Has Never Slept Through the Night!

"The No Cry Sleep Solution", by Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears...is THE best book! My son is 10mos. He went to bed at Midnight two days before Thanksgiving...and that was it for me! We've been implementing a bedtime routine since and WOW totally different baby boy. We eat dinner, take a bath, play quietly for a while with dad and then we start the wind down for bedtime about 8-8:30. Yes, he fights us a bit but he's usually asleep by 9:30 but HE SLEEPS!!! :) He will make noises around 1:30 but if we pat him or hold him for a second, he goes back to sleep until 4:30 until he wants a bottle (I give him water now) and goes back to sleep until 6:30-7:00.

Just so you know, I have been told that children who sleep through the night are the rare cases until they are 3-4 yrs old...and that they don't NEED to eat through the night, although some do (as you know, all kids are different).

Get the book or borrow it from someone...it's a wonderful non-"cry it out" book.

OH! and the other thing that I've noticed, when my son has a VERY active day or playdate with a friend, he tends to sleep a little better at night.

Just my thoughts, I hope you get some sleep soon!

My daughter never slept more than an hour at a time until she was 15 months old.

She also gave up her afternoon nap before she was a year old and gave up naps in general by 2.

I really recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution" book. It was a godsend for us and helped us to teach our daughter how to self soothe herself back to sleep (she was always one to nurse to sleep). It's a slow, gentle process.

While she still doesn't make it an entire night, most nights (she is now 3) she only wakes once a night now.... which is a TREMENDOUS improvement!

That's a tough one! My son was never much of a sleeper either. I only have a few suggestions. First, you mentioned an occasional late afternoon nap. I would eliminate that, even though it provides a nice break. If he's sleeping late in the day he won't be tired enough to get into a good sleep at night. Second, if you haven't already, I would make sure he has a bed time routine. Once you've set it up stick to it, do the same thing at the same time every night. He sounds like a night owl, so maybe try to start the routine at 9 or so and have him in bed before 10. Even if he doesn't go right to sleep he will know that this is the time for laying in bed and relaxing. Hopefully he will slowly start falling asleep earlier and earlier. Also, I would elminiate breast feeding at night entirely. By giving in your are just encouraging his behavior. He does not need to eat during the night. I had the same problem with my son wanting to eat at night. Finally I decided enough was enough, we battled for a few nights and he finally gave up because he realized I wasn't going to give in. If you son cries a bunch go to his room and sit by his bed, but don't feed him and don't pick him up. Be consistent and don't cave in. Best of luck to you!

J.,

Some kids just aren't natural sleepers. I have one too so I feel your pain. He was 2 years old the first time he slept through the night (he's 3 now and he sleeps through the night about half the time).

A couple of resources that helped us:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

and the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I think she even has a toddler version now.

Basically, I'm not an advocate of letting kids cry it out. There are much gentler ways to teach kids to sleep. But I do understand the frustration that leads to it. Check out these resources, they are all child friendly, breastfeeding friendly.

:-)T.
mama to Cole (the non-sleeping wonder) 9-11-03
and Wyatt 10-14-06

There is an amazing book that helped me out SO MUCH called The No Cry Sleep Solution. There are a lot of ideas in there about how to get your child on a routine that works for both of you. It gave me some really great ideas of how to get my son (6 months) to stop using me as his pacifier and being comforted by other object like a stuffed animal. Now when he wakes I know it is for hunger. And he has been a dream at bedtime because of our routine we have developed. I can't say enough about this book and HIGHLY recommend it in your situation. Give it a few weeks and you will see some improvements!

I think he is sleeping way to much. At his age he should only be taking a afternoon nap. I have a daughter 18 months and she stopped taking a morning nap around 12 months. she sleeps through the night great.
About the feeding through the night. The doctor told me she no longer needed to be fed during the night after 6 months. There is a routine called ferberizing. it isnt as bad as cold turkey, we did this with our daughter at 6 months and she responded well. basically the first night when they start crying you go into there room lay them down and walk out. wait 10 min and go back do the same. then you wait 20 min do the same then wait 30 min do the same. keep going until he gets the point. The next night you this time use 15 min intervals, the next 20 and so on. We did this for three nights she never woke for a bottle again.

My daughter did ths same exact thing. The way you are describing your son was my daughter at that same age. She is now 2 and sleeps throgh the night.I breastfed my daughter until she was 17 months old and she did not sleep through the night until I stopped breastfeeding.I don't know if that is something either of you or your son are ready to do but it worked for me. When I talked to her doctors that is all they kept saying to do. Good luck and I hope whatever you do works for you.

