A.,
Good luck! You are doing right in trying to be healthy and, it will work out. For us, we are a family with 4 children. We eat no meat, so we have no cost there. Our major protien sources are lentils and beans (and of course rice and roti with them. Roti is a flat unleavened bread looking similar to pita bread, that we make about every day. We eat a lot of indian food. We buy wheat berries and grind the flour ourselves and use it in any recipe that calls for "flour", even if it calls for white flour, and it works out great for us. We don't even buy bread from the store anymore, and we go through about 50 lbs. of wheat berries every month. The taste of any homemade bread from your own freshly ground flour is so tasty that anything from white flour just doesn't taste "right" to us anymore. We also buy our milk in bulk 25 lb. bags of nonfat regular dry milk, and go through 1 a month, and find it a lot cheaper than anything we can find at the store, and since we are used to the taste, we completely don't even recognize the difference between ours and the store's (except that we like ours better!)
Now, if you already have the equipment, it's pretty cheap to eat that way. But, even if you have to get a grinder at first, it rapidly pays for itself in the cheaper and healthier food than you can find at the store. We only get our fresh fruits and fresh vegetables that we haven't managed to grow (which is most -- I've been terrible at weeding) and peanut butter at the store.
Where to get fresh whole food (i.e. wheat berries)? Locally, I don't know. I think Whole Foods Market carries, but I don't know whether they carry bulk. I do know that Emergency Essentials (www.beprepared.com) carries everything (grinders, whole food like wheat and lentils and lots of other stuff, too). They are based in Utah, and have the best shipping prices I have ever come across. They also have the best customer service I have ever come across and are Very healpful for any questions on their products or even other help. They are great.
I hope this helps! It is possible to feed a big family in a healthy way on a "shoestring" budget, and you are on the right track -- you're trying! Good luck. I'd be happy to help in any way I can.
PS. Roti is flour with a little oil (abt 1 tsp per cup of flour) and a little salt (to taste, we use abt 1 tsp per 3 cups flour), and water (enough to make a nice non-sticky dough, abt 1/3 cup per 1 cup of flour). If the dough is a little sticky, just cover the dough with flour (only a little at a time and knead it in, and repeat if necessary until dough is smooth but not sticky. Then, pinch off a piece, maybe about the size of a golf ball, dip in flour, roll out in a thin circle about as thick as a tortilla, and cook on the heated flat bottom of a pan (a griddle or the bottom of a skillet works well). No oil is needed. While it is cooking, roll out the next one. Let stay on pan until dough begins to dry and small bubbles begin to form in the dough. Flip over. Let stay until (it will be about half the time of the first side) dough dries a little more, and bubbles begin to form again (can pick up occassionally and look at bottom side to be sure it's not burning), when brown spots begin to form at bubble sites, flip over again. Use a clean cloth and press on the roti, and it should pop up. Remove from pan, cook next roti, roll next while cooking, and note that subsequent roti will probably take about 1/2 the time the first took since the pan will be warmed up and you'll begin to have an idea how things go. There should be no sticking unless the pan is too hot, in which case just reduce the heat a little, and adjust as necessary to your pace. The roti should be flexible like a tortilla, but is sometimes nice when hard like a cracker (then it's called bakri). Good luck!