Hi Moms, I know I brought this on myself (with the help of my husband) but I have created a bed monster. Our daughter is 17mo and sleeps in our bed at night, but I think it is messing her sleep up. She tosses and turns, and any time we get in or out of bed she wakes up. I would like help transfer or start moving her to her own room/crib. I can't really handle the CIO method, it breaks my heart. (again I am a wimp i know) Any suggestions on moving her out of my bed. I don't mind making it a slow progression ,but I would like to start working on it. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
THANK YOU!!
We co-slept with my son for a while. He now sleeps in his own room in his own bed. He sleeps on a twin bed that is on the floor, not on a box spring. This way, I can snuggle with him a little before he falls asleep, and if I fall asleep, it's comfortable for me also. It's a nice compromise, and it eases the transition.
I have read so many sleep books, I can't remember which one this was from, but start with sleeping on the floor of your room with her. Then move the floor bed away from your bed until it is on the other side of the room. Have occasional "sleep-overs" in her room all the while. Start with her and when she is asleep, choose to stay or go back to your bed.
From your room, move her bed further and further from your room until it is in her room.... 17 months old is hard for the CIO method - dont feel bad!
(Sorry this is so short... my 17 month old is waking up from his nap...)
Try having her nap in her room and having quiet time in her room. You can stay and read a book to help her understand it is ok to be in there.
Good luck!
I agree with the previous poster that the way to start is to get her into her own bed...in your room. She's never slept alone, so this in itself will be a big project! Good luck!
We did a modified Super Nanny/CIO - baby went in his crib and I pulled the love seat over next to it and one of us slept on the love seat, next to the crib, holding his hand. He had a crib at the time where the side went down, so we were able to kind of angle it. He would cry, we would soothe and pat and be right next to him almost all night long. Then we moved the love seat out and made up a pallet on the floor with a fouton mattress and blankets. Still soothing and patting through the crib bars. Then we got rid of the mattress and just sat next to him on the floor next to the crib, then we started moving farther and farther away from the crib toward the door. Then we were able to stand in the hallway and watch TV while he was in his crib, then finally we were able to just walk out and talk to him from the other room if he called out. OH the crazy things one does for love!
The key was that he didn't know where his bed was, meaning the safe sleep space that was his own, where he could sleep without interference, he didn't know how to fall asleep on his own, because we had been bothering him, waking him up even more - then it was compounded because we took over soothing him, without giving him a chance to figure out how to soothe himself. Did he cry during this time - A LOT. But he did learn to fall asleep on his own.
Give the new Ferber book a read, it may clarify for you just exactly what is the CIO method - that is really the wrong name for it, by the way. It is like giving your child vaccinations - painful in the short run, but oh so essential in the long run.
Good luck!
Don't be so hard on yourself! We co-slept with our eldest until he was 5! And he was a bed-monster at that age too. Right now, I am sleeping with a new baby, and husband isn't ready to stop co-sleeping with our toddler!
So we have 3 kids in 3 beds, but Mom & Dad are in 2 of those beds!
(Just so you know, it is NOT just you! : )
I just realized that other than that, I have pretty much the same suggestion as ClimberMaMa below. Good luck!
i was also in this same position with my son and i got to the point where i just couldn't take it any more. my son was getting all the sllep in the world and i wasn't. so what i did was started with naps. his crib was in my room but that was o.k. with me. I would rock him to sleep in my arms and as soon as he switched to second gear( don't try to put them in there in first gear because they will wake right back up) i would put him in the crib. he would sleep for about ten minutes and wake up so i would rock him to sleep again and put him right back in there. each time he would sleep a little longer. after he would stay there for about 30 minutes i would then let him cry it out. so once he figured out that he would take his nap in the crib ( it took about a month...be patient) i started working on night time sleeping. and went about it the same way. and finally after about 2 and half months he was in his crib and i got some sleep!!!! it may take you a little longer or it may go quicker, if you decide to take this course. but it;s best that you start trying something soon. my son if four now and when i do let him nap with me he knows it;s a treat! good luck!
Yes you may be like others but it doesn't make it right or ok...sooo glad to hear you are ready to make the right moves now. I'm passionate about this because this is where marital/intimacy problems begin. While you may feel connected with your husband through your baby, bedtime is for you two to connect on different levels.
I saw this technique on the Nanny:
http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Your-toddler/-/Toddler...
Have you tried it? It might be a lot easier than you think. Talk with her about it during the day, not near bed time, then remind her as you brush teeth. Don't make a big deal out of it, but do praise her for being a big girl now. Rock her to sleep or lie down with her for a bit until she is very sleepy or asleep and then go.
It might be time for a big girl bed...our little one was the same way at 18mos - tossing and turning like a clock...we got her a big girl bed and it made a world of difference. She wasnt thrilled about it at first, but I started a sticker chart for her...for every night she slept in her "big girl bed" she got a sticker...after three weeks she earned a prize that she got to pick out. We havent had a problem since. I still lay down with her at night for a bedtime story and song - that also helped in the transition - knowing she wasnt alone. Good Luck!
I consulted w/ a sleep expert and it takes '3' days for a baby/toddler to readjust to a new schedule/routine. Solid, sleep is sooooo important to babies and toddlers so I would start right away if it's disrupting their sleep. Go to www.3daysleepsolution.com and get her video (she is also available by phone for consultations). You will have your baby sleeping 12hrs/night in NO TIME - seriously!! I have been to many of her workshops and have seen parents who are ready to lose it and within three days, they AND their babies have been completely changed! Not only is the baby sleeping great but the parents are too. Good luck! :)
I know that there are a million books about sleep out there. I recommend the Babywhisperer for Toddlers book. It isn't cry-it-out but there are lots of strategies. It isn't just a sleep book either, but your dd is too old for the other book.
Another post said to start with her on your floor and gradually move the bed. I think that depending on your dd you can move faster. Does she like her room? Will she fall asleep in the crib if you are in there with her? You have to be strong and stick to whatever you decide. If you want her to sleep all night in her crib then you have to find a way to get her to stay in there at night. I would guess you'll be sleeping on her floor for a while, but if you keep at it, you will get there.
You are not a wimp. People get so passionate about topics like this, and it seems silly. As long as it works for you, then great. But it seems like you are ready to make a change.
Good luck!
I agree with Climbermama, too. Gradual steps will minimize stress for both of you. Her own room will eventually feel like a nice extension of "her" territory if you treat it like a place you like to be in, too.
