My twins were born 7 weeks early and have had developmental issues until they were about 3. They potty trained easily for pee pee but have had accidents with poop due to being constipated and not going enough times to really learn the poopy thing. I have had to put them on Miralax so that they will have regular BM's My one twin Joy has had 2 accidents in the last 2 days due to diarrhea. Both the chidcare giver at church last night and the preschool teacher treated me terribly over this issue. One told me we don't ask the kids every 5 mins if they have to go they are supposed to be potty trained. The preschool teacher said the "the rest of the kids in class are potty trained so we're not used to asking them if they have to go" When I put them in this preschool I discussed with the head of the preschool the girls issue with constipation and being picky eaters. She and their brochure said if by 3 they were having problems with potty training that is was Okay the teachers understand and would work with this. That is not the way I was treated by the teacher today. I understand that it is no fun to clean up poopy messes but I went home and cried for an hour since it had happened last night at church and then again today a preschool because the miralax had made her have diarrhea. Preemies have alot of issues that other children don't have and mine have issues with texture of foods and are lactose intolerant so I can't feed them yogurt and they won't drink fruit juice because we were not allowed to give them any juice due to their need to drink only milk so they could gain as much weight as possible in their first year. They did not weigh even 8 lbs until they were over 6 mos old. Any way I was undone by it because no one knows what we have been through to get these girls to where they are now, and I felt like a failure or an idiot by the way I was treated by 2 different people. I would just like some feed back from other moms on if I am just too sensitve or what and especially if their are any moms out there that have had multiples or preemies thanks
I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the way you were treated by your school. YOu are obviously a very good mom and your girls will get through this. You are their advocate and your doing a great job. They'll grow out of this. Just take it a day at a time.
How rude and ignorant! Preemie kids are close to my heart because I used to have a preschool class of visually impaired children who were all born preemie with preemie issues. I had four in diapers and 2 totally blind. They were ages 3 to six and we were on an elementary school campus. I also have a nephew born at 1-lb 8-oz. One of my students went to daycare after school until his mom came home from work. I went to the daycare at his mom's and the daycare director's request to show them what we were working on with him to promote his independence, etc. I was appalled to see the teacher feeding him because he was blind and disregarding everything I had to say. You'd think they'd be jumping at the good fortune of having an expert in the field come to help make life easier for everyone involved! That was not the case. I found that to be true at many daycares: they were not ready for our children with mild to moderate disabilities or minor preemie delays. When this mom found a place who would finally take him she jumped at it, poor thing!
Most places don't take our kids or know how to handle differences--nor do they want to! The daycare workers are most often people who are passing through on their way to another job.
Get your doctors information and go to your local school system's pupil appraisal department and have them look at the doctor's information and give them educational evals. In the Baton Rouge area, that would be at what used to be Goodwood Elementary School on Seven Oaks. They may qualify for preschool services during the school day. This will not label them but give them a class with a teacher and assistant who knows how to deal with preemie issues and that teacher will work to make sure your kids are as ready as they can be for kindergarten. In class they will work on what YOUR children need, including potty and other self-help skills.
To fill you in on my nephew, he is now 13 and reads all the time and is doing great in school. He is an honor student and this past year he was exempt from final exams because of his excellent grades.
BTW, Being lactose intolerant, (c'est moi) sometimes cultured dairy like yogurt can be tolerated because the "cultures" have already changed the sugars in the milk making yogurt one of our tolerated dairy. Some brands add whole milk to make it creamier so that can be a problem.
Avoid giving laxative during school days. Instead, give them veggies, fruits and lentils with high fiber to aid bowel movement.
For now it will be easier on the teachers if the girls went to preschool in pull ups.
And hold strong ..... other people don't necessarily know what you and the girls have gone through in the last 3 years. Look at the bright side that despite being premies, they are going to preschool at the same age as other kids! Expect these accidents as normal behavior for them.
I had my twins 5.5 weeks early and they are now 3 years and 3 months. Mine had diet, texture and allergies issues as well, but they have recently outgrown most of them .... so let me share some fiber recipes with you:
Broccoli & cheese: I steam the brocolli in a pressure cooker. Add grated cheddar cheese and mash the two together. Serve warm. You can substitute with cottage cheese which is low in lactose and add a pinch of salt to it.
