I've been breastfeeding my third child successfully the past year, and decided to go beyond a year this time since I'm a stay at home mom. My first two kids naturally weaned themselves by a year and I didn't push it as I did this time, with continual offerings, hoping the'd continue. I just let them gradually wean off. But this time, whenever my son might have pushed me away, I continued to offer and he would yield and take the breast and to my joy, he continued happily breastfeeding at least 3 - 4 times a day, sometimes more like if he was cranky, I'd put him on the breast. First feeding in the morning and last at night before bed were staples except tonight! BOO HOO! I'm now getting engorged from a full day, from morning until night of CONTINUED REJECTIONS. I must have tried 10 times(maybe not 10- stopped counting. maybe 5, 6?) and every time, he was not interested, pushing me away!! I'm so so sad! I don't mind weaning, but I do mind COLD TURKEY like this. Should I pump? I think I will tonight since he's skipped so many feedings and in case he changes his mind tomorrow. I'm also in pain right now as I'm totally engorged! Meanwhile, he, who normally sleeps great is waking and crying (but again won't breastfeed). Don't know why he's waking, crying. Have you been in the position? Please give me your feedback!
Thank you to all of you moms for your support and suggestions. First of all, I take precautions and am definitely NOT pregnant- I have my plate full with three, a cat and a dog. Besides, he never even sucked so he wasn't rejecting my milk. He gets upset with me, fusses, cries, as soon as I put him lying down in the nursing position. He does not want to be in that position and is not interested standing still to breastfeed. But I've been pumping the last few days, and he's happy to drink my breastmilk in his sippy cup. LOVES his sippy cup and drinks from it, carrying it around all day. I spoke to a lactation consultant/nurse at my hospital who told me that he's probably an active boy, like moving around all day and is ready to move on. Totally true! So although I was sad, it's time. He's still happy to do lots of cuddling, holding, and we have lots of fun. I did take him my his Ped yesturday to rule out ear infection. He does not have one, as I suspected, but does have molars coming in which are what's been bothering him and his sleep lately. I've been giving him something cold which helps, but he's generally a great, litte boy so I have no complaints. Will just wean off of pumping in the coming days. Now, my hubby and I can go away for a night without the kids! Thanks again!
He may be telling you he is done..
Try pumping, but offer him the breast in the morning.. You cannot force him if he is ready to stop.. 10 times is a lot of times..
I had a friend who had to stop cold because she was put on medication. She used a pump, less every day (don't recall for how long), just to stay sane. I hope you're comfortable soon. Congrats on managing to continue BF for so long!
At 15 months he should be using a cup. Connie
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All three of my kids went cold turkey. Consider yourself lucky, my girlfriend has been trying to wean for a year with no luck. I wouldn't pump if you can avoid it, even if you are fearing that your son will want to nurse again don't worry, you will be able to get your milk supply back for a week or two. Just let your son be, he may just be done.
As far as the sleeping thing, it is just an adjustment and he may just be getting hungry. Try giving him something to eat before bedtime and see if that holds him over.
Good luck!
My son was just like that.
He'd shriek, SLAP my boobs away, turn his head and said NO!
He was real explicit about it.
He weaned himself, at about 1 year old.
It was not anything else like illness, teething, nor ears nor anything. He just DID NOT want to nurse, anymore.
But your son is waking/crying.. he MAY have an ear infection... or coming down with something...
Or teething.
Both my kids, 'rejected' nursing, when teething.
all the best,
Susan
My daughter did the same thing at 15 months and I was devastated. I kept pumping for 3 weeks, but at the end of the day it was natures way of saying it's time to move on. I put her to bed with nothing (just rocked her for 10 minutes) and she went right to sleep and still does 5 months later. Good luck- weelicious.com
He could be getting sick or getting an ear infection. The sucking can make the pain of an ear infection worse. The fact that he's pushing you away *and* fussy says something is making him not happy.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html
There are some wonderful ideas on this website for nursing strikes to take a look at.
Make sure he's not got anything physically wrong with him as well.
You should relieve some of that engorgment or you might end up with plugged ducts or infections. Either pump or hand express enough to make yourself feel better.
I hope it's just temporary. Best of luck!
Some kids stop nursing cold turkey. It really isn't that big of a deal-I can understand being disappointed but he is old enough to stop. If you want him to continue having breastmilk then pump and offer it to him in a bottle or sippy cup.
As for the waking: is he teething? He could be getting a cold. He could have had a bad dream. There are a lot of reasons why babies wake up crying.
GL!
Really sounds like an ear infection to me! Every time my same age daughter wakes repeatedly crying and won't suck, that's what it's been. The sucking hurts their ears. Meanwhile, make sure you pump so you don't get mastitis!
I would have his ears checked ASAP.
It might also be a change in YOU. I have heard babies don't like the taste of the hormone changes in the milk if mom gets pregnant. Is there any chance of that?
