Goodie Bags - Again

Hi L.,

They get games, food, cake, ice cream, the pleasure of a birthday party....NO goddie bag is necessary. (BREAK THE MOLD)!

Blessings.....

Instead of Goodie bags...have bags for your pinata..and instead of filling your pinata with candy...fill it with small toys...playdough is great.....I've done this before....and I don't have to rememmber to hand out bags when people leave.

I also went to a monkey birthday party where at the door when you left you could take a banana that had been decorated with some monkey stuff....my girls loved it!

I went through the trouble of having goodie bags at my son's birthday party, and things were so active, I forgot to hand them out to half the kids when they left (all small kids, various nap times). I never heard anything about it.

I think goodie bags are more of a way to say thank you. Maybe you can do something else like take a digital picture of your child with the friend and promise to send a thank you card with the picture. That way the friend has a more lasting memory of the party, not just something to throw away.

I prefer no goody bags and my kids understand and appreciate the honor in just celebrating the birthday of someone special to you. That being said I feel strongly about inviting people who care and you care about. The huge over the top birthdays where everybody is invited and it really isn't noticed if your there or not are not ones I will take my children to. Something we have done as part of a party is a craft where they make something and take it home. Could be a bead jewlery project or embroidery depending on the age. I love the idea for bean bags for younger kids. This provides an activity and a little something to take home. But certainly not a must.

I just went to a birthday party today where they didn't give out goodie bags. Instead they gave balloons to every kid. It was perfect for a 1 year old birthday party and my 3 year old was thrilled because she loves balloons!

I'm completely against goody bags. I really think it's so rude when the children come up to myself or the birthday child and ask for the goody bags. I say rebel and don't fall in the goody bag trap. We spend enough on the party as it is.

I too am not a fan of the goody bag. I see the bags as wasteful because usually the items end up being tossed the next day. As far as the comment from Wendy goes - I am glad that I don't hang with women that would talk nasty because their child did not come home with a gift. The party is supposed to be about the birthday child - not the guest!!! If a 5 year old is crying because they did not receive a goody bag from attending their friends party, then obviously some big lessons need to be taught. A child's party should not put the parents into debt. It's about getting together with your friends and everyone having some fun. I don't think gift certificates for ice cream, books, etc. need to be given to the guests. Its just one more added cost. The idea of giving out a lollipop, balloon, a 50 cent jar of bubbles or even a simple cookie is perfect and is all that is needed. I have 5 children and all of them would be happy with any of these items. They go to their friends parties expecting nothing and if they do come home with a small something, it is a bonus!! Maybe if more parents went this route instead of feeling the stress of finding the perfect "goody bag" item then more parents would follow that lead. It certainly is a better lesson for children.

We just went to one, and my son didn't notice or care; he's 5.

L.,

I have attended some with my son and he didn't know the difference. I prefer it that way- I think it is more important that they have a good time celebrating with the other children. Goodie bags are optional-- kids shouldn't expect them-they are just a bonus.

Molly

Looks like we're all in agreement....goody bags aren't necessary. My kids see it as a bonus, not an expectation, at the end of a party. If they get one, that's really cool! If not, they don't even think about it. They still leave the party talking a mile a minute about how fun it was. All the kids will have fun at the party, and the goody bag will be a non issue. And personally, goody bags drive me nuts. The toys always end up on the floor of the car on the way home, and the kids usually forget about them by the time we get home. Don't worry about not having goody bags...all the parents will probably thank you! :)

Hurrah for no goody bags! Extra stress on the party planning parent and it's all junk anyway unless you're independently wealthy and can afford to give all the kids bags of gold nuggets. My girls (4 and 7) love to go to parties where there are the arts and crafts and they take what they decorated home. Even that, I feel, is not necessary, but they do like that. You're going to send out thank you cards anyway. Good idea from the other mama to take pictures and send them out with the cards. I would just do one group pic and send that one out to everybody. Kids love looking at pictures of themselves with their friends having a good time!

my kids LOVE goody bags but I usually find that most of the contents are unecessary giveaways. Have you thought about a baskin robbins certificate for a free cone and maybe a pack of gum. That way the kids get something, which they unfortunately expect, and you feel better about what your giving.

