Headed for a Divorce. Any Suggestions?

I have been through the cycle of catching him with P then him apologizing and promising to never do it again, stopping for awhile, then back at it - cylce continues..... 3 times now.

It wasn't until I went to a divorce attorney ($50 consultation) and told him about it, that he finally decided to get professional help. He's now seeing a therapist who specializes in sexual addiction. He's not looking at P that I know of. It's been almost 3 months.

I don't know if the cycle will start again or not, but I suspect it probably will. Whether it does or not, I am probably going to divorce him anyway. He doesn't know how to show affection and I'm just not into him anymore.

There is an online support group just for people in our situation. I've found it very helpful. Here's the link: http://lightwave.proboards48.com/index.cgi?board=Partners

Hi R.,
I know all about unhappy in marriage. When I got married I thought it was forever but after 11 yrs discovered that if Im unhappy how good can that be for my kids (they were 9 and 5 at the time). My ex was into pron, partying, and his friends more than his family) I was a single parent with a marriage license. I dont' know what you are going thru completely but I can tell you that I have never been happier since the divorce 8 yrs ago. I also realized that to this day my ex thinks of his kids as an after thought and only sees them when the mood suits him. I tried to tell him that if he didn't spend more time with his kids that as they got older they would have less time for him because of their friends and high school. I even tried him to work it out with him and counseling he said he would go but then didn't. After living like that it was the best thing for me. If you want to talk I have great ears. Hope it works out the way you want it to (happy is important to good health)

Hi Ray,

I don't have any advice other than get yourself in that nursing program no matter what. It certainly will get you an out if things do proceed to divorce. Have you tried making an apt for both of you and going with him? Perhaps you and your oldest could go if he refuses. Maybe he will see you mean business and not just giving empty threats. My heart goes out to you and I hope things turn out for the best. I know it has to be hard especially if you are keeping this secret in the family. I have held things in as well and had no one to turn to . Take care of yourself! R.

First of all Keep your butt in school.. I did it through nursing school single and working full time do not leave that.. Porn is like any other addiction it hurts the person doing it and the ones they love. Was he molested as a child? This would be hard for me to stay in a relationship like that. My ex was into it plus had to have sex all the time tha was not fufilling to me. I left... I didnt want my kids around it. It is a perversion. Pray for him if you are believer. If you are not you are more than welcome to come and visit my church. He needs prayer and counseling I say leave when you are done with school.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers

Wow! I read your story. I am divorced but no children were involved however I have 2 siblings -one divorced and one widowed.Do you have a support system like family and friends? Church? I know at the church I go to there are support groups for divorced people but I think that knowing you're not alone may be a good thing to keep in perspective.Get some help, ask for help, reach out to people.Good luck...Chris

I am having trouble in the marriage department. My concern is how all this is effecting my 4 year old daughter. She loves her daddy and would a seperation/divorce tear her apart and harm her indefinitely. I am struggeling with a husband who has a temper that comes out at me verbally and two physical incidents (minor but all the same absolutely inappropriate). We have been married for 10 years and had a baby later in life. I'm very unhappy and also not sure what to do. We are in counseling which helps a bit. It sounds like he needs counseling (individual, couple or family). Would he go if you persuaded him to? Not much advice, but I wanted you to know your not alone. Good luck.
T.

I am having that same problem....The thing about mine is he is really shy when it comes to talking to girls, I met him because I lived next door at the time and I asked him if I could set him up on a blind date which backfired and I have now been with him 4 1/2 years. He makes comments about other girls and when we have sex he wants me to talk to him about these other girls. It makes me feel like I am not sexy enough for him but he says that it is a natural thing that men do and if I don't like it then there is the door. When I try to leave he calls me every 5 minutes. He has NEVER hit me and he is wonderful with my kids. If you get good advice could you please also send it my way. Thanks.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going threw. My husband acts mean also when he can't have sex every night. I just wanted to say make sure your happy, your kids won't be happy if your not. And kids can tell when your not happy. So put your strong foot down, and do what you need to do for yourself, and good luck with it... H. May