Gender Disappointment - Not Here!

When we found out we were having a third daughter, I had about 10 seconds of "aw, but a boy would have been so NEAT".....then realized that I'll have another little princess to dress up and do all those fun 'girly' things I'd never get away with doing with a boy! hahaha

People keep asking my husband if he wanted a boy or if we're going to try for a boy for him.....he just tells them that he knows what to do with girls, was the one who wanted a third girl (very true) and has already started his collection of rifles to keep by the door when they start dating :)

We have 2 boys and I am pregnant now. We will hopefully be able to find out gender mid Dec!

Honestly, I will be happy either way. I would LOVE to have 3 boys, I just love my little guys. I'm great with mud and trucks...not so much with make believe and nail polish LOL! That said, I think it would be nice to even out the score around here and have a little girl. It will definitely be an adjustment to have a girl, but we would be just as happy.

EVERYONE asks us "You're hoping for a girl, right?". My response is "No, actually we are hoping for a healthy baby".

I have 3 girls and honestly I was hoping for a boy but it really didn't upset me that my youngest was another girl. I find it shocking soemone saying they would abort if they didn't get the gender they want that's just sick!

People still ask if I'm going to try for boy, I had my tubes tied after my youngest because my pregnancies were just to much. We are hoping to adopt.

As for a comment I would just let it go. It's not a big deal to be snide about it.

Alright y'all.... I'm having a real hard time finding empathy for anyone who seriously would consider aborting their healthy unborn child because it's the "wrong" sex. Fine, you can call me judgmental. I call them ridiculous and immature...

"In the ultrasound today I found out my little girl has a wanker."

"Apparently God doesn't think I know how to fix little girl hair so he blessed me with another wonderful boy."

"Yep, I'm now a professional "boy" mommy.
"
"We are working on a basketball team."

"The thought of having a little girl was so exciting yet scary to me, and when I found out it was another son I sighed with relief because I SO know what to do with baby men."

CONGRATS!

I have three...my first was a girl whew....because I was very biased against boys...I thought they were gross, hyper and unloveable....Pardon the pun but oh boy boy was I narrow minded!!!! I cried when i found out my second child was going to be a boy....I was sooo stupid and ungrateful and selfish at that moment..... God has a senses of humor though......I was blessed with two healthy boys after my girl..!!! They are a blessing and I thank the Lord everyday for our family...Boy or girl.....they are a precious miracle. #3 for me was the angel baby too....Easy going and patient and slept through the night when he was born......

Aborting a child because of gender is so very tragic....I am sorry that woman felt compelled to do that...How sad..As far as the post you received below, I think her response was harsh...You wouldn't post what you said if she hadn't indicated her intentions....Ignore it!!! Best wishes and how fun that you will have "my three sons" Congratulations and God Bless.

I have two boys and we don't want any more of either gender, but if I had chosen to have more children -I would have been happy with all boys OR all girls! I do love to tell people who ask though (because quite honestly, I find people who ask why I'm not "trying" for a girl not to be very smart or mature) that I'm delighted I only have 2 penises to worry about. With a girl -you have to worry about all of them! Seriously -I would have been happy with two girls, a girl and a boy -and I am delighted with my two boys. What's important are HEALTHY children. People who flip out over the gender should do themselves the favor of visiting a NICU or a special needs school where kids are classified as severe and profound. They sit in wheelchairs all day staring blankly ahead and making unintelligible noises. Pediatric cancer wards will make even the unreligious fall to their knees and give thanks for healthy children. Whenever I see one of these posts here where the mother is SO upset she's not having the gender of her choice, I think about the woman who posted here a month or two ago whose daughter was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. It's the kind of tumor my mother had -and it's not pretty. I'm sure if she ever visits this site any more, she just thinks -what I would give for a healthy, cancer-free child. Her situation is upsetting. I also think of the women who post here who just cannot conceive or carry a baby to term for anything. You can hear the years of anguish coming through their posts and they would do anything to have a boy OR a girl! People need to practice gratitude and thankfulness.

