Help for Child with ADD

I am going to say something that others may find to be totally off, but I almost think it is easier for boys to have this condition because to some degree they already have more impulsivity. My son has ADD, I always suspected that his "little boy behavior" was actually something more than that, but just dealt with it at home with behavioral controls. I'd only had experience with girls prior to his birth, and so didn't know for sure what to expect, only that it was TOTALLY different from his sisters behaviors.

But at around age 9 we actually had to get a diagnosis for his continued success in school. Things are harder for him in many ways, yet he perseveres and is making A's and B's. He's mostly got friends who are boys, and a few girls.

Socially, things are just different for boys.

I think that your daughter has friends. The boys she hangs out with at lunch qualify, she's young yet. Maybe girls and all the weird cliques and social intricacies are just boring to her. Boys are much more straightforward about stuff, and often do more interesting things.(Tomboy behaviors can be outgrown eventually, I used to be one and I hated playing with girls.)
So she doesn't play with dolls, or jacks, or want to wear dresses....she still is learning social skills when she is hanging out with the boys.
I made friends with other girls through sports. Maybe see if she likes to play any. By the time I was in Middle School, I still hated the stupid social strata that girls had, but I had some friends who were girls.
My mother wished I wanted to play dolls, and wear pretty dresses like her friends' daughters. I'd rather be climbing trees, and looking for frogs in the ditches. Give her some room to grow.

You sound almost guilty about putting your child on meds. If she were diabetic would you keep her from getting insulin? ADD is a disease. Don't keep your child from the drugs if needed.

Hello there!
Your daughter sounds similiar to my almost 8 year old son. We recently put him on two homeopathic medications by the manufacturer Vaxa. They are Extress and Attend. My son also has ADHD and an anxiety disorder as well as Central Auditory Processing Disorder. I did not hold out much hope for these products to work because I had been disappointed before. He also had social problems. To my surprise, we have noticed a marked improvement in his ability to maintain attention at school, and in his ability to control his impulsivity and overactive motor drive. Once he slowed down his thought process, he was able to be educated (by me) on social cues, body language, personal boundaries and appropriate behavior. His social abilities have greatly improved and he is now enjoying overnights and more social play. The best part is the Vaxa products have no adverse side effects (my son had horrible sight effects to everything we had tried him on) and the product comes in capsules that can easily be opened and poured into a milk shake or smoothie. The taste is not detectable. He still takes a very small dose of Vyvanse, but it amounts to a quarter of a 15 mg capsule once per day. He is happier and more confident and he has a momentum going and it continues to get better and better. Let me know if you have any questions. By the way, I would not spend a dime on any behavior management programs. It is too much work and time. Once she is controlled on the proper medication you can teach her yourself how to socialize properly with others through role play. School will improve by itself when she is properly managed on meds as well. Keep your expectations realistic for both and be patient. I strongly recommend the Vaxa products, they changed our life.

Hi S. - I am a 2nd grade teacher with a student that sounds just like your daughter (but he is a boy). The only difference is that his parents will not put him on medication. His mom is looking into the same computer program that you were talking about. She is having our speech pathologist compare that program that she recommended with the 1500 dollar one. The computer program our speech pathologist was talking about was only 150 dollars. Maybe that is something you could check into as well. Much cheaper!

I can only imagine how stressful your situation is. I'm sure once your daughter's working memory improves her impulsivity and attention will improve as well. Knowledge is power. Educate the educators (which I'm sure you have done). My student just got diagnosed and we only have two weeks of school left. Understanding what goes through his head helps me realize what is beyond his control. I wish I would have known this all along. Good luck to you. Being a single mom on top of all of this can't be easy. I hope things get better for you. Hang in there! Happy Mother's Day

A.

My son has ADHD and we use a combination of techniques which have been a great help. He goes to St. Louis Behavioral Institute and sees a psychiatrist who prescribes Vyvanse and also sees a behavioral therapist there. We make sure he has a multi-vitamin and fish oil caplets with at least 1,000 mg of DHA and EPA every morning with a good breakfast that will sustain him through until lunch (avoid sugary cereals). Make sure that the fish oil does not contain Vitamin A or D as you can overdose on that if given to much. Your child should be getting enough of those vitamins through diet, the multi-vitamin, and through sunshine which should be at least 15 minutes a day. We noticed that when our son comes off of the Vyvanse for a day or at night after it wears off he craves a lot of sugary foods. He is also much more hungry than he is throughout the day. We try to avoid the sugar but we are not always successful. We enrolled our son in lots of extra curricular activities which introduced him to other kids his age both in and outside of his school. Try enrolling your daughter in girl scouts (juniors?), karate, softball, soccer, etc. It will help them burn off energy but the interaction is what is key. The more peer socializing they do outside of a strict school setting the more they will learn to pick up social queues. I became an assistant den leader for my son so that I could observe him interacting with the other children and correct his behavior without the other children noticing I was doing it. I don't have to do it near as often as he is learning social cues on his own now. I have heard of modifying the diet to remove preservatives, glutton and casein but have not tried it as it is so restrictive to the rest of the family's diet. There are also software programs out there that are supposed to improve memory and focus but they have received mixed reviews. Good Luck!

