Help-should Ten Month Old Be Sleeping Through the Night?

My suggestion would be to let her sooth herself to sleep when she wakes up at night. Maybe put some lulaby music on for her. It may take a couple of night for her, but she will learn that you are not going to come and get her EVERY time she cries. It's good for a baby to cry every now and then. Let her.

Like you, I didn't let my little ones cry. I see nothing wrong with being there for them. Besides, they won't be little forever, enjoy them! Have you tried a pacifier? Sounds like that may help if she'll take it.

Hi! I'm sorry this may not be very encouraging, but my 17 month old daughter still only sleeps through the night on occasion. I nursed her until she was 14 months, and she was still wanting to nurse at night too. I think it was about the same time (10 months) that I finally said "enough!". What I did was started to stretch out the time between feedings. She was nursing 3 times a night, so I took it down to two. If she woke up before it was time to nurse (which she did often) I would go in to rock or comfort her without nursing. She also took a binki, so that helped. Any way, eventually we worked our way down to 1 and then no feedings at night. I would make sure and give her a snack right before bed when we stopped nursing at night. It may take a while before you start getting more sleep, especially if you are soft like me and can't stand to let them cry! Just remember, she really isn't hungry, even if she seems so, she just needs the comfort to fall asleep. Good luck!

If you would let her cry then she wouldn't be getting up so many times at night to eat. I would feed her and then do your evening routine and put her to bed. If she knows that you'll get up every time she cries then she'll continue in that pattern until you do something different. It's okay to let her cry for awhile. I have a 4 girls and they all slept through the night at 8 weeks. Be consistent and she'll respond.

HI A.,
I feel your pain. My daughter, 6 months old, was sleeping well then came the teeth, a cold, an ear infection lead to nearly hourly waking... I am now using suggestions found in "No Cry Sleep Solution" and the Dr. Sears Sleep Book with excellent results so far. I would strongly encourage you to look into gentle parenting methods to get your baby to sleep without resorting to abandoning her to cry.
You sound like a very loving mother and you know your daughter best. I wish the best for both of you in getting more sleep!
A.

if she is normal weight, she should be sleeping through the night. my daughter was similar to what you are describing and my daughter is definitely healthy weight-wise. the only menthod i've tried that works is the cry out. they learn pretty quickly that they aren't going to get whatever it is they want. there are other methods and it's not easy, but that's the only one that worked for us. good luck!

Hi A.-
Sounds like you have a little girl who was like my son...love to nurse especially at night! My daughter was easy, but my son was still waking up around 10 months to nurse. Once during the middle, then around 5 or so but then he would always go back to sleep. So it was only twice for me and I know I was tired so I can only imagine you are very tired! Opinions vary, I am more open to letting them cry sometimes but I do think she is nursing too much and only using it as her soother. Do you get her the second she starts crying? If so, you are teaching her that she needs you to fall back asleep and the older she gets, the harder it will be. One of the things we tried, although it was hard, was letting my husband get up in the middle of the night to get him. It helped because he started to know he wasn't going to get to nurse just because he woke up. It was also hard because he really didn't want anything else but to nurse or at the very least lay with me! We tried ALL of the soothing methods without much luck...he would fall asleep with rocking, patting back or whatever else but the SECOND we laid him in his crib he would wake up immediately! So, I say this with caution because I know people feel one way or the other, we had to do some crying it out. It was horrible and we hated it, but it worked for us. I wouldn't have had such an issue with the other soothing options if he would of stayed asleep with them. I'm guessing that since you don't let her cry at all, this might not be your choice. I've talked with so many of my other friends who are moms and have friends with similar stories and it was the same...letting them cry it out. My son is almost 2 now and goes to bed for naps and bedtime by himself and sleeps all the way through. My one other recommendation is to talk with your pediatrician. They really have some good advice (at least mine does). I really wish you the best of luck and hope you find what works best for both of you so you can get some sleep!

I've noticed with all three of mine that, if they are/were in bed with me, they'll keep waking up to nurse (for short periods, like yours). With my one year old, I finally decided to bite the bullet and sit up in the chair to nurse her and then put her back to bed. This was at about 9 or 10 months. It soon became a one-time-per-night feeding. After that, we worked on just rocking her back to sleep. That took only three rough nights and now she sleeps through. It's tough to sit up when you're tired, but if you can commit to a short time of "night duty," you'll sleep well soon enough!

