HELP!! My Toddler Won't Sleep Through the Night Anymore!!

Updated on September 29, 2009
S.B. asks from Lindon, UT
8 answers

My son is 21/2 years old. He has ALWAYS been a great sleeper. About one month ago he started jumping out of his crib at night so we made his crib into a toddler bed. I can mindfully say that I regret this decision!!! Ever since then he has gotten up in the night (which I think that he did this before in his crib, but he went right back to sleep automatically). He will not go back to sleep. I read around online and it says to just keep walking him back to bed and explain that this is where he needs to sleep at night. One night I did this with much patience (I didn't raise my voice at all) for about four solid hours (I literally took him back to him bed about 40 times) with no progress. He thought that it was a game eventually. He won't even sleep in my room on the floor. I refuse to have him sleep in our bed because I know that will just open another can of worms. He just cries because I won't rock him ALL NIGHT LONG!! Most days he acts scared (talks about monsters in his room) and I think that is what is waking him up. Please help me!! Last night I even struggled to get him to go to sleep to start off the night, which has never happened before. I use to look forward to my night for sleep, now I dread it!! I need some ideas on how to get him back to sleep. I am going CRAZY!!

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

My first son did that, too. We ended up putting the side back on his crib. But he wasn't trying to climb out or anything, and he was younger (18 months). I got the feeling that he felt that since he COULD get up if he woke up in the middle of the night, he SHOULD get up. He was miserable, though, because he was soooo tired.

With my second son, someone on MommaSource suggested a baby gate on my son's door. He really hates being "trapped" anywhere, so closing his door was NOT an option. But after the security of being confined to a crib, he needed the security of being confined to his room. He did just fine. It's worth a shot!

We also talked to our boys a LOT. There are rules that come with having a big boy bed. Like if he wakes up and it's dark, he has to stay in his bed. If he wakes up and it's light in his room, he can get up. The natural consequence of not following the rules (it seemed to us, anyway) was that he wouldn't get to sleep in his big boy bed anymore, and he'd have to have a baby crib again.

Good luck!

E.F.

answers from Casper on

I have had very good luck with mine transitioning around 2- 2.5 years. I start trying to get mine in the big bed at least three months before or three months after anything big in the family is happening (especially a new baby). However, if you do not have any major events coming you might want to consider letting him try but not being dead set on it, and waiting a little bit longer, say until three.

Whatever you do you will need to be consistent. So If you don't want to be snuggling throughout the night, you need to have a routine for bed time and then be constant the rest of the time.

What I do is just take their hand,(not carry because then they are getting the reward they wanted) and walk them back to bed and tuck them in with kindness, and leave. Minimal talking the first time if any. and do not hold or rock him. It might take awhile with tiring nights, but eventually he will get it. remember it always gets worse before it gets better. you must do it for at least one week maybe two, to see if it is going to work.
Perhaps you and your husband could take shifts that way you can each get at least 5 hours of sleep if one of you goes to sleep when he does.
You could also get a night light to help with the monster thing. I have also heard of parents using a water spray bottle (monster spray) to dispel any Monsters under the bed or in closets.:)

The other thing I like to do when transitioning is to keep the crib up and in the same room (if you can). I remind them that if they are going to sleep in a big bed they have to be big and stay in bed. I give three reminders (putting back in the big bed), then I put them back in the crib for the night and tell them they can try again tomorrow. Same with nap times.
If you don't have a toddler bed, you could look into borrowing a friends just until he can stay in bed. or look at a 2nd hand store or garage sale. That way you can still use your crib.
when you are fist putting him in bed, it helps to say something like,
"I will be back to check on you in a bit, after I... do the dishes etc... if you stay in bed."

Good luck and may sleep be with you!
E.