S.,

I cried when I read your letter. When I read about the social problem, I am there. My son has a social prob. and just last night he told me some things that are going on that just broke my heart. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 3. He went down a long road and I tried to put him on meds but that only sped him up. He is 14 now, I often wish there was something out there that could help these kids socially. My son started having social problems in kindergarten. My heart aches for him, as you do for your daughter. He is bullied now at school, I call the principal a lot. The only thing is, when he was ignored at a young age, it caused him to try real hard to be liked and instead, it made him stick out like a sore thumb. He just doesn't know what to do. He is old enough now to understand, but just can't figure it out. We have talks all the time. He over compensates. Try to find a mom that has a 9 year old girl, talk to the mom about your concern and see if she would allow her daughter to socialize with her. Where both of you can observe. You can talk to her about the time she has spent. Say things like, that was nice when friend did this and you did that. ect.... you have to find a mom that will understand. My son does not have siblings, you do. This should help her somewhat. Has she gone to the same school the whole time? I wish I could do something for you, I know exactly how you feel. I am still dealing with it. God be with you. I truly hope things turn out for her and yourself. You are a really good mom. She knows you love her. Continue searching.
Happy Mothers Day you deserve it.

DE

Good Morning-

What is a description of SPD?

I work with children with the exact same issues as your daughter. I am a case manager for children that are diagnosed SED (severely emotionally disturbed). These things include anxiety disorders, ADD, ADHD, ODD, poor social functioning, etc. I suggest getting your daughter in to see a therapist at an organization that provides Community Based Services. The therapist will set your child up with a case manager that will meet with her one on one to work on her personal issues. These services can be very effective. Let me know if you have further questions. Hope this helps!
--S.

S.,

I would strongly suggest having her metabolically tested. I feel it is so important to make sure the little body is working properly. My 5 yr old son is autistic.He was diagnosed at AR Children's Hospital & before we left the office that day we were told to put him on meds. Now I am not running down meds in any way its just that there could be an underlying issue (allergy, malabsorbtion, etc,) that does not show up in an regular eval. This would test her urine, stool, & blood. There are tons of things that can be tested with such a test. As it turned out for us, my son was allergic to milk (not noticable in any way) , which was causing him to not absorb anything (good things that would be helping him out in a number of ways mentally, which effect his learning & behavior) but calories basically. As we have corrected that there have been other things that can now show, like once he was absorbing certain things his body was having trouble doing so & it was making enough of certain enzymes or good bacteria on its own so until it can we can give him a natural supplement to put that in his body. It is a long process but it is so important to have the body working properly. Sorry this is hard to follow just please consider. You would not regret it. You might have to get a referral from her ped. Good luck & hang in there!

My heart really goes out to you. Have you ever asked your therapist about a support group for you & your daughter. There's plenty of children in all age groups that are being affected by/with ADHD. I'm not fond of the medication myself but it zapped my son like a zombie & he had sooooo much energy when he wasn't on it, so I took him off after trying two. EACH child is different & I commend you on what you've already done & continue to do for your daughter. You keep trying the different method's that you feel within your heart might work for her. Pray about your situations & know that prayer does change things. My son out grew his for the most of it & he still has problems (23) from time to time satying focused on things that doesn't mean a lot to him BUT let me tell you if it is of interest to him....then NOTHINGF can take his mind off of it, so I said that to you because she just might need to find something that's of interest to her. As for being friends with the boys...even though she might be tiny...she could be a tom boy & just like what the boys do...I sure did for twelve years...my parents thought that I'd never out grow it:-)! Boys tend to have more fun then girls at her age. Don't take her out of her element that she's use to because that could hurt her more in the long run, it's okay at least she has FRIENDS. You worry when she can't relate to anyone at all. I know how it is to be single & trying to raise children & you go girl because these dead beat parents think that their hurting us & are really only making the children go without a few things. WE as mother's will make a way for our children & we can develope strenghth out of no where to ensure that our children have. Men are the weakest creatures that God made & He made us because we are strong & resourceful....they (men) still don't have a clue! I learned early on that we can't make them do nothing that they don't want to do & sometimes the law can't either...I just gave my dead beat to God & moved forward & til this very day he still wish he had me in his life & try to get girls that are like me but he can't because I'm no girl, I'm a well grown mature woman of God & without Him I would be nothing. You keep pressing on my sister & have faith in God that He will supply ALL of your needs & your childrens needs as well as your desires of the heart. Your a wonderful mom, good luck & God Bless!