Don't worry A., this too shall pass :) I finally had enough of the EVERY HOUR nursing my 13 month old son became accustom to... I let him sleep with me for a year (he's my 3rd) for survival and when I finally moved him to the crib in his brothers room, I put my ipod in and slept on the couch. It was the first time in his entire young life he slept through the night!!! I woke up every hour of course. What ever works for you is best; if you need more sleep than try moving her out of your room, they smell you. My son was eating steak and still wanted to nurse all the time. I am now trying to wean him completely as I've made the choice/mistake of nursing him to sleep (almost 15 months now). Enjoy your beautiful girl, mine is 4 now... the days are slow but the years go fast!

I feel your pain. I too have a little girl who woke up multiple times during the night. The Pedi told me at 6 months she should be sleeping 8 hours without a feeding, which was far from what was happening. Around 7 months I made a few changes. I read one of the many sleep books and modified it because I hated to hear my baby cry. I would go in her room and comfort her without picking her up, and would repeat that routine in increasing time intervals (go in 5 minutes after she fusses, then go in after 10 minutes...) I would gradually increase that time while decreasing the time I spent in her room. As others have said, she needs to learn to soothe herself to sleep and not use you to do so. I did this for about 3-4 weeks and things improved, but still not great. Around 8 months one night I let her cry without going to save her. She soothed herself and went back to sleep in a few minutes! I prepared for the worst and it was so much better than I imagined. She started to sleep on her tummy. She has great head control and I do not put blankets in her crib, so I let her do it and it has been great. (She now sleeps around 11 hours straight.) I know people have their opinions on that whole other topic, but it worked for us. It took patience, but eventually she will need to be able to fall asleep on her own. good luck

Hi A.,
I too had trouble with getting to have enough sleep because of my daughter's desire to nurse, but after being told by my mother in-law, who had 8 children, to just let her get the exercise she gets from crying, and if that lasts too long to get her a pacifier to suck on. I've done the same with my two boys, my younger one being 5 months, and they were sleeping through the night both by 3 months. I've also noticed a difference between my 3 year old daughter and almost 2 year old son, my son isn't nearly as dependent on me for entertainment, and he started feeding himself at a much earlier age as well. He does also take bed time much easier than my daughter, but we'll see if that lasts much longer. Right now at this time as I'm sitting here typing this, I notice that my daughter begs and begs to get what she wants, right now it's the shirt that she's grown out of and see's her brother wearing and says she wants to wear it that it's hers. It could be her personality too, but i do wonder if things would be different if I would've gotten tough on her sooner, being the right kind of tough makes your kids tough.

Hi A.,

You are being a very loving Mommy, but you probably realize that it isn't working to never let her cry. You'll just wear yourself out and teach her to need company all night long. You didn't say if she is in another room, but that would be best so she doesn't wake you up so quickly. Why don't you try cutting down the number of times you'll get up gradually, and at least let her cry for 5 minutes each time to see if she'll maybe just go back to sleep on her own. I promise she won't be injured for life! My daughter has 4 kids 6 and down to 17 months and they all happily sleep through the night, with exceptions for teething or sickness times. Try to remember that the most loving thing is to train your child to fit into your life too, even as you try to meet their needs. It won't be good for her to have an exhausted Mommy, and not good for Dad either to have an exhausted wife. I'm sure your baby will respond well and you'll be happier if you don't jump up at the baby's first squirm.

L.

A., I loved bringing my son to bed with me. It is a very gentle way to parent. When my son was about the same age he would have marathon nursing nights as well and I felt like a walking zombie. We realized that he was teething and just needed more comfort during that painful time of cutting teeth. Our guy had to fight for everyone one of his pearly whites.

He also had another 4 week marathon of nursing nights when he was 12 months getting his eye teeth. I completely broke down and bought a crib. I was sure that would make us both feel better. He did not sleep one night in that crib!

If you enjoy the routine you have than keep it, and if you are ready for a change than change it up. You know you and your baby best. I chose to keep my son in bed with me because we both loved it and believe me your daughter will not want to sleep with you forever.

