Gymnastics? - Loma Mar,CA

Sounds like you're advocating the she quit if it's difficult or she has less skill. So the next time she has a difficult task at school she can quit if it's difficult or she gets a C? After all other kids got higher grades with ease.

She is 7...she is not considering the Olympics. If she is having a good time, I would let her stay in and see how it plays out. If she is determined, she will likely get better. If she gets to where she absolutely hates it, then it is time to let her quit. That's the thing about being young...there is nothing wrong with trying something and deciding that you just don't like it. Give her a chance to see what she can do.

I think if it's an issue of being too busy, maybe stagger the classes so she's only taking one or two at a time. Summer vacation is a great time to take on extra activities that the regular school year schedule won't really allow.

If it's only the issue of her current skill level, then I say let her continue. I personally think gymnastics is one of the best ways for children to learn about their bodies and gain coordination. Sometimes it's the uncoordinated kids that really benefit from gymnastics the most! Plus its all done in a way that's fun!

If she likes doing it, I can't see how it would hurt her to continue.

IMO extracurriculars like gymnastics for kids that young are supposed to be about having fun, meeting different kids, and getting some exercise. Kiddos don't have to excel at the sport for an extracurricular activity to be worth it.

Why would you stop Her if she enjoys it and she is getting something out if it. It does not matter if she has perfected skill, she likes it!!!

In time, she'll figure out what she may want, but keep in mind, the skills she's learning ( although you think they are minimal) could help her later on!

Dont dictate any activity, let your child find her place and support her along the way.

I was a cheer coach for many years and I saw a lot of young people who wanted to try out but had zero body awareness at all. If she enjoys it and you can afford it, I would keep her in for a while longer and let her develop crucial body awareness skills. These skills can help with posture, self-esteem and future physical fitness. I have my little ones in gymnastics for just that. I don't think they will ever compete and I probably won't let them do competitive cheer but I want them to know where their bodies are and develop some grace. Sometimes gyms do extra clinics for handstands or cartwheels, maybe sign her up for one of those so she can get some focused help.

oh geez. make up an excuse? really?
please don't. i really do get the pain of watching your kid do something they're not particularly good at, but surely it's better for a kid (even one not blessed with determination like yours) to work earnestly at improving than coast along on what comes naturally.
my older son is a klutz. sports should have been a non-starter for him. yet he ended up REALLY good at baseball and basketball, and even ran track in middle school.
despite my deep love for horses, i was never a 'natural' at riding. every ounce of skill i now possess, which is considerable for an amateur, has come through long hard work. and it's been worth every bit of it.
don't make up excuses to roadblock your child. encourage her. and yeah, not just in the areas in which she's got natural talent. kids should try things they're not good at. the effort required to attempt that cartwheel is ultimately far more valuable than the applause a 'natural' might get from executing one perfectly.
khairete
S.

You never say in your original post how your child feels about her own participation in gymnastics other than "she wants to persist" at it. Does she want to persist because it's fun for her? Or because she realizes that mom feels she's not very good at it and she wants to show you she can be better?

You are focused on her aptitude.and whether she is good at it in your estimation, good enough to justify the expense you're putting into classes. Can you see how that focus is very different from focusing on whether she just plain has fun at it regardless of whether she's good at it?

This is obviously a starter class, since she's only been doing it several months. If she is having fun and talks about the class positively and looks forward to it, and the coach or teacher is positive and encourages fun and does not get on kids' cases or fuss if they aren't budding proto-Olympians--let her keep doing it if she wants to. Ask her. Ask her too if she is enjoying it or just grinding through it.

She does sound like she has a lot of things going on, though, and school is the priority. So she's in three different sport classes right now if I read this right -- gymnastics, tennis and swimming-- does she also take weekly lessons in any music since you note she is musical? Even if there's no music lesson, three sport classes simultaneously is a lot at seven. You also don't mention whether she LIKES tennis and/or swimming. And by liking it I don't mean her saying "Yeah, it's fine" when she goes -- I mean really looking forward to it and feeling her week's incomplete without it, as opposed to going because it's just what she always does and she's used to it. Kids this age don't like change, and will keep doing the same activity over and over unless an adult lets them know it's OK to take a break and presents them with ideas for new things to do.

Please don't feel a child has to be good at something from the start in order to justify doing it. You're wanting her to "make progress" as you put it, when at her age, extracurriculars should be about having fun and tasting new and different things so that eventually -- in a few years, not right away -- she might find one activity she likes. Be sure she is in classes that are six- or 10- or at most 12-week sessions, not some massive September to June commitments. That way she can taste things but it's less of a big deal when something ends, if she isn't into it. The longer commitments come later.

I would ramp back the three sports and cut it to one sport class that she chooses (but don't pull her from things in mid-session -- let them come to their natural end when the class term ends and it's time to register again, or not). And find something else for her that is not a sport -- a kids' drama class, or an art class (arrange for her to take it with a friend, maybe), or if there's a kids' choir at your church or synagogue if you go, see if she would be interested. Kids need exposure to arts as well as sports. Again, go for shorter term classes and courses, not ones for the entire school year..

