Getting 12 Week Old to Sleep

Hi,
Sounds like my baby! I cheated and let me tell you how. I put my baby in a swing and I let the swing, swing her ALL NIGHT LONG. Seriously, I had stock in D batteries. I had the swing that could swing in both directions. I had it swing from side to side, and let me tell you... it worked like a charm. The sad part was when she was 7 months old and the swing wouldn't swing because she was so big! But, we transferred her to the crib and no problems. I could have transferred her earlier, but I was afraid that she would not sleep. It all worked out and I know deep down, that I cheated. But I was well rested.:) I also want to add that the swing was in my bedroom because I was worried about leaving her in it without me close by. Good Luck.

I feel like everyone always obsesses on getting their children to sleep on a schedule. Try to remember that this is a short season of your child's life and try to adjust your schedule to hers. I have 2 children and never forced and sleep schedule op them. They both sleep through the night and put themselves to sleep. Try and relax and enjoy their time table.
K.

I know there are tons of books to read... but there is a very quick book that really helped me..

It is called how to get your 12 week old to sleep 12 hours.. and it really gets you to put your baby on a schedule... it is a very quick book and really really helpful...

I hope this helps...

D. - One of the best pieces of advice I received from a friend was to always put my son in his crib wide awake and let him learn how to fall asleep on his own. I did this from day one...in fact he would fall asleep at the bottle and I would wake him up burping him...play with him for 5 mintues or so and then lay him down to sleep. My son is now 21 months and I can tell you that anytime we have company and I give my son a bath and put him to bed...he goes right to sleep, no crying, no comments....just happy to be in bed and asleep. If your daughter is 12 weeks...you might have a fight on your hands for about a week. When I was a babysitter in high school...I had a neighbor who had an 8 week old baby Heather, when I started watching her...the mom would bounce her to sleep after a bottle for 45 mintues to get her to sleep. Well, as a teenager this was very difficult for me to continue very night during the week while she went to work, frankly my arms hurt. So I asked her if she would mind if I stopped that and just put her daughter to bed?? She said fine...good luck. The first night Heather cried for an hour. I checked on her every ten minutes. The first few times I would walk in the room, I would pick her up and she would stop crying instantly....this gave me the confidence to know she was fine, she just wanted to be picked up....nothing was wrong. The last 1/2 hour as soon as I walked in the door she would stop crying...so I knew she was fine. The second night she cried about 45 minutes...the next two nights 1/2 hour...the sixth night she cried for 5 minutes and then was sound asleep. I told the mom, please, please....feed her, burp her, change her diaper and then put her down in the crib, walk out and close the door. She said it was a miracle her daughter went right to sleep. She couldn't believe it.

So this is totally up to you. I can only share my experience, once with my son and once when I used to babysit...I believe the child will get used to what ever you allow them to do. One other thing my Mom shared with me. She trained me early in my sons life...to not pick him up if he would wake up crying...pick him up after he calms down. Otherwise you're teaching him if he cries that you'll pick him up right away. At first I thought this was very cruel. However my Mom convinced me to try it out. What I have found is that my son rarely cries and is usually a very happy boy, when he wakes up from naps or in the morning.

These are just a few ideas that have worked for me. Each child is different and you need to keep that in mind. However these have worked well for me. Good Luck!!!

Hi,
It does not sound like you have a routine for your daugther. Children need a "schedule", nothing too rigid as you always need to be flexibile with young ones. But why don't you try setting up an everyday routine espically for bedtime. You can try giving her a bath and reading a story everynight around the same time. The best time to put them to sleep is from 6PM to 8PM (no later then 8PM). It won't work on the first try of course gut give it time. Good luck!

I recommend and love The Sleep Lady's method. Go to your library and check out Good Night, Sleep Tight. Around the same time our daughter developed separation anxiety two weeks with this method and my daughter was putting herself to sleep.

Good Luck.

I would recommend the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hoog, this book was a life saver for us!!!!

Have you read the book Happiest Baby on the Block? It's also on a dvd. I believe your daughter would benefit from a few of the techniques in the book. Swaddling her in a good blanket such as the miracle blanket should help. www.miracleblanket.com Swaddling helped my daughter get into a very good sleep pattern. She is 3.5months old now and sleeps 7-4am and than eats and goes back to bed for a few more hours.

