Help!! I'm Hurting and Don't Know What to Do.

Updated on September 02, 2008
C.A. asks from Albany, OR
16 answers

I am just about to go into my fourteenth week with my third child. With my other two I had discomforts but nothing like this. My appetite fluctuates like crazy and if I eat a bite more than I can handle I feel sick for hours. When I wake up in the morning I have pain across my back like my kidneys are hurting, and all my joints hurt like I slept totally wrong. I've barely started showing, and this is making my partner feel pretty rejected. We're used to sleeping cuddled up, but I just can't seem to. Any suggestions on both how I can somehow alleviate some of this constant pain or how I can soothe and explain to my partner that it's not him? Thanks!!

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So What Happened?

Hi everyone~

Thanks for all your responses and support. I just got a call from my doctor and I have a bladder infection as well as a "back-up" problem. I have received some minor antibiotics and a natural prenatal with a stool softener built into it. Also (laughs here) I am not anemic and have no iron problem - just the opposite! I have stellar iron levels and with the contributing iron in the prenatal it was causing some overload problems.

As for my sweetie- we had a heart to heart. After talking with the doctor I have a body pillow and he I spend some time in the afternoon cuddling. We've also loaded up on the fruits and veggies and have started a walking regimen. Thanks everyone! You triggered the useful dialog that has me feeling great again!

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C.,

I went through the same thing this pregnancy. I had pain in the same places and my hips were so bad some days I was limping in agony. With pain across your back like it's your kidney's, they may be overloaded like mine were. I really recommend seeing a nutritionist. Unfortunately doctors rarely take a single nutrition class! If it is your kidneys, then you may want to be pickier about what you're eating.

I stopped eating anything with gluten, dairy and meat while I was going through this. You still get lots of protein from fruits and veggies (actually it's not the protein that you need it's the amino acids that are the building blocks of life). If you're concerned about protein intake, pick up hemp seed protein powder and add it to a morning smoothie.

Within a week of cutting these things out I was sooo much better. It's amazing how much food affects us. Dairy and meat also take a lot for our bodies to process, which is slowed down by being pregnant. Also meat and dairy, especially non-organic, is filled with so many toxins that would weigh your kidneys down with extra work.

I know it may seem difficult to cut out breads and pastas, but try it for 2 weeks and see how you feel. If you need a recommendation for a nutritionist, let me know and I'll give you her contact info.

Oh... and now I'm 19 weeks and doing great! I'm able to exercise everyday, stuffing my face (with veggies and fruit of course!), and my skin is starting to glow. Though I'm not showing yet either, but we both will soon enough!

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A.D.

answers from Corvallis on

I'm on board with Juanita; pillows, lots of them. They will help support you and keep your back aligned. The pillow between the knees helps to take presure off the spine.
As far as your bed buddy is concerned... honesty is the best policy. (who knows, you might even score some nice back/shoulder rubs from him) :-) Promise to cuddle for a while and then get your pillows and get some quality sleep, cause it sounds like you need it to keep up with your active life.
Happy Sleeping!

2 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

C.,

If it were me I'd be making and appointment with my OB/GYN immediately. That kind of pain and discomfort doesn't sound good or healthy to me.

As for your hubby just talk with him about how uncomfortable you are right now and try to find things that he'll be able to relate to. i.e.: Remember when you smashed your thumb with the hammer? That's how I feel all over my body/in my back/whatever right now when we cuddle in bed. Guys are pretty physical and need these physical comparisons to understand what we're going through. Just keep talking and communicating with him. That should help tremendously.

You could also give him small hugs throughout the day when you're not hurting as much.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Some joint pain is normal. Since it sounds like more than a little and more issues involved, please talk with your OB.
Can you exercise or at least stretch? I know both of those help with joint pain, at least I don't feel as stiff.
I am currently pregnant and don't always want to cuddle with my husband. First be honest if it is too much that night, but sometimes we cuddle until he falls asleep (usually quick for him) then I roll away to get more comfortable and often this means putting a pillow between my knees or under your belly as it gets bigger.

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M.T.

answers from Seattle on

Acupuncture is a godsend to many with pregnancy-related symptoms. There are acupressure points down the midline of the scalp that can get the whole spine to relax and stop hurting instantly. After acupuncture you'll feel relaxed like you've had a massage, but the feeling lasts longer, and it's more effective for the pain. I do, and many acupuncturists do craniosacral while you are resting with acupuncture. That's even better in some cases.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

I would agree that you should talk to your health care provider about this.
However, since this is your third, it might just be your body being much faster to respond to the hormones of pregnancy. They relax the ligaments and joints in your entire body, leading to strain on your muscles.
Given that your healthcare provider finds nothing serious, maybe you can get a prescription for prenatal massages and start exercising (prenatal yoga or swimming may help).
My sis had 4 kids and for her the aches and pains associated with pregnancy where earlier and stronger with each baby.

Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Yakima on

C.-
I know exactly what you are going through. With my 8 and 6 year olds, I loved being pregnant. I had no dicomforts whatsoever. I am now 32 weeks along with my 3rd and I am having discomforts and pains that I never had before with my other 2 pregnancies. My little guy seems to push his feet right into my ribs and keep them there no matter what. Plus I get pains in my hips and upper thighs that feels like I had just run a mile or two. My pains started around the same time that yours are. I found that sleeping with extra pillows under your head and in between your legs helps a bit. Also sleep on your side. This discomfort has also affected my sex drive, which doesn't seem to be like it was before. Is this what you are experiencing as well? Talk openly to your partner about this, so he knows it isn't his fault. Just let him know that it wasn't and isn't anything that he did. See if there are other ways that are more comfortable for you to cuddle together. Good Luck!!
~A. H

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L.J.

answers from Portland on

All of these pains are normal for pregnancy and they vary from baby to baby with one woman too. I had serious pains in my back for a few days, I could barely walk and then we found out I had kidney stones. It's worth calling your nurse/doctor about if it's unbareable.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

If you haven't already talked with your doctor, I strongly recommend that you do so now.

