My husband and I converted to Catholic at Easter after spending months 7m or so going to class learning of the faith. Neither my husband nor I had any relatives or friends that we knew of that were Catholic. We had to pick Godparents for our son. He was a little over a yr old. Since we didn't know any one we picked a couple that taught the class. They seemed to be the perfect people and didnt have any children of their own. They were great up until I was about 5m pregnant with my 2nd child. I had to be put on bed rest and I have several health issues that I didn't make it to Mass much. My husband is a leo and he works most Sundays. They never once called to see if everything was ok. They never reached out to us to see why we were not there(they were also mine & husbands sponsors) We had asked them about being our daughters God parents as soon as I found out we were pregnant. I called to let them know that I was being induced and the date time hospital etc. They never showed nor called. When the baby turned 1m we went back to Mass. They never speak or anything. I am confused of what is going on. Why would they shun my family and me? My feelings are really hurt but mostly I am disappointed in them. I feel like they have not been playing their role as Godparents or sponsors. What should I do? I am at a loss.
We did not go through the whole process just to have our Children baptized. We really love Mass and the faith. My husband attends on his Sundays off(they knew all of this before hand) and I take the children EVERY Sunday except for last Sunday because my daughter(7wks old)
had to have emergency surgery Sat. morning No they were NOT basic strangers I knew them for a about a year before I started classes. Then we attended classes an additional 7m before we chose them as GP. Yes I know them outside of church. No their was no sickness, illness. My son was 1 when we chose them. Then A YEAR later I became pregnant again. I would not pick someone I only knew a month or two. I am not placing judgement on them. I was simply asking a question. I said I was disappointed that is all. Sue you seem to be very rude. May peace be with you as well. I stated he was a leo to say that he can not attend every Sunday because he is out protecting other families.
I feel like the traditional role of Godparents is no more. People don't understand the responsibility that goes along with it anymore.
My point is, don't take it personally. They're breaking a rule they didn't know existed.
Just communicate with them, maybe start off and speak with your priest about the 'modern' role of Catholic Godparents to help you understand better.
It sounds like to me they feel like you didn't live up to their expectations and they moved on. It's been my experience that a lot of people who go to church on a regular basis and call themselves Christians, have very little in the way of tolerance and acceptance. God doesn't turn his back on those who can't/don't make it to church, but the church members sure do! They probably thought that you went through all of that JUST to have the kids baptized.
I don't think I would do anything but let it go. These are not the kind of people I would want in my life - they seem selfish and self-centered and not very christian-like.
there's a lot that hits me wrong with this...
you chose basic strangers. You picked them because they seemed to be "perfect" & without kids. & you consider their behavior to be "great up until 1/2way thru your pregnancy"...when you became unable to attend Mass.
During your time on bedrest & in the hospital, did you ever request Communion be brought to you....or did you just skip? That's very important to devout believers!
Did you have any contact with them outside of the Church? Did you socialize at all in any manner whatsoever?
I don't consider their behavior to be "shunning". I consider their sponsorship to be their duty to the Church, & not a social duty to you. As your own family life unfolded, you became.....(sigh) needier....& perhaps, they just didn't have time to help you. I agree that common courtesy would have been nice....but sometimes you just have to distance yourself. :)
As I read thru your post, it's all about you & your family. What was going on with the couple? Was there illness, was there upheaval....what do you really know about their lives? & ....in some context, boy - you sure do place judgment on them!
& !! What does your husband being a leo....have to do with it? I'm confused! Peace be with you.....
EDIT: contrary to your belief, I do not consider myself to be rude. I answered in context to your own words. Perhaps I am reading them different, but after all...isn't that what creates the very essence of our individuality? We can only answer posts such as this...by & through our own interpretations of your written words.
I don't consider their behavior to be that of "shunning", I don't consider it their responsibility to be "there" for you throughout your time of need. Yes, their actions speak of a lack of common courtesy....& only directly asking them will ever provide you with an answer.
Throughout your post, you place judgment upon them. To say or think differently is absurd! You clearly state that you originally considered them to be "perfect people"....& in the end, you state that you are "disappointed in them & they have not been playing their role as Godparents or sponsors". How can you declare this to not be judgmental?
I think, in the end, it is fair to say: these people have hurt your feelings. They have made the choice to disengage from your life. Please allow them the courtesy of making this decision....because, after all, this is their choice.
Oh, & still don't get the "leo" thing....is that a colloquial term for police officer or firefighter? To me "leo" is an astrological term! Again, Peace be with you....
You actually have no idea what is going on in their lives. They may be facing their own challenges right now. Some of your expectations seem a little out of the norm for the role of God parents. They aren't the mass police that are supposed to call you when you don't show up. They probably just assumed you caught a different mass. God parents play a supporting role but the actual responsibility to raise your children to know God is on you and your husband. What about just inviting them over for coffee and discussing it like adults?
If you are wondering what is going on with them, why don't you call them up and ask them over for dinner or lunch? Then you can say something like you haven't heard from them lately and you wondered if something was wrong. One of the things that annoys me about the Catholic faith is that at least one of the God parents has to be Catholic. This can be very hard. We have 2 Godmothers because of this rule. We do not have a strong relationship with any male Catholic person. I don't think that our God parents, and they are relatives, would notice that I wasn't at Mass or show or call at the hospital. I also wonder what your definition of Godparents is. Some people believe that the Godparents would take custody of your kids if something happened to you. I believe that the sole role of the Godparent is to help the child with their religious faith. Maybe they are confused about your expectations of them.
I was raised Catholic and my godparents (aunt and uncle) were only responsible to teach us about the religion. I think if you were expecting more then maybe you should have gotten to know them a little better first. I am sorry you are going through this. I left the Catholic Church because I don’t like that they do not practice what they preach. I have known several Catholic churches that turned their backs on people when they really needed guidance (some family and a couple of friends).
It's unfortunate that a faith has to have God parents or sponsors that are not really tied with your family. It's like assigning a faux friend to be there to support you the rest of your life, when it would be much more meaningful and reliable to have a trusted family member of dear friend in that position. I wouldn't think bad of them, they simply have their own lives and you weren't' really close to them to begin with in the first place. I don't think people fully grasp the role of Godparents anyways.
Take your time and choose God parents for your daughter with care. I'm sure they're are plenty of great people at your church. I hope you find them. Maybe there is an older couple who is not extremely busy and who does not have grandchildren around would really love to be surrogate grandparents! Maybe your priest or someone would help you find the right couple.
Well, I'm from a large Catholic family. I have three kids, each of whom are up to date with their sacraments, and have their own set of Godparents.
Within our family, it's been traditional for the Godparents to be involved begining with baptism. It is their role to aid the parents in guiding their Godchild on a path of Christian faith. This includes being directly involved in the child's sacraments. I certainly would never expect them to be at the HOSPITAL. In fact, it was not until plans were being made for the baptism that they played any role whatsoever.
So really, they're not GRANDparents, they're GODparents.
I don't see how they've dropped the ball as Godparents if the child in question has not even been baptised yet.
:)
My husband and I also had a sponsor couple when we got married in the Catholic church. We did have 2 meetings with them, counceling sessions, but they were not otherwise involved with our marriage, unless of course we'd asked them to be. They were there to support and guide us, but not to tell us what to do.
