My daughter only has boy friends in her second grade class. All she talks about is Cameron and Evan and Tim (and Michael and David and Jacob...). I have asked her if she doesn't have any girl friends. She says, "Everyone is my friend," but she never talks about girls. I was thinking, "Gee, I hope she doesn't grow up to be one of those women who doesn't like other women," if you know what I mean. Now another mother told me the girls are very cliquish (sp?)and my daughter hasn't been included in any of the cliques. All of her non-school friends are girls. Should I be concerned? She seems happy and loves school.
I would not worry at this point. When I was a kid, I had pretty much only boy friends too. I was a huge tomboy and hated dolls and playing house and dress up. In fact, back in the early '70's I was the only girl who wore pants to school. I ended up fine and have had plenty of girlfriends. The tomboyishness did stick with me though, because I have had two boys and have always been glad I never had girls - lol!
My daughter is in grade 3, same thing. I figured out what it was; her friends from second grade had a ring leader, my daughter is cute, good in sports, smart ect. ect. so the ringleader had the other 2 girls ignore my daughter the following year. I have seen her attempt this with my daughter against another child in Grade 2, my daughter just said, 'no, I like her, I don't know what you mean.' Grade 3 rolls around, her friend she stood up for moves, and those 3 girls ostricize her. My daughter is now friends with only boys. I learned that she had asked her best friend from last year over 5x, recieved rejections everytime. I learned that the ringleader said she would only come over when we had our backyard pool clean and running, but no until then. It is that disgusting. I spoke to parents - two of them could care a less and said 'let the girls work it out' another one was shocked that their daughter was like that and insisted she come over. She did and acted very carefully around me as she knew she wasn't very nice to my kid. In anycase, I did report this cliqueyness to my daughter's teacher, she got on it, the principal got on it and insisted our daughter join the school track team, make a speech at the district, you name it...my kid's in a great school. On my end, I had the nieghbourhood girls come over, had her in camps all summer and have her on a sportsteam for the fall. My daughter has great self esteem, yet doesn't recognize her one friend's manipulations. She's just had it, 'girls are stupid, so I want to be friends with boys...' So be it...
Girls can be very cliquish! The key is that she likes school. Let her be happy. It's nice that she sees that "everyone" is her friend. You will have school conferences very soon. It's a good time to ask how your child "socializes" and if there are any concerns that the teacher may want to address in this area. Third grade was the most challenging for my daughter. There were some hard life lessons that she learned about being "in a girl triangle". These girl cliques and "triangle" relationships are rough - just a bunch of nonsense! Maybe she sees that at this age and doesn't want to be part of it. Sounds like you are raising a confident child! Second grade is such a learning curve anyway. As a parent, I watched my childrens' personalities really blossom in 2nd grade. I would just keep talking to her about "all her friends", boys and girls. May be even ask her "gee, who are your girl friends in school, if she hasn't mentioned any girls - who do you sit next to in class? (because in 2nd grade, that "constitutes" as a friend!) The teacher may even be putting her by "all boys" because she tolerates sitting next to them and they may be better behaved sitting next to your daughter. Good luck to you!
My daughter is also in second grade and is friends with boys and girls. In kindergarten her best friend was a boy and even said she loved him and he loved her. My daughter really likes to play with biys. She likes the fact that they are sometimes more active, horse playing and all. She plays with girls also, but drawn to boys. I'm sure your daughter plays with girls at school and talks with them, but the boys just may be more interesting and that's why she always talks about the boys. When my daughter talks about school, with boys it's always fun silly stuff and with the girls it's usually this girl did that or said this and more of complaining. Girls I think tend to compete with eachother even at an early age, and with boys there isn't any competition. I wouldn't worry about it, if she says she is freinds with everyone then I'm sure she is, but the boys may be more fun for her right now to talk about. Hope this helps you.
I wouldn't worry about it if she is not complaining about feeling left out. Girls can be very cliquish around this age. One of my girls is a very girly-girl and the other is more a tomboy. She always talked about Alexis and Jose, etc while the first talked about Melanie and Julie. Friend groups will change as she gets older.
Hi M.! I wouldn't worry too much about the friend thing cause I was the same way as a child. I think that maybe she doesn't quite get "in to" the girlie things the others are. I was a bit of a tom boy for a while and still am but have found plenty of female friends over the years but still find that i can relate to men better (just one of those things). So maybe she just hasn't found that girl to bond with yet don't worry she's still young.
As long as she has girlfriends out of school and she is finding some friends whether boys or girls in school it is good. Girls are cliquish, which is so hard for mom's to go through a second time with their daughters. But as long as she isn't showing or telling you that she is affected I wouldn't worry about it. Do stay alert to her behavior to make sure it doesn't become an issue in the future.
Don't worry about her. This was me at one point too. In fact, I still have many guy friends (and being an engineer doesn't help that one!) but I am well-adjusted (if I do say so myself) and have always been happy. And I have lots of women friends too - espeically now that I"m a mom. As long as your daughter is self-confident and happy, who cares?
