Help! My 7 Year Keyed My Car!!!

Ouch! I've raised 3 daughters and have one more coming up. They ALL go through phases of writing on walls, scratching their names in things etc. One of my kids scratched her initials all over her new bed. Yeah, we were mad. But the car!! UGH.

I do agree with the other poster that seems to have subtly suggested that she should be supervised more closely. How did she get that much unsupervised time around the car? Is the car kept in an indoor garage or outside? I don't believe any child should ever be allowed outside without direct supervision. There is just too many dangers. And did she use a key or a rock? I hope she didn't actually have the key. A lot of kids have actually started the car and ended up driving it into a tree or something else.

Suzi

Yikes, that sounds like a tough one! First off, I would advise to really figure out why your daughter did it...if it is like she said and it was "innocent" or if she was truly being defiant. Now of course I follow that statement up with a 7 year old probably would know better, but still, you have to balance the consequence with the crime. Really, my only advice is to figure out a way that she can help you repair the car. Physical labor is always a good consequence!;)

Also, look into the Love and Logic series by Jim Fay and Foster Cline, it will give you lots of tips to help with issues like this!

I am guessing that from what you described your dd was just using 7 year old impulsiveness...She wanted people to know it was yours. (HAve you by chance been labeling school supplies and such?)

Of course that doesn't make it right or reduce the damage to your car.

Maybe in this case you can take two pronged approach- talk with her about ways to 'label' things that don't 'damage' them. (maybe after you get the car repaired/discpline her, you can let her use window paint to write mom's car ---or just show her cars where other people do that--- show her personalized plates that other people buy etc. Explaining that the owner of the car makes those choices)

I think maybe with the damage part - perhaps you could take her to a shop where they do those repairs----let them make an estimate on your car (though at 7 she probably still has a limited view of what money is etc.)I wonder if there is a video that shows all the work that goes into those sorts of repairs...

The other thing (and this will punish you a bit too) is that maybe her 'discipline' should include something along the lines of 'mommy needs to keep a closer watch on you so that you don't make poor choices' - and then not allow her to play when not directly supervised.

It does sound like she didn't do it as a mean, spiteful thing. Even so, she needs to understand that we must pay for mistakes we make, and sometimes it's costly.
I definitely agree with previous contributors that said she needs to help pay to repair the damages by doing things to earn money and every time she wants something beyond a need, she needs to be reminded that she's still paying for damage to the car.
Take her to listen to the estimate for the professional job on the car. (In the meantime, fix with a do-it-yourself kit so it doesn't rust.) Save the money she's earned to pay for the professional job and let her know each week how much she still needs.
She would certainly never do that to your car again or anyone else's. She will also teach her children to respect other people's property.

My kids colored the back of the house when they were young and they had to wash it off, they spent hours trying to get it off, it got the point across, they never tried it again.
I'd probably have her make an attempt to fix her mistake by using the rubbing compound the other poster suggested. Maybe make her wash the car.

I think the best punishment would be to constantly remind her that what she did will cost money to fix. Anytime she asks for anything tell her that you need the money to fix your car that she damaged. I think it would be a great lesson and the perfect way to demonstrate that her actions have consequences. Expensive consequences.

It does not sound like she did this with malice. So I would not think to punish as I would lecture her. Yes she does need to be held accountable. Perhaps her helping an adult wash the car and let her have the area she damaged as a reminder for several weeks. I would really explain to her if this was someone elses car you would be paying for her act. Let her know you cannot allow her to act this careless and ask her what the punishment should be.

Take a picture... cuz, someday you will laugh about it.
I would use a lesson to develope character, responsiblity, integrity,and knowlege. Now it sounds like her heart was not to hurt you. She is 7 she could clean out and vaccuum the car for the amount, close, or agreed amount of the damage. This could be months of doing this chore. But it's not bad age to learn the value of a dollar. Let's face it you could spend at $5-$10 a month cleaning out your car. I would show her on paper and think of other jobs she could do for the cost of the damage.
Easy fix- western auto should have a nail polish like paint that may help the area not rust and come close to the color of your car. With the money you save having you daughter clean out the car find a Magnet with MOM on it.lol
Enjoy this time and age... it goes fast.

About me- Mother of 2... son 17 and daughter 13. Married for 21 years. I have a good relationship with both my son and daughter.

Depending on how deep it is you need rubbing compound. It can be found at any auto store. Don't use the paints from the dealer or it will actually be more obvious. After using rubbing compound you can usually find waxes that match your paint. I am sure you will still be able to see some of it but no one else will. As long as you supervise your daughter can do the work. It will show her the amount of work involved with correcting her mistake. It doesn't seem as if she intended to hurt you but I am sure she feels she has hurt you. This would explain why she does not seem to care about her punishment. (she is just taking her lumps) By fixing the car she will feel like she has fixed the car and made her mom happy.

You're not alone...My twin cousins kept their clothes apart when they were little with x and o written on them. After a while they thought that was their name so they scraped x's and o's all over their parents van with rocks. They were about 5 at the time so their mother made them sit and write their x or o 50or 100 times instead of playing. That was just horrible to them because they were made to write instead of playing...but they remember it to this day and haven't picked up a rock arounda car since and they're 18 years old.

Hi C.!

What I have done that has been workable for my children in these situations is actually having her work to make up the damage.

With my children, got them to understand the concept of what exchange is. Your family works to earn money, that money is used to have the home you have, the cars, food, clothing, movies, toys..... When she does something that is destructive - causes damage to what you as a family have - it takes away from other things that the family needs.

Since she did the damage - she needs to take responsibility for her actions and not a PUNISHMENT but she needs to step up and contribute back to the family and make up the damage. Then as a family you work out what it is that she can do that will make up the damage. It costs ______ to fix the car. She can take out the trash, wash the neighbor's cars for money.. whatever she can do to contribute back.

It worked for my children and they are now teenagers and work hard as a part of the family unit and appreciate all that is given to them and that they earn.

All the best,
K. Lee
____@____.com

Hi there my husband is a body repair man and this is what he said to try:

A quick simple fix would be to go to your local parts store (O'Reilly's, Auto Zone, etc.) and get some color match polish. It is not a guarantee fix but it at least might help and it is the cheapest suggestion he has!

Good luck!

Usually, a car dealership will have a little tube of your paint that you can touch up with. If not, I have heard of guys even using nail polish to hide scratches.

Good luck!
S.