Going to Grandmas Alone!

Updated on March 13, 2014
J.S. asks from Chandler, AZ
16 answers

In a few days, I will be taking my 4.5 year old daughter to my mom and dads in GA. I will be staying with her for 2 days to get her settled, then leaving her with my parents for 8 days while my husband and I take a long overdue cruise! It's our honeymoon we never took, our birthday's, and 5th anniversary present! And my first cruise! I'm a little worried about my daughter as this is the first trip away from us besides an occasional overnight sleepover at her other grandma's house. I'm a list maker, and definitely have one for the trip, but wondering if any of you have any "out of the box" suggestions or a must have that I should make sure to pack for her.

Besides the norm (clothes, pj's, shoes, brush, toothbrush, etc.), she'll be bringing her blankie & must have stuffed animal, some of her own books she can now read and wants to show grammy, and I have a copy of our insurance card, medical consent form, and a temporary Parental Power of Attorney allowing them to make any other parental decisions that may arise. I'll be bringing her car seat as well. Since we are flying across country, she will have a back pack with snacks and stuff to keep her entertained on the flight. What am I missing?

We plan to purchase a wifi package either thru the ship or our cell phone carrier so we can skype her while we are sailing. And I've talked to my husband's ex and she said my mom could call her any time so my daughter can talk to her half siblings if she's having a rough time and is missing everyone. She said she has skype too.

Also, this is my first cruise, so if you have a must have for that, please let me know!

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I think you have it all covered. I probably would not Skype for the simple fact that she might really want you there and you can't be there for her. Besides she is going to have a blast with the grands and may not even miss you if they keep her going for the next few days. Grands have a way of doings a little bit different than mom and dad and that's fine.

Go, have a great anniversary, happy birthday and happy everything else. Enjoy being a couple on their belated honeymoon. Take in the moon if it is out and get to know each other again. Darn it, now I want to come along and enjoy the scenery.

the other S.

3 moms found this helpful

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I would put some extra clothes in the backpack for "accidents" that may occur. Travelling is always stressful, especially by plane, so she may have an accident even though she hasn't had one in a long time!
Anything else you forget, Grandma can get. There are stores everywhere.
Have a great time on your cruise. I am jealous!
L.

8 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

As a parent who has left her children for weeks at a time with my husband's family since they were 1 1/2 years old (without Skype or regular phone access), I can assure you that this experience will probably be wonderful for all.

[Sorry, sent this before I was done...I'm adding to my answer.] I do think that you should give your parents a way for your daughter to call you if needed, however I agree with others that she probably will have a harder time adjusting if she talks to you every day, and it may make you miss her more too when you really should be just having a total change of pace hanging with your hubby. I do think your parents will find it helpful if you give them some general ideas about her eating and sleeping habits, so they know what to expect and what will probably make things work smoothly. Not a list of instructions or by-the-minute schedule, since part of staying with Grandma+Grandpa IS having a different routine than at home, however some general guidelines would help them. My mother asked me about my kids' favorite foods before we visited and wanted to know the general bedtime when we left the kids with her for an evening. Also, the waterproof sheet or whatever you use to prevent mattress damage in case of accidents is a good idea. They probably don't have those around the house anymore.

Have a fabulous time!

6 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

She may be 100% fine EXCEPT when she skypes with you. Dont be hurt if Grandma asks that you dont skype because it upsets her. My nephew spent a week with us at that age and had a great time all day every day, but every night he called home and cried and cried while on the phone. His poor parents! Get a book like the Berenstien Bears week with grandparents

6 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

Being a Grandma I've got a different point of view on this. I'd need a list of things she like to eat (what her normal meals are) a list of her favorite snacks, and an overview of her daily routine. I'd look forward to visiting with you for a couple days but after you left the fun would begin.

Her stay at her grandparents is HER VACATION FROM YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND. You parents should have a bunch of fun activities for her to do ranging from playing at the park to having a movie night or two. Suggest a visit to the library. Mine has dvds and the kids love picking out a movie or two and a couple books. A visit to a Joanns or Michaels can give them a chance to pick up a couple crafts to make a fun afternoon.

I'd suggest not skyping. If you catch her at a bad time and she's crying you'll feel terrible and she'll feel worse. Instead just have mom and dad snap a couple pictures and email them. Or have them set up a box of "Things I need to show Mom and Dad" so that your daughter can feel that connection if she needs it.

Don't over think it. Just have fun. She will too. After all she's put up with you for 4.5 yrs and could use a break. lol

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

oh, GOOD for you! and good for your daughter! i'm always so sad when i hear of bear-parents who never let their cubs have time with their grands. i'm so grateful my parents weren't that way- my special times with my grandmothers (grandpas too, but i really loved my grandmas) are some of my best childhood memories. and the dynamic really changes when mom and dad aren't there, in a magical way.
try to keep your worry minimal. she'll pick up on it, even subliminally, and wonder what's bugging mom so much.
it sounds as if on a practical level you've got it covered.
i would be wary about skyping. on the surface it sounds terrific, but it can have the unintended backlash of yoinking your child back out of Wonderland at Grandma's and reminding her I MISS MY MOMMY! be prepared to opt out of the skyping if it upsets her.
have a great time!
:) khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Sounds like you've got it covered! Don't worry...the grandparents can handle it.

