I started watching a 7 month old little boy today. He's adorable, good, and a wonderful little baby, but I have some concerns. His mom told me that they have to force-feed him his bottle and to make sure that he gets at least 4 jars of baby food during the day because he's so small and she's trying to fatten him up. He is a teeny bit small, but he's 16 lbs and looks healthy. He was previously cared for by a lady who watched 11 kids, not including her own. Now, it's just my 3 year old, a 4 year old and him. He cannot roll over yet, crawl, or sit up. I began working with him today on the sitting thing, and he got TONS of attention and will continue. My problem is this... All day he refused his bottle. He took in MAYBE 4 oz of formula from 10am-8pm. I called his mom and she said that as long as he's getting 2 jars of baby food in instead of a bottle, he'd be fine. I'm not ok with that. I fed him 1/2 of a jar of baby food and he puked it all up. I got so worried that I actually straw-dipped him 2 oz of formula since he refused the bottle. His mom is vietnamese and has family worried about his weight if that matters. She doesn't really seem worried, but I am. I love this baby already and want him to be eating. Oh, and he's on Similac sensitive, so I guess she knows that he has an irritated belly. When I told her that he puked, she just said, "Oh, I guess he didn't like the flavor."
How do I bring this up without making her feel bad? It's obviously NOT because he's new. She warned my ahead of time, but I do realize it'll take some time for him to adjust to my environment.
I would stop feeding him the baby food and only offer the formula. If he isn't taking it well with the bottle, try a cup! Just remove the spill proof piece so he doesn't have to suck to get it.
And 16# for 7 months is not too small. Just a little on the small side. But he should be moving around a little on his own when he's on the floor too.....
Okay, I baby sat a child that age, and she had the SAME problems.
AND so, she had, developmental delays and issues... and it did not get better. I babysat her until she was about 2 years old.
She also, by the time she was 6 months old, had to go to the Emergency Room, TWICE, for dehydration. (this is not normal).
Because, she would not or could not, or was not, fed enough.... breastmilk or Formula.
The Mom, would ONLY give me, one 4 oz. bottle of pumped milk, for the ENTIRE day. Then she'd tell me her baby was fine... just a tiny eater.
Duh. That is totally wrong and dysfunctional.
AND her baby, would throw up too.
For no reason.
This baby would also not give hunger cues, as a baby normally does.
This baby was tiny too. But was not premature.
They were just dysfunctional parents. I told them many times, of my concerns and backed it up with factual articles. They didn't do ANYTHING about it.
They took care of their pet dog, better than their own baby.
I almost called CPS.
But while she was in my care, she got attention and as much help as I could do. And I would, give her Formula. Since the Mom, even if I asked, would not give me more bottles of Breastmilk.
Now the fact that that baby you watch, has a Vietnamese Mom... is irrelevant. MANY parents, may think, that whole idea of "we have to fatten up the baby...." kind of mentality. Even in the USA, people still think this way.
Again, the baby does not have normal, intake or eating.
The baby I babysat, was basically malnourished. And if a baby is malnourished and it does not improve, then the developmental delays... becomes almost permanent. Or very hard to turn around.
A baby's primary source of nutrition, for the 1st year of life, per our Pediatrician, is Breastmlk or Formula. NOT solids and NOT other liquids. Solids, does NOT have, as much nutrients nor is as nutrient dense, as Formula or breastmilk.
Their baby is probably so lacking... because he is not fed, adequately.
That is why, he is that way.
They need to get medical, advise.
For the baby I watched, her parents NEVER told their Pediatrician, at all. I would ask them point blank.
AND I saw their child's baby book, from the Doctor... with her weight and growth percentiles. And comments. They kept it in the diaper bag.
If he is refusing the bottle... perhaps he does not even know how to suck? Or he does not know how, to feed? This can also happen.
Or they have given him a hang-up about it.
In any case, this is really... not balanced.
Sadly, the first thing that pops into my head is liability.
I wouldn't worry so much about the sitting/rolling/crawling. And I wouldn't be concerned about 1 day of feeding issues, but I would be VERY concerned about the parents' philosophy. In particular, the part about substituting jarred food for formula.
If the parents continued to have ideas THAT dramatically different from my own, I would have to discontinue care as both a matter of principle and to eliminate my responsibility in any health issues.
You have been watching this child for 1 day. That is not long enough to make an assessment. Also, my husbands family is Vietnamese and they do feed small amounts throughout the whole day. They follow the kids around and feed them bites and give them drinks until they are older (seems to be about 7). I know it seems odd to us, but to each his own, and it's a part of their culture. She is probably concerned about his weight bc of his feeding issues and also because as mothers we always have something we are worrying about.