**Kristi from Hayden -this poster DID know what the woman was thinking as did I because her whole post was about it and the only reason she wanted to have an abortion was because she was pregnant with a boy. I'm VERY pro-choice, but I find that abhorrent, selfish and disgustingly ungrateful.

Gracious! Why would someone be disappointed with the sex of their baby? A baby is an incredible gift! I had 3 boys in a row. Then I had 3 girls in a row. :) We just found out we are expecting #7. The tie breaker!
People can be so stupid, really, in their comments. Just tell them that you can always dress them in pink and put bows on them if you are feeling the need for a girl. LOL Children are not possessions. We don't go pick them out and only take the perfect ones that fit our expectations or else we don't want them. At least most people, I guess. Enjoy your boy! Congratulations. What a fun time!!

People always comment. They find something to comment about, no matter what. I have a boy and a girl, so instead of the "you must be disappointed," or "when are you going to try for X," I get the comments, "Great, so now you can stop," and "so you're done, then." Why? The only reason anyone has more than 2 kids is so that they can try for another gender? I always dreamed of having at least 3 kids, and I don't see having one of each gender as an impediment to that!

I remember the woman you are talking about. I couldn't believe she was considering aborting her baby purely because it was going to be her 3rd boy. I am pro-choice, but I was shocked that she and her husband were considering abortion over something so trivial. I too spoke to her in private, because I sincerely believe she was depressed - possibly due to hormones - and I didn't want her to do anything she might regret later. She was not receptive to my recommendations of therapy and possibly medication, but as some one who had experienced depression during pregnancy, her inability to reason past her emotions struck me as very familiar. In the end, she decided not to abort but rather to give the baby up for adoption, but that was the last I heard. I also wonder what the end result was...

I'm about to have my 4th boy (Wed!!!), and never felt anything but happy about it. In fact, I just saw a program on Discovery Health last night about these 4 women who had all boys and were devastated about not having a girl. Some were even using a form of IVF called PGD to be able to pick the sex of their next pregnancy. I truly believe you get the children you are supposed to get. And I never did find the right answer to "are you going to try again to get your girl?"

My dad is a total jock... college athlete, coaches basketball for a college now during his "down time" and lives on ESPN... had three girls! Let's just say we can all throw a mean sprial, shoot hoops and love sports... and ballet.

When people would comment on them trying "once more for a boy", he'd chime in with "Why would I do that? I've got this Barbie thing down!"

I have 3 children and pregnant with unplanned/unexpected baby #4. People, yes, are very inconsiderate and say rude and hurtful things. While I never considered aborting my baby, I was understandably shocked, surprised, disappointed, angry, etc. to find that I was pregnant...again! I will not admit to it being an accident as I do not believe God intends babies to be accidents but purposeful planning on His part, I never intended to become pregnant so when people comment and say, "Well, you evened out your family," I wish they would just keep their mouths shut.

When I was pregnant with my third child, my maternal instincts told me it was a boy. I already had two girls and the thought of having a boy terrified me. I had this idea in my head that I would be a terrible mother to a boy...that I'd have nothing in common with a son, that my girly-girl personality would not offer much to a boy. But I delivered this beautiful little boy and it was love at first sight and I look at my son, who is now 4 years old and I think back to those days when I thought I'd have nothing to offer a son, I think how silly it sounds. God gives us what we NEED, not what we want and it is often our wants that get us disappointed. I thank God every day for giving me two girls, a boy...and, yes, another girl is on the way. He's given me what I need (though I struggle to understand why He feels I needed another baby!), I am thankful. So you don't get to use the girl name you've chosen. Count your blessings that you've been given an opportunity to have a child at all. There are many women who would gladly switch places with you and take whatever God has given.

I would have liked to have a son, but would not change my four daughters for the world. Obviously god decided i was a girl mom and you were a boy mom :) I would never let myself get upset over it. Just an occasional wondering of what it would be like to have a son. Congrats on your new little one!