I really, really don't recommend any of those sleep training books. (Ferber and Weissbluth) You can slowly adjust nap and night times, but 12 weeks is too young for any kind of schedule.
I recommend reading anything by Dr. William Sears and co-sleeping. Sears wrote a book called "Nighttime Parenting," but this info might now be included in one of his many other books. Your baby really needs you now. Don't leave her to follow some "expert's" advice. YOU are the expert!
Amy

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is an excellent book! Great recommendation by the previous mom! We used that with my first - who is now 3.

Also, are you swaddling your baby? I have a 10 week old and found that he sleeps MUCH better when he was swaddled.

I also "cheat" and let him nap in his swing during the day, so the only time he is laying down without movement is at night. Recently we have started to either put him in the swing and not have it swing or lay him other places - pack n play, etc to sleep so he doesn't get too used to the swing.

For your daughter to be up most of the day, seems really long to me - she is definately over tired. And, with my first, we woudl give him a bath before bed and that seemed to tire him out - he would go longer stretches of sleep after a bath.

Good luck with all of these suggestions. I know how awful lack of sleep can be! Let us know if you find some relief.
B.

A sleep schedule seems to be in order here. A baby should be taking, imo, a nap during the day. It seems like she might be overtired and that is the cause of the problem.

If you haven't already read it, I highly recommend Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby". Your baby sounds a lot like my third when she was an infant. After reading Weissbluth, my fourth didn't even have a chance to develop sleep issues :)

I have a 14 week old baby girl and I have her nap in her swing or pack n play during the day but for night I put her in her crib swaddled and in a dark room (to go to sleep) and then when I go to bed I put the tv on (her crib is in my room). Her last time eating at night is 10 and she will sleep until 8-9 in the morning. I will nurser extra long at the 10 o'clock feeding so that her belly is really full and she will usually fall asleep when she is done. Once she stops nursing she is swaddled and put in her crib.

GOOD LUCK!

I suggest taking a look at the Ferber book "Solving your Child's Sleep Problems". Even if you don't follow it's advice to the letter, this will help you greatly in understanding children's sleep cycles and sleep needs. The best thing you can do for your daughter (and yourself!) is teach her how to put herself to sleep. When you put her in her crib already asleep and she wakes up, the only way she knows how to fall asleep is in your arms, which is why she fusses. She can learn to settle herself at this age - it may take a week or so though. I've heard that the Weissbluth book is good too.

Hi D.,
I think you are experiencing normal problems with trying to get your baby on a schedule. Although there is no "ONE" answer, you may want to read the book "Becoming Babywise", I too was a first time mom five short years ago and experienced the same thing and was so tired and worn out and had to return to work - I was desperate! Becoming Babywise is a method of training your baby to be on a schedule and on a family's schedule so that everyone is rested and everyone is happy. The physician that wrote it explains that a baby has no idea what they are supposed to do or at what time and if we as parents set the schedule, they will be so much better off for the rest of their lives, they need us for direction and to make the point even clearer, your baby is not aware that she could be on a schedule and expect feedings and naps and sleeping at a specific time, they need the structure and the book really does help. Like everything, I read this book while pregnant and picked and chose which methods I would implement and then of course geared them to fit my needs. I had never heard of such a thing before and most pediatricians are old school in which you should feed on demand and let the babies rule the roost, this is not always the best plan for an older infant and family. It won't hurt to get a new perspective and the theory is that you are setting up your child with structure and that is something that will make everyone's lives easier. Good Luck!!

From what I have read, a child learns sleep cues from their surroundings. If you put them to sleep with soft music on, that music had better be on all the time or if they wakeup slighly they'll be unable to sooth themselves to sleep. So by rocking a child to sleep, you are making it so that is the only way that they can sleep, in your arms and rocking. I'd suggest the ferber method which is what I used on my children. Basically, you put the child in the crib and check on them in 5 minutes if they are crying. You go in speak softly and pat them but don't pick them up. You gradually increase the amount of time before you go into see them. They are reassured by the fact that you are going into them and that you are there if they need you but they are learning to cope on their own as well. I used it with all 3 of my girls and it worked like a charm. They are all 3 good sleepers.

D., I can recommand you the book Healthy sleaphabits happy child from Dr Marc Weissbluth. I think you daugher is overtired and therefore she cannot stay asleep and gets cranky at the end of the day. I know how it like because i've been there with my son when he was around the same age.
Its to much information to explain it all but he basicly learns you how to get your child on a schedule.
good luck
M.