Having a Third Child - Broomfield,CO

It sounds like your husband's fear for your safety outweighs his interest in discussing another child. Think about how terrifying your pregnancy must have been for him. We often forget about their feelings b/c the mommy and baby(ies) are the focus. I had an emergency c-section and asked my husband afterwards how he felt and he used the words "terrified and angry".

It might help to have him speak with your OBGYN about the risks/likelihood of this happening again. This helped my husband immensely. We are starting to talk about our second child and he was very afraid that we would have another emergency delivery. My OBGYN sat with him (without me there) and explained EXACTLY how a "perfect" pregnancy can sometimes result in a traumatic delivery and that statistically it was highly unlikely that I would have another prolapsed chord, but that he couldn't promise that something else would not happen.

For my husband, having someone who wasn't emotionally involved explain the parameters really helped. If he still feels like this isn't the right thing for your family, you may need to let it go. He is your first commitment and whether or not you have more children is a joint decision. Don't nag him about it, but have an honest conversation about his fears.

I would say communicate a lot with your husband. I understand his fears, talk with your doctor about any other risks or complications. And how to have perfect pregnancy. Prepare your body for it too.
But you both have to agree and be content for a new baby. Life goes really fast, and our kids are only God's presents until they follow their path. Enjoy your twins now.!!!
Maybe seek for some professional help ( psychologist) to help you decide as a couple.
I know a mom who had a lot of difficulties with their twins pg, one of them almost passed on, but now they're perfect. And then she got pregnant again and had a good time around. So with God's help everything it's possible!
Eve

Stop trying to convince him. Perhaps adoption may be something he will consider or foster parenting a two year old. They come to your home. You shower them with love and help them to develop and provide as much stability you can.

Fear is a terrible force. You can't convince him but you can gently talk with him about how you are feeling without trying to lay a guilt trip on him. He loves you and is afraid of loosing you. I can only imagine being the one standing by and watching this happen to the wife he loves and knowing he played a part in it.

You may have to be resolved to just havning the two girls and that is all. It does take two to make this happen. So don't try so hard to convince him and count your blessings. You have two marvelous, healthy girls and a loving husband. Try being content where you are for a while and the rest will take care of itself. I hope this helps.

I have 3 children ages 4, 2, and 5 mths. All of my pregnancies have been pure h*ll...hospitalizations, home health nurses, permenant IV's, near death. Funny thing I do want another one. However, my husband does not. You have to listen to him, and and not the doctors. I know this feeling you have (I was there and and there now). Every OB/GYN (over 12) I've seen has said I will not be as sick as I was before after each pregnancy....oh where they wrong!

This was told to me from a fellow ministers wife. "If you worm and whine and try to convince my husband to have another child, then I will not be blessed. You have to learn to listen to him too. " My response was... "It's my body I have the right." Her response... "then he has a right to get fixed without your consent. He has a right to pack up the entire family and move across country without asking you. He has a right deny sex with you because it's his body." Yes that was harsh, but this dear friend of mine knows I'm stubborn and won't give up unless someone just "in your face" with me. (Gotta love lifetime friends)

Point is marriage is give and take...compromise. You have 2 babies already. Just start enjoying what you have instead of being disappointed in what you don't have. The more you dwell on "poor me" the less you will love your husband and kids, the more frustrated and disappointed you will be, and the more likely you will have marriage problems. Just sit back relax and enjoy what you have. Who knows maybe once you relax and just enjoy life, you maybe blessed with a 3rd baby. I was.

Our 5 mth old was an OOOPS! I was relaxed all the time and didn't think about a thing in the world... just enjoying my family, then uh-oh. We never used birth control either (married in 2003, first child in jan 06, second in dec 07, third in aug 09). Now I am "fixed" because I met and OLD SCHOOL ob/gyn who read my medical file and said "well to put it in non-medical terms... it's like your body is allergic to pregnancy and hormone changes. I could explain it to you technically, but I don't think you would understand it all. I believe that you and your husband to consider tubal ligation" My reaction was YES!

Your husband it truly concerned for you, and it is selfish to just take in your own wants and desire. You need to take into account his valid fears and all you can do is talk. The doctors say that you could have no problems but to your husband you could. If you did have any problems, your husband may blame himself or even worse resent the baby. Perhaps look into adopting as a compromise. A baby is something both of you should want, there is no convincing. Enjoy your little girls, because they grow up fast.