My guess is that this is probably really common amongst this age group but I'm wondering how some of you have handled it. My daughter is 6 years old and in first grade. We carpool with another family for school and the mornings I have to drive them, I have to get myself ready for work too. I try to have as much prepped the night before as possible and try to get myself and DD up early enough, but it seems like I have to spend the entire time prodding DD along and getting her stay focused on getting ready. She always finds something to distract her from the task at hand, or starts talking about something completely off topic, and everything comes to a halt. She doesn't want me helping her get dressed but she takes what feels like forever to do it. Same thing with brushing her teeth. I feel bad but I constantly find myself saying, "OK, that's enough talking, hurry up!"
I was trying to get her out the door the other day and had to keep telling her to put on her coat, put on her boots, etc. And then in the middle of getting ready, she stops and starts to tell me what she thinks she wants to be for Halloween. "Honey, Halloween is months and months away! Can we talk about it in the car? We need to GET GOING!" Getting ready in the morning I feel like it's that book "Bears in the Night" where I have to keep barking at her in short sentences, "Shoes! Coat! Out the door! To the car!" because she just doesn't want to MOVE.
There's been a couple of mornings at school that we've gotten there on time for school to start., but her teacher has marked her tardy because she is not in classroom on time ready to go. She's taking too long to get her coat off, put stuff in her locker, then starts talking to a friend, and she's had no sense of trying to hurry up and get into class. Once her teacher said it took a full ten minutes for DD to get herself into the classroom from the time that she actually arrived at school and she missed out on an assignment that they had already started.
I'm sure it gets better but right now I am having a hard time being patient with her and getting her to understand that she can't dawdle so much when we have to get out the door on time. I've already started getting her up earlier and leaving for school earlier. I've tried setting a timer but that just gets her upset feeling too rushed and pressured. Anything else we can do? TIA!
get her up earlier in the morning. It is hard. but if you have as much done as possible before hand that does help. I would set her a specific time that YOU can talk. And each time she starts talking just say I can't talk to you until we are BOTH ready to go. and stick to that.
She is working on 6 year old time. My son did too. There is simply no urgency in their minds to getting dressed, sitting down in class, etc. Late is just not a real idea in their minds. Basically we did everything with my son. Brushed teeth with him, helped him dress, etc. If he was talking, I just picked his arms up in the air and changed his clothes while he was yacking away. It was simply easier than nagging or discussing. You are right - she will get better at this with time - no matter how you handle it now.
We race. Who can get their clothes on faster? We brush our teeth together and it's "ready, set, go!" If she's having trouble hurrying to get her shoes on, I pick them up and she puts them on in the car.
Set up a time chart. Put everything on the morning routine and put a time to it so that at the end everything is done. No cartoons in the morning, if need be news of the day and no one can change the channel. Move her along so that you are on track to leave the house on time. She will have shoes or boots on or off same with coat and in the car.
I used to get up a half hour earlier than time for my soon. It was very difficult to get two people ready for school at the same time. When son got up I could do what was needed for him and be on time.
Set different alarms clocks if need be so that she gets use to the sound and know where she should be in the morning ritual. Any time she stops what she is doing keep moving her along and continue with the routine until it clicks that this is what we have to do each morning.
News channels have weather and temp and give a time about every 15 minutes so you know where you are in getting ready to go out the door.
Good luck to you.
the other S.
PS It is not easy but they have to learn.
You have to keep getting her up earlier and earlier till she can accomplish getting to her class and ready to go on time. Start with the goal and work backwards. You are not frustrated or angry in your tone with her, just matter of fact. She can take 30 mins longer, you dont care. The difference in kid's attitudes getting up 30 mins earlier is not much. Giving one word commands is pretty typical. It's just the rushed nature of the morning that makes it feel sharp.
You haven't found her currency, yet. The downside to this is going to bed earlier and getting in the car earlier. A pain for all, but worth it.
6 year olds have no concept of time or tardy or such.. they are living in the minute.. putting on a sock.. they are distracted by fuzz on their toe.. normal for the age.. you can offer rewards for good morning focus.. I would get you and her up earlier.. and if she cant get dressed in a timely fashion then you step in and do it despite complaints..
