Well, first off, I must say.....SMART WOMAN! Really! You have made an awesome choice in helping your little one have the best nutrition you can and from what you've told us, it sounds like you are taking the right approach! Just because pedi's say to give the little ones dairy, does not mean it's the healthiest or best choice. My middle child drank goats milk and rice and almond milk and had FAR fewer allergy/sinus/ear infections than my oldest who took formula after 3 mos as a supplement with bfing and milk for a couple months after she turned 1 yr before we finally switched to almond milk when she was about 15 mos old.
The little crisp rice cakes things like quaker oats' rice cakes seemed to be a big hit with my kids. They also make chips out of veggies that are baked and not fried. I would stay away from soy as much as possible as it is well known for causing allergies, as well as excess weight gain that can be very difficult to overcome. (so why do we call it a health food?)There are many organic grahm crakers and other smaller finger foods that you can choose from that larger health food markets tend to stock in sections geared towards younger kiddos. I also remember buying cookies that were sweetened with fruit juice instead of cane sugar or high frcts corn syrup. They had many different flavors and my personal favorite was the oatmeal raisin. If your little one is wanting chocolate milk, the chocolate almond milk is a great choice so long as he doesn't have nut allergies, of course. It does have cane sugar, but I think it is organic and does not have high frcts corn syprup. THere are many gluton free cookies in health food stores you can try and many are sweetened with date paste, i *think.* You just have to try and try and try before finding what you can both agree on, since so many of the natural flavors can be a bit odd to those of us who are used to the processed stuff in our society (guilty as charged).
Don't forget that most health food stores will also have cold-pressed children's vitamins which are packed full of natural sources for the vitamins and minerals their little bodies need, and, since they are cold pressed, the enzymes his body will need to actually USE these nutrients will still be intact.
My kids are climbing all over each other so i hope this made at least SOME sense!