Good Eater Is Now Refusing to Eat

I bought the book How to Get Your Kid to Eat...But Not Too Much by Ellyn Sadler. She is a nation-wide nutritionist who actually teaches other nutritionists around the country. It has been very helpful.

Hi A.,
I am a mother of 5 lil boys and it has been my expirence that they eat great until about 2 and 1/2 and then they're determined to control the world and they seem to get hungry again around 5...kindergaren takes a lot out of them :) I agree with Nan...make a big deal about it and it becomes a big deal, I put food on my two year olds plate...sometimes he eats it, sometimes he doesn't. Sweet treats are not offered everynight in our home...maybe 3 out of 7, but they are never offered to the ones that weren't hungry for dinner. I freeze gogurts and offer them as a treat. So even if they didn't eat too much I still feel they're getting something a little better. I also make banana bread, I add a few choc chips instead of nuts and I bake them as mini muffins...those are also great to freeze because you can pull them out as you need them and there's very lil processed sugar in them. A lil dab of applesauce in cottage cheese also seems to thrill them...but like the other's suggested it's not a big deal just change your options once she is ready to eat(yogurt cover raisins are a hit too)if you don't have cookies she can't eat them :)Goodluck!!!

Hi A.,
If she's not eating meals, I would forbid all desserts, even if that means limiting time with the grandparents. I'd suggest allowing her to make choices about her foods. Remember that while we tend to love variety in our diets and the idea of eating the same things over and over again seems torturous to us grownups, kids like the comfort of familiarity. You didn't mention what she does or does not like to eat but if it's been weeks, she must be eating something. Remember that if you can find one healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner she likes, at least she is eating well. I think a lot of parents believe their children must eat 10 different vegetables and 6 different fruits,but really if they eat one green, one yellow-orange veggie, a citrus fruit, maybe one berry type of fruit, they are good.
I'd also suggest giving a variety of things that she can choose herself. If you find that for lunch, you can get her to eat a grilled cheese sandwich, great - put out a serving dish with different compartments, with different raw fruits and veggies. Just leave it out so she can pick what she wants - don't wheedle or suggest or bribe or say anything. I'd do something similar at dinner, find one thing she likes (pasta with butter and cheese, for example) and put out a lot of sides - raw veggies, a cooked veggie, cheese cubes, bread, something different that she hasn't tried before like nuts/olives/chick peas.

Good luck and remember that a lot of kids go through this phase. My kids were always good eaters so I never did vitamins, but if you think she isn't getting sufficient nutrition, I would suggest giving a multivitamin, and speak with your pediatrician, they might suggest pediasure or some other supplement.

3 year olds have stopped growing as much as they did before. They really dont need that much food and when they are urged, coaxed, begged, bribed to eat they learn they have control over their parents. Put a small amount of whatever you are eating on her plate, make sure it is cut up small and then totally ignore her eating, talk to your husband, the baby or ask DD how she enjoyed the days activity. Dont look at her plate, dont rearrange her food or try to give her more. When everyone else is done simply pick up her plate and walk away. If she asks for food later on, make sure it is a piece of fruit and not a cookie. She wont starve. A child's stomach is the size of their fist. Tiny isnt it?

If she's craving desserts it could be she's not getting enough healthy fruit in her diet. Try making a fruit salad or just cut up some fruit for her for breakfast.

Dear A., Many children go through this. It may be their wanting to be independant but stick to your guns and don't give in to sweets. She will eventually get hungry and eat good food if that is all you offer. She could also be resentful of the attention the baby is getting. It is hard to get inside of a childs head. I do know that a mostly carb or sweet diet can lead to addiction and problems with the endocrine system. She needs protein for growth. Keep trying and this should pass. Grandma Mary

Hi A.,

Don't worry. I'm sure this is a phase. The number one thing NOT to do is pressure her to eat. I always say, "To be or not to be" You need to be the boss and the brains and you don't beg or bribe with food. Make sure you have healthy options in your house so she won't just fill up on dessert. What type of foods will she still eat? Is there a certain texture that she is adverse to? Let me know.

Best,
A. Nelms, CHHC
Nutritional Nanny
MMMunch.com