You are doing everything right. Babies generally shouldn't be sleeping through the night until they're about 2 years old. Some people do the CIO and make them do it earlier than they're really ready for it. Until they're 2, they are still teething and going through radical growth spurts, both physical and mental. My daughter is almost 15 months, and still wakes up anywhere from 3 times a night (on a good night) to 7-8 times on a bad night. She sleeps with us, and she has never cried more than 10 minutes ever. She is a very happy and independent baby. Very secure. I recently went back to work a few days a week, and she stays with Grandma while I do. She has not had any trouble adjusting to me being gone because she hasn't had any reason for separation anxiety.
I know it can be annoying to be woken up for a tiny snack, so I would suggest doing something else while she nurses to sleep (rocking, rubbing, patting). After she is used to that, then when she wakes up for a feeding, try doing those things first to see if you can get her back to sleep without nursing. Then the next time she wakes up, nurse her. Try doing an every-other-time thing. That way when she nurses, she'll actually be hungry. When my daughter is not eating, I break the latch and do something else to get her back to sleep, and the next time she eats, she really eats. Also take into consideration that she may not be hungry, but just needing comfort from you if she is teething or going through a growth spurt. Don't let anyone talk you into CIO. The only person it benefits is you. Not her. Keep on doing what you're doing, and listen to your intuition. You're doing a great job!

She should be sleeping at least 5-7 hours straight...it sounds like she is becoming dependent on nursing and you should try and get her away from that. You don't have to let her cry it out you can try the other methods...pat her to sleep again in the crib I know there are good books on this I just an not sure of the names.

Yes. You are the one who will love letting her sleep through the night. It's good for her too. Good sleeping habits are important. Find out what works for her and for you. Solids will not hurt her especialy something as simple as the "Gerber" rice cereal. Has she ever has any solids? Becasue she can have them as early as 6 months. Could be a life saver?

Oh my gosh! My baby girl is doing the same thing! What do we do? Help...
R.

The nursing is a comfort thing. She shouldn't need to eat at night. It's up to you when you want to break this habit. Unless you want to go through the night time nursing thing for quite a bit longer there will probably be some crying involved to break the habit. My 13 month old was exactly the same. Finally at 12 months I decided i was done with nursing all night, and I moved him to his crib. There was a few nights of crying. We always went to comfort him after a few minutes of crying, I could never stand to let him go for too long, but we never picked him up and always left him in his crib. Eventually he figured it out and now he mostly sleeps through the night. :) Good luck to you!

hey there. i've totally been where you are. i have a 3 yr old girl, and she still doesn't sleep through the night. she will wake up at least once, grab hold of some part of my body and fall back asleep. she too nursed alot at night. i remember when she was almost one being so extrememly tired - then it stopped. i either got used to the lack of sleep, or she didn't nurse as much. babies change so much. so, it is normal for her to be nursing so much. if she is eating solids, maybe give her a protien snack before bed, but nothing super heavy. and just tell yourself, this too will pass. we sacrifice so much for these little beings so they can be good strong people. does your daughter sleep with you? that could definatley help. i remember not totally waking up when she nursed through the night. however, when she was two, i had endured enough and weaned her night nursing, mainly to get more sleep. i wanted to get to the two year mark, what most doctors and the WHO recommend. she still nurses in the morning, but we are all getting more sleep now. good luck~s

A.,

You need to leave her in her bed and let her sleep. You both are not getting enough sleep because of the sleeping habits you have. By not letting her fuss at all you are also preventing her from learning vital self-soothing techniques. My 13 month old still wakes up at night, but has learned how to put herself back to sleep. As a tuned in parent you will learn quickly the difference between her get-me-out-of-here-I'm-scared cry and the I'm-awake-and-don't-want-to-be-here cry. And all the other fusses she has too.

Some nights it will be hard to listen to her fussing and crying, but she needs to learn how to get herself back to sleep without Mommy. Do you really want her in your bed all night when she's 10 years old or older?

Hope this helps,
Melissa

My boys were sleeping through the nigh before they hit 1 month. Babies really only need middle of the night feeding the first 2 weeks or so, after that going 8 hours will not hurt them. I would stop letting her nurse at night. I expect since you have waited so long to start changing things you will have some difficult nights ahead full of tears as you make her stay in her own bed, but if you can stick with it, in a couple of weeks you will be so glad you did.

i was right there just 4 months ago! i have 15 month old twins and after 11 months of nursing all night long i finally said 'enough!' (my girls' still nurse but not during the night.) i talked with my pediatrician and a lactation specialist and both of them said from about 12 pounds on babies wake up to nurse for the comfort and closeness with mom than needing to be fed. they should be able to go at least 7 hours without food. the first 2 nights of waking up and not feeding were horrible...the crying, the tantrums, seeing mommy but not being able to nurse, the loss of even more sleep for us...but by the 3rd night they were only waking up once and not really crying, just a wimper until they saw me. i'd reasure them and go back to bed.

now, they are sleeping from 8:00 pm until 6:00-7:30 am and doing great. one of the girls is cutting in her one year molars and she has regressed a bit but i just give her some motrin and she goes right back to sleep.

it's unbelievable what a little sleep will do. everyone seems happier in our family now that the girls are sleeping through the night. good luck to you!