3 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Our kids stayed alone with Grandma and Grandpa when my daughter had just turned 2. I was soo nervous, but it went fine. They spoiled her and grandma cuddled with her each night. They took the kids to do fun things and grandpa even went out and bought his granddaughter a bicycle bc she wanted one like her brother! Who buys a 2 year old a bike! She had grandpa wrapped around her finger! Anyway, I was worried sick about leaving her, but it went really well. And my husband and I had the BEST 6 days in Mexico...I wish we could do it again! It was so nice to just be a couple together and not parents. We really needed that.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

One important thing, IMHO, is for her to think SHE is getting to GO somewhere, not being left somewhere. So all of your talk should be about how much fun SHE is going to have on HER trip. Keep the excitement about your own trip away from her.

Also, don't skype too much. All that will do is make her repeat the leaving scenario over and over again. A skype every couple of days should be more than sufficient.

Hoping all of you enjoy your respective trips!

2 moms found this helpful
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T.T.

answers from San Antonio on

(maybe this is just me)
When my dad used to go out of town for work when i was 5 or 6 he used to wear a t-shirt to bed the night before he left and he would give it to me the morning he would leave then thats the shirt I would sleep in, it smelled like him. (or when i was sick or scared, he'd let me use his jacket, that always made me feel so safe)

When I had to travel for work, my little girl (7 or so at the time) would also wear a shirt I had worn once, she liked the smell. She will be 13 in 14 days and she still grabs a hand full of my hair and presses it to her face. (my hair is about 2 feet long so it doesn't hurt)

Ask your daughter if she'd like a special night time shirt that belongs to mommy or daddy, who knows it may work keep her calm at night.

2 moms found this helpful

R.X.

answers from Houston on

You all, the other mamas too, have got to be joking. It's Grandmas! It's not sleep away camp!

I totally disagree with SH and her flower bearer who say to "make sure they stick to a routine". Huh? You can't make sure anything in someone's home!

Gee whiz. Get on the boat, pay attention to your hubby, and leave G. to enjoy the child. Forget the Skyping, too. As a grandmother, I would not get entwined with that trap.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

If you like, you could pack your daughter a little surprise - one for every day. It could be a *very* small present, a treat, even an "I love you" note.

Skype is good. It's wonderful what technology we have these days!

Your daughter will pick up her attitude about this trip from the people around her. If you worry, she'll worry. If you're happy about this opportunity for her, she'll be happy - or, at least, she won't worry as much.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Keep it Simple! You're going overboard (really did I just say that). If you Skype you're bringing in a whole side that should be better left alone and it'll make it harder for grandparents and child. They may have a screaming child on their hands and don't know what to do. Just let her be there and enjoy. It'll be hard enough for the little one to deal with this.

I had to keep my grandson at this age for a couple days and he cried at bed time because he wanted his parents and kept crying, "I want daddy." Mind you I keep him most of the week. He got through it okay but I sure hated to see him cry. So this is a biggie for little one. You Are Worrying too much. How are you going to enjoy your trip? You may as well take her with you if you're going to worry about it so. Do you trust grandma and grandpa to give her love and comfort ---- Yes --- then let it Be.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

If this feels like a good idea to you, plan on skyping her only once a day, say like at bedtime to read her a story, and then for 10 minutes tops. having you constantly available by skype might a. keep you from enjoying your vacation, and b. heighten feelings of homesickness if any.

best,
F. B.

2 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

When my kids were young and staying with my parents for a few days, they would make a list with my dad of all the things they wanted to do. Then every day they would check things off.

He would also write a list for me of everything they did each day (they would tell him what to write). That was usually pretty funny - you never know what was really significant to them. Then they would give me a play-by-play of each day when I got home.

Skyping could be good or bad with her depending on the moment. Remain upbeat and reiterate how much fun she's having. Just enjoy your time and try not to stress.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Make sure they follow some sort of bedtime routine. With her.
Hopefully similar to what you do.
Or per what she needs, at Grandma's.
And make sure they don't keep her up at night, too late. Or later than her usual bedtime. Otherwise, when you are all back home, she may not want to, go to bed at her usual time.

And, if she is still not dry at night (which is common at this age), and needs a sleep diaper type thing, tell Grandma. And pack those nighttime diapers. And make sure they don't make her feel embarrassed about it. And hopefully, Grandma is good about helping with her bathroom needs, at night, even during sleep.
AND maybe pack a waterproof bed pad too, for her, so that if she wets the bed, it is NO big drama or problem. Kids this age, have nighttime accidents. Common. Normal. But kids may "worry" about this, with someone other than their own Mommy.
My son was, at that age. If I was not home to put him to bed at night.

So that is my one, tip for you.
;)

1 mom found this helpful
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