Help My Three Year Old Wont Sleep

Make a special soothing thing of bed time, when you think she is actually getting sleepy. Read stories, play sleepy time tapes, and do have a night light. Sounds like she may of got scared sometime, or had a bad dream and that started it.But if you don't make a fight of it, and maybe let her even fall asleep somewhere else and transfer her to her room, she will gradually get over it. It won't happen over night. but with soothing things, she will.

Let her fall asleep wherever she wants then just carry her to her room. This will be a passing phase. If you try to force her now when she doesn't want to it will cause un-needed stress for both of you. I always say "pick your battles", lol. Some things are just not worth the battle, and there are so many things we have to deal with as moms that we truly do have to choose which ones are worth the time and energy to fight against. We all have to get sleep and at this point I would take it however I could get it! I also like the advice about setting the timer, I lay with our youngest for 10 minutes every night, I don't set a timer, but after 10 minutes I tell her something I need to go before I can go to bed, and go do it. She now stays in her bed when I leave, but for months I stayed by her until she fell asleep. We have worked our way to me not staying as long just over the past two months. You just have to do what makes her feel the most comforted, provides the most sleep for you and her, and what you are comfortable with doing. Good luck!

I let my son have the light on and a radio or cd turned down so that no one else is annoyed by it. I close his closet door wedge the bedroom door open and show him that no one can lock him in his room or get to him. I also check the window. Recently I've trained our medium size dog Sumi to go to bed with him and stay at least half the night. I know he will grow out of this, but until he does I think this is nothing compared to a good nights sleep. I use to insist that if he came into my room to sleep he had to make a bed on the floor, because he was too big not to sleep in his own bed. This discouraged him and now he sleeps in his room "almost" every night.

Three is the age when most kids start to have nightmares. At this age they can’t really distinguish a nightmare from reality. Their imaginations have developed more and the dark room can be very scary. Let her have the night light and try to find out what it is that she is afraid of. Maybe you can give her a new stuffed animal to sleep with that is a ‘monster banisher.’ You can tell her that it will protect her and help her to be brave.
If she wakes up with a nightmare just give her a cuddle and tell that it’s not real it was just a dream. She most likely just needs reassurance. She thinks that she needs your protection. Let her know that you do not allow any monsters in your house and that if there were any you would make them leave. Tell her, "I am tougher than any monster" and that you have special "Mommy powers."
Also, you might want to see if she is watching any shows or movies that she is not quite ready for. Even most Disney movies have parts that can be too frightening for most three year olds.
Good luck.

What is she afraid of? If it's monsters, you can logically talk her through it or you can get her a magic light that keeps the monsters out of her room. We bought a mini-disco ball lamp for our oldest. She loved her monster light because it kept her safe. She doesn't use the monster light anymore, but she does have a princess carriage lamp that we leave on all night.
If she's afraid of something else, address it on her level. She's 3. She believes in monsters, magic, everything. Her world is much bigger now than when she was 2. She may have fears she may not feel comfortable talking about just out of the blue. Talking about it while she's upset and tired doesn't work either. Sit down with her, play with her in her room and talk about bedtime, nighttime, her getting up, etc.
Having an open dialog now, even with a 3-year-old, makes her more likely to talk about other things later. It's not easy. Get Dad to talk to her too on his own. She may be afraid because he's not there at night and she just doesn't feel safe.
She may open up to one of you but not the other on this subject. That's very common.
The key is to make her feel like her feelings are vaild and that you take them seriously without playing into her fears too much. She has to see that you are more than equipped to make her safe.
I have been where you are. I have had a great sleeper become a non-sleeper because of fears of monsters. After weeks of not knowing what was going on, we found out she was deathly afraid of monsters because of some commercial she saw. (go figure!) We don't let her watch anything scary, so it caught us off-guard. I have 3 kids: 6, 4, and 9 mos. Sleep patterns will change but you can work to get her back on track.
I hope this helps. If I've missed the boat and this is not the issue, let me know! Thanks!!