This could be "normal" symptoms of pregnancy but what you describe can also be symptoms of serious illness.

It sounds like you're "starving students." At least that's what we called ourselves when I was your age. If you have no insurance you can make an appointment at a county clinic. Their charges are on a sliding fee schedul. Depending on where you go to school they may have a clinic you could go to. It's more difficult to get on the Oregon Health Plan but if you're not already on it you could apply. However I wouldn't wait to get accepted or not. Your symptoms could indicate you need immediate care.

My daughter was on the Oregon Health plan when she was a student. She was treated well by all the doctors/staff.

See a doctor right away! Or at the very least call and talk to a nurse on a medical health line. MOst hospitals provide that service free of charge to anyone.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

I'd also encourage you to go to a chiropractor and/or craniosacral therapist. Also it sounds like maybe it would be helpful for you to cut back on some of your workload for now - your body may be telling you you're doing way too much. Early pregnancy is a good time to relax more and take the time to nurture yourself. But do get some good exercise that you enjoy. A prenatal yoga class or belly dance class could be helpful, and stretching on your own, whatever feels right. Also experiment with different pillows, maybe a harder bed surface or pad on the floor. Hopefully your partner can help out more, and/or you could hire someone. Also I'd suggest really paying close attention to what you're eating, really tuning into your body's signals of what you need. As far as communicating with your partner - I guess this is a big change for him since he's never been with you when you're pregnant (you could talk with him about what his experience was when his previous partner was pregnant, this may be bringing up unresolved feelings for him from that time as well). And of course once the baby is born there will be even bigger changes in your relationship as you breastfeed and sleep with your baby, and your needs for cuddling and sex will likely decrease during that time - so this time during your pregnancy is an opportunity for him to learn to be able to accept and understand and empathize with you, helping to prepare for the further changes that will come after the birth. I'd suggest also including him in the pregnancy, encouraging him to talk with the baby, massage your belly (and other areas) gently if that feels good to you, go to prenatal classes together, be close during the birthing. Maybe he needs more reassurance of your love for him, which you could make a special effort to provide for him in ways other than cuddling at night.

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T.J.

answers from Portland on

So glad you went to the doctor and got an answer! Bladder and kidney infections are common in pregnancy because as the pregnancy progresses, each kidney lengthens and the ureters elongate, widen and become higher and more curved, WHICH CAUSES changes in the function of them and things don't process as well which can lead to infection and the possibility or kidney stones causing the back pain. Gestational diabetes is also a concern. This along with the hormonal changes can lead to the fluctuating appetite and bloating. Hopefully the overall joint pain will lesson in the 2nd trimester as you hormones continue to change. Relaxin can be felt as early as 10 weeks causing extreme joint and connective tissue pain. Glad to hear you are walking as this is the time you need to maintain and build abdominal strength to support your growing tummy.

Good luck,

T.

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

It sounds like you might have an autoimmune problem. Go see a naturopath who has disciplines in more than one area. Preferably one recommended by someone you know. You may be having digestive problems that require digestive enzymes and immune problems that are causing your pain, which can be linked to digestive problems, or you may have developed a food allergy you didn't have when not pregnant (this has happened to me too). You need to be checked for what is ailing you for sure. You may also be B12 deficient, which can cause nausea and weakness as well as iron deficient. For me B12 and Iron deficiency are usually hand-in-hand. Thank God for B12 shots!

Again, you can't be sure untill you go to a naturopath. In my experience MDs were not helpful with any of my symptoms which were similar to yours. They just had me on anti-depressents and antacids instead of finding what the real problem was.

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T.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,
Have you seen a doctor or midwife about your situation? I would recommend it. Although it does sound like you have a lot of stress in your life and you might benefit from a prenatal yoga class. This energetically will help relieve some aches and pains in the joints and your body. I know there are a lot of great teachers in town. If you live in North Portland or somewhere near to North Portland I teach a Monday night prenatal class from 5:30-7 at Yoga Shala N. Williams. If you don't live near here I can recommend some other great teachers in town.
Reassure your sweetie that you love him.
Good luck!
T.

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G.S.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,
I think you need to talk to your OB. It sounds like you might have more going on than just pregnancy pains.

Take care1

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J.L.

answers from Portland on

I'm pregnant with my first, and have the same symptoms. Same eating issue (although that was more in the 1st & 2nd trimester), and the pain. I'm 33 weeks, and it gets worse every day. The hip & pelvic bone pain is the worst - it's rare that I can sleep through the night without getting up for a couple hours, and yes, I have been using a comfort-u pregnancy pillow. I do prenatal yoga, and have had a pregnancy massage, but neither really helps. Combine that with the fact that I have gestational diabetes... I can't believe some people call being pregnant a "magical" time. There's no way they could have all the symptoms I have and call this time, along with eating this stupid no-carb diet, "magical." Lucky ones. This is torture, every day & every night, and I don't know if I could ever endure this again. I'm persisting, with everything that's supposed to be good for me - yoga, stretching, walking my jogging route, along with sticking to the stupid diet - but I don't know that it really does any good. All I know is I can't wait for this time to be over so I can be able to drink orange juice, eat bread, pancakes, pasta, fruit, etc.
As for your partner, just be as clear as possible what sort of torture you're going through... he should understand.

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

I was just reading your thank you note and it's great that you are feeling great again. I would suggest that you write down all the different medications and antibotics that they put you on. I had to take some stuff with my first son and it's still coming up today during different doctor appointments. Anyhow, good luck

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