Getting 14Month Old Son to Sleep!

Hi T.~
Well, I'm certainly not a fan of co-sleeping, but I'm also not a fan of letting babies cry it out! In your case it sounds like insecurity and with the big changes he is going through, he just needs your time when you can give it...which is at bedtime. I would say let him sleep with you (I can hear all my friends gasping with surprise...lol)! He needs to be close to you and it is temporary. Any changes can be BIG for little ones and his world has been turned upside-down. If he needs to sleep with mom for some reassurance, then that certainly outweighs anything else. Once things calm down for him, the switch to the crib may actually be easier.

Good luck and kudos on the degree!!!
~L.

When my son was about 13 months we moved to a different state away from all of our family. This was a huge change for him and he went from going to bed on his own to screaming if I even put him near his crib. I tried co-sleeping too and it was sooooo hard to break. my suggestion is to put a toddler bed next to yours. That way you can lay in your bed and he can lay in his but he can hold your hand or get close for the security he needs during the changes. We finally got my son in his own room by gradually moving his bed away from ours. He was even in the hallway at one point. Before I let him in our room I tried to let him cry it out but it never worked. At this age they are more stubborn and they can last a lot longer. This is what worked for me I hope it helps.

Hi, I just wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with letting your son sleep with you. My toddler also sleeps with me. I also work full-time, so it's nice to be close at night. He needs more sleep than I do, so we usually go to bed at the same time. I wake up before him and have a few hours to myself.

It sounds like you are making the best of the situation. Hang in there. Getting divorced was the most difficult thing I've ever been through.

Hi T.~ I was a single mom as well- of 2 girls - and we were living in my parents basement. My youngest at the time was acting the same way. As hard as it was, I found out what worked for me...Knowing she should not go to bed with a bottle, I would lay her down with a pacifier (or even a bottle of water), her favorite animal and blanket, and stick to the exact same thing each night. Kiss her, and tell her Mommy loves her, and will be close by. Then let her cry (and she would get MAD!). Each time this happened, (including if she woke up in the middle of the night)I would let her cry for a bit longer each time before I would go in there (without turning on the light)to quickly and quietly reassure her she was fine and needed to go to sleep. I had nights it was impossible to stick with it like I should, but for the most part, I did. I cried myself- feeling guilty, tired, and fed up. (My youngest is definately strong-willed, too.) I knew I had to get her to stay in her own bed so she could learn to soothe herself appropriately. It is really important for your son to see and feel you staying calm yourself; he will feed off of your stress. Singing to him might calm him AND you! I hope this helps-even a little! Remember this: It will not last forever. Things will get easier, so just hang in there and know that you and your son have a lot of life ahead of you to look forward to that you can't see yet : - )

Hi T., I went through a divorce in 2000 when my son was 5. This can be very traumatic for children. Especially since you are in a temporary living situation and he will move again in the future, hopefully not too far off, since you need to be independent for both of your sakes. Keep all of that in mind before you let him cry it out. He is all messed up right now and needs you more than anything else. Maybe put a mattress on the floor beside your bed and lay with him until he falls asleep. I agree with one other person, I am definitely not for co-sleeping because it is hard to break, but it is already happening, so maybe now isn't the best time to break the habit, why not wait until you move to your own place and let him pick out his own new big boy bed (how old is he). Good luck.

I went through a lot of the same thing. My daughter is now two and a half. A lot of people disagreed withme , but I rocked her to sleep until she was just over two... we went through a stage of my lying down with her until she fell asleep --we finally had to stop that when I was falling asleep before she was and I was loosing what little part of my night I had.
We just did stages and tried.. I could never let her cry herself to sleep --personally I couldn't handle it. Now we rock and read maximun three books, drink our milk and I lye her down awake and she is happy and content. try moving into a rocking chair and going from there. It'll take time to adjust... his little world is changing to, don't let 'rules' control you. Spending 20 minutes getting him down is better than 2-3 hours of letting him scream.

Get the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" it is fantastic and really works. It will not change things overnight, but it does work.

T.,
I just went through this with my 12 month old. I think consistency is more important than letting them cry forever. I did let him cry, but only for short periods. But, I never let him out of his crib. I just kept going back in there and putting him down and staying by the crib sometimes. Eventually (only about 1 week), he realized he was not going to get picked up and now only cries a little here and there now. I am sure it will just take your son some time to get used his new environment. But, I bet it won't take too long. He is probably too young to be too set in his old ways.