Help Please! My 3Rd Grader Is Doing Homework Until 10p.m.

Updated on September 01, 2010
C.D. asks from Hillsboro, TX
27 answers

Hi Mommas! My 8yr old daughter was doing homework from 4pm until 10pm tonight. The only break she had was dinner. She had to read for 20 mins, practice math facts for 20 mins, write her spelling words 3 times each, do 2 pages of math homework, a page of language arts, practice spelling words for the test tommorow, and practice writing the letter f in cursive(two lines of lower, two lines of upper, and write the following sentence 5 times-Fred had fun finding frogs and fish on his father's farm.) She also had to write one sentence using each of her spelling words. The math and the language arts was classroom work that she did not finish, but the rest was homework. I would like to know if you think this is excessive or a normal amount of homework for a 3rd grader.
She is a very good student, she makes A's in all subjects except in spelling she made a B. In 2nd grade she had to bring classwork home occasionally, also. Her teacher said she was not talking, or playing or doing anything that would cause her to get behind. She just takes longer to do her work.
I would just like to know what you think about this, and if you have any suggestions to improve the situation. Thanks so much, I look forward to reading your responses!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

1. How is her handwriting? Does she have to go exceedingly slow to be legible?
2. How fast does she read?

The most effective fix would be to have her tested (and diagnosed with) either ADD, dyslexia, or dysgraphia (trouble writing). In addition to whatever therapies are effective for her in those areas - she would also quailfy under section 504 for modifications. I.E. One row each of f's, leave off 30% of the math problems - or if the issue is dysgraphia, have her do them orally with you writing them as an accomodation. It pretty much lowers the requirement down to what she is able to complete in a reasonable amount of time.

S.

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J.M.

answers from Lubbock on

YOu might want to speak withthe teacher about the amount of homework. When I was teaching, the rule of thumb was about 10 minutes of homework per grade level until about Jr. Hi. You also need to find out why she is not finishing the class work.

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R.H.

answers from Dallas on

I agree you need to conferance with the teacher. I have a 3rd grader, we have 20 min of reading and 1 math worksheet that is it. Good Luck!

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B.P.

answers from Dallas on

granddaughter was in 3rd last yr, no way did she have that much. The one that was n 2nd grade last yr had some of these things but they were not all on one night, It was space out throught the week.

Tip if you need to do Math facts 20 min, and spelling by calling out wds. what I did was this while I was driving kids to school, going somewhere. It save time and they are still doing it but not at home but during drving time.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

I think this is excessive, you might want to talk to the teacher about it.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

I am an elementary teacher, and that sounds like way too much homework to me. I would definitely schedule a conference with her teacher, and meet with the teacher to explain the amount of time she is spending on homework. You should ask if your daughter is actually working during the time given for work, or if she is piddling (even quietly) instead of working. If it appears that she is not working, the teacher may be sending everything home just to help her learn that if she chooses not to work at school, she will still have to do the work. If the teacher feels your daughter is trying hard, but still is not getting her work done, you might ask if there is any way the teacher could reduce the assignments just a little. Maybe instead of copying the spelling words 3 times, she could write them twice, and then spell them out loud to you once. Or you could give her a "pre-test" and she would only write the ones she misses. With handwriting, instead of writing the sentence 5 times, if she does it neatly the first two times, then she can be done. Sometimes these are options.

One thing to keep in mind, the rigor in 3rd grade is MUCH different than in 2nd grade. I think this is one of the hardest grade level transitions for kids. Another thing is to please approach the teacher as if you two are on the same team--express your concern without being accusatory. Sometimes parents get defensive before the teacher even realizes there is a problem, then the teacher never really gets a chance to fix the problem before everybody is on edge and feeling anxious.

Good luck!
J.

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D.M.

answers from Dallas on

A conference with the teacher may help. I think that at the third grade level, a child should have no more than 30 minutes of "homework". Their concentration level is limited at this age and they also need socialization and relaxation time at home. Six hours is extremely excessive, considering how many hours she is in school. School is about 7 hours long, so your child is spending at least 13 hours on schooling. Is this a first year teacher? Sounds like you are the teacher at home! Also check with the school policy. Usually there is a homework clause in the policy. Some schools place limits on how much work can be assigned at home, and some schools don't even advocate "homework".
A retired teacher who has taught 43 years. I have taught all grade levels: primary, elementary, and high school, and college.