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

Persistence is the key, Mom! One night will not cut it. Put a gate on his door, and let him alone. Every once in a while when he's screaming, tell him it's bedtime, sleepy time and goodnight. Do it again every 20 minutes at first, then longer in between. DO NOT PICK HIM UP AND ROCK HIM. He's learned how to pull your chain, and you fall for it, like most mommies do!! We hate to hear our babies crying.
Put his mattress on HIS floor,and let him fall asleep where he will. Keep him in warm jammies, and it won't matter. Cover him up where he lies.
As for monsters, fill a spray bottle up with colored water and a few (15) drops of high quality lavender oil (to help him sleep- just a few drops will scent the air and work wonders), and both of you use that "Monster spray" to get rid of them. It even worked on the shark under my son's toddler bed. Very versatile! Even make a label with a monster head in a circle with a line through it.
Do you read stories before bed and have some cuddle time? If you do at regular times, he will associate that with bedtime. Might make the transition easier for both of you. Gird up you loins, Momma. Things will get better when her realizes HE is no longer in charge, and your sleep will be yours again!

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C.K.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I got my son a special dragon that eats the bad stuff in his room, which he loves on the nights he says he is scared. We also play music/story cd's for him and if he wakes up in the middle of the night he knows how to push the play button and start it over again which he needed a little help at first because he would push it more than once usually but got the hang of it. He was about that age as well. I know not all parents would be comfortable with that though but mine is pretty adept at figuring out electronics. We also got a special night light that shines stars and stuff in his room. I was also an educator and I rarely let my son sleep in my room (when he is sick is about the only time) so I made him as self sufficent as possible at putting himself back to bed. It usually works.

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J.M.

answers from Denver on

Okay, I'm in the same boat...well I was. A few things that worked for me. The monster thing - play along, say "mommy will get them" - have him stay in your room or whatever and you go in bang around make noise....then call him in and tell him "mommy through them out the window, or flushed them down the toilet" - childrens imaginations are real to them. I did this and anytime my daughter mentions "monsters" I say where did mommy put them! :) Out the window! As far as getting up a couple things I did...first - I would lock her in her room...she would really cry(this was to get her to go to sleep) then after 10 or so minutes I would go in and rock her, she'd fall asleep. OR I lay her down rub her back and then tell her I would be right back to check on her, I leave her door open and would turn on a light in my bedroom - she would always fall asleep. She still gets up once and awhile in the middle of the night, but I started locking our master bedroom door, so she has to knock - she can't come in. When I first did this she got up and now she will knock and I can just take her back, lay her in bed, turn on her music and rub her back. I don't stay for long and tell her I will check on her, it seems to be working...Good Luck - hope this helps!

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S.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

These are all great ideas, one more thing could be to give him protein before bed. I read about a study that kids wake in the night as their blood sugar drops.... most likely the bowl of icecream they had before bed. That wakes them. I gave my son a slice of lunch meat before bed and that helped at least with the natural waking. good luck

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S.B.

answers from Boise on

It dose not sound like the bed time is the rough part, great job with the routine.

If you put a child gate at his door after you have put him to bed and just let him stay in his room when he wakes up he will go back to sleep, and you do not have to worry about him wondering around the house by him self. And you can get some sleep.

He may fall asleep on the floor a few times but eventually will figure out that the bed is more comfortable.

If there are a lot of toys around he may play for a while. You may want to take out or put up loud toys or favorites so he will not wake him self up more with those toys. Leave a pile of books for him to look at and he will at least be laying down and fall asleep sooner.

Good luck,
S.
Mother to Kai
www.HomeWithKai.info

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

S., I feel your pain. My daughter, same age, was doing that a few months ago. This is what worked for us. We went to the store and she picked out a new night light. Then we got books at the library about monsters being silly or not real. Read those for about 2 weeks straight, we stressed to her that monsters are not real, they are just pets =) It worked for us. She doesn't fall aleep right away, but does stay in bed now. I also had people tell me to give her a flashlight that is easy to turn on for toddlers, play along like it's a light sword and everytime he thinks he is scared to turn it on, we never did that, but it might work for you...keep an eye on the shadows in his room, that is what scared my daughter the most, is there a weird scare shadow from the closet? What does the room look like when a car passes by with their lights on? My daughter was more scared when we closed the door, she knows that if she gets up we will close the door, as long as she is in bed the door stays open, figure out what is really scaring him and work that into your solution, is it the closet? if he stays in bed the closet door will be closed, if he gets up, mommy needs to open the door... good luck!

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