Sweet potato & carrots: I steam 4 long carrots and 1 medium sweet potato in a pressure cooker with just a little bit of water. Mash them and serve warm .. its sweet.
Carrot & peas: Steam frozen carrot & peas in a pressure cooker with garlic powder, lemon pepper salt. Serve warm with whole wheat bread.
Oatmeal and cornflakes with lactaid milk and frozen blueberries or strawberries. Microwave 1.5 cups of milk in glass container (I use a large measuring cup) for 2 minutes. Let berries stay in warm milk for a few minutes, mash them before putting oatmeal and cornflakes in it. Let sit for 10 minutes so oatmeal gets mushy.
Cook lentils in pressure cooker with plenty of water. Add sauted medium onion, garlic powder, any herbs (fresh or dried), some spices, salt to taste. Serve with rice or whole wheat bread or simply as a lentil soup.
Lactaid yoghurt: make yoghurt from lactaid milk. Boil the milk and let cool in a pottery or glass container to just warmer than room temperature. Add active cultures yogurt in it (1 large spoon for every cup of milk). Cover and wrap in a towel and let sit for 8 hours in the oven (overnight). Take out from the towel and put in fridge for a couple of hours ... use within a few days. Remember to keep some home-made yogurt aside to make your next batch of yogurt.
Good Luck with the potty training efforts ... one day it WILL happen!
hello A.,
i have a premie also and i worked in a daycare/learning center before i became a mom--so i see two sides of your story-- first the teachers, if this was the first time they have made a comment about this issue i would go to the director and explain what happened and how it made you feel, then mention in to the teachers when you drop your children off that you are sorry for the mess but the kids are working through it and you would appreciate the teachers cooperation on this sentive issue--also the teachers could of been having a bad day, the accident didn't help, and then they acted unprofessional. they could of felt embarassed themselves for being so rude.
having a premie does mean many challenges in the early years and it sounds like your girls were blessed if their only issue is food and bowels--just because your girls were premie does not mean they are going to break--everything will be okay--they will grow up to become beautiful ladies and them being premature will not hold them back for the rest of their lives. God bless
I recommend that you have a sit down with the Director again. Explain about the medication issue and take the kids in pull-ups if needed until their systems calm down. Briefly talk to her about how you felt the interaction with the teacher went. It is her place to have a discussion with the teacher, she needs to know how the teacher treats parents.
As for Church, tell their teacher to come get you if they have accidents. If you take care of that and there isn't any room clean up from poo then they shouldn't have any room to be annoyed.
Good luck! I know you have you hands full with important things like keeping your children healthy, growing, and nurtured.
G
PS, after reading the responses I had a thought.
Call your local DHS office and get the number to talk to a Child Care Licensing Worker. Ours here in Northern Oklahoma are in a separate town so it may be in a different area of your town. Ask the worker about Special Needs Certified Child Care Centers/Home Child Care Providers. These care givers have to go to classes and work for this certification. If you found a place that you liked you might want to change your care giver. It might work out the same financially too.
I have nearly 15 years in Child Care so I know that when a center gets this certification they want to keep it so they work harder. The classes tend to be much smaller, in a regular 3 yr. old classroom each teacher can have up to 15 children. So if the room is large enough there can be 30 little mouths to feed for 2 people.
Anyway, they have more training and have more appreciation for the input of parents and other professionals that would come in and help them make their jobs easier.
WOW! I'm really shocked. I know several 3 1/2-year-olds who aren't completely potty trained (including my 3-year-old), and they aren't even premature twins. It's not like they are ten and having accidents! Do they go to full-day daycare? I know our MDO (Mother's Day Out - Oakcrest) is absolutely 100% supportive with kiddos who need a little more attention with potty-training. Maybe you should reconsider your childcare... I know that it might be difficult, but it might be worth it in the long run because if the teachers are giving you negative feedback on your children's accidents, then your kids might be feeling that negative energy. Good luck!
