My son is 12. He will not wipe is bottom all the time. I am so lost of what to do. I know that it is a lazy behavior, how do I make it stop? I have tried making him wash them out by hand and it did not work. I am thinking about going to the bathroom with him everytime, taking a bath instead of shower and making him do the report. If there are anymore suggestions I am up for them.
Trust me (and this come from experience!) he will only have to wash his underwear out by hand once.
Good luck!
make him wash his own underwear by hand? that's the only thing I can think of! good luck!
My daughter is more motivated to wipe well when we make those flushable wet wipes available to her. You don't have the get the juvenile-looking box; I believe that Cottonelle and Charmin make plain-looking ones for adults too.
Good luck.
I stopped a little boy from doing this by making him wash them out by hand it only took a few time and he decided it was not the easy way out.
Have him research Pinworms and write a report on it. Pinworms are tiny visible worms which will appear around his anus between his buttocks and are visible at night, between the buttocks with a flashlight. That should encourage him to wipe.
Buy him dark plaid boxers. Walmart has them, and skid marks won't show. Letting him wash the underwear is also a good idea!
Instead of a shower, have him take baths so his bottom will soak clean. Yes, like babies because babies don't wipe.
Has he ever learned to wipe? Unless you are just now potty-training, a 12-year-old should not need his mama in the bathroom with him! Does his dad have decent personal hygiene? If so, ask dad to talk to your son. If this doesn't work for you, my earlier suggestion is one that has worked at my house. Good luck!
I agree that making him wash them out by hand may help, but you also may want to have him do his own laundry too.
Another thing that may help is buying the flush-able wipes. It may not totally be laziness but just that he is not able to clean himself well. Using the flush-able wipes should help him too.
My son is 8 and occasionally I have this issue too. since I've made him wash them out by hand it hasn't been as bad. Understand that every now and then it still may be a problem, but hopefully not as much!
To get his attention if this continues, my husband suggested to have you or your husband wipe his bottom each time he goes to the bathroom when he is around. Maybe even while out and about since your son seems confused about how it is supposed to be done properly.
Remind him that he can get an infection from the waste left on his skin. Not to mention a diaper type rash.
Ask him how will he feel if while changing clothes for gym, some of the guys notice this? He will NEVER live it down.
Does he have an odor? I would not allow him to sit on any furniture.
Has his father spoken to him about this? How about his siblings, what if they talk about this to any of his friends. He would be mortified.
If he doesn't wipe his underwear must get dirty. How about standing over him to supervise while he handwashes his underwear until everything is out. Getting his hands into it might be an incentive.
I think twelve is way too old to have an adult escort in the restroom and especially to have an adult wipe your behind!!! I think this is a sensitive issue and should be handled carefully. At this age there is so much going on psychologically that it is imperative to talk to a professional on how to handle this. i second flushable wipes for health reasons, but i think this runs deeper than that.
Make him wear the dirty underwear around his neck. Sounds harsh, but it worked for my sister in law.
My son is also 12, and this condition started out as encopresis a few of years ago. We have since solved the encopresis after several months of occasional prescribed cleanses, and by taking regular fiber, and modifying his diet to include more beans, whole grains, fruits and vegs, snacks like home popped popcorn, and much less processed, low fiber foods. Behavior modification in the form of potty breaks at regular intervals, and lowering the stress of his life somewhat seemed to help. He still has a refusal to wipe his butt after defecating. He tells me that he doesn't like 'touching poop'. I've lost track of the toilets he's plugged up with extreme amounts of toilet paper, and of how many pairs of underpants have been tossed or hidden to destroy evidence. I'd be a rich lady if I'd bought stock in Hanes a few years ago. He's been in therapy for 2 years now, with not much behavioral change to show for it. It is so distressing for him and everyone involved; his father just denies it because he doesn't want to deal with it. I feel so bad for my son, who is on the brink of teendom and everything that comes with that.
We have done the rewarding, the dire consequence threatening, the withholding, the monitoring, the underpants washing, the warnings about other kids shunning him, the therapy, the gastroenterologists, the x-rays, the cleanses, ETC. Round and round it goes. I am sure that this wreaks havoc on his fragile self-esteem. It is so sad to see him stunting his own potential like this! In the back of my mind, I am hoping that one day he'll wake up and start taking care of his personal hygiene. I have recently installed a box of disposable vinyl gloves for him to put on when he wipes, so he doesn't have to touch anything. He also has an aversion to washing his hair. Anyone have any pertinent suggestions? Thanks!