I wouldn't bring it up per say. Maybe ask if she cares if you try some different bottles or a sippy cup. Or a cup with a straw since he took that from you. At 7 mos. my daughter was on a sippy and could drink from a straw. It's worth a shot.
Give him lots of tummy time. If he has routinely been going to a sitter for 10 hours a day (and she had 11 other kids) he might not of been getting much floor time.
I would give it time, observe him over a couple of weeks, see what is really going on. If you say something now, she may pull him from your care and then all of this is for nothing. Good luck, and kudos to you for caring so much.
drs usually ask about rolling and crawling at that age. and if nothing yet they tell the parents what to do and take it from there. As far as not getting his formula, formula is very important..don't feed him gerber cuz then he won't be hungry for formula, i mean..do feed him right..but way after he's had his formula. write everything down like a diary, date,time , etc etc and maybe by the end of the week each week explain to her or talk to her about different changes and what not. I hate when ppl brush off things like that and not care or think its normal, glad you're his sitter because you sound very concern and worried. God bless you. Maybe he will be somebody you will have to struggle with to make sure he eats right, i'm sure once you get a routine it will be very easy. Maybe the lady with 11 kids didn't give him much attention and then the pattern of not eating much developed. Good luck
It's formula that will make him gain weight, NOT jarred foods!
Wow, this lady is seriously ignoramous!
I don't know how to advise you because I'd be dreadfully frustrated right now.
I think it's inappropriate of her to ask you to treat her child that way. I would also stop giving him the jar foods completely and only give him formula & rice ceral.
was he premature? she should be rolling and semi sitting atleast and maybe crawling.
i would just offer him food through out the day. maybe offer him 2oz of formula and 1/2 a jar of baby food. then a few hours later 2 more ounces. maybe even give him some puffs if you have them.
also is he teething? if so it may bother him to eat. maybe ask his mom if it is ok to give him teething tablets.
i hope this helps
At 7 months it really is ok that he's not rolling over, sitting or crawling. I think it was at about 7 months when my son learned how to roll over. Sitting came maybe a month later, and crawling came at least 2 months later.
I would probably be a little concerned about the eating as well, but give him some time to get comfortable. Many kids won't eat when they situation is so new, especially at such a young age.
Just give him formula for now. Some kids need a little more time adjusting to food. If he seems interested, you could offer him a graham cracker or a biter bisket while he's in the high chair. Those don't have any nutritional value, but they are sweet and might interest him. My older son did great with baby food, but my yougest son pretty much went straight to finger food. He had no iterest in baby food or in being fed. He wanted to do it himself.
Give it some time, and encourage her to talk to her ped if it doesn't get any better.
I would ask her in a kind way if he's seen a pediatrician to rule out a medical reason why this is happening. What if he's lactose intolerant or has something seriously wrong with him.
There IS a reason why he's refusing both solid food and formula, and my guess would be medical related.
Good luck and how wonderful you are to have this level of concern!
I also suggest that you talk with her about seeing a pediatrician. This shouldn't upset her since she's concerned about the weight. It does sound to me that he has some medical or developmental issues. A sensory issue can cause feeding difficulties.
At 7 months he should be getting his primary nutrition from formula. If he's spitting up his formula he may be allergic to it. At the very least he's sensitive to some part of it. Ask her if she's tried any other formulas or been tested for a milk protein allergy or lactose intolerance.
Perhaps the words "force feed" are not meant in the way they sound but if she actually means that you should force him to eat, do NOT do that. Doing so is abusive and could cause you to get into trouble.
It us possible that the baby is reacting to the stress of being with 11 other children, getting insufficient attention, and now being in a new home. I would not become overly concerned for a couple of weeks but if this continues I would insist that she take him to the doctor.
In the meantime, I'd focus on giving him formula. Formula first and then if you want to try baby food but only after he's had enough formula.
Perhaps you could find some info on the Internet related to your concerns or get literature from your own pediatrician to give to this mother.
I would offer only formula and very little bits of solids while he is in your care. Force feeding your OWN child is one thing - which is still horrible - but asking a caregiver to do that same is NOT gonna happen!!
Do you know if the Mom has tried different bottles?? I had to go thru the gamut with both of my kids when it came to bottles. My first was very picky about the nipple itself. She wanted a bigger nipple. Both had issues with choking on nipples that let the milk out too fast. Slow flow nipples aren't that slow!! I think my 2nd would have taken any nipple as long as it didn't come out too fast!
Beyond that she needs to address this with the doctor. Was he breastfed until recently? I've heard of babies who were exclusively breastfed refusing formula when they were weaned. I always supplemented mine with formula so they took both - once I found a bottle they liked!
I really don't know how to approach her about it without her getting upset - especially considering she is Vietnamese. I don't know their customs, etc. I think you are right in being worried, but at the same time it is this lady's baby. I don't know how to go about that part of it all!!
