Getting 3 1/2 Month Old to Sleep

Have you tried giving ranch dip or some kind of dip with the vege's? Thats how I got my son to eat carrot sticks and broccoli. Good Luck

Hi K.,
"On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo worked for me. It's a short book and an easy read, and SAVED MY SANITY! Lots of tips on helping babies learn to self-soothe.

My first thought is that it's good you hold him a lot - babies need that. But, you also have to be the one in charge. (Babies need that too!) That means that you need to figure out when he first gets tired and put him down in his crib at that point. Do not wait until he is beyond exhausted/eyes rolling back in his head to do this. At that point, he's too tired to self-soothe and he will fight it. So let's say he wakes up for the day at 6am. You feed him then, and he has a few hours of awake time. Maybe around 9am, he starts to be a little bit tired. Lay him down in his crib awake but calm. He might fuss a little bit - don't rush to pick him up immediately. (Sometimes they just need to get a little aggravation out of their systems in order to sleep!) Give him a good 5-10 minutes (watch the clock) - most likely he'll fall asleep. If not you can lay a hand on him, turn on his crib mobile, or whatever will help him get settled. He should take a nap for a good hour to hour and a half. When he wakes up, feed him a good full meal, and repeat the wake-sleep-eat cycle. At his age, this cycle should be around 4 hours or so. The point is, get him on a schedule that works for the both of you, and stick with it so he knows what to expect, and when. Once he knows that at this time of day, he goes to sleep, he will not fight it anymore, and you will find that he'll be a lot happier during his waking hours. Also you'll find that he will most likely drop down to 1 feeding at night (and he may even drop that one) - no kidding. This is the method I used with my younger daughter and I was just really surprised when it worked as well as it did! I hope it works for you too! Good luck!

This is touch something that works for one baby doesn't always work for another. My daughter was a good sleeper at that age but I remember we would always have her take a nap in the swing - which was a nightmare because it was in the living room and we would have to tip toe around the house. Nap time was my break time so I just started swaddling her and putting her in the crip with a pacifier she would stay awake for a while but not cry and finally just got used to it and went right to sleep - its all about routine - right now your routine is holding her until she falls asleep - she will get used to what ever you start doing. You just have to be consistent and stick to what you decide. If after 4 days it is a no go then try something else. We used to also put one of those small little girafe blankets by her face - for some reason that comforted her.

Get the book "Healthy Sleep, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Excellent book, helped me alot and explains how extremely important naps are for the health and welfare of a human being.

Do you have a sling? My little girl was like that. You can get a lot more done wearing a sleeping baby in a sling than dealing with a screaming baby in the bassinet. Your little guy needs you--they're too young to have wants or to be "spoiled" at this age. And WAY too young to worry about them self-soothing or being "independent"! Dr. Sears has a book called something like The Fussy Baby Book--or even just read his regular The Baby Book. My girlie spent most of her first 6 months touching me, unless I was in the shower or something. Have faith--they DO outgrow it!!! And not all babies are like that. My daughter will be 2 tomorrow--and she does take naps by herself--has since about 9 months consistently, 5 months less consistently, but our lives were very chaotic right there, as we were losing our business & moving across the country to start over. I also have a 6-month-old son, who has always been better about being put down for naps.

This is a pretty obvious one that you may have already tried, but it worked wonders for two out of three of my kids -- swing for daytime naps. You have to find one that your baby is comfy. Some have no support (like the Boppy swing) and others are too rigid and upright for a young baby. My sons both loved their fisher price bouncy seats, so I got a fisher price swing with the same type of seat. It's portable so I can bring it upstairs when I shower or to a friend's house for a playdate Here's a link if you want to check out the one I use: http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Open-Top-Take-Along-Sw.... I tried swings by buying them at Target. They have a 90 day return policy with receipt if you're not happy. Even if it's open and assembled! I tried the Boppy first and he hated it. He LOVES the fisher price swing and I use it every day. It was only about $45 bucks, and the batteries last forever.

Some babies still like to be swaddled at that age, you might also want to give that a shot if he likes being held -- it's kind of the same feeling. I swaddle him and hold him when he can't sleep on his own and when he falls asleep I can transfer him to a crib. Like one mom said when you think he's asleep, wait another 10 minutes to be sure.

One last thing that helped me. I had to learn to recognize subtle signs when baby was getting tired. If I missed the cues, he would get what my mother refers to as "over-tired" and then he would get stressed and crabby and couldn't fall asleep. If I put my kids down at the right moment, they'll fall asleep on their own 95% of the time. If I miss the window, forget it.

All babies are different. Try everything you're comfortable with and see what sticks. Good Luck!