I just had my 3rd girl this past April. We did not find out before she was born and I got a ton of insensitive comments. One "friend" even wrote on her card to me at my baby shower; "your baby is a boy." And this was after she was told by my mom that I was tired of the boy comments. Every time I would see her she would say, so do you have a name for the boy yet?
It was so irritating! I was thrilled beyond words when my baby was born and my oldest daughter shouted out, "its a girl!" If I have a 4th I would be thrilled again to have another daughter.

When I called another friend on the phone after the birth to tell her we had another daughter, she said, oh I guess your husband is disappointed. I said no. And she said, oh I am sure he is at least a little disappointed.
Now, why would he be disappointed a beautiful, healthy baby girl?

People can be so insensitive. Just be honest and say you are beyond thrilled to have another little boy.

Lisa

I second the, "Why? I am not." suggestion from below. It would make the offender stumble a bit to try and say why you would be upset without sounding a bit ridiculous themselves. Congrats! I only have one, a boy, and I could not imagine being any happier with him. If I had 10 children, I would be just as happy to have a boy each time. Boys rock!

When I became pregnant with my second child, everyone and I mean everyone was hoping for me to have a girl since our first was a boy. When we got the 20 week u/s done, I could totally see that it was a boy before the tech even said anything. I even yelled out "it's a boy!" But when we told everyone we were having another boy I got a lot of "oh, I'm sorry you didn't get your girl" or "are you going to try again for a girl?" Really? I was just thrilled to be pregnant again and having a healthy child. So when they made those comments to me, I just replyed with "I'm not upset that I'm not having a girl, I'm trying to start a football team here!" or something along the lines of that. Congratulations!

I have 2 girls, if i got preggs again id want another!, I think its sweet to love what you get, and have gotten already. It means youre paying attention. In some religions in the middle east it is common to think that the sex of the baby depends on the randiness of the parents, if the daddy was the more horny one, baddaboom you get boys., and vice versa.

that little story is usually fun to tell when you get those comments

Congratulations! I am very happy for you and so glad that you're happy too!

As the mother of 3 girls, I get a lot of, "Oh, sorry you didn't have a boy." or "Didn't you want a boy?" Like it was my choice! Hahaha

My husband and I were happy that our 3rd was a girl - we knew how to raise those!

I SOBBED in the ultrasound chair when I found out that I was having a girl. I wanted only boys. I was borderline depressed for several months.

Now, of course, having my sweet girl, I can't imagine not having her and melt everytime that little face smiles up at me.
But yes, before I met her, I was really quite disappointed.

I had 3 gorgeous baby boys and thought I was just supposed to have boys, I could name off a dozen reasons why raising little boys was cheaper, more fun, and just plain easier.

#4 was a girl and I was so unbelievably nervous. I didn't want her to be a boy, but I was worried I wouldn't be up for the screeching or multiple clothing changes per day or all the pink hair bows and princess costumes. Turns out she is awesome, 3 and she cleans the dishes with me, plays ninja swords with the boys AND finds time to play princess dress up!

I had four girls and were excited to welcome a boy into the world! Unfortunately he died just prior to birth, at 40 weeks. I had twins after him that I believe were girls and while we wanted a boy, were very thankful for our little princesses growing inside. We were devastated when we lost them at 7 and 12 weeks.

I think there is nothing wrong with judging someone for killing their baby for the wrong gender. People are too caught up in being politically correct these days. What if the baby was born and was the wrong gender or had the wrong hair color, would people be angry that the baby was killed? Absolutely!

I'm happy for you and your third boy. Maybe you'll have a girl in the future, maybe not. Maybe you'll have a slew of grand-daughters! The bigger picture is that these are our children and are important and special, no matter what their genders are.

"You're 'sorry?' How does the sex of my child affect you?"

"I wasn't looking forward to a GIRL! I was hoping for a healthy CHILD, and I got it!"

"WHAT? I feel very blessed with whichever God chooses for me!"

