Having a Second Child - Kalispell,MT

I have a 14 year old son, a 5 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter. I had the very same fears you do about having another child after my son. My son was 9 when we had McKenna. I remember crying after we brought her home because I was so worried about how my son, Dayne, was going to react. Especially since he had been an only child for 9 years. Honestly, I had a much harder time dealing with it than he did. He was thrilled. The best part about it was he truly could enjoy the experience and understood so much more about why I needed to spend so much time with the baby nursing her and changing her. I let him participate in the whole experience as much as HE wanted to and tried not to force anything upon him. He took the sibling class at the hospital and we went on the hospital tour with him. We made sure we had a plan ready so that when I went into labor, he knew exactly what he would be doing and where he would be. We also made sure he was able to be at the hospital the whole time but he was not in the delivery room. I felt he could enjoy the experience of child birth later in life when he has his own children with his own wife. Not looking at mommy sprawled out on the table.

We truly had a great experience and feel you have nothing to worry about. Go for it!

My daughter was 7 when her little brother arrived and she has been the best big sister ever! She is old enough to realize that nothing could change the way I love her and is secure in her place in the family. She knows she is top dog and her brother is the little one that she watches out for, and they are so sweet together! She loves making him laugh and is always happy to sit and play with his baby toys with him (I think she likes having an excuse to play with building blocks again!) You can tell the way his little face lights up when he sees her that he loves her and I know she feels extremely special to be his idol. I think as long as your son is a loving child he will have no problem adapting to having another child to share you with. I hope you go for it, I have no regrets and would have 10 more if I could! And it is truly rewarding knowing you did so good raising your first child to be a sweet loving kid that you want to do it all over again with another one. So good luck and God Bless.

C.,

I say go for it. I would recommend making the 7 yr old as involved as possible. There may be some ups and downs at first but, the postives way out number the negatives. We have six kids and there are good and bad days but, the love the kids share always comes through!! I wish you the best of luck with your decisions and congrats on going to college.

A.

Hi C.!!

I have four kids and am so thankful I had more than one because that love that siblings have for one another is unbelievable. My kids play together, fight, love on each other. It's just an amazing thing. As far as feeling left out, I always made sure my older child felt useful...maybe helping get the diapers for the baby, hold baby, etc.
I think you'll be glad you had another baby!!!

God bless!!!

T.
http://tinamccomb.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

I totally understand your concern. I've even heard other mothers say they were afraid they wouldn't love their second as much as their first but once the baby arrives, well, it's never an issue. When we only had one child I thought there was no such thing as spoiling your child with time and attention. I thought that was an absolutely insane idea. But once my second was born, I realized that we had been spoiling him. He had to learn that the world did not revolve around him and sometimes other's needs took precedence over his. He had to mature a little because he had a little brother. It was actually good for him and for my husband and me. Plus it is WONDERFUL to see your children play together and care for each other. It's not something you'd ever want to miss!

If you want another go for it, we have 7 and they are in 2 sets, the oldest are 16,15,14,13 and then almost 6, 3, and 10 months, and with each one of mine I felt the same, could I love another, how will the older ones feel ect, but you know what it all works out and there is a lot of fun in being a big brother.....

Here is some back ground on my family I am 35 and have a 27 year old sister, a 16 year old sister and a 13 year old brother. Talk about an age gap! And mt mom still loves me the same,

Just keep your son as involved as he wants to be, and one way to combat some of the "feeling left out" is give him a few hours a week that are just about him it will be hard in the beginning but once the baby sets it's schedule it all works out and you look back going what was the big deal.GOOD LUCK!

My husband and I chose to have a second child when our first was three. I felt exactly the same way about how I was going to rock her world. I didn't not have siblings but my husband, who is the middle of three, said he can't remember not having siblings. I think this is a personal choice you and your husband have to make. Your son is important of course, but you cannot base your decision solely on how he may or may not feel. Do you want to be a two child family or only a one child family? Your whole family dynamic will change when you add a second child. Are you really ready to go through those first years again, with little sleep and lots of work? best of luck on the decision.