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J.A.

answers from Amarillo on

Hi C., I am struggling with the same thing but my son is in the 4th grade. On top of the rediculous amount of homework we also have 2 1/2 hours of football practice every night. It's absolutely in sane to have so much homework. Here's what I am doing to help a little, first and foremost I sit with him throughout his math, science, and language papers. Instead of having him sit there and think about how to work a problem for a few minutes I simply show him how to do it and how to get the right answer. I don't think it's cheating or giving him the answer, I actually explain how to do it as we go but it gets done a LOT faster. Also, for the spelling... writing them 3 times each IS studying them and doing 2 math papers IS studying math facts, any additional facts that need studied can be done over the weekend. As for the reading, I've been signing his folder the night before and he reads on the bus ride to school in the morning. I know he reads because he's always on a different page, and he knows if he doesn't read I will not sign the folder for the next night. We still end up doing 1-2 hours of homework some nights but with these simple steps we have cut the time in at least half. Also, one other tip... let her eat a snack and run around the yard, jump rope, or jump on a trampoline for 15 minutes before she starts any homework, after 15 minutes of vigorous excercise she will be able to sit still and concentrate a lot better.

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

As a former teacher who just resigned to stay at home with my daughter - that is WAY TOO MUCH homework for a 3rd grader!!! We had a policy in my school that homework, unless the students had catch up work from absenses, should not be more than about an hour and a half at night for 3rd, 4th or 5th graders, less for the little ones. It sounds like your daughter is a good student and is not having problems with the concepts, just the amount of the work. Does your daughter have different teachers for each subject, or does she have the same teacher all day? If she has different teachers for different subjects, the teachers might not be communicating about how much homework each of them is giving, which is leading to your problem. If it is one teacher for all subjects, then the teacher needs to know how much time your daughter is spending every night. Either way, I would cal a conference with the teacher(s) and let them know your concerns! Children need time to play, relax and rest :)

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

I would take ALL That work to the principle and plop it on his desk and ask him/her if they would like to come to your house and help your child do all this work, eat and have rest time and get to bed at a decent time. That is crazy that they have so much home work in the 3rd grade, Im sorry but its only the 3rd grade... if they wernt so worried about the darn taks test then they could actually get that stuff done in class...

Maybe the teachers should work out a schedule of who send homework home on what day (math monday, english tuesday, writing wednesday and so on...)

that way there is not all of it on the same day.

HTH- A. J

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A.O.

answers from Dallas on

I taught 3rd grade before staying at home. I would say that it sounds like too much. I will tell you that 3rd grade is a big change from the primary years. I would ask the teacher to call you to explain how she is doing in class along with what is the school rule for the homework. A lot of times the principal dictates the time that is to be given. I would check that.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.,

Wow, you have received some great advice. We fought many issues with our now teenage daughters while in elem. and middle school. I am beginning to homeschool our son next week after giving the schools a try this year. I taught for 13 years and understand both sides, but find the system very frustrating. If you decide to seek alternatives to public education, I would love to talk with you about homeschooling your child along with mine. Best of luck!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Heck Yeah That is to much work. Where is the time to be a kid. Not only is it to much, when does she get a break????? Would you want to go to work and do that much??? Because that is what you are asking her to do. Not only would I talk to the teacher...I would tell her that it is to much work and that you will not be making her do it. I would also talk to the principle. Does the administration understand what it is taking for kids to finish this amount of work. I would also think about having her eyes checked and asking for her to be tested for dyslexia etc. That is to much work for any child regardless of age in my opinion. PERIOD!!

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N.L.

answers from Dallas on

You have gotten great advice. My daughter is in first grade now and is in a new charter school. But last year in kindergarten, I had that same problem. She had several things to do every night also plus soccer practice 2 nights a week. My husband and I both work downtown from 8-5am so by the time we pick her up and get home its 6pm. So that left little time for homework. Plus by 6 oclock she didn't have the attention span to sit and do more work. I was caught off guard by that. Her kindergarten class was 7hrs long, so I wasnn't sure why so much work was coming home for a 5yr old, when they were in school 7 hrs a day. So we finally had a conference with her teacher and we decided that it was easier if we could do alot of her home work on the weekend when she was more rested and alert, and much more excited to sit down and do it. So that was our solution! Maybe you could ask the teacher if some of that work can be done on the weekend instead of after school! But definately talk to the teacher!! Good Luck!

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.- First thing to check- where is she doing her homework? Hopefully not in front of computer or TV-no phone- best place in kitchen table or somewhere in view. Second of all-there should be no work left over from class- this means that her "pace" is not only at home but in the class- Its not like she is struggling b/c you stated she is a good student- so its only one thing- procrastinatios and laxy dazzical- TOTALLY normal for this age. This is a great age for procrastination but it does seem like she has a LOT of homework- speak with the teacher first- see how long this should take her-ALso- do NOT allow work to come home that isnt completed in class- let her take the lower grade- period. then..... pop a timer on during homework time-when it goes off- she is done- trust me- it will KILL you to send her to school without her work done the first few times- a few bad grades will make the difference and create a life lesson- I guarantee you that you will only have to do this once maybe twice-Its a proven method- trust me- She sounds like she is a conscientious sutdent so it WILL matter to her- but the lolly gaggy- (jersey term- ha) will come to an end. Pay now or pay later- fix it when she is this age b/c come Freshman year- it will def affect her grade and she will have oather activities to fit all that in- Let me know how it goes- I have a 17 yr old son and 13 yr old dgt- hasnt been a problem in my house in 8 years-
D.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