You may not like my answer. Do you sleep well with her in your bed? My daughter is now 9, but when she was 2 we had our 2nd child we let her get in bed with us or I would get in bed with her,so she wouldn't wake the baby. I just did what was easy to get some much needed sleep. I did this for about 4 years until she was 6 and I said no more. Some people will probably disagree with me, but honestly you just do what works, because one day she won't want to sleep with you and they are only little for a very short time. Good luck!!

My husband works nights too!!! I work full-time and we have our child in a MDO program at the church & work out the "daycare" since my husband may have two days off during the week..So I feel like a single mom. I had the problem where my little 3 year old girl would find every excuse there was not for me to walk out of the room when it was time for her to go to bed. I have been told I must walk out but be sure you say I love you every time. They will find out that Mommy cares but will not come because she is crying or screaming. You know the difference between a forced cry and one that is real. The advice I got is I have to be firm with her and tell her it is time to go to bed and only two books and that is it. She will agree...then I say goodnight, and the things we say...and I love you...see you in the morning...etc etc etc and five minutes later she is quiet. The advice was that I cannot linger...and go back everytime she calls me ....try to get everything said in one time and walk out. Hope this helps ~ I am not perfect but this is one area I have trouble in and it is getting better as I am a mom who works full-time and need my sleep too...but the good thing is she does not do any crying in the middle of the night. I think she knows better LOL. Hope you find the answers you need. And I have been told to keep things routine...same drill, bath, books, bedtime and keep it at the same time. All this started for me with the time change and I am now getting her bed quicker and easily than I have had in the last 2 months.

hi there,
kids her age often develop fears that parents don't realize. it's best to reassure her and tell her you'll always be there for her. me and several other moms i know have gone through this and we've found that the best thing is to go ahead and let her sleep with you, if not on your bed, then make her a bed on the floor, or you could stay with her until she falls asleep. hope you get some rest soon. hang in there!

I have an almost 3 yr old girl...they are little 'toots' aren't they?!! If my Emily were doing this (she has once or twice), I would tell her before bedtime that "girls that obey get privileges, like ice cream and cartoons, and girls that disobey don't get those things." Let her know what your expectations are of her, "I expect you to stay in bed." Let her cry herself to sleep if need be, and if she gets out of bed, give her a firm swat on the thigh...stay with her for a couple minutes while she cries (laying your hand gently on her, if she lets you.) Let her know what you expect of her, then do the process all over againg if need be. Of course...be sure not to swat her out of anger, but as a controlled tool for discipline. I think once you get this part under control, the falling asleep will resolve itself within a couple days. Do you have someone that could help you out during a couple hours of the day for a couple days, so you can get a nap possibly?? Thankfully these tough times only come in 'seasons' or 'spurts' then on to the next one!!

My son went through this for 6 months when he was 3. It was exhausting and contributed to his defiant behaviors. The last straw came when he not only was fighting going to bed, but sleeping through the night. We tried a psychologist, but that was a waste of time and money since all she did during the sessions was to coach him to say, "Yes, Mommy and Daddy, I will go to bed." We even offered rewards for sleeping through the night. After 6 months, we began issuing consequences for coming out of his room- we spanked him. Once we realized it was nothing but a power struggle to sleep through the night, I bought sleeping bags that I keep under my bed for both of my kids. My son is almost 6 now, and when he gets up in the middle of the night, he comes into my room, we get his sleeping bag out and he goes right back to sleep. As for going to bed at night, you gotta lay the law down now- going to bed is something worth fighting for, because not enough sleep leads to bigger problems!

When I was pregnant with my first child (23 years ago), I was watching the Phil Donahue Show and they were discussing a new book called "The Family Bed." The author was a proponent of parents snuggling with their children during sleep. The author said, "Separate bedrooms are an artificial human invention that came along only after World War II - - as a sign of affluence. If you had money, you would show your wealth by having a house with many bedrooms." Think about it: our great-grandfathers most likely shared ONE bed with four brothers.

He went on to talk about nightmares in young children and how he believed that forcing a young child to sleep alone in a dark room just went against how young humans were MEANT to be raised. He said, "Our skin is the largest organ in the body. It is meant to be touched. If you deprive an infant from touch, it will fail to thrive."