I'm saving all the advice you've been given. My 13 y/o daughter is ADD, very smart, but has problems with social skills. My 11 y/o son is ADHD.. and very smart. I'm a single mom, have been since my son was a baby, and their dad isn't at all supportive. Basicly they just wear me out!! I live near wichita and have heard of Dr. Romerein.. but can't afford the up front payment thing. the public school my kids go to just don't seem to 'get' the whole add thing and won't make any adjustments at all- basicly they need to conform or they're punished in some way.. no recess, in school suspension.. I've taken then to therapist- with the intent of help with the social skills part, but they therapist start concentrating on the relationship with their dad.. or not really addressing the social part. My daughter goes and all the therapist sees is that she is getting good grades, so assumes everything is just fine! Meanwhile, she also gets left out of sleepovers and parties (she's in 8th grade). she pretends it doesn't matter, but it breaks my heart to know she's excluded. If I could home school I would.. but I have to work- 8ish to 6ish.. and regular overtime. If there are ANY public schools in the surrounding Wichita area, I would LOVE to know about them!! My kids have been on Adderall XR for several years, and it helps.. but doesn't 'fix' everything. just a band-aid. I would love to find an ADD PARENTS group, but haven't heard of any around here. Maybe I just need to post my own request for info in the area?
Is heartspring a good place to take ADD and ADHD kids?
thanks for your post and all the other answers!

Hi, lool into nutrition. A bad diet can cause these similar behaviors. It took my son a while but I started only cooking healthy meals and he would not eat but they will start to try new healthy things if that is all you allow and then with a little time they will grow to love healthy food and that will change her behavior in amazing degrees. And look into www.Manatech.com and orthomolecularproducts.com fantastic supplements for kids that my natural/homeopathic doctor recommended and it taste great. Perfect for kids and made for kids. And put her in a sport or gymnastics that she can burn energy and get interaction with girls working on the same activity. And the more you talk and have a good relationship with her the more she will learn how she should speak to others. So, keep up the good work. I can see your a very caring and protective mother. Thank God for mothers who care this much for their kids.

Hi S. my children are still young and I can't imagin the feeling of going threw what you are experiencing with your daughter and not making friends. I fear that with my daughter going into kindergarten and we don't at this point have an issue with ADD or ADHD. I wanted to offer you my product and information I have on feeding your daughter all natural products that are proven to help in children with ADD and ADHD. Additives, perservatives and food dyes all play a major part in hyperactivity not only in children but adults as well, taking these out of our diets can help tremendously. I sell Wildtree and our complete line has NO perservatives, dyes, additives, caking agents, MSG's or Peanuts(for those with this allergy). We carry a line of products that you would use on a daily basis from taco seasoning to pancake mix. Please check out my website and please dont hesitate to call or email if you have any questions www.stacyflynn.mywildtree.com. If you can change even 50% of your food to all natural it would be a start in the right direction for you and your family. good luck

My child also has ADD and Vyvanse has been a life saver. It is heart breaking to watch your child not have friends and not be invited places. We have tried behavior role playing and have tried to model for our son how to handle situations. He is now 12 and has made a lot of progress. We continually have to advise him how to act socially with his peers and his siblings, but he is making a lot of progress and he has had a great year at school. Kati

Have you looked onto a gluten free and casein free diet? I just read an article the other day on how diet effects children with autism and ADHD. It was in a magazine at HyVee in the Health Food section, and the article is called The Nutrition Link. I know this isn't new news, but the article was interesting. It discussed the link between symptoms of children with autism and ADHD and their diet. They suggested avoiding additives, preservatives, and artificial colors, which can exacerbate symptoms for some children. Eliminating trans fats and going organic were also suggested, because the trans fats found in processed and fried foods intensifies toxic accumulation and cell function problems for children with autism and ADHD. Eating organic foods limits pesticide and chemical exposure.

It talked about giving children with autism and ADHD supplements too, because their bodies often lack certain vitamins and minerals. It suggested:
Vit. C -reduces harmful oxidants in the body and helps even out levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter commonly out of balance in children with autism and ADHD.
Essential Fatty Acids (EFA's) -like Omega 3's (DHA and EPA) boost brain development and function, and are often low in children with autism and ADHD.
Magnesium -crucial to protecting the body from heavy-metal overload, it is often low in children with behavioral, cognitive, and mood disorders. Deficiency can cause depression, poor appetite, and muscle spasms.
Zinc -vital for proper cognitive function, it is typically deficient in children with autism and boosts immunity and improves taste function.
Source from Kenneth Bock, MD, author of Healing the New Childhood Epidemics (Ballantine, 2007).

Some resources listed in the article included:
-autism.com -Although she is not autistic, this site offers info on the gluten free, casien free diet, which could help her as well.
-The Kid-Friendly ADHD and Autism Cookbook (Fair Winds, 2006)
-Healing the New Childhood Epidemics (Ballantine, 2007) by Kenneth Bock

Maybe you could ask your ped. to check her levels of those crucial vitamins and minerals listed earlier and see if any are low. I would definitely ask her ped. before going on any supplements. If he is unwilling to discuss this aspect with you, you should get a second opinion. Ask a ped. to recommend a good nutritionist that specializes in this area to help you figure out a new nutrition plan to try for a month or two and see if you see any results. To get results, you would have to be pretty consistent. But, I think it could make a huge difference.

I'm not suggesting this in place of meds, but it could help in addition to them.

Let me know if you would like me to send you a copy of the article. It is really interesting and tells exactly how the food children eat effects their behavior.
Best wishes, C.

I just wanted to give you kudos!!! My son was recently dx with ADHD. That can be a handful to deal with, along with all of lifes other surprises.