I feel you need to get her tested for ADD. I have ADD. It used to take me all evening to do my homework too. Once I was on my meds than I did better. I pray that you get her tested soon and help her as much as you can without giving her the answers on her work. My mom used to have to stay over me to get my work done. Also, know that she may out grow the ADD some, I as an adult have trouble with mine but not nearly as much as I did in elementary school.

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Is this all do the next day??? We get weekly homework packets. That's insane!!!!

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Does she work constantly from 4pm to 10pm? Do you watch her work? The only reason I ask is I was one of those kids who would start working on something and then I'd start daydreaming, so my work often took twice as long because I would procrastinate (either intentionally or unintentionally). Your description does sound like a lot of work, but not 6 hours (less dinner). Are there other distractions in the room, like TV, radio, other family members? No matter what, have a conference with the teacher to see how you might reduce the burden. (or see if she's wasting time in class that she could be working on assignments) If your daughter is struggling to get it all done, she's probably not the only one.

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N.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.,

I remember when I was in school, it took me forever to get going with my homework and really focus on the assignments that were to be completed (essays took me hours, and finally the words would start to flow late at night).

I wish that I knew about adaptogens back when I was studying and had to take tests! I was an excellent student; it just took me forever to finish assignments and tests.

I highly recommend an incredible book titled Adaptogens: Herbs for Strength, Stamina, and Stress Relief by Winston and Maimes. From the book "There is a category of herbs called adaptogens that help the human body adapt to stress, support normal metabolic processes, and restore balance. They increase the body's resistance to physical, biological, emotional, and environmental stressors and promote normal physiologic function".

The 10 most potent adaptogens on the earth, with the highest therapeutic properties available are now delievered in a fast acting oral spray, called Tunguska Mist.

Go to www.VitalHealth.TunguskaMist.com to learn more.

Many parents have had wonderful results using the Tunguska Mist Pure to help restore balance in their children and improve their focus. Teachers often comment that the student's behavior is significantly improved, and grades go from C's and D's to A's and B's. In fact, one parent even reported that their child was called a "model student".

Tunguska Mist Pure boosts the immune system, increases mental clarity and focus, increases energy and stamina, and enhances physical performance. It tastes great, and with the intra-oral spray, over 90% of the nutrients in Tunguska Mist get absorbed immediately, and go to work within seconds.

Please let me know if you have any questions. My husband and I have been taking adaptogens for a long time, and we are passionate about helping people reduce the damaging effects of stress and restore balance NATURALLY, without medications. Good luck and God Bless:)

Best regards,
N.

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G.A.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter is also in the 3rd. grade. She came home tonight with a Math sheet, Flash cards, a spelling list and 20 minutes of reading?????????? I was helping her with her homework for 2 1/2 hours. This is just the begining of the year! My daughter said that the teacher only gives so many minutes to complete each subject in class that is why they have to complete class work at home. Way too much for such young children. G. in Illinois

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Oh my goodness, I would CRY!! My daughter is 8 and in 3rd grade and has no such expectations!! She has to read for 15 min a night, and do one worksheet of homework. One night it is for math, another for language arts etc. They are not required to do spelling words this year, they get a list on Monday and the test is on Friday. But I make my daughter do a few things to review them on our own. She too has been a straight A student. I would go in and put my foot down if it were me. Seriously, that is over the top!! It still should not take her so long to do that amount of work, but they get bored and overwhelmed, and lose focus...they are 8 for crying out loud! I am not sure how to suggest that you solve this problem, but I think it sounds like a lot in my opinion. Best of luck to you and your tired little girl...what ever happened to letting kids be kids and actually having time to play?!?! ~A.~

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K.E.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.,
We ran into this issue last year.My husband and I had a conference with the teacher and she was shocked it was taking my daughter that long to complete her work. She made some adjustments to the homework schedule and we began spending about 30 mins to an hour on homework. So I would suggest setting up a conference with your teacher and find a new plan. A child cant spend the entire day doing homework or she will begin to dislike school.

K.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi!
Honestly it doesn't sound unreasonable, but the time it took her to do it does. Maybe she works slowly and carefully, maybe she's a perfectionist :). 6 hours is ridiculous. You might want to speak to her teachers and ask them what they think. If she is not getting classwork done and is behaving maybe she needs to meet after school with someone who can work with her on her homework and maybe get through it faster. Maybe the teachers can assign her just enough so that they can see she knows how to do it, but so that she isn't up so late doing it all.
As she gets older though there is going to be LOTS more homework. Kids actally develop back problems from the weight in their backpacks!
I hope these suggestions help!