A woman in the audience stood up and confronted this author. She said, "When my son has a nightmare, we just go into his room with a glass of water, and tell him, "Drink the water and it will wash away all the bad dreams."

The author politely listened to this woman, then he gently said to her, "Tell me, how would you feel if you went to your husband and said, 'Honey, I just really need a hug right now' and your husband said, 'Here, seetheart, have a glass of water.'?"

I decided right then and there, that I would follow the simple rule that this author proposed: KIDS ARE NEVER INVITED AND NEVER REFUSED.

All four of my children were welcome to come in and sleep in our room if they felt they needed to. If one of them came in and climbed up in-between us, their daddy wouldn't even wake up!! I would ALWAYS wake up . . . and then without a word, pull them up close, pull the covers back over us, fling an arm over them, and go right back to sleep. Sometimes, I'd wake in the morning, with one tiny leg draped across my face and another little body stretched across the foot of the bed. In their own sweet time, each child smoothly transitioned to spending all night alone in their "big kid beds". They matured naturally and could handle waking up after a dream or night terror, go to the bathroom, or just go back to sleep on all on their own. ((I discovered early on that if one of my children woke up screaming with a night terror, I could sometimes sleep-walk them to the bathroom & get them to go pee-pee, they would sleep soundly the rest of the night. Perhaps the urge to pee-pee might be a cause of night disturbances in young children just developing potty training skills.))

My daughter, was the earliest to QUIT coming in our room. She hated covers and would kick them off. She would get hot sleeping between us. So, she stopped coming in by age 2 or 2 1/2.

Waking up surrounded by kids are some of my happiest memories from that time of my life. Now, my kids are 23, 21, 18, and 11, and if you ask them about climbing into mommy and daddy's bed, they don't remember. They don't even remember going to DisneyWorld at age 5 & age 3.

Listen to me now: They will be teenagers soon enough. Teenagers squirm when you try to hug them. You're gonna' miss these days when they wanted to snuggle. : )

She may be seeking attention from you. If your husband works and night and you are putting the little one to bed she may feel left out. I have 2 girls 7 and 5 and i lay with them at night for 5 minutes. I set a timer and tell them when it goes off i have to go do "mommy" things. Let her stay up until you put the little one down and give her some time with you at night. I know it is easier than it sounds. but see if it is the attention she is seeking from you.

I am a SAHM with a 3 year old daughter and a 15 month old son. My daughter is doing the same thing. She is having trouble wanting to sleep in her own bed. The trouble is that she has started having dreams and doesn't understand that they are not real. To her, it is very scary because she thinks that whatever she is dreaming has really happened. That could be what is going on with your little girl. We have had to explain the best we could to a 3 year old what dreams are and that they are not real. We just have to pray over her every night and remind her that she is okay and that Mommy and Daddy will keep checking on her. She seems to take comfort in that and also, we leave a night light on for her until she is sound asleep. I also like to play some soothing lullabies on her cd player to help calm her down. They are some songs that I learned in church as a little girl. One other thing that we do is let her watch a Veggie Tales movie. The best one for that situation is titled "Where's God When I'm S-Scared?". Not only does it help to calm her down, but we're also teaching her about God. I also like to talk to my daughter about her dreams so that I can understand what is making her so afraid. One last thing that we've had to do is re-evaluate what it is that we are watching or what she is watching on t.v. that could be causing some of these dreams. I hope this helps. Good luck and take care. You are in my prayers.

My son did this and we put a gate up blocking him in his room and it worked for us. The only advice that I think works best is to be consistent. Everytime she gets in your bed - get up and put her back in her bed whether she cries or not - you might have to get floor fans so she doesn't wake up your 1 year old. She will eventually figure it out. Good luck.

Hi. I have a 3 year old son and every now and then he will do the same thing, only thing is that i have noticed he dosent do it all the time. We have to understand this transition is still new to them but with time and patience it will go away. Like you said your husband works at night so if your daughter does want to sleep with you let her so you won't have to deal with all the fighting and screaming. And in the morning explain to her then that she is becoming a big girl and big girls have to sleep in their own bed. And in the long run its all just a phase. I hope things get better for you.