Hi All,
So I am here to give a confession.
I allow my 2 young boys to play shooting games on the Xbox. They are 9 & 7 and they are surrounded by TONS of teenage boys, they have a 21y/o bro, an 18y/o bro, a 17y/o cousin and a 14y/o cousin...and all their friends.
The Halo franchise has been a staple in our house since it came out. We enjoy playing as a family and yes, I play as well...I also LOVE the Rainbow Six Vegas franchise and The Army of Two franchise, if I am to be truthful.
Last night my oldest nephew brought over the new Halo 4 game and wanted 'W' my 7y/o to play the campaign with him on Xbox Live...so they did and they beat the campaign in one night on 'legendary' which is pretty cool, to say the least.
Now while not being able to look away I was struck (yet again) how freaking awesome my youngest boy is! He is ruthless and fearless and just down right Amazing! He is a master at tactical warfare and I can not help but to be impressed by his Mad Skillz!
But at the same time, I do have a slight pang of guilt kick in as I ask myself "Have I ruined my youngest boy by allowing him to play these games"? He has no problem getting off when asked, doesn't throw fits, plays sports (football, wrestling, soccer & baseball), does great at school, 'My boy is wicked smart' to quote a movie, but it is the truth, he owns at Math and basically taught himself algebra w/only a few questions to us. He has always been 'one of those' kids that just is good at EVERYTHING he does!
My older boys sing his praise to all their friends & begged me to enroll him in a local Halo tournament that came thru town awhile back....schedules conflicted but I would be lying if I said I didn't consider it.
Not sure what I am looking for? Just wanted to throw this out into the universe....
I know he is unique and I know he has a good strong head on his shoulders...and I am not *all that* worried about him being corrupted by these games....but at the same time watching him totally destroy that game last night did cause me pause!?
Other Halo Moms out there that can relate??
My boys never play Halo but I never saw a problem with the violence in the games they did play. A normal kid can play these games all day and be fine, a kid with issues, not so much.
My younger son has Autism spectrum. I have to be careful what TV shows he watches but for whatever reason he has no trouble understanding video games are not real, that it is a skill challenge and nothing more.
You know your child better than anyone else. I would like to think that if you noticed him acting in a way that indicated he was having difficulty separating the behaviors in this game with reality, your protective instincts would kick in and things would be different. Just pay attention to his behavior, comments he makes, etc...if you see a "hardening" of his heart or a decrease in his ability to sympathize with others, it should be a red flag that he's spending too much time in this world.
My parents allowed certain behaviors / exposures with the understanding that if it influenced our attitudes / respect, that they would be limited or removed.
Like anything, limit their time. Make sure they play outside 3 or 4 times more than video games.. even more if you can get them out there.
Talk about reality verses pretend. be serious that you want them to understand the consequences of real life military, real life violence.
Talk to them about laws about how we behave as society and about how each and every person has loves, has things they are good at and ways that they help our society. everyone loves their mothers as much as they love you, so to lose their mother to violence.. is devastating.
If they are old and mature enough in your eyes to play these games, they will be old enough and mature enough to consider the real life consequences of this behavior in real life.
Remember, this is not a one time conversation.. this is a conversation that should continue through out their adolescents also.
These games are only going to become more intense the more skilled they are, the more they will want to play.. But keep them living in reality..
Our daughter learned about death while in preschool, when one of the mothers was killed in an accident. In elementary school one of the dads was killed in the military. we spoke about what this meant to their families. The sacrifice this dad had made and the sacrifice this family would always live with.
My daughter played first person shooter games from the time she could hold a controller and it didn't do her any harm.
Let him play his game and let him play in the tourney if he wants to and you can swing the scheduling.
My H has always had a computer and our kids were always familiar with it. My oldest learned where the letters were on the keyboard and what they were by a computer game that sang nursery songs when he pressed the right keys, at 20-22 months old. He taught himself to read because he wanted to know what the pop ups said on Mech Warrior. I have the cutest picture of his little brother (3 1/2 yrs younger) sitting on his lap playing a Hercules game. They played all kinds of games all their lives. My oldest was and is, very smart. As envolved as I was, I could never kept up with his voracious need to learn and do without a computer and that includes games. He has friends at college who are aghast at the thought of a kid doing all the games as early as he did. I do feel a bit guilty when I hear it.
But like your son, he is just not your average bear. He has tons of interests and is social and excelling in Russian and international politics at school.
I think he will be ok. I think your son will be also.
I waited until my kids were teens before I allowed them to play Halo and stuff like it. Now the genie's out of the bottle - I don't know what else you can do. If you take it away on "principle" now, you just seem punitive.
What I WOULD do is limit their time on it.
Dawn
No guilt necessary!! Sounds like you have a terrific kid. Just keep having fun together! :)
The only "rule" to abide by is to do what feels right to you and your family.
My son is now 19 and my daughter 16. They also played those kinds of games since they were little. Both are terrific young people who did very well in school. My son is now working as a Web Developer and my daughter is a top achiever in grade 10. Absolutely NO harm done ... in fact, I think it helped with their hand eye co-ordination! :P
My child is 13. The only reason I let him play Halo (don't usually let him play M rated games) is because you are shooting aliens. I have no interest in playing this but don't mind if he does. Don't feel guilty. No need. He sounds like a great kid! Good job Mom!
It sounds fine. Just limit the time, make sure he does other things, and know that there can be a tendency towards addiction to those things.
And let him play in the next tournament. :)
p.s. -- Is Halo really violent? If it is, it's your call.
