He Doesn't Sleep the Whole Night in His Bed...

Hi T.! My boys will sometimes still get up and come into my room. They are 10 and soon to be 8. I leave a sleeping bag on the side of my bed for them, now that they are getting too big to be in bed with my husband and I. I think you need to let them do that to let them know they are safe and that it is ok to be scared. We are all scared of something. Maybe you could start a worry box. He could tell you, you put it in & discuss it and put it in the worry box. This may sound silly, just a thought. Good luck!

My now 7 year old went through a spell of getting up in the night and being scared to go to bed when he was around 4 also. We got him a spray bottle and put water in it. We then had him put "Monster-be-gone" product into the bottle and shake it up. (the "product" was just lavender from potpourri but it smelled great and made the water look neat, too. you could use anything you choose). We had him make a label for the bottle and he kept it on his dresser. Each night after our prayers, he sprayed his whole room with a light mist. It's only water and lavender so it didn't hurt anything and it gave him the confidence to sleep in his room solo. He used it for about 8 months and then one night decided that the spray had been working and the "monsters" knew they weren't welcome in his room! He's been fine ever since!!! In addition to the spray, positive words shortly before bedtime helped him too! We let him know he can always get up, turn on a light and pray if he does feel frightened!!! I hope this helpS!

Have you tried a gate in his door? I've heard that Target makes extra tall ones.

Hi T.,
He could be a sleepwalker and that is why he is not sure why he was on the couch when you asked him. My nephew went through a phase where he sleepwalked. We believed he was having bad dreams and instead of waking up he sleepwalked. If you can stay up and see if he is sleepwalking. He will appear to be awake but he still is sleeping. Don't wake him as it could startle him. Hope it gets better soon.
L.

Is it possible he is sleepwalking? If so, you might want to get a sleep study done, sleepwalking can be a sign of a larger problem.

Have you asked him what he is afraid of, Somtimes they are afraid of monsters so what I did when my girls where little I would take a spray bottle full of water and tell the girls I was spraying the monsters away for they do not like water.... A few times of that they stayed in there beds.
Or maybe he is a sleep walker and needs to see his Doctor.

My son does the same thing, only he comes into my room at night. If he hit the couch at this point I would be happy. I would like to say it's a phase- but in my case it has been a LONG phase. Daddy was the one to introduce him to our bed- and of course now I am single- and have a hard time weaning him away. My son wasn't scared of the dark until he was 6-and a sitter let him watch Freddy Kruger- now the imagination is running wild. My question is- is it really that big of a problem? I truly think it's something they will grow out of, and what is it hurting for him to sleep on the couch?

I agree with some of the others posts who say that it is no big deal. I would be happy if my child slept most/all of the night and if they are safe and warm, it wouldn't bother me if it was on the couch. The only thing I could add is that you may want to be sure that stairs are gated in case it is sleepwalking. If blankets are not easy to navigate because you don't wake up when he moves to the couch, you could try having him wear an extra layer and not using the blankets in his bed (so he doesn't overheat before he makes the move).

Perhaps you might consider why you think it is important that he sleep all night in his bed? Maybe it is just convention/expectation or maybe it is another issue that could be solved another way...

Good luck!

You might think that it's a little mean but my 3yr girl was doing the same so i put on of thoose hook locks on her door. i lockit after she's asleep. she would cry first 2 weeks but now she's in her bed every morning. When she cys at night we take care of the problem and put her in bed.

I just have to add to the 'sleepwalking' comments. It very well may be sleepwalking, esp. if he isn't sure why he is doing it. But sleepwalking in children is VERY common and isn't a sign of a bigger problem until adulthood, and only then if it is becoming a safety issue. My son walked in his sleep for years before finally stopping in his teen years. Please, people...don't give medical advice you are not qualified to give...it's a dangerous habit!!

~L.

I feel your pain. We have been going through the same thing with our 4 year old off and on since we moved him to a "big boy bed" at 2 1/2. There are a couple of things that I found worked at times, although we are still battling to keep him in his bed all night. If you're like me, you want to avoid forming a habit of sleeping in bed with you. Our alternative: I made up a bed out of blankets on the floor by my bed. We he got up at night, he knew that his "other" bed was made for him. He would crawl under the blankets and go back to sleep. It worked for a while. I don't know what happened, but he has since started to fight to get back in our bed again.
So the other thing that I'm finding that is working, is the reward method. I just started this last week. I told him that if he would stay in his bed all night for a week, we would go to the toy store a get the lego toy he has been wanting. It has worked, and we have gotten a full week's night of peaceful sleep. I wonder if I should've done it for a longer time period. We'll see. Good Luck and I hope you find more complete success.

I have the same problem with my son who just turned 5. Mine sleeps on the floor in his room. When I ask him why, he says he doesn't know. He's not scared or having bad dreams, he just prefers to sleep on the floor. We have decided not to make an issue out of it and make sure he's covered up good in the winter.

My son who is 3 also just started doing that except that he climbs in our bed. If our issue was that he would stay on the couch then I would be happy. My oldest daughter used to do this and it got to the point where we encouraged her to sleep on the couch so we could keep our bed to ourselves and she eventually grew out of it. I wouldn't be too concerned and when in doubt consult his doctor. Good Luck.

I'm reading some of the other replies and can't help but wonder if giving a spray bottle of "monster repelant" is the answer? It seems that is just reinforcing in their young minds that there are monsters. I think it's important for them to know there are no such things as monsters. I don't have any better answers and could be off base here but just thought I would give my opinion.