You become the queen of the home. You make the rules (lol) since you are the only girl and you get to run away with excuse when you feel the need. Depending on the girl name you chose, you can probably switch around the letters, add your husbands and come up with a boy name like it For ex if you chose Mary for the girl, change it to Marion...etc

First off CONGRATS on such a great blessing. I think too many people are far too caught up in "Gender" this and that. I wish more people could be happy w/ what they have because so many people have to go with out or can't even have children never mind 3 boys or 3 girls, etc. When I got pregnant w/ my 3rd, I completely knew that it was 50/50 and I actually thought it would be another girl (having 2 girls already) but we were shocked when we were told it was a boy, of course in all the good ways but we wouldn't have been upset at all had it been another girl!!! Those are the chances you take and it's a 50/50 gamble!
I had a lot of snide remarks because I had 2 girls and was having a boy, I found a lot of women to be jealous about this especially if they had 3 girls or 3 boys. I don't know that I have an "zingers" for you but what I will say is that you rub that little baby belly and be proud. :) Best of luck to you and your family!!!

We had our 3rd son in July. We were truly happy just to have a healthy baby (baby #2 has several heart defects). We've heard, "Oh, another boy" and "Are you going to keep trying for a girl?" more times than I can count! It gets old! We love our three boys (and would have loved 3 girls equally). I have two wonderful sisters that I'm very close to, so I was actually a little relieved that #3 wasn't a girl, because we are done having children therefore she would not have had a sister--and I would have wanted her to have one.

My mom is one of the worst offenders. She kept saying, "You need a girl--girls take care of you when you're old--not boys". All I can say is I have no choice--it's a 50/50 chance! Plus, my husband is an only child and I think we're really good to his parents. When we got married, I let my MIL go wedding dress shopping with me because she doesn't have a daughter to do that with. I let them help plan our wedding and we shop and do mani/pedis when she visits.

I look forward to reading other responses!

"I'm not!! Now I get to be queen of my castle!"
That's what I wanted only to be told I was having a girl for my third child! I am still getting used to the idea. lol

i had 3 miscarriages prior to my healthy pregnancy- i can tell you that when i got pregnant the 4th time, all i could pray for was healthy baby, healthy baby, healthy baby. when we finally got the successful gender ultrasound and heard "it's a boy!" that was cool, but when the tech said "everything looks fine!" we both just cried!!
tell people you like blue better anyways :D

We were SURE #3 was a girl, and when the ultrasounds CLEARLY showed boy, I was amazed, because I felt no disappointment. If I recall correctly, I thought, "Oh, hi there!'

Of course, maybe it's different for me because I was "advanced maternal age" with son #1, but I was just glad he was healthy.

I have 2 boys and always get the questions "So, are you having another to see if you get your girl" "Do you ever wonder what a girl would have looked like"? I get the 2nd question b/c my 2 boys are little clones of my husband :)
I never asked for a girl........I asked for healthy babies and I secretly hoped for boys. I love my boys dearly and wouldn't change what God has given me for the world.
The only thing that makes me sad is not planning a wedding with a daughter. It was an amazing experience to share with my Mother. My only hope is that I can be close with my DIL's (If my boys get married) and that her and her mother allow me to be part of the big day.

I CANNOT BELIEVE that someone wanted to abort her 3rd boy! That is absolutely appalling.

I am pregnant with my third, and it's a girl after two boys. I struggled a lot with how I would feel if it was another boy. We got pregnant knowing it was a definite possible outcome, but I still felt relieved when she was a 'she' and I didn't even have to contemplate gender disappointment. However, oddly, for the past 3 months I've been worried a lot simply b/c this is a girl, and I love my boys so much, and I wonder if I can love a girl! It's crazy.

I'm trying to think of zingers....I got SO annoyed the whole first half of my pregnancy when everyone would always say "I hope this is your girl!" - just assuming that is what I would want. I dreaded having to deal with all those comments if it was another boy. I even got those comments wtih boy 2! Grr.