Hi L.,
I just had a party for my 1 yr. old son. I did goody bags b/c I read online that some woman went to a party w/ her 2 young children and they were really upset that there were no goody bags. Most of the kids at the party were my friends children and they were older. Quite honestly, I'd skip 'em. My friends could care less, the stuff I put in them was small cheapie toys (which I can't stand myself). The party was kind of a long one and families came & went. Even though the bags were on the a table as you walk out, I realized after several kids left, I forgot to hand them out and they didn't grab them. Again, I'll skip 'em next time. Good luck!

We just went to a party at the Jungle and the mom gave the kids tokens at the end so they could earn their own "junk" and I didn't even notice there were no goodie bags. The only time those are appropriate is if the party is at the park or something. Another idea is the "junk" swap. Ask each child to bring a toy that they don''t want from home and the kids pick names and they get to take home the other kids toy. It is somewhat fun!

There are many options to subsitute the 'good ol'goodie' bag. You could purchase inexpensive books and have your child 'sign' their name and tie a lollipop with a ribbon to the book; give a hat coordinating with the theme of the party; T-shirts that coordinates with the theme; baking goodies if the theme is 'Baking'. Find your theme and find a useful item to pull from it and give that as a gift to the guest. It's a great way to avoid the purchase of all that 'Chinese Junk' out there! I really dislike all those little junkie items that just lie around the house and end up in the recycling bin. Good Luck and have fun!!

Hi L.

This whole idea with goodies I think just came about with the dot com age. meaning, people had money to blow so they thre these lavish birthday parties. Well now, with people getting back to the basics, I don't think anyone expects (or should) expect to receive gift(s) on someone else's birthday... Used to be, those attending a party were the only ones giving the gifts. I wouldnt' feel bad if my son didn't receive a goodie bag, I think it's nice if they do, but by NO means do I think it's necessary not to mention and to be honest, aren't most filled with plastic junk and or candy that most kids don't need or are filled with toys the kids play with for a second then lose some where.. I would much rather have the family who is putting on the party put any 'extra" funds towards their own family.
It's already expensive enough for the family throwing the party.. I say no more goodies bags.. keep it simple..

I suggest you tell parents ahead of time there will be no goodie bags so they can talk to their child at home about it. If it is a surprise at the end of the party the kids are going to ask for them and then it will become all the kids can talk about.

I have attended birthday parties that did not give out goodie bags, I was glad. It's too much stuff and I end up throwing it away when the kids aren't looking. I used to give out goodie bags but stopped a few years ago. It should be enough that the kids got invited to the party, got to play and ate cake and ice cream or whatever. If you really want to give something out, hand them each a lollipop as they are going out the door or have your child do it as he/she is thanking them for coming to the party. It's simple, cheap and I bet parents will actually be relieved not get the goodie bag.

My group doesn't do "goodie" bags per se, but there are things for the toddlers (three year olds) to take home. One child gave each guest a (mylar) balloon, which was a hit. Another gave out a mix cd of favorite kids songs. (It's my daughter's favorite and every time we get into the car she asks to listen to the "thank-you" cd, she knows it was a thank you gift from her friend for coming to her birthday party.) Another gave tiny terra cota pots with a teeny packet of flower seeds and a little pellet of soil. For my daughter's dog themed birthday party next week, we are giving each of the guests a dog Beanie Baby. We all try to stay clear of the plastic junk that is usually found in goodie bags and when the kids are a bit older, I am sure we will move on to art projects, etc, instead of little "prizes".

Dear L.,
It seems very seldom that people give goodie bags anymore. For one thing, if you have enough bags for all invited, some kids either don't show up and you have too many or you end up with more kids than anticipated and don't have enough goodie bags.
I've certainly never had a complaint or an upset child if they didn't get one. The main thing is for everybody to have fun. I quit doing goodie bags when my daughter was about 6. By the time we payed to rent the roller rink or pay for bowling plus feeding the kids lunch on top of the cake/ice cream, etc, it just got to be too much. Usually the kids are too busy having fun to notice anyway.
I would say my children have been to hundreds of parties where there were no goodie bags and thought nothing of it.
My son has a summer birthday so we usually have a party for him and his friends before school gets out and everyone scatters during vacation. I've done a bbq and let the kids run around having squirt gun and water balloon fights and each kid got to keep their squirt gun, things like that. But goodie bags, no.
Back in the day, it was unthinkable not to R.S.V.P., not to have gifts for your guests as well as sending thank you cards. Times have changed. Birthdays aren't about presents, they're about having fun. That's really what counts.

