Help! Can't Get Newborn to Sleep!

Babywise worked great for me, and yes, at 6 weeks I did let me son cry it out. He was sleeping through the night by 10 weeks. By now, you probably know the pain cry versus the "you just put me down and I'm not happy" cry, so you can respond appropriately. You don't have to follow everything exactly, but it is a great place to start.
It sounds like she has gotten used to you holding her. That isn't a bad thing, and if you can carry her around all day, and choose to, that is fine, but not everyone can do that, or chooses to. You may try warming up the crib with at heating pad before putting her down. Swaddling does wonders. The happiest baby on the block is great for soothing, just don't let her fall totally asleep before putting her down. Babywise also helps you schedule the nap in there. They may not like it at first, or may want to just sleep, but it helps to regulate them, and makes it easier to teach them night from day.
Good luck, and if you have any questions about BabyWise, feel free to contact me.

My little girl was similar in sleep patterns. I did notice that she would sleep while in her car seat, so after fighting it, I just let her take her naps in it and it worked wonders!! I think she liked sitting in a more upright position.... something to think of. Hope you find help!!

I found if I swaddled my daughter while I held her she would not notice when I laid her down. Also try warming her mattress with a heating pad (don't lay her on the heating pad just heat the mattress and remove it before you lay her down). I think she is too young for cry it out at 2 weeks it's not a behavor issue it's a comfort issue.

Don't ler her cry it out, she is so young. Babies are smarter than we give the mcredit for, she knows that sleeping in your arms is preferable to sleping by herself in a crib! If she will sleep better in her bouncy seat just let her do that a while longer, there is really no harm in it. Another idea you may want to consider would be to let her nap in a sling that you wear during the day, then you still have your hands free to do whatever you need to do and she can sleep securely. Even if she does not have reflux she may just be more comfortable sleeping on an incline than flat on her back, you can prop up one end of her matress with pillows UNDER the mattress (never over the matresss!) Or you can buy a foam wedge that fits really snugly in the crib so that there is no room for her to get between the wedge and the side of the crib. I know that some companies sell things specifically for proping up a baby in their crib, but I have never bought any of them so I can not give a good reccomendation. Just remember that waking up 2-3 times a night is not only normal, many babies (including mine when they were little) wake up MORE often! Oh, and I second the idea of learnign infant massage for your baby, there are SO many great benefits! I am a massage therapist and I still massage my 6 and 3 year old children, they love it!

I am not sure if you swaddle your baby but I would recommend doing that. It helps my son to sleep. It will help her feel secure. Good luck in finding what will help you and your baby.

Have you tried swaddling her, and lightly bouncing her? We did that with our boy, and it helped him a lot. Go to your local library and check out the DVD called "Happiest Baby on the Block". It helped us so much! Also, white noise is great for the infants. These are the things that helped our boy when he was an infant. Also, do you have a baby wrap, or perhaps an ergo carrier? These things were wonderful for me and my son. He could be right next to me as much as he wanted, and I could still read a book or take a nap with him snuggled against my chest and belly. I suggest a mei tai (also known as an Asian Baby Carrier). I made one and loved it. If you are in the Thornton area and interested in either of these carriers, I'd be glad to meet you and show them to you. I hope she settles in for you soon. Hang in there!

I'm so sorry! I know how hard lack of sleep is. We did two things with our kids. The book, "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo for a feeding schedule and the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. The second cured our son's colic caused by severe reflux. It worked so well, the reflux went without being diagnosed, even though he's now in need of surgery. GL! I hope you can enjoy the little gal soon with some peace!

You might be too tired to read this ; ) but have you tried Elizabeth Pantleys "no cry sleep method". It might work for you. Every baby is different but it is worth a shot and better than crying it out if it works!

She is too young to let her cry it out. THat doesn't work until they at least 4 months old. And she is still so young waking up every 2 to 3 hours is totally normal at this age. As for the napping try putting her in a swing or just letting her nap in your arms and take a break yourself. And if she sleeps good in the bouncer just keep doing that for now. She won't sleep in there forever and she is too young to start a habit like that so don't worry too much about it. She will sleep in her crib once she gets older.

Hi J. - How was reflux ruled out? Did they do an actual test with a scope or some other test with a pediatric GI specialist? Or was the doctor just ruling it out by her symptoms? I ask because your DD sounds exactly like our son who does have reflux. He doesn't exhibit the "usual" symptoms and in fact rarely spits up. But he has something called "silent reflux" (you can google it) which just makes them very uncomfortable all of the time. The not being able to lie her on her back is very indicative of this. I would try having her sleep on an incline (prop her bassinett or crib) and try to keep her upright for 30 minutes after you feed her (this will help with any GI problem). But if I were you, I might talk to your doctor about at least doing a trial run with some medication. We did Zantac first, which did not work at all, and then finally Prevacid - which took about three weeks of use before we noticed a difference. But then it was a night and day difference. We got our baby back!