Congrats to you on your healthy baby boy!

K

Just say, "I'm not disappointed, heck, at this rate all I need is to have 4 more and I'll have my own B-ball team!!" ;-) Just a suggestion. Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck with finding a "boys" name. Anyway, I hear girls are more difficult to raise than boys. I was blessed with 1 child only, a boy! Most blessed gift I ever received. <3

Hi,

Congrats to you and your family on your new baby boy coming!!! I have boys too and I wouldn't change it for anything! People always ask me, are you going to try for a girl? I always say with a smile--- No, but I like practicing-- when are you trying for yours????lol They always shut up after that and usually walk off all embarrassed. I just find it incredibly interesting how people who are perfect strangers can come up and ask you such personal questions! I got so sick of it---especially after being preggers with my second and they ask if its a boy or a girl, and their like-- oh, im sorry maybe you will get a girl next time....like I should be sad or dissapointed or something. It pisses me off and so I tell them no actually, I got just what I wanted--ALL BOYS. Maybe in the future I will change my mind if we are blessed with a little girl, but right now I am happy. I hope that you can enjoy the humor of it all and get a ton of catchy responses to say to nosy strangers!!

M

We had a boy and then a girl- and everyone kept asking if we were done or commenting that now we had one of each we didn't have to try any more. Seriously!?! We are expecting baby #6(boy #4) in Feb and I am so excited! I was disappointed for a second when I found out our first was going to be a boy- but I think that had more to do with me growing up with 5 sisters and only 1 brother(who would tease me constantly!) I had no idea what to do with a boy! I wouldn't trade any of them for the world- and although we thought we were done at 4- these last two precious babies- I can't imagine life without them!
congrats!!!!! and enjoy your blessings!
~C.

I have two girls and if we ever have another child I'm SURE I will be in the same position as you. EVERYONE telling us, oh I hope you get your boy. Well guess what, in my family there hasn't been a boy in years (10+) so I'm positive it would be another sweet, smart, talented and strong little girl!
Congrats mamma!!! so happy for you, Have fun with your little guys besides they could form a band like the Jonas Brothers! that would be super cool :o)

Wow! I think I would be disappointed, but I couldn't get rid of a baby because of gender! Wow again!
Congratulations and at least you don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe in this economy!

I had a girl about 8 months ago. I had originally wanted a boy and was a bit bummed about it when I found out. But I am glad she is a girl. I don't know why anyone would want to abort a baby because of sex. The first time I saw her on the monitor when we had the 4D ultrasound done, I loved her. And more on your predictament about a name you could always use a name that could be male or female. I always thought those names were so cute.

I wanted 3 boys...I have always loved the idea of having 3 brothers all close together in age. One of them would always have a "cool idea" of something they could get into :) and then there is them all going to the same school and having the same teachers and such.."Oh another H brother" :) Love it! But alas, NO! Oh, well...that's not the hand I was dealt...I can't imagine being so upset about gender that I would not want my child... geesh, some people, huh? * I remember the post you are referring to.

I like you, was bummed about not being able to use my boy name...it was cute...Cash Thomas...I would have had a Korbin Shay, a Wyatt Brodie and a Cash Thomas...what I do have is a Korbin Shay, a Wyatt Brodie, and a Gillian Quinn~Perfect!

~Although if I had it my way and didn't have to *compromise* on the names with the hubby AND been given a 3rd boy, I would have had a Coop, a Tripp and a Wylie! Ahhh, naming them is so fun, yet so stressful!

What was your girl name?

You will truly be Queen of your Castle!
All hail Queen K.!
Congrats to you!
(I'd imagine your husband is VERY pleased with himself!)
:)
(you sure it's not TWIN boys?! bahahaha!)

I have 3 girls and am so happy with them! I thought I might be disappointed with the 3rd, but as soon as I saw her, nothing like that crossed my mind! I get comments, almost weekly, either saying "Are you going to try for a boy?" or "You need a boy to carry on the name!". I really could care less if I have a boy and if he carries on the name and my husband feels the same way. If we decide to have another, it's because we want another child, not because we want a boy! I need some good zingers though for those people!