Either way, definitely pump and keep it in case it is temporary. (He may take it in a sippy - especially if it is his ears and it hurts to suck!) If it is permanent, you still need the relief!
First off ,a few questions... are you pregnant? Is he cutting teeth? Does he show signs of being sick or an ear infection?
If no to all of those, then its a nursing strike. Just keep offering, he will come back. Also your supply, at this point, will be just fine. your body is so used to making milk that it will adjust, its a pro!
He can of course take a cup as kind of rudely suggested below, but nursing is absolutely the best for him, especially this time of year during cold and flu season! Congratulations mom for working so hard at nursing your kids! But just keep offering, he will come back, nursing strikes are common and they pass quickly.
PUMPPPP!!!!!! Oh my gosh. I had the same thing with my son and was so engorged I thought i was in some sort of B horror film and my breasts would explode killing everyone in the tri-state area!! I like you was sad but also relieved that he was doing it on his own and not the other way around. I was so afraid that I'd have to push him away. I made the mistake of not pumping after a week or so because I realized that he wasn't going to nurse anymore and ended up with mastitis so bad i was actually sick in bed. I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually been sick enough to stay in bed!! My son would take breast milk from the bottle so I did continue to pump until my milk supply gradually went away. I did find other ways to bond with my son. That bond can't be replaced. There is nothing like being able to provide everything he needs from your own body.
I believe (and my ped too) that my son stopped nursing at 9 months because of a severe amount of fluid in one ear causing ear infections that later caused him hearing loss and required surgery. The reason he felt the ear issues were the problem is because he was essentially on his back or side to nurse and with the bottle he was more upright. He would also cry when I'd put him down to change his diaper and sleep almost never happened. He cried so much and was up and down every hour. You might go to your ped to see if there is any physical issue going on. Most likely he's just becoming an independent little guy but if there is something going on with his ears catching it early makes a big difference. My son was dealing with severe pain for months and I didn't know. Talk about feeling like a horrible mommy!!
It's not what I would expect given that he's been nursing up till now quite happily. To the person who said he should be on a cup--I'm sorry, but that is just wrong. Of course he can take a cup, with juice or water, but there is no "should" about quitting breastfeeding at this point. It's very healthy and good for both baby and mama to continue well into toddlerhood.
I think it's more likely, given that he is crying and not sleeping well, that he is actually hungry and would like to nurse, but there is something acute bothering him. An ear infection, as others have suggested, would cause him pain if he leans back into the normal nursing position. You might try seeing if he can nurse while upright--sitting on your lap or some other way of trying that feels comfortable. But even if he won't nurse like that, don't rule out an ear infection. If you can remember the last time you had one, it can make your ears feel full, "pop", it can make you dizzy, or it can hurt--so it still may be the problem. The very best thing I've found for them, by the way, is NOT antibiotics, which can set up a whole cycle of more and more resistant ear infections (the primary reason many babies end up with tubes in their ears is this cycle). The best thing I have found is a combination of Nutribiotic grapefruit seed extract oil blended half and half with warmed olive oil--a little organic garlic mashed in the oil as it warms helps with the pain. You can use a little eyedropper to put it in his ear as you hold him to you, then rub it gently around the outside of the ear around the glands as well. Hold him in that position on one side for a minute or so, then, using a clean towel or blanket to keep it from leaking all over you, turn his head to the other side and repeat on the other ear. Takes a couple of days and all better.
Another possibility, as someone else suggested, is that perhaps your milk has a different flavor from some very strong food or hormonal change.
This is called a nursing strike - not weaning. Weaning happens gradually and without cold-turkey style rejection; a nursing strike seems to come out of nowhere and often makes the baby as unhappy as the mom.
The best thing you can do for your relationship right now is spend lots of time skin-to-skin cuddling. Don't pressure him to take the breast, just be available with your shirt off. Baths together are great, as is time cuddling skin to skin while your baby falls asleep. Often babies on nursing strikes will nurse when they're falling asleep or even fully sleeping.
Taking him to the ped to get his ears checked is a very good idea, as ear infections often lead to nursing strikes. Pumping to avoid engorgement is key - you don't want to end up with a plugged duct or mastitis!
Good luck!
there are several things this might mean: he might just be done nursing OR he just might be on a nursing strike and will pick up soon. I have not had this problem, my DD nursed all the time until VERY reciently and now at 20 mo is just nursing 1-2 times a day. you could pump a bit out just to make yourself feel better, nothing wrong w/ that. you can dump it, I hate doing that, or mix it in his food so he gets it, or give it to him in a cup. Just pump enough to feel better as you dont want to mess w/ supply and demand as you might already know that. also take a hot shower and apply heat and that will help. you can lastly contact your local LLL as they are great for support. let me know if there is anything else I can offer you for help! xo keep up the good job!
When my daughter was about the same age, she did just that, and cried all night long as well! Come to find out, she had a double ear infection and the lying down to nurse hurt her, so she pushed away so she could sit upright! With meds, the infections cleared up and she continued to nurse happily!! Good luck!!
