Hi! My 4-yr-old neice has been potty trained with no problems for almost a year. Suddenly, however, she has started having "accidents" in her panties at least twice per week. My sister says when asked why, all the replies are something to the effect of "I'm sorry; it was an accident." She has just been to her "Kindergarten Round-up" last week, but the first of the accidents was in the week just prior to that. I don't think her family talked up the "Round-up" very much, but do you think this might be the source of her issue? Or do you think it's just a phase...or do you have any other advice? Any help I can send her way would be appreciated! Thanks!
Does she get enough fiber? Have they researched encopresis?
Hello R.-
Often potty training set-backs happen because of a new stress, so she could be nervous about starting Kindergarten or another life changing issues. If you think this is the issue, talk to her about Kindergarten, and allow her to talk about her fears. You can lead the talk by talking about how you were scared to go to kindergarten and what you did.
I always tell the parents I coach not to punish for accidents, that only leads to anxiety and stress. I also suggest parent expect/encourage the child who has accidents, (after potty training is mastered), to help clean the mess. Especially when parents think the accident is due to not trying.
I hope this helps.
R. Magby
I think it could be lots of things. First it is not unusual for her to have an occasional accident. Especially if she was potty trained at an early age..
The other thing is that at this age, children are VERY focused at play. Since play is their "work" she does not want to stop and go, she could be having so much fun, she does not want to stop playing, thinking she can hold it a little longer.
And yes, being a little stressed or excited about an event can also bring this on. She may be worried and not even realize it. She may be worried she is not really a big girl yet, even though big girl events are about to happen.
Just reassure her she is going to do great at school. That everybody is like her and all of the kids are going to get to learn at the same time! Also for her to just do her best.
At some point her mom and dad need to just ask her privately, "are you excited about school? What are you excited about?Are you worried about anything?"
We found out our daughter was worried about carrying her lunch tray.. Nothing else.. so we practiced by going to a cafeteria her by our home a few times.
This sounds very familiar. Our daughter was 5 and in Kindergarten and had this problem and we discovered that it was related to constipation and leakage. She wasn't having regular daily bowl movements. She was eating alot of dairy products which contributed and she was "holding" it until there was leakage--making it an accident and something she really couldn't control. We had to do a fiber cleanse with lots of liquids and ten we reminded her to go each day and checked to be sure she was regular again. According to our pediatrician and her teacher It is fairly common for this age group to become irregular and begin to have constipation with uncontrollable leakage because they are so busy they don't try to "go." Many of them don't like the hassle of wiping because they are in a hurry. Some just can't make themselves "go" during scheduled restroom breaks.
