Help Needed with 4 Year Old Who Holds in Poop.

Sounds exactly like my daughter! She is 2 1/2, and has been potty trained since the summer. In November she had a poop that hurt...so she stopped going. The whole ordeal lasted 2 weeks, and life was miserable for the whole family. Then it just resolved itself...nothing I did worked. One day she just decided to go again. I thought that would have been a miserable enough experience that she wouldn't do it again. But...2 months later, another poop that hurt (not a hard one, more on the soft side...that maybe cause stinging?) Anyway, we're going through it all again. Don't know what to do?! Try everything. She had a potty chart that she likes, but not quite motivating enough to do poop in the potty. She will do it every few days in her pull-up (she asks to wear one to poop in) other than that she is still in her big her panties. No reward/bribe is motivating enough...trip to the zoo, candy store...nothing. I try just "ignoring" it, and leaving things up to her, but it's so hard. I thought making it not an issue would be better. It's so hard....good luck! Let me know if anything works well for you. It's nice to know there is someone out there with the same issue!

You got great advice here, I just wanted to add something on one aspect: Using stool softener medications and suppositories may be sending her the message that "There's something wrong with you so we must give you medicines," which is what these products are. The fact she's still holding it in despite what are some pretty powerful medications indicates, as you noted, that it's mental. I'd stop the suppositories, softeners, laxatives etc. -- they're only adding chemicals to her body while not having the desired effect and may be adding to her mental stress by giving her the idea she's "damaged" in some way. If you want her feel the urge to poop without the chemicals, try prune juice or, much tastier and with lots more fiber, cut-up prunes. (But don't tell her the purpose of the prunes is to help her poop or she will resist them, since she has this control issue about pooping! Tell her they're a new and yummy treat!) My child thinks they're like candy, they're so sweet. But even if she won't eat prunes, try doing without the medicines for a while and letting her realize her body will get the job done without them and she is not "sick." Good luck working through this and good for you for seeking medical advice instead of trying to handle it alone! That's what doctors are there for!

I had the exact same problem with my son when he was 4. It lasted a long time. The Dr. took an X ray and showed that his intestines were full right up to his stomach. That's a lot of poopie. He was in pain, he had accidents when it got too full, he didn't want to eat because his belly hurt, but he was hungry... he was really a mess. The Dr. gave him two kinds of laxative - one was miralax, the other was something citrus or citrus something. At any rate, I just worked with him all the time and encouraged him to go on the potty, found a reward that meant something to him... it was trains for him. We had a potty chart, and each time he went on the potty, he got a smiley face on his chart. When he filled up the week with smiley faces, he got a Thomas train. Yes, it got expensive, but it worked.

The Dr. also suggested an enema to clean him out and start over... we didn't have to go that route, but I would have if it had lasted any longer. As it was, it took about 6 months including the time before we saw the Dr. I was trying some things at home.

Good luck with that. It does get better, you just have to find out what reward means something to her. The hardest part is to NOT get angry with her, or use negative reinforcements like taking something away when she has an accident. It sometimes seems like "Well, I've tried everything else, might as well see if this works," but it doesn't. It might make it worse.

Check with your Dr. and see if he/she has any strong laxative to recommend, or if an enema is worth a try. I would try that before trying a psychologist, but it might come to that as well. Every child is different with different needs. Do what she needs to get better. She's in pain.

I would talk to your pediatrician for a referral because she should have a physical to make sure that is not the cause. Hopefully, you would have done tha tbefore giving her any meds!! That aside, I have had a good experience with Ashburn Psychological Services.

I would also recommend that you spend sometime educating your daughter about her body - if you haven't already. I don't have this issue at my house, but I have always talked ot my kids about how their bodies work and what a healthy body does. I wouldn;'t take the apprach of, "It's dangerous to do this to your body!!" But I would just integrate some disucssions of food and digestion into your normal conversations. "Let's drink water tonight - water makes your body work well." Or, "Yor body is soooo smart - your stomach knwos what nutirents to keep and use, and the rest of your body can get rid of the junk." Get a body book and let her learn body parts and organs, etc. Make sure she knows tha ther body works well.

Kids often do better with a little information. RIght now, her body is a mystery and she may be scared or worried about how things work, It may help her to understand wha tis normal and how she has to help her body do it's job.

Ther eis proabbaly also an element of control issues going on here. With a little educaiton, she might find some better ways to control her body - "I pick good foods to eat to be healthy" - to replace bad control issues like "I decide when to poop.'

Good luck!

My son also had this problem where he would hold and hold until is 'dribbled' out. He suffered with terrible constipation (still does) and like you we had to use stool softners with success as he now goes with no issues. Until this though we saw Dr Irene Chatoor at Children's in DC , we were referred to her from the feeding team at Childrens.

Good luck

K.

My 3 1/2 year old is doing the same thing. Things were fine and all of a sudden he started holding it in too. I now tell him that if he doesn't go, I will call the poop police. That actually works, sometimes. I do know he DOES NOT like to go in public bathrooms. I, too, give the miralax, daily. My friend had a similar issue and they used a call from "Santa", it worked. I don't know what else to do either. If you find help, let me know. I have read some of the other responses and their advice looks good. It is a control thing. L.