You can say something like, you will always have 4 men to take care of you meaning you are always queen, and will eventually have 3 daughters in the form of DIL!. LOL!. Tell them you dont really like pink anyways! LOL!

Congrats we have 3 girls....my DH is praying for a boy when we start trying again.

I love all my kids...1, 2, 3 are girls and 4 is a boy...ages 4-13...ALL fantastic!!!

Well I have two boys and when we go for number three could be in your spot... If I find out later down the road I am carrying boy #3 and somebody said something like that I'd probably say something like "yeah, just lucky I guess!!" or maybe even more directly say "we are very happy about our son, (insert name)" that would probably shut 'em up:D If I was in a charitable mood(like before 28wks) I might say "well, we thought about how nice it would be to raise both but we are very happy to welcome our new son and we have lots of rubber snakes and trucks, we're all set!" My response would probably have a direct correlation to which trimester I was in and my mood that day. I tend to get a bit fly while prego. So let me just say to you, congrats on baby boy #3. Boys are awesome!!!

If you are worried that people are going to go for that angle -sorry it's not a girl- don't tell them. Just because you know, doesn't mean everyone has to!
If you have a shower, have it be for diapers, wipes, non-gender related items.
When you know something that others don't that is a 'zinger', but not in a mean way.

As the first blood female in my family in over a 100 years I understand that people often hope for a specific gender. And when I was pregnant with my little boy I was positive he was a girl, when the ultrasound tech told us he was indeed a boy i allowed myself exactly one moment of shock and disappointment. But that was it, my son is healthy and that is all the matters, and being raised with all boys I had no fears that I wouldn't know what to do. When I decided to have another child, yes ill hope for a daughter only because I know how amazing my relationship is with my mother, but if I have another boy there will be no sadness. A child is a blessing no matter what, and if you are truly dead set on having a boy or girl there are medical ways to go about it. As to people being saying silly things.... id say something like I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world to be surrounded with these handsome little men :)

I knew that if I didn't get my girl, I would be very disappointed. But I got my girl, so definitely no disappointment here. Everyone is different. You should be careful, because what you said about the girl wanting to abort her baby "because of the gender" sounded really judgemental. How do you know her mental status? A very close friend of mine actually had an abortion in her teen years. Keep in mind this is not the decision she wanted to make, but she did. She later told me whenever she thought about that baby, she pictured a boy. 10 years and 3 girls later, she truly was disappointed that she never got her boy, even to the point of becoming depressed over it. So, before you go around making judgements about people before you can fully understand what may be going on in their head, I encourage you to think before you speak.

I think it's very cruel of you to comment on the absurdity of Gender disappointment when you've clearly never been there. It is an awful condition to have to begin with, and then in addition, there is very little support for it and a whole lot of judgement. It would be similar to commenting about "selfish" mothers who end up with post partum depression and just can't snap out of it and be happy with their new baby. Sorry to be harsh, but as someone who has gone through gender disappointment, your post came off pretty rude.

WOW a Boy!!! I have 1 & he is great...I also have 2 girls & wished they were more like brother not gonna happen..Congrats he will be a JOY share your good news Thanksgiving
I remember that lady I think she was POed all around maybe she decided to have her boy maybe not & he is looking down here after his mama sad..

I have had four boys and wanted a girl so badly with my last and the radiologist said yes its a girl and then gasped and waited a minute and said Im so sorry it is a boy. I was so happy and then cried because another boy needless to say I still feel totally bad about it I just got my hopes up for a girl. I love all my boys and lost one and feel that I got chosen to be this little boys mama and that I am and my grandma still tells me that I was wrong lol. I was and in my heart have never stopped wanting a girl but maybe I can adopt or who knows what the future holds but no disappoinment here just because she tricked me lol.
Congrats I love all 4 of my boys