Help Getting Daughter to Sleep.

Hi L.

GEtting your kids to sleep is sooo hard! No one ever told me, while I was pregnant, how hard it is.

Kids don't know how to sleep on their own - we need to teach them. I think you need to put Alexia to sleep while she's drowsy but awake - and she needs to fall asleep on her own - without you holding her. Babies wake up again and again throughout the night - and Alexia needs to learn how to sooth herself to sleep without you. I would do a couple of things: put her in her crib and say "good night" and start a bedtime ritual (I walk my son around and say good night to things in his room - ending with saying good night to 'mama') - she'll start to cry when you leave. Let her cry for 5 minutes...then go in and put her back down in her crib and say "good night" and walk out again...wait 10 minutes - and repeat until she's asleep. There's an awesome book describing this method by Marc Weisbluth - you should check it out.

When my son was 12 month-ish, he went to bed at 7pm...maybe she's a little over-tired going to sleep so late? I have no idea what your nap schedule is but it's just something to consider.

GOOD LUCK! YOU CAN DO IT!

Hi L.~
I think Melissa hit it right on with the bedtime being too late. You would be surprised at how hard it is for an overtired infant to sleep sound. She shouldn't need a nighttime feeding, either, so the water might be a winner, too! I think it's just going to take a few nights of buckling down and showing her you mean business when it comes to bedtime. It won't take long. Although I don't like to make babies cry it out, there is a difference btwn crying and fussing to manipulate mom! lol
Good luck...stick to your guns!!
~L.

I am by no means an expert at putting babies to bed. I have my own issues with my 14 month old!

Maybe she is waking up at 1 because she gets a bottle. What if you stop feeding her at 1am? Someone was just telling me that their son would wake up in the middle of the night for a bottle. Her ped told her to stop giving him the bottle. After a few nights, he stopped waking up in the middle of the night.

I wish I could help you with the hold them to sleep thing. But, my daughter will only fall asleep with me holding her (yeah, I know how bad this is). I’ve tired the “cry it out” method. She will cry until she throws up. Even with me checking on her and soothing her every 5/10 minutes. That went on for several days before I couldn’t take it any more. She would get so worked up that it would take hours to get her to sleep. I guess we do what works for us.

Also, I have heard that an overtired baby will not sleep as well. And that at this age, most babies still need two naps.

Good luck!

Hi L. -

I know too well the struggles of getting a little one to sleep! Just some thoughts that come to mind (that helped us out!)....you might want to try shifting her bedtime up. I read a few books on sleep that mentioned many babies wake in the middle of the night b/c they go to bed too late and get a bit overtired. You can try shifting it in 20 minute increments until you find a time that works for you both. So they say, the ideal bedtime for a little one that age is b/t 6 - 8pm. Sounds crazy....but my little one (8 mos) goes down b/t 6:30-7 and it is awful for my husband b/c he doens't see him much. But, he just can't stay up any later or he gets so fussy and overtired.

Another thing you might try is switching her milk to water during the night. Once she realizes that it is just water, she may not wake for it anymore. I have never tried it, but I hear it works! Or you can try going in and consoling her without the bottle - console her just until she is calm and then leave the room. Repeat until she falls asleep on her own.

I've noticed that if I hold my son past the point of calm and amlost drifting off to sleep, he will cry if I put him down. But, if I soothe him just until I see his eyelids are heavy and then put him down he finishes falling asleep much easier. Sometimes I think if you hold them too long, they fall "almost" asleep and when you lay them down you really wake them up. So maybe try putting her down a bit sooner?

Hope this helps and that you are getting your much needed ZZZ's soon!

There is a lot of wisdom in the messages already posted. I'd just like to ad an amen to the comment "there is a big difference between crying and crying it out". My son will often fuss and sometimes cry but it is more of an objection to going to sleep than anything. If he really belts it out like he is scared I'll go back in his room after a few minutes and try something else. This usually only happens now if he is teething or overtired.

BTW I used some of the methods recommend in the book no-cry sleep solution. I found that the most obvious thing of getting into a regular schedule was the very thing we needed. It took six weeks at the very least to form the new much improved sleep habits but it took eleven months to form the old habits of constant waking and only sleeping with mommy. It was gentler than making him cry himself to sleep and I think it has improved the quality of his sleep.

Hi L.,
I agree with Melissa and Lacy. My almost 20 month old goes to be a 7 and sleeps until 7. If he goes to be later he is harder to get to sleep. He will cry and fuss more. I also find he wakes up during the night. I have 2 boys and learned with the first one, you should take the bottle away after her first birthday. With my first one I felt bad taking it away and he had it until about 19 or 20 months. I ended up putting water in it when he would wake up during the night. It took 2 nights before he didn't want it anymore and put himself back to sleep. With my second child I took the bottle away at his first birthday and he didn't even care. It was SO much easier at this age compared to almost 2. Good luck. It will be harder for you then her probably.
Chris