Reading your post...made me smile..I remember my now 9mth old being like this. I blamed myself too because I held her as much as I could..lol. She is so used to sleeping in my arms or in bed with me. So now at least when i lay her down to sleeps she doesnt wake up, before was terrible during the day to try and leave her in the crib for nap time. You dont realize how time flies, but of course at the moment you need your sleep as well. She still sleeps in bed with us..haha..Cant get her to sleep through out all the night alone. This too will pass.. But good luck and congrats on your baby!

Happy Mother's day!

At 3 1/2 months, he shouldn't be independent nor be able to self-soothe. He's too young for that. You can't hold a baby too much. Get the book "No Cry Nap Solution" which has lots of great suggestions for helping your baby sleep without making him suffer.

If you can get him to sleep during the day, I wouldn't bother trying to put him down if it just wakes him up - then again, the book I suggested has great solutions for how to successfully transfer a sleeping baby from your arms to a crib or other resting place.

Good for you for co-sleeping and breastfeeding on demand as is developmentally appropriate at this age!

Good luck!
Cassie

So here are two things I learned. I have one REALLY good sleeper and one who is just now at 16 mths starting to sleep thru the night and it's never consistent.

1- I co-slept with both of my children and had them sleep in my room during the transisiton to their own bed. My oldest son now almost 3, slept in my room (slash in my bed when he needed it) until he was 18 mths old and than I put him in his own twin bed in his own room when we moved and he has never once gotten out of his bed. He did want us to sleep with him for a few weeks after teh move, but that was to be expected. My second son I slept with almost exclusivly until he was 6 mths old and than I started to transisiton him to a pak and play bed in my room and he is now in his room in is crib and has been since he was 11 mths old. However he does still wake up most nights at least once.
All of this means that all kids are different. Here is what I think I would try. Try laying down with him during the day in your bed until he falls alseep. It takes an infant 20 minutes to fall into a deep sleep, so be patient even after you think he's asleep he's probably not all the way yet. than put him in a bed next to your bed. Put something in that bed that smells like you. a Shirt, a pillow a stuffed animal, etc.
Do that consistently and I bet you he will start to be able to fall asleep in that bed because he'll start toget used to it. It's foreign to him because he's used to sleeping with you. I even had a miniature pillow top mattress that my mother in law gave me to put at the bottom of the bed to take away some of the hardness of the baby mattress.

I was one of those mom's who took all the sleep on your back stuff with a grain of salt. My one son suffered from plagio because of it.
I put padding in both of my kids beds and slept with them at night with blankets over them.

oh and the last thing, their sleep patterns change ALL the time, he might just not be ready to sleep well during the day yet.

good luck
K.

Hi K.,

I think it's one of the myths of motherhood that babies will sleep on their own at that young age. So please don't feel you deserve any "blame!" Some will, but some won't unless you cry it out, which I personally don't agree with. At that age, my son would only sleep if being held. So to get some sanity, I would put him in a sling for naps. It worked great! I had both hands free and could get a ton done, and he would sleep contentedly for 2 hour stretches. I used a Moby wrap and a Hotsling and loved them both. We also co-slept at night. When he was about 5 or 6 months old, he started to be a lot better at napping on his own in his crib. I think it just takes takes some babies longer. Another thing that really helped was swaddling. I know it probably seems a little late to start, but at 3 months I was desperate for some time in bed without a baby attached to me so I started wrapping him in the Miracle Blanket and he slept 4 hours straight the very first night. I kept swaddling him til almost 6 months then slowly transitioned to a blanket wrapped around him that I slowly loosened until he didn't ned it anymore.

My son is almost 2 now and he is a great sleeper. Every day he takes a 2 hour nap and he sleeps through the night about 75% of the time. We never made him cry-it-out either. He is very happy, secure, and independent. It will get so much easier soon. Hang in there and feel free to message me if you want to talk. Enjoy these sweet baby days!

Naps didn't get set until my little boy was 3 1/2 to 4 months. His patterns really started to form at that point. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth really helped. I read it at 8 months and wished I had read it when my son was 3-4 months. I agree with the suggestion to try putting your little one to sleep before he is too tired. He will thrive under the routine once you establish it for him.

Try to take a nap with him. It sounds like he is so connected to you that he wants to be with you and do everything you do so maybe you need to show him that taking a nap during the day is a good thing. You also sound like you could use one yourself. :)

Try giving him a small soft cloth against his lips. This seems to work for my son. Although my son won't sleep all night yet (at 7 mos!) He seems to be on a constant growth spurt. My girl is the ONLY one who slept all night as a baby!

Mom of 4: girl, boy, boy, boy!

I had a similar situation, and started by just holding my daughter in my arms for a nap - it might sound silly, but sleep is so important! I then transitioned to side-nursing in bed, then I creep away. Now she naps! Some parents are fans of the crying-it-out method, but I can't stand it! Good luck to you, and enjoy bed sharing - I think it's wonderful to experience such closeness with a baby!