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J.B.

answers from Tyler on

Some schools have students changing classes in third grade. Is the same teacher over all her subjects? I think sometimes the left hand doesn't always know what the right hand is doing, if you know what I mean. If the same teacher is over all her subjects, I'd ask other mothers how much their child is bringing home to compare if EVERYONE has that much, or if, like some have suggested, your child is slower than the others. My daughter just found out her 1st grader has a learning disability and needs vision therapy to correct the problem. So, ask questions and get others' opinions. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

C.....Welcome to my world!

I have a third grader also and he was up till 11pm doing homework all last week. I was completely frustrated! Not only did he have homework, I had to teach him everything before he could do it. This is a kid who always has straight A's, medalist in UIL competitions, one of the brightest kids in school.....why didn't he know this stuff and why so much work?? Some of the work was his school work that didn't get completed, not like him at all!

I finally broke down and emailed his teacher a few days ago trying to figure out what was going on. Was it scheduling problems that she didn't have enough time to teach, or was he doing something?

Turns out that this year they changed the curriculum, and under this curriculum what they are "learning" is actually supposed to be "review". Meaning they should have already been taught these principles in 2nd grade, but they didn't under the old curriculum. And that all the kids are struggling, especially her slower kids. And for that reason she called a grade meeting with the principal yesterday and explained the situation. She said she needed time to teach these principles. The Principal agreed and told them to slow down...thank goodness! She assured me there wouldn't be as much homework, but since it was 3rd grade and the great state of Texas thinks TAKS tests (standardized test) is a good thing (not REALLY!) and 3rd grade is when you start taking the test...well there will just be more homework than before.

My suggestion, contact the teacher, talked with her and see what is going on. You'll continue to be frustated until you do.

Much Luck!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, C.. As a former elementary teacher, I would say this is definitely WAY too much work to be bringing home. First, your daughter should be able to finish her classwork in school. I would investigate that and see if there is too much pencil and paperwork given in class or is maybe something going on that is causing your daughter to have incomplete work at the end of the day. I have a first grader who takes his time and completes, then re-does work all the time. It's frustrating because he is a perfectionist and we have just had to explain that he needs to do his best work, but also COMMPLETE that work. As far as work that is assigned as homework, your daughter should not be spending more than 20-30 minutes on homework daily...and she should not be EXPECTED to spend more time than that. If she has trouble with a concept that is reinforced at home, talk to the teacher. But it sounds like there is just too much being sent home. Our third grader right now has one assignment each night that is related to his spelling words. The assignments for the entire week are given on Monday to be turned in Friday, and he usually finishes all four by Tuesday. I know his homework will increase as we get further into the year, but not anything like what you are describing. Finally, as a parent and former educator, if I were in your shoes, I would schedule a conference with your daughter's teacher. Get to know her, her teaching philosophy and how she views the value of this type of homework situation. Is the entire third grade team sending home the same amount of homework for each of the 3rd grade classes? LISTEN and make sure you talk calmly and come across as being supportive of the teacher, too. She is much more likely to hear your side of it if you do. I don't know how, but she may just be clueless as to the amount of time this is taking. Also, make sure new concepts are not being sent home. Homework should be designed as reinforcement for concepts already taught in class and to develop good study habits in students. Is your child's teacher new to third grade? Third grade is a little different from some of the other grade levels because it is a testing year...YUCK. I could really get going on that! That being said, though, the curriculum really is dictated by that upcoming test. If your teacher is doing what she is required to do with the kids test-wise, as well as squeeze in other activities that are more fun and that she finds value in, it may be a balancing and time management issue. All in all, there are so many factors that could be contributing to your situation, that again, you really just need to sit down with her and gain a complete understanding of the way your daughter's classroom is functioning. Good luck!

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L.K.

answers from Abilene on

You have gotten a lot of advice so I will try to keep it short and sweet. I want you to know that this advice is coming from a woman who has grown up with learning disabilities (ADD and Dyslexia mainly), a teacher of children with special needs and a mom. I had a similar experience in school in 2nd grade. I have always been a very dedicated student, but the teaching styles and classroom environment that I was exposed to at the time suddenly highlighted my disabilities. We didnt realize those were the problems at the time, and my parents and I would spend long hours most weeknights trying to finish classwork and homework. All I am saying is...look into lots of different possibilities. Talk to your daughter's teacher about her day at school and how she is doing in all areas, do some research online about dyslexia and ADD, get her eyes checked. Keep encouraging your daughter. You guys are both awesome for working so hard on it together. There are numerous things that could help to make your lives easier. You just have to identify the problem(s). Feel free to email me if you have more questions.

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