Getting Help for Daughter

Is the father a good father? Sometimes people who are bad to their spouses are still decent parents. It sounds like the children need to be in a safe place while Mom works through this traumatic time.

Take her and the children in, set some strong rules.
Let your daughter rest quitely for about two days and then she needs to see a dr. to get on med's. Sit down with her and listen to her and then help her come up with a new plan that will help her and the children get back up on their feet. There needs to be lots of love and fun times right now. Do fun stuff with her and the kids, play at the park, go for a walk, play cards or board games, color or draw pictures. It doesn't matter how much it cost to have fun together, just as long as you all are together as a family.

For me, you really need to pray to the Lord for his help on this.

I wish you the best.

GoD bless and takecare. = )

Local domestic violence shelters will help with getting her on her feet, counseling for her and the kids, help with housing, support, etc. She will need to want to get away from him. It is so sad, I am so sorry. Maybe you can help with getting the kids into counseling if they are in school.
I worked in domestic violence shelters, being in that type of relationship is very isolating and destroys self esteem. Try to offer her the option. goodl luck!

Hello D., I have a soft spot for this situation as I have seen it personally 2 times with ones I love& I have been a foster parent. You daughter is making serious comments about not wanting to live. She has every chance of having her children given to the father & loosing permission to see them without supervision, because he can claim her unstable and a danger to the children. You might find that a hospital which has seen many horrible situations will want to keep her for observation & talk with crisis councilor. If it is possible to get even temporary guardianship of the children that could get the children the things they need. Sadly many will tell your daughter/you,that she has to want help bad enough to give up thoughts of what would she like(killing herself) and do what is best for her children. The children are in chaos and their world as they know it has been turned upside down-- you may not know that the mess of the parents is all they know and may consider this as normal for a family. Often if you leave out the parents helplessness and ask for help for the children they will be given help. This may take her getting past the shock of the changes herself and being sure she isn't just going to go back into it. Good Luck & I encourage you to take care of yourself so you have the strength to do what be done. Hope you let us know what happens.

Can she and the kids live with you?

I had to be on an overnight involuntary stay at the hospital for depression. It was horrible! I don't feel like I got the help I needed either. I wanted to start anti-depressants but they said I'd have to first set up an appointment with an pyschologist. I was so focused on getting out and getting back to my son, I answered all their questions as I thought they'd want to hear them (not even thinking about how I was truthfully feeling.) I was released the following day.
I didn't have extra income to spend on therapy but slowly things got better. I have a husband who supports me and whom I love dearly. Things between us have not always been good though.
I am so so sooooo sorry for your daughter. I would advise getting her into therapy if that's an option. It sounds like she definitley needs to leave her husband and come to terms with that - hard as it may be.
I would make sure to get her to agree to getting help and only call 911 or force her to the emergency room if it is a dire, true emergency, situation. She will thank you later! It is so tough to lose face like that. Not everyone would see it as I do, but it is hard to not have any choice. A lot of family members of mine see therapy, anti-depressant and the like as shameful. I guess that made it harder.
One thing my sister told me that helped was to see evey day as a gift. She was like, "tomorrow I could find out my oldest child has cancer or something." As down as your daughter might be, things could always be worse and she needs to learn to aprreciate what is good in her life.
One other suggestion is Tai Chi or yoga or any calming activity that might help her clear her mind. Maybe you could offer to baby-sit while she tries something like this.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If she is expressing thoughts of suicide, you can have her committed to a hospital for 48 hour observation, I think. My heart goes out to you. Please be the advocate for these kids. They need a stable influence right now.

If she hasn't gotten a lawyer you may want to. If she is threatening to take her life and things look THAT unstable, you need to do what you can to protect your grandchildren! Have you tried CPS (child protective services)?
Unfortunately it is very hard to take children from their parents, even when they have documented issues. Talk to a family lawyer, if you don't like him, talk to another! Document EVERYTHING! If your daughter comes to you with a bruise on her arm, note the date and her reason for it. Stress to the lawyer that you are concerned about the children's welfare and the possibility that she is unstable. Be aware that your daughter may turn against you in this but at this point your priority is not her but her kids.

I am truly sorry. Good luck.

I was hospitalized years ago for depression, as well as several members of my family, and a friend who has been hospitalized several times. It's scary but really not a huge deal. If you take her to the ER and tell the staff she is not safe, they will put her on a 72 hour hold. She will stay there for that 72 hours, and maybe a day or two more [though I believe you can walk out after the 72 hours], and talk to mental health workers and attend group therapy and have all aspects of her health assessed.They'll help her develop a safety plan and set her up with therapy and give her resources to get help out of the hospital- or maybe even have her attend an outpatient therapy. She will be home shortly after, assuming they believe she is safe to go home. If she is not, she might stay in the hospital a little longer or eventually [probably after 2-3 weeks] they would transfer her to a treatment center, kind of like what they do for chemical addictions except for mental health issues... an inpatient therapy center basically- it's very unlikely on the first hospitalization though! They would only do that if she continued to talk about suicide [if she intends to take action] or refused to talk to the staff...Also you should know people aren't sent to mental hospitals unless they have been hospitalized many times in a regular hospital so don't worry about that. They aren't going to "take her away". With whatever happens, someone would have to take the kids, and be ready to help out with the kids after she is discharged, too. I think if she is already talking about suicide and still nothing is changing in her life, she is at a very high risk and it would be a good idea to bring her to the ER. If nothing else, it will probably be a good break and give her a wake-up call and reminder of how important her kids are to her, and that she should get help for herself so that she can take care of them and be the mother they need.