So the answer for me is: Don't ever "make up an excuse" for her to stop -- you would basically be fibbing so you can avoid saying, "Honey, you're just not naturally adept enough at gymnastics after a few months to progress and be really good at it, so let's drop it and find something you do well at from the start." That's not a message to send any kid. She won't progress at anything without trying it for enough time to decide if she wants to keep doing it. And if she likes it but isn't great at it, why would you want her to stop what she's doing? She can do non-competitive gymnastics (or swimming or tennis) for fun; things don't have to be about her aptitude, certainly not yet.

I think the financial and time commitment is pretty big since she's doing three sport classes each week and that can be cut back to whichever one she really enjoys the most, but if she chooses gymnastics -- can you step back and let her do it without feeling she shouldn't because it's the one she's not immediately good at?

If she enjoys it and doesn't mind that she isn't very good, I would let her keep going. She will hit the point where she doesn't want to do it anymore, but for now, it's good exercise and will help her build a lot of strength. I don't see a reason to stop as long as she's happy.

If this is the activity she wants, and she has the time and you have the money, then you need to let her do gymnastics.

If she's enjoying it, why stop the fun? She's only 7, and mastering a cartwheel can take awhile. Maybe she enjoys the challenge. Maybe it's more fun for your daughter because she has to work at it. Some kids are like that.

If it's painful for you to watch her, then don't.

It takes some kids a year to do a good cartwheel. The kids she's in class with might have started taking gymnastics at age 3 so they are going to seem more talented than her. She's getting a late start at gymnastics. But that doesn't mean she won't catch up or that she'll feel bad about her skills.

I think you need to let her stay in. She can take this year then in the fall she can decide if she likes gymnastics or if she wants to go straight to just tumbling. Most kids her age, after having a year of gymnastics done, pretty much like to go with just tumbling instead. But they do miss the uneven parallel bars a lot. They don't miss the balance beams too much and they do love the springboard floor and tumble trak

This is a sport that's pretty easy for kids. I hope you'll let her stay and not judge her so harshly. It takes time to learn new skills that involve every muscle in her body plus a lot of mental skills too.

If she is happy and enjoys it, then all is well. One does not have to be skilled in an activity to have fun and it is not a waste of time and money to do something you enjoy.

You're not trying to find her a career track. If she is having fun, then clearly gymnastics IS for her. You don't seem to understand the purpose of children's activities. The point isn't to be good or skilled, the point is to be active and have fun.

Talk to her coach. Tell her of your concerns and see what coach says. Maybe your daughter needs to develop more upper body or core strength. I was in martial arts for several years and some kids started out so ackward and uncoordinated it was difficult to see them excell. But with time and patience they improved and some began to shine.

K.,

WHY take her initiative away?? She WANTS to try. Let her try.

She won't be perfect at everything she does, but she's TRYING to improve - do NOT take that away from her.

NEVER make up an excuse. EVER. You don't lie to your child.

I'm sorry, I would not make excuses for one of my boys who is enjoying what he is doing and trying to improve. I would support them in their endeavor to improve. I wouldn't wince when I saw them floundering, I would notice when they have improved.

Talk to her coach. Find out what her coach thinks about her performance, is she improving? Gymnastics is a great sport. Keeps one limber and improves coordination. I think it would help with her tennis and swimming as well.

I'm in the same boat. I think the best lesson she is giving you is her will to keep trying even if she's not that good at it. My 2 daughters are in gymnastics. One is very good, the other sounds like your daughter. I overheard the "good" one say "We all have our talents, I'm better at gymnastics but you are good at xyz". It was a very touching moment for me to hear my 7 yr old tell her 9 yr old sister this.

Please don't pull her out.

What's the point of the activity? If it's to train an Olympic gymnast, then she should quit.

If it's to let her try something for more than a few months to give her the chance to really apply herself rather than quit at the first sign of difficulty, to be physically active, to interact with other kids, to apply herself with a sense of discipline, to tackle what is difficult and not be afraid, then she should stay. People have to do things that are hard in life - I think you should be thanking your lucky stars that you don't have a quitter on your hands or someone who walks away from something where she doesn't immediately excel. How exactly to you think people get good at things? They work at them!!!

Gymnastics at this age has nothing to do with natural skill. In fact, gymnastics is just wonderful for kids WITHOUT the skill. Lots of times it helps them with spacial problems. That is SO helpful for later on in their lives! Kids who are clumsy also can benefit tremendously from this. Eye-hand coordination work helps them so much too.

Please don't look at your daughter as not being good enough for gymnastics. The reason you want her in there is that gymnastics is good for HER. It's wonderful that she is strong and good at tennis and swimming. But this is a very different skills set and you're doing a good thing by letting her do it.

I think leaving her in if she wants to is what you should do. Its an individual sport that she isn't bringing anyone on the "team" down so its a great sport for her to stay in if she enjoys it. It's different when its a team sport and you know your kid is horrible. She's not bringing anyone down, its a great muscle builder and she likes it. Leave her in it.