Giving Away Baby Stuff!

Yes, and it's not an insult. People have different tastes and some kids don't like wearing frilly clothes.

My SIL gave me tons of clothes, which I really appreciated, but I only kept a few things for my kids. I gave the rest away or gave certain outfits back if she specified.

It happens. Sometimes it's a matter of fit, my sister in law's kids have been known to skip entire sizes. My next door neighbor and I trade clothes....I give her son my son's outgrown clothes and she gives me her daughter's stuff for my daughter. Sometimes as nice as the clothes are, we just aren't a fan of the other one's style. Sometimes her son with sensitive skin can't handle the fabrics my son wore. It's no biggie to us. We have an agreement to use it and then pass it on to someone who could use it. But I suppose it could be hurtful. Another neighbor gave her friend many nice clothes and was also hurt that she never saw the child wear anything. She finally asked why. The woman was embarrassed and just didn't want a big deal made out of the hand-me-downs. She didn't want to be at a play date or church and hear "Isn't she cute in that outfit? I remember when my little one wore it." Her friend didn't want to feel like a charity case. Come to find out her daughter had worn all the clothes, just not when my friend was around. I wouldn't take it so personally.

It shouldn't hurt your feelings. You gave the dresses to them. Do you see this child everyday? How do you know you missed the day they wore it. Depending on how old the child is...I wouldn't be putting my daughter in a beautiful frilly dress without a special occasion to go to as I would not want her to ruin the dress.

I had a friend give me some clothes and my daughter outgrew them or they didn't fit right before the season was right. I also had friends give me maternity clothes that don't look right on me. I can't imagine they're insulted they do not see me or my daughter wearing that stuff all the time.

You just never know the circumstances. But if you're going to have hurt feelings because this friend doesn't show off the outfits you chose to give her...just don't give her the dresses anymore.

P.S. I'm confused why you have a few posts that are similar in nature/question.

.

Hi D., You shouldn't feel hurt or insulted at all. You gave the clothes away and if you wanted to see the child dressed up you should have said something at the time like "I can't wait to see what she looks like in this dress." Or "Can you send me a picture of her in this dress?" I have a friend with 13 children and I have given her loads of clothes over the years and I can honestly say I've never seen one stitch on any of them...but I know they are appreciated, worn and passed on if possible to other friends. If you don't like what your friend has done then I suggest you turn to donating to a church or looking into a good consignment shop. Best wishes.

We had several people give us clothing and items when both of our kids were born. We were able to use some and had to forgo others either because of size differences, etc.

Though I'd state it a little differently than the previous mom, I do think part of the giving process is understanding that not everyone may share the same tastes. Also, new parents may be more likely to desire getting their kids new things. My sister took every hand me down she could get, but she also got weekly Gymboree items from her mother-in-law.

We tend to buy our own clothes though we've accepted many hand-me-downs, too.

We can't tell you not to be hurt and insulted - reactions are hard to control. Perhaps next time, try not to set-up the expectation that everyone will admire the items as much as you and feel good that you're able to pass along something that you hope they'll enjoy

You gave it them, if they choose not to use it that is up to them. How about you get over it, be an adult and understand that not everything that is your taste is someone elses taste (not matter the price). Also are you around that child 24/7 maybe they have worn the outfit but you just did not see it... or maybe the child wore it and did not like it (uncomfortable for that child) and the parent decided not to put the outfit back on the child.

Did the person say they wanted the clothes? Did you ask if they were interested in the clothes before you gave them?

I have been very appreciative of toys and some clothes that friends have given me. They have usually asked first to make sure it was something I was interested in, or given me the clothes they knew suited me and my son's style (no athletic gear - I always say, "he's not on anyone's TEAM yet"!). So I am conscious now, too, when passing things on, to make sure it is something the other person will appreciate.

Maybe next time it would be worthwhile to take your stuff to a consignment store instead. If the clothes are that nice you would probably have good luck selling them!

Also, some people were taught to "save" nice clothes for special occasions. That could be all that is happening here.

yeah thats hard... i mean, i got some as gifts for my son as well. To be honest, there are very few events where you'll take your kids to that warrants wearing a beautiful frilly expensive outfit (A random wedding??) And even at that, kids just aren't that comfortable in them.

Initially with some of them I just put him in it, and then took a picture of him modeling it so that I could send it to the giftor because I felt bad - but in all honesty, the outfits never got much wear outside of that.

In the future, cute or even "trendy" COMFY clothes is more appreciated for kids & babies.

For me this is a "kind of" response. When my first girls were born, my inlaws gave me 2 very pretty white dresses for them. But the dresses were too big and by the time they got to wear them, it was winter. They pretty much wore the size to match their age: size 6-9 months at 6 months. She got really upset when she saw me sell them at a garage sale. I didn;t know anyone to give them to so, what was I going to do. I told her why they were never worn and she was fine with it. On the other hand, a friend of mine gave me clothes for my son but they were too big. I put them in the closet and when they would fit him, he only liked one item. I was not going to force him to wear them. But I also have a friend that gave a lot of clothes to a woman she knew because the woman was "having such a hard time and I have no money for clothes for the baby". She saw her a few weeks later selling them at a flea market. My friend confronted her and the woman told her that since she was given the clothes she could do whatever she wanted. My friend thinks she only wanted free stuff to sell, not use. The clothes could have gone to someone really in need.

Hi D.-

I can tell you this....I received BRAND NEW beautiful frilly expensive baby clothes as gifts from family members that my kids never wore! It wasn't anything personal it was just that I never had an opportunity for my kids to wear anything like that when they were the appropriate size. I've always just been a more practical person and my babies wore casual, comfortable clothes when they were little (and now too for that matter). I always hung those clothes up in the closet and would say "we'll wear that on a special occasion" and nothing ever came up. Even now my MIL will give my daughter cute summer dresses every year and I'll let her play dress up in them at home but she doesn't wear them out because they are impractical for her to play in.

By the way, all of the frilly baby clothes that my kids didn't wear I did pass on to other moms and I have no clue whether or not they used them and I really don't care.

K.