Help My 5Yr Old Little Boy Has an Attitude for Everything

I agree with Stephanie. Determine what his 'currency' is and deny him of it. Start with two days. 2 days of no TV, or bike riding or game boy or whatever. And add a day with each ensuing infraction.

I just read an article recently that said that by the time the kids are 12 and 13 if you see this type of behaviour - the parenting is over. For the most part, I agree with that. And the point here is that you have to get this under control now. So keep on trying. Be persistent and the hardest of all - follow through. do not threaten. DO!

State the consequences clearly. give a warning. One warning. and then if he does not comply - go right to the consequences.

Good luck - and hang tough!

I can so identify with you. My gr son who I am raising is this way since starting school. It is a boy thing and a 5 yr old thing. He is asserting his independence and acting like kids on the bus and school, trying to find his place.
I took mine off the bus. He is too young to be around older kids and conversations w/o adult supervision. he was also exposed to the hitting etc and it was affecting his confidence and security. They are only 5 for gosh sakes. They still need to be protected and taught how to handle new situations and peers and they need to learn it from us.
I also took everything w/ high fructose corn syrup out of his diet. That was a real good choice.
We sat down and had a 'friend" talk. I explained family as a team. We need to work as a team. You don't talk ugly to friends or family because then they don't want to be your friend or play with you. Let him help you load the dishwasher or some little thing and then thank him for being a team member.
Look him in the eye when you talk to him and make him look you in the eyes as well. Explain that looking someone in the eyes is showing respect and as long as you respect him, he should respect you. If he refuses then he needs to stand with his nose on the door and look at it for 5 minutes. Set a timer and then get on his eye level and start over. when you reach your frustration peak, ask him who he likes looking at the best, the door or the Mom who cooks.
You might also talk to his teacher and get some input. Enlist her help. When mine wouldn't quit jumping and running in the house, I asked his teacher in front of him if she allowed it in the classroom. Of course she said No never in a building and chided him for it. It took 2 weeks but he is getting there.
Some of the whiny and bratty real fast stuff may be he is hungry. They play so hard all day and they need to eat more often. He should be getting ready for a growth spurt and needs more calories. When he gets that way offer him a snack of fruit and a cookie.
Above all, he needs lots of praise and reassurance from you. Males are more insecure than females. Since he is a follower, you need to make the time to teach him character traits that are admirable as well as those which are not. This way, he may be able to choose his pals wisely. You can use books or a character on tv and if the character tells a lie for example...you say "oh no! I thought he was a nice friend." I have taught mine if someone will lie to you they will lie about you. So make sure he chooses friends who don't lie because..he might need that friend to tell the truth someday. You can adapt this in different ways. A bully on tv is a great conversation opener to find out if he is being bullied and to explain that bullies aren't very nice or respectful.
One thing I have learned about males...they are not like us and the difference shows up early.

What I am about to say is so unfair to the daddys who work all day and have to come home and discipline--but both of my kids react better to him. I can handle them to a point, but when they hear him saying you better respect your mom or whatever he is saying to them, it seems to have a little better effect. I hate it bc he doesn't have to see the reasons he is getting on to them (mostly my 3 yr old daughter) but when I say --ok well when daddy gets home you can answer to him, it seems to do the trick. Sometimes you gotta try different things and just see what works. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

My son is 5 also and was acting out somewhat too. He was REALLY whiny all the time, acted frustrated, gave me attitude. Lately it has really gotten somewhat better. Spankings weren't working at all with him either. The one thing we found that really seemed to make an impact, was denying him something he really enjoyed. When he would act out, whine, etc we would be grounded from his video games. He really has just gotten into playing them, and he was grounded for a week from them by my hubby, and boy did that make a difference in his attitude! He also gets $4-5/ week allowance, and the allowance is denied for acting out as well. Both of those things have seemed to work well recently. My other problem is I was giving in too much (he is my only baby) I had to work on sticking to my guns. Hang in there and stand your ground!

Aunt J had some great advice. I also wanted to add that some of his behavior may be as simple as a food or chemical allergy. I have seen kids behavior totally shift by removing certain foods, chemicals, or medications from their environment, i.e. corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, a particular allergy medication, etc. Here is a link to Dr. Rapps' website. She has some great books on the subject.

http://drrapp.com/about.htm

Hope this helps!

Also noticed that you are looking for full-time income that will allow you to have quality family time. I'd love to talk to you about that if you are interested.

P. Healey
Wellness & Success Coach

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Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

I would try and figure out his stress and help give him a way to cope with it. Maybe he is over scheduled just by all the activities going on and he doesnt get enough down time. Most importantly I wouldnt keep score with him have you ever heard of the story where the father nailed a nail in a fence post every time his son did something wrong and at the end of a month the post was full and the little boy was very sad. His father then told him evertime he did something good he would take a nail out. At the end of the month they went back to look at the empty fence post and there was nothing but empty holes. The father said he was proud and the little boy cried saying yes but look at all the scars. The point is find out what is going on in his little mind and let him know that you love him and want to help him. Give him examples of what are appropriate ways to act in certain situations and then make sure you and your husband are following the same guidlines. Sometime these social skills need to be taught especially if he is a follower..Good luck