Friend's Son's Behavior - Help...

I dont see the need to talk to your friend over this matter. What you are describing doesnt seem like a big issue to me. I think you will hurt her feelings (and she would be right). If the roles were reversed and she is a good friend I dont think she would bring it up.

It would not be a good idea to say anything. If you don't want your child to be around it, create some space in the friendship. Also, don't be so sure it is her and her husband's parenting style. Some children are just very difficult and your friend already has her hands full. If you said something to her it would hurt her even more.

Saying something will surely end badly for you. I know it stinks, but it's not a good idea. I had a friend once with this same situation, and I just couldn't allow my kids to be around hers anymore because it was too stressful for all of us. Reverse the situation and think how you would feel if she approached you about your kids...it would be VERY difficult not to be defensive. Food for thought. Good luck with whatever you decide!

You have already recieved some good advice and I would like to add my 2 cents. I am in the same situation with a very good friend. The biggest advantage for me is that we do not live close. I absolutely would Not say anything to her. What I would do is think about if you would allow your child to talk to you like that. If the answer is not then you simply say to the child 'I understand you are not having a good day and I am sorry, but you may not talk to me like that.' You are then sending the message to your child, that child and your friend that you have boundaries. This is the only thing I have found helps me because I am not passing judgement on their parenting I am letting everyone know what I can tolerate.

I do know that I let more slide with my friends children in general, but when in comes to disrespect from children, I am sorry it is not okay. Sometimes space is another way to help enforece those boundaries, and boundaries are a good thing!

Good Luck!

As a mom of six children, I can say that these type of behaviors aren't always due to parenting styles (or lack thereof). I have one child who was very much like the boy you described. He struggled in his interaction with others and most everything he felt came out as a "bad mood." If he was embarrassed, he would act angry. If he was sad, he would act angry. "Don't look at me," and "Don't talk to me," were common statments he would make. Things were really rough for a long while until he was mature enough to make better choices. He was also a very impulsive child with anxiety issues. Those things left when he turned 13 (not sure if it was due to maturity, hormones, his faith, or what). If it were due to the way my husband and I parented, we would see more of it with my other children (which we did not). Parents have a lot of influence on their children, but the children's personality have a lot to do with it as well. I really feel that most people did not judge my parenting because they could see that my other children did not act this way. If I only had one child like this, I am quite sure that my parenting style would have been under scrutiny.

I'm only saying this so people can be objective and supportive to mothers who are raising difficult children. With that said, I understood if people wanted to limit their children's exposure to my son. If I could have limited my other children's exposure I would have many times. My oldest son is a part of our family however, and we all needed to learn from it. My children have so much more patience and understanding through dealing with their brother. I'm EXTREMELY thankful that he has appeared to have matured through this too (without having to be medicated).

M.

That's a tricky one! How does he treat your son? Do they play well toghether? Has your son ever mentioned this boy being mean to him? Maybe that would be a good way to start. That is if your son has issues with him also. Maybe your friend is just a little embarrassed and doesn't know how to approach it when others are around. Perhaps next time you should take the first step. When the little boy says "Don't talk to me!" You can simply tell him that's not a nice way to talk to adults. I had a friend who had a 4 year old boy who constangly picked on my 2year old. Yes, a 2 year old. My friend just ignored it! I finally told him that he needed to stop grabbing and pushing her around. Ok, she got mad and never spoke to me again. But you know what, sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do!!
Just be honest with your friend! Honesty is always best!

I'm sure it's hard to sit back and not do anything, so don't. I think you should pray for her and their family, be a good example of consistency, but don't approach her. People do things all different ways, perhaps you only see glimpses of what's really going on in their household. Just love on her, listen to her, and pray for her. It isn't your place to teach her how to raise her son! God bless!

I really do not think it is your place to say anything to be honest. If you feel he is a bad influence on your children, I would put distance in between them. There really is not much good that can come from you bringing her child's poor behavior to her attention. I am sure she is aware of his shortcomings, and she doesn't need to be reminded by her friends. If she asks you, or approaches you then I think it is safe to say how you feel. Otherwise, you could risk loosing a friendship.