Anyhow... good luck, I know how hard it is to have a baby that never sleeps!

I'll second (third?) the Happies Baby on the Block recommendation if you haven't already tried that. There's a DVD if you don't have the time/energy to read the book right now. The swaddling part of it was huge for us. Sorry if I'm preaching to the choir, but it was huge for eliminating the falling (moro) reflex and to keep her from waking herself up. Good luck!

Are you swaddling her when laying her down. How about having her lay in the bouncy chair or in a swing to get some sleep. Some people may argue that doing so can start a bad habit, but it can be changed in the future after you have gotten some sleep and are ready to train her to sleep in the crib.

If you have any questions, be sure to message me. I have 4 kids and have been through many different situations with them.

Make it a GREAT day!

S.

My personal belief is that an infant that young is too young to "cry it out", although that can be an effective method after she is 4-6 months old. There is nothing wrong with holding her all the time. She just needs her mama.

My daughter was the same way, so I'll share my experirence with you, for what it's worth. The ONLY way my daughter would sleep (unless in my arms and attached to my breast) was in her swing. They say not to let a baby sleep overnight in a swing, but honestly it was the only thing that worked for me for the first three months.

Waking up 2-3 times at night is so totally normal for her age as well. I coslept with my daughter, and that allowed me to get some rest and still comfort her when she needed to eat.

She would not nap at all, unless she dozed for a bit during a feeding. I invested in a good quality and comfortable sling. I just strapped her to me and went about my business. She often didn't sleep, but she was where she needed to be and was most happy.

It was hard and tiring, but I believe a happy and contented baby is worth it. Once she was about 5 months old I used the suggestions in the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" which I highly recommend.

I know it's tough right now (especially when you have two other children to take care of), but this time really will pass, so hang in there.

Do what you think is best for your child. I truly believe that a loving mother intuitively knows what's best for her child.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Hi J. - that's really tough. At 6 weeks her digestive tract is still developing. She too young to let her "cry it out" especially since it sounds like a pain issue. It's like being in the hospital and calling the nurse because you're in pain and she never comes. yuck.

Seriously consider taking a baby massage class. Contact a massage therapist, midwife, doula, or your local organic grocery store for good teacher recommendations. My son had lots of digestive pain the first couple of months and baby massage made all the difference. It really helped to mature his system and reduce the pain he was having. Our Doc also prescribed Zantac liquid even though he didnt present with classic reflux. We used it about 6 weeks and this helped him ALOT.

Just a quick question - does she dislike being on her back when she is awake or just when you lay her down for sleep? You might inadvertantly be activating a her newborn startle reflex (Moro reflex). You might also consider the fact that if you are laying her down after nursing, she could dislike the pressure it puts on her full tummy.

Besides "Happiest Baby on the Block", consider "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. It really helped me to learn how to listen to my babies for what they were feeling and how best to comfort them.

Someone recommended "BabyWise" but that book didnt sit well with me at all. I agree more with Tracy Hogg's philosophy that babies have boundaries and are worthy of respect as individuals. I have 2 boys that are very strong-willed individuals even from the beginning and Hogg's methods helped me to learn their temperaments and meet their needs.

As she matures, she will improve. It may be trial and error but finding a baby carrier you can wear that she is comfortable in may help her sleep better and help you keep your hands free.

Have you considered baby wearing at all? A couple of my babies have been that way-ALWAYS wanting to be held, not sleeping anywhere but my arms....it was exhausting until I realized that they needed that "being held" feeling to feel secure. Swaddling didn't do it for those ones. I have used a ring sling, a pouch sling and a wrap (like Moby wrap) and it made a world of difference to have my hands free while still holding my baby. The wrap has been my favorite and seemed to be the most comfortable for both me and baby.

Also, don't be afraid to let her nap in her bouncy seat or swing, you would certainly not be the first mom to let your baby sleep in one of those spots for the first few month. One of mine loved the seat so much that we just kept her in it and then put the seat in the crib for a couple of weeks until she was comfortable in the crib (at which point we started putting just her in the crib-no seat).

At this point she is so young that giving her what she needs will make her more secure when as she gets older. My last "wrap" baby who was worn quite a bit for the first few months of life is now a very happy 11month old who takes great naps in her crib and has slept in there all night long for a number of months. I have found that with my fussier babies, once I am trying to work with THEIR needs instead of trying to make them fit into mine, life is much easier. I know it feels like this stage will last forever and you'll never sleep again, but as I'm sure you noticed with your other two, it goes by more quickly than you expect!

Gripe water, the swing and being wrapped really warm worked for me. My daughter did the same thing for a couple of weeks. Then she started getting a little better and now she actually naps!
Try it out hopefully it will help. Be patient and remember they are only little once.... though I know it is hard when you are sleep deprived LOL!!
S.
oh and speaking of carriers. The ERGO carrier is pretty expensive, but I finally bought a used one and it is by far the best carrier out there!!

Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? I had to eliminate a ton of foods from my diet initially while breastfeeding until my daughter's digestion matured a bit. She was horribly fussy and wanted to be held all the time. She, too, was a horrible sleeper. If you are breastfeeding, I have some diet suggestions. If you are bottle feeding, have you considered looking into switching formulas? I wouldn't let her cry. Infants really need to know that someone is there to love and take care of them. If it is getting to you, ask for some help so you can nap during the day or trade off nights with your hubby. Have you also tried using baby carriers during the day to soothe her? I really feel for you. It must be tough with 2 other girls on top of it!

I've gone through the similar sleep issues with my baby, now 7 months. I actually held him for his naps for a while because that is the only way he could get some sleep, but it's hard to do! We're still working on some things but he is sleeping in a crib now. What has helped us most is a white noise machine, curtains that help keep bright sunlight out of our room (he's in a crib next to our bed), and following the same routine each time he's tired. Swaddling helped too but I stopped doing that when he started rolling. I tried a swing and that didn't seem to help him much, but I know some people have had good luck with them.

A few people have mentioned The No-Cry Sleep Solution and that was a good reference. Also, the 90-minute Baby Sleep Program by Polly Moore was helpful.

Hope you can find some things that will help so you can both get some much-needed rest!

I was going to write what Kimberly did. Those are the best two resources out there.

My daughter was exactly the same. First of all, waking up 2-3 times a night at this age is totally normal (I think someone else said this, too, but it really shouldn't be overlooked). That said, our daughter, too, had a period in which as soon as her head touched the crib mattress, she's wake up and cry (this is after she spent many naps and nights in her bassinett or crib without issue).

A lot of this has already been said, but what worked for us to get us over that stage was:

- Swaddling! We swear by the Miracle Blanket.
- Happiest Baby on the Block.
- Wearing her in a sling throughout much of the day.
- Letting her sleep in her swing/bouncy chair as often and as long as she needed. She even slept swaddled in her bouncy chair for at least a month until we transitioned her to a vibrating bassinet/pack-n-play that we borrowed from my in-laws. Once she was OK with lying flat even after the vibrations turned off, then we transitioned her back to the crib.

I am a mom who has always needed my sleep and so I searched high and low for something that would work with my 3 kids. I think I finally hit on some things that work really well. Each of my kids was sleeping well - day and night - earlier & earlier as I refined the process! Here are my suggestions...
A child this young really is too young to cry it out - I would wait until they are 5-6 months old before trying anything like that. Before they are ready for sleep training however, there are definitely things you can do to help get them ready & encourage good sleeping habits.
Get in a cycle of sleeping, eating, wake time and then sleeping. Feed her as soon as she wakes and then let her have some wake time. Watch for the earliest sign of drowsiness (eye rubbing, yawning or a thousand-mile stare). As soon as you see the first sign, swaddle her (there are some great swaddle blankets these days - check out Babies-R-Us) and lay her in her crib. If she is fussing, don't pick her up. If she starts to cry, go to her & try to soothe her without picking her up. If it doesn't work, pick her up until she is calm again and then try laying her down again. Stay with her with a hand on her back or just touching her in some way. I always just did the minimum intervention to get my babies from full out crying. I wouldn't get her used to swinging, rocking, being held or anything else if you want her to learn to sleep well independently. By the time she is 5-6 months old, you can start sleep training. For that I really recommend reading Ferber's "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems." Your child doesn't have to have sleep problems for this book to be a wonderful resource. I followed his recommendations and they have worked like a charm. I now have 3 kids who have slept through the night & taken great naps since they were 4-7 months old. My daughter is 5 and still naps. I am a believer! I love helping other moms get their kids sleeping well and thereby get great sleep themselves! If you ever have any questions or need suggestions, please feel free to message me. Good luck!

the better she sleeps during the day, the better she will sleep at night. have you tried using a sling? this can create a womblike environment and as you walk around the house or neighborhood gnetle swaying motion that she was used to in the womb. This put my babies to sleep every time. try to get her used to taking a nap/being in the sling for an hour a couple time a day.
have you tried wedging her on her side to sleep? use a rolled up blanket or towel to place against her back and another one for her front. you may have already tried this. just a couple of suggestions. good luck

Have you tried a papason swing? My first daughter had something very similiar and the swing helped a lot! She slept in the swing for naps and the first part of the night, the last part she slept with us. Anyway, over the first two years of her life I tried the crib so many times. Once she cried for 4 hours. It was torture and after that I said forget it! She went from the swing to sleeping with us, to then putting her crib next to our bed, with one side down and sleeping in our room to her own big girl bed. She now sleeps in her own room all night long. Once a week she might wake up with a bad dream, but we have come a long way! Good luck. I know it can be a process.