Good luck!

we had a party with an animal theme and different games, including a safari treasure hunt, Pooh's fishing hole, pin the tail on Zaboomafoo, horse race, bean bag toss, etc. They were given a shoulder bag and cowboy/cowgirl hat and binoculars when they came in, and accumulated their "treats" through playing the games, hunting etc. It was a great party, and I think they liked putting their bags together. We bought individual items that were theme appropriate and better quality than most preassembled goodie bags I've seen.

We usually give baked goods (such as cookies with a tiny bit of frosting they can spread themselves) as a goody bag. I was at the zoo (Sacramento) yesterday and they had goody bags already made up for about $4 per bag. No candy! Plus, all the proceeds go to the zoo for improvements. Maybe you've got something similar in your area. As a general rule, I dislike goody bags, but they are expected by both the parents and the kids. I was at a party once and the other parents were talking badly about the hosting parents because they did not do the goody bags. Also, my son cried because he did not get anything even though he had given his friend a present (his words not mine and he is 5). Just be aware that other people may not agree with you if you choose not to offer them. Good luck!

http://www.chefwalton.com

I noticed at my son's last B-Day party some of the parents "forgot" to take the goodie bags with them. I ended up passing out the contents to Trick-or-Treaters when we ran out of candy. ( My son's birthday is Oct. 26)
I suggest a Crazy Straw, some stickers, a thank you card and a bit of candy is fine for the age 2-6 crowd. That way you don't have to worry about obnoxious noise makers or choking hazards. I had no clue about goodie bags until I went to a kid birthday and then felt guilty for not having them for my son - even though all the moms were still speakingto me I felt like I'd committed a El Cheapo faux-pas. *sigh*

Absolutely I've been to some without them - Including my own! and my kids are absolutely fine with it - It really all started when they were old enough to know that they were having friends over and I didn't have them - I explained to them that having a party with your friends is and should be enough and that goodie bags weren't needed - goodie bags to me are over the top in my opinion and usually containe nothing worthwhile other than little things that just find their way into the garbage or more candy. When my kids were younger and I had themed parties - I sometimes incorporated a craft that they could take home. So, it gave us an activity to do and they they took that home - ie. one time I had a batman party for my son - I had everyone bring a t-shirt - we stamped them with the batman insignia and painted them. or my daughter's tinkerbell party - I ahd them make a doorknocker craft. So, as a result, when my children went to other parties without them, they didn't question it. But, I'm not a fan of huge parties either - never did the "invite the whole class automatically" thing so when you keep them small you can have a few crafts etc. Once when my son had a Dragon Knight party - I had purchased these eggs from the toy store that had dragons in them that could be put together - I hid them up on a hill in 6 different nests and each egg had a knights name on it - all the knights went tearing up thehill = had to run to each of the nests to find their egg and whomever got back first got the extra special "knight chant" sung to him. Then they all found their eggs and put them together and there you go. I much rather like doing things that way but even if you don't leave with anything - I've always told my kids that the opportunity to go have fun with your friends and participate in the games or activities is something that they should be grateful for.

Good luck!

For my son's birthday we did a bunch of games with bean bags that I had made. At the end of the party everyone took one home. We also had the kids decorate their own cupcake with whatever sprinkles they wanted. I think at the end they felt a part of the party and had fun. I had no complaints about no goody bags and the kids thought it was cool to take home a bean bag. The age range was from 3 to 7. I will do goody bags if there is a pinata with perhaps one small trinket, box of crayons or playdoh in it.

L., I had to just chime in here. As a de-clutter & organizer I throw this kind of stuff in the garbage
all the time. But on the other hand children do love getting it at the moment! Once the kids and parents are home it is set aside and they really could care less. You received tons of responses and I am sure more creative ideas. Kid love games, entertainment, decorating cookies or cupcakes and organized art project depending on the age. Times are tuff and you can truly be resourceful. Think GREEN!! Maybe you have a friend who you can entertain them. Bartering is also good.
I always liked the Pizza parlors, mostly Chuckie Cheese and now incredible johns pizza, the price pays off for no goodie bags, and other party decor..not to mention the stress and mess! Good Luck! I seroiusly never knew how much
thought is going into these days.