Try feeding him and then giving him a warm bath before bed. Plan to either lay down with him or rock him a half hour before his bedtime. Try to wake him up earlier in morning and take nap later in morning or very early in afternoon. Don't let him sleep for more that hour and a half.

My son (now 9 months)was waking at night for a bottle more out of comfort then hunger. It took 3 nights to stop completely. I would give him a bottle with cereal before bed. He is in bed between 8 and 830 (regardless if he is tired or not). Once he gets used to the schedule (babies need schedules) he will be tired and ready for bed by this time.

I let him cry it out (CIO) the first night. He cried for about 30 min. before he went back to sleep. Then the next night he cried about 10 min. The 3rd night he only cired for about 5 min. Then he stopped after that. He now sleeps through the night. He also gets decent size dinners now that he is on table food, which helps keep him fuller longer. Good luck!!

Hi J.,

My son is a year old and also does not sleep through the night. He also used to wake and would not go back to sleep until I nursed him. Around 9 months on the advice of my pediatrician I quit nursing and switched to formula (he's now on regular milk though). The first few nights were very hard, a lot of screaming, but he would eventually calm down (I did offer water and sometimes he drank a little). Now he still wakes at night if he's in his own crib and after a couple times I end up taking him into our bed and he usually sleeps fine. I don't always know what is waking him up, but often it seems to be gas. I don't know why gas bothers him more at night but it does. I just wanted to let you know that I am having a similar problem as you and a lot of people tell me that every baby is different, he'll sleep through the night when he's ready (though he has slept through the maybe about 10 times randomly since 3 months old). I also tried letting him cry it out - the longest I let him cry was 3 hours and it was absolute torture. So my advice to you is to quit feeding him at night (my son has his last bottle at 8pm and wakes for one between 5-7am next morning and I am planning on making him wait until at least 7am very soon). Also another person suggested cutting down on the naps - that sounds like good advice to me, keep him up more during the day, one nap mid-afternoon should be plenty for his age. Hang in there!

Here is what I did and worked for us. Your situation sounds alot like mine. My son was 14 months when I realized he was tired WAY before he showed signs. I read up on his age and how much he should be sleeping and when. Found the info on babycenter.com I think, or Parenting's guide to your toddler a book I love. Anyway so I sat next to his crib while he cryed and held his hand the first night. Next night I sat there no touching next night chair in mddle of room next night by the door next night out the door. after the first 2 nights he didn't cry and slept ALL night. The night I walked out the door he cryed but only 15 minutes and then after that he went to bed with little fussing and no more night waking or just ocasionaly. At naptime I had to give him the courtesy of a cup of milk. But i picked a naptime and stuck to it, He would be tired but not showing signs. His was nap 2 hours after waking and then 2 hours after waking from nap eventualy his naps got longer. There is a chemical that is released to help us stay awake when we don't get enough sleep and makes it hard for kids to settle down if you don't catch them BEFORE they get over tired. Good luck! ~V.

Sounds like maybe you are allowing your son to make up for lost nighttime sleep by napping during the day. Try cutting out the morning and late afternoon naps- by this age one in the afternoon should do. Also try waking him in the morning, if he wakes earlier he may go to bed earlier. Of course you can't do it all at once, but try a little bit at a time. I highly recommend Sleeping through the Night. It is a kinder approach than ferberizing, but along the same basic principles. If you do try to let him cry some to get him to sleep, you must, must stick with it. Even if it's two hours. If you don't then you are just teaching him if he cries long enough, he will get what he wants. plus, the worst part is that he will have cried all that time for no reason at all. That said, I do not recommend that you try any approach that you are not comfortable with. So if crying and checking on him doesn't work for you, don't do it. Definately trust your instincts. But do try to find a more appropriate schedule for a child his age. Good luck.

My 14 month old son has the same problem, but it has gotten better because I cut out his morning nap and now he takes one a day, he is more tired earlier and goes down with the other kids, he does still get up but is asleep again after I hold him, I know it is frustrating but it will get better every single one of my kids had this same problems and they are great sleepers. Good luck.

my daughter never slept through the night until I weened her at 18 mo. if you still want to nurse him til he weens himself then I would suggest that you just let him sleep with you don't force him to stay in his bed if he is not ready this will only upset him and cause you to get less sleep. what we did was put my daughter's bed right next to my side of the bed and she would just crawl up nurse and then go back to her bed. I would barely even wake for it and I became a much happier person during the day.
also you could try to reduce the amount of naps he takes one two hour nap a day should be enough then he can sleep more at night try to keep him active especialy at the time he would take a nap but you don't want him to(i also find that a banana will help) but other than that try to work with him not against so that you both get enough sleep.
Good Luck and remember it is never too late to change