If I were you, after her bath at night, put her school clothes on her and tell her that until she is ready to get in the car on time in the mornings, that she will have to wear her school clothes to bed. And mean it. She doesn't get breakfast until her coat and her shoes are on. SO... if she fritters away her time, she only gets a breakfast bar stuck in her hand as she goes out the door.
The only way to get her to respect your time is for her to realize that you will not respect her time unless she does what she is asked.
She is actually manipulating you, making YOU run in circles while she is the puppetmaster. Stop allowing it. When she sees that you are serious and that she will NOT get the pajamas back that you have hidden away untill she earns them back, and when she is tired of eating a breakfast bar in the car and missing what is on the table, she will start doing better. Accept NO promises. Either she gets ready and sits down and eats and is in the car on time, or she wears clothes to bed and eats in shoes and coat.
I set timers. She's getting in trouble in school, so what she gets done by the time the timer goes off is what she gets done. Some kids do well with a list. Some need extra help. Some need to go to bed earlier to get up earlier. If my DD isn't ready to go, then she doesn't get to choose her hairstyle, she doesn't have fresh breath, she doesn't get to choose her shoes, etc. Timer off. Go out the door. Also, find the long pole. If it's getting dressed, then that is what she does FIRST.
My daughter hasn't had this problem,but probably because she sees her brothers moving, so keeps up. My boys on the other hand... oy ve! We ended up making a track for them in iTunes. All upbeat songs that they got to pick together. Then they knew how long they had for each task. By the end of this song, they needed to be dressed. By the end of that song, they needed to be done eating, etc., all the way through the morning routine, including coats and shoes. We had to enforce it the first few mornings, but they got the hang of it within about 3 mornings. And we were all having happier days without all the fuss to start it off. Now they use the music just for fun to have a happy day. Good luck! It does get better! :)
Mymission mentioned currency. My 7yo dawdles over breakfast and then doesn't finish it :(
So we are giving him a sticker on a card every morning he eats a good breakfast. If he gets 5 during the week we will take him out for ice cream on Friday after school. Just started this, though. So far he loves the stickers.
When it's time to go pick her up and put her in the vehicle. If she thinks she's going to school without her coat and without her shoes she might hurry up nex time. But in fact she probably needs more time to get there. I'd get her up 15 minutes earlier, set the clocks up so she won't know. It takes all sorts of tricks. It's still your "job" to push her along. She's only 5 or 6. It will take time.
I only had to push kiddo out the door once in her jammies telling her to get in the car, it was time to leave. The hysterics that followed showed me she cared what she wore to school. I haven't had many issues since unless we didn't have enough time in the morning due to oversleeping even just a few minutes.
That age group does not "get" time. They are learning..... Slowly
I'm a 13yr substitute for 1st grade. We don't count the children tardy if they are in the hall putting things away in the lockers. We do push them to hurry up, do lunch/attendance count. We make this a morning effort to do better everyday .
The only tardy comes if a child is dropped off after the last bell and has to check in with the office.
We have a reward jar in the room. When everyone is in the room on time, starting on morning work and on time for announcements..., maximum reward goes in the jar! This reward is typically for a popcorn party and movie during an afternoon or something like that.
Bottom line the children work together to make sure they get maximum marbles or whatever we have in the jar.
It's interesting to watch the always punctual children go to the hall to help others get in class and get started so they get the reward. They work together and that's another positive!!
I don't know how to help at home in your case. My daughter is now 19 and living in her own for college. Many years I did start making her go to bed earlier if she couldn't get up and going on time. My daughter cherishes her sleep to this day and she plans her schedule around it!!!
Side note...... I appreciate you being on this site. You've given some great advice to those of us who have pets. You can't diagnose anything of course but you have given some options and ideas. We just lost our 14.5 yr old dog in Dec and it was heartbreaking and in the middle of an ice storm. We had the poodle on recovery from cataract surgery so our last 3 months have been very pet related.
Best wishes to you!
My dd is 10 and very easily side-tracked. One thing I started doing on cold mornings (we keep our house very cool at night), is I take what she picked out to wear the night before and put it in the dryer so it's real warm. She really hurries to get it on before the clothes cool off....
One thing down! I help her comb her hair (very tangled) and while were in the bathroom I have her brush her teeth.
Another thing down! I have the coat, boots, backpack all laid out by the door. She eats a protein bar in the car on the way to school
Probably not ideal, but we've NEVER been tardy.