I've had 2 birthday parties for my 2yr old daughter now and I never had goodie bags. I didn't even know you were supposed to have them and nobody said a thing. Everyone seemed fine without one. Now of course, I didn't have alot of same age kids but 2 or 3 and the rest were older kids and adults. With this economy, don't stress about it. I think it's enough to provide a party with food and games and stuff. My sister always has goody bags and everyone leaves without one because she forgets to hand them out and nobody ever asked where there goody bag was. Hope that helps.

L.,
having goodie bags at a party is not a must, afterall it is the celebration of the child having the birthday but if you feel like you want something to give to the kids then how about a cookie. my nephew just turned 1, and instead of a goody bag my sister in law gave each child a wrapped decorated cookie. (like one you would get in a cookie bouquet.)they were really cute and the kids loved them. she found a woman who made them inexpensively so it was very cost effective I think they were a dollar each. I liked the idea so much that is what I am doing for my son's b-day next month.

my daughter has never cared one jot about goody bags. she ignores the junk until i throw them in the trash. what DOES get her really annoyed is that the pile of presents always gets shoved into the back of the parents' minivan and driven away so she doesn't get to see if the birthday child liked the gift she selected (and more often than not gets no thank you note either), or what else the birthday child got.

Hurray for all the Moms who are realizing that the goodie bags are unneccessary junk! Enough good idea have been given that I don't see a need to try to add to them. I would just like to point out that the 'something' given is the thanks for coming as far as the child is concerned. Most kids aren't old enough to really appreciate the thank you card that arrived in the mail later. However, as I was writing that sentence, this did come to mind... How about having the birthday child make up the thank you card themselves, then put in a page of stickers or other small, flat item with it? Mail it in the name of the child who attended, rather than the parents names. That way the thank you card would be special to the receiving child. I know we like to thank the parents because we know they bought the gift, but most parents are going to appreciate the fact that they bought it in order for their child to give it anyway and you can orally thank them at the party.

Hi there-
I absolutely agree with you. I am planning my little one's second bday and will not be giving out goody bags. I had lots of foam stickers and butterfly wands and foam door hangers with sports stickers for the boys. They got to take home what they made and it wasn't too expensive..and we had lots of left over stickers. This year, we're having a tea party and making lots of different cookies..they can take home a couple different cookies we make ( idefinitely don't want all the cookies left in my house ;0).
Have fun and don't give in to the little bags of junk...why do other children have to get presents just for arriving to a party??? Isn't that the gift they take with them...???Fun at the party!

In this day and age you cant afford to do goodie bags be the first of the mom's to show that the kids are there for the party and the celebration of the birthday not what they are walking away with. They arent your childs true friend if all they came for was a goody bag.

Good Luck - R.

Hi I go back and forth. I have a 10 and 13 year old so I am dredging up the past a bit.
I have done an art project that the kids brought home like for my daughter's 11th in Oct we made "gingerbread" houses for birds to eat and designed for the outside. Very fun and a large (size of a loaf of bread) to take home. That waa a hit. we have also done scavanger hunts for goodies, made headbands, had out door winter picnics and made walnut boats to race in a small stream. This was for my son's 8th who has a January B-day and insisted on a picnic.
Headbands etc. We have got great feedback from parents.
I hate plastic throw aways that end up in landfill.
I want my children and their communities to have fun and be ecologically thoughtful.

One of my daughters favs from other parties include an 80's song mix in 5th grade from a friends party, small ceramic pots that she painted and planted with a flower, pillowcase she painted. Etc... The ideas are endless.
Even when thay were toddlers we made ribbon streamers and twirled them and decorated tops. There a lot of things outside of goodie bags.
Good luck
E.

Daughter just went to a party that didn't have bags of goodies, but did give a book away. That was exciting. (She knows the illustrator, so that made it even more exciting.)

S

Hi L.: I agree with the posters that goody bags aren't necesscary and usually end up 'lost' by either the child or the parent. I do want to mention one thing that I did once but it is expensive. For my son's blessing and first birthday my theme was from caterpillar to butterfly. There are so many options with that theme. I ordered from Butterfly Sky Farms (if I remember correctly) about 10 caterpillars. They all came with the milkweed, the container, netting and everything the kids needed to grow their caterpillar into a chrysalis and watch it turn into a monarch! The kids took care of them (I'm sure with parental help) and one specail day the magical monarch was in the container ready to be set free. It was actually quite beautiful and a great learning experience.

But, again, don't stress about goody bags. My kids don't expect them, nor do I.