Take a look at the "No-Cry Sleep Solution Book" - some great suggestions. Also, I have heard, but haven't read yet, the Baby Whisperer. My child is 7 months and she does the same thing! Whew! It is hard to think about getting up in a chair to nurse her during the night...becuase I am sure that would make me an insomniac!

When my kids were babies, I liked to have a bassinet next to my bed, so that when I was done nursing, I would put the baby in the bassinet. That was to train baby to eventually sleep in her own bed. I would recommend that, to start with, and gently weaning baby off being in bed with you all night.

The nice thing about a bassinet is, you don't have to walk all the way to their rooms in the middle of the night when you're groggy and sleepy, especially when you are feeding often.

My son did the same thing about that age. We co-slept also, I found that he was nursing for comfort not nutritional value. We worked on weening and I also had to do a bit of the cry out method. A lot of mothers were not supportive, they acted like I was doing something wrong since there babies all slept through the night. I know its difficult but its best. You can't spoil a baby past the first six months, but if you don't do something soon it will not end. Thats the best advise I have. We did the cry out method, it only took four days, after that I would feed him and rock him to sleep and put him in the crib. He would go right to sleep and sleep all through the night. Also I used Vanilla rice milk to ween my son, it taste most like breast milk.

Sounds normal to me. Some 10-month-olds sleep longer stretches, some don't. My two woke up several times per night (my daugher every hour, it seemed) for at least the first year, and a couple of times a night until they were 2 or 3 (they are now happy secure adults and sleep with their babies and nurse them several times a night). I know having your sleep interrupted can be hard, but it won't last forever. Please don't listen to the cry-it-out advice! If you have a hard time going back to sleep when she does, or if you think she might be waking up because you move, maybe a bigger bed would help, or some kind of cosleeper arrangement, like another mattress next to yours so that you could easily roll over onto her bed and nurse her back to sleep and then roll back over into your bed and go back to sleep yourself. Are you napping when she does too? If you really aren't getting enough sleep and want to see if you can get her to sleep longer stretches, you could check out the book No-Cry Sleep Solution. Also The Aware Baby has a section about eliminating nighttime nursing (it's a different approach that I don't totally agree with, includes some crying while being held), also How Weaning Happens. I think it's wonderful that you meet her nighttime needs right away and don't let her cry. Keep up the great mothering!

WOW! You need sleep. The best gift you can give your baby girl is her mommy at her best! She does not need to be feeding at night by this age. She needs her sleep as much as you do. She may just want to suck to get back to sleep and not want to eat at all. Try a pacifier. I did not want my kids to be dependant on pacifiers, but it is better than finger sucking because you are in control of when that habit stops. Babies are so oral, she may just need that sucking and that is the only reason she nurses at night. The fact that she doesn't feed for very long tells you that it is not nutrition that she is needing.

Also, I would encourage you to allow your baby to cry. Babies need to cry! It is good excersize and sometimes they need to get rid of extra energy they have, in order to sleep. Another gift you could give your baby is allowing her to learn how to sooth herself. I'm not suggesting that you don't go check on her etc. She may need help with her pacifier, be cold, need changing etc. However, you can tend to her needs, reasure her that she is okay and put her back down. She will sleep better by herself and you most definately will.

Good luck, I know this is a hard time. Babies are so precious and we all want what is best for them. Remember that you need to love her enough to set her up for healthy living wich is sleeping at night and waking in the morning rested. God Bless you!

Each child is unique, some sleep through the night at birth and others never really do. I want to share with my my story, I would be up and at the cribside at the slightest stirring of my baby. I came to realise that I was preventing her from learning healthy sleep habits, namely the ability to put herself back to sleep. I started counting (usually her hollers) before I got out of bed, I was shocked to find that often she would holler a few times and go back to sleep! It took a good month or so to untrain us both from getting up, after that it was only the occational midnight snack. I also wouldnt take her back to bed with me (usually). I think they sleep better in the long run if they are in their own space, and they cant smell the food. Lets face it, if you had your favorite food under your nose youd probubly snack on it all night too! I didnt let her "cry it out" though, She would do that yell cry and I would wait until she was actually starting to get upset before getting up, but never let her get into crying.
FYI my son woke up every 2 hours to eat because he was whey(dairy) intolorant (and got it through my milk. He interpeted his gurgly tummy to be hunger. After cutting out the milk we had to work on retraining to sleep through the night and it took again about a month. Just another thought