Freedom of Opinion and Your Children

I raised my daughter to evaluate information and form her own opinions, whether or not they agree with mine.
She and I don't have the same politics or the same religious views.
The important thing is that she walks her talk.

1) I'd have a hard time if my children went against the core social beliefs that I've tried to instill in them. If they were to jump party lines due to the financial philosophies, I wouldn't bat an eye. But, if they started judging others and believed they knew what was best for their neighbor I'd really wonder "Where did I go wrong?"

2) No issue here. My only issue would be if they tried to push their new found religion on me.

3)We live in the Coke capital. What is this Pepsi thing you speak of?

I have 7 kiddos, now almost 18 to 25. I love LOVE when they are all home for the holidays BECAUSE of the healthy debates on ALL topics!

They are pretty independent thinkers, and fall ALL over the chart with respect to politics and religion. Things do get somewhat heated (in a healthy way I think)...and when it does, we pass around the 'talking stick'! lol Whomever 'has it' HAS the floor (or I hit them with it!!!)

I have 'failed' in some ways though. I was a 'tab' drinker til I could find it no more. Then diet coke (with fresh lemon...LOTS of ice...and sometimes rum). Most of my kids do not drink soda at all. The two that do...drink mountain dew?????? How did it happen???

Best!

Well my oldest is a Red Sox fan, at least he was when we disowned him.

:)

I my family (our generation) one sibling is an atheist, the other is a born again fundamentalist Christian. We deal with it this way. My husband likes to shout out "The Bible is the literal word of God. Discuss!" and run out of the room.

By the way, I just "unfollowed" my sister in law because of her stupid political and religious posts. She doesn't post pics of her kids or family activities. Just politics and religion - last week she posted an article entitled "ALS Challenge Kills Babies!" Now, I get that people are concerned about stem cell use in ALS research and reasonable minds can debate that. I'm good with that. But there is a difference between expressing that concern and posting inflammatory and irresponsible claims like "it kills babies." So, I haven't unfriended her or blocked her yet, but I have "unfollowed."

We drink both Coke and Pepsi in our house. That should sufficiently answer the rest of your questions. ;-)

1) I have no interest in anything political

2) I'm not religious

3) I no longer drink soda

lol!

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Coke and Pepsi are NOT the same! Blasphemy! :)

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Jackie: Our political system is broken. It will only really be fixed when society stops feeding the fire. No "party" or "person" is "better".

I raise my kids giving them all the tools they need to make their way in the world. The path they take is up to them. So far they have never made changes based on ignorance so I am rather pleased how they turned out.

Religiously we are still the same. Politically my oldest is a moderate like me, my daughter leans a bit liberal but not so much she is dogmatic so all good.

i'm pretty relieved that my boys, while not particularly politically involved, are pretty close to my own (liberal republican) views. politics tend to be the absolute ugliest divides in modern society, it seems.
religiously my family is like the 4 directions, we are all SO different from each other. the only place we come together is respectful tolerance of our differences. i'm also relieved about that.
i won't tolerate any disobedience about the coke and pepsi thing. a mom has to draw a line in the sand somewhere.
oh yeah. my younger actually converted me to coke.
dang.
our main and passionate goal was to raise kids to be adults who are critical thinkers and make their own independent decisions, and come to their own conclusions, and are open-minded to new information and evidence. beyond that, it's wide open!
khairete
S.

My job was to raise my children into functional adults who would contribute to society. I did that. Now that they are adults it's up to them as to what they want to do and believe. One is very religious and we respect that choice. Another is very one with the earth and organic and we respect that choice. Your children don't have to blindly follow everything you've taught and as a parent you have to respect their choices even if they differ from yours.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Well, depends upon how old my son is...my 14 year old? Well, he's being indoctrinated at school to be a liberal. But we keep him in line at home and keep making him think on his own, look up stuff and get more information on subjects...

In regards to YOUR son? YAHOO for your son!! He became a THINKER!! LOVE IT!!!

In regards to church - again - age? If he's over the age of 13 - I'm all for him stretching out and finding out more...knowledge is power. My best friend is a Jehovah's Witness - I don't agree with her religion - but we have great discussions about religion. One of my dear friends is a Mormon. I actually "explored" the Mormon church when I was 12-14 - never got baptized. I didn't feel the "pull" to the church. Heck - I even went to the Kingdom Hall with my grandparents during that time frame as well.

LET HIM INVESTIGATE!!! Let him use his brain, explore, learn and decide on his own.

Coke or Pepsi??!?! Coke!! My mom (God rest her soul) is Pepsi! I was RAISED Pepsi!! When I moved to Belgium, Pepsi didn't taste right -so I tried Coke and was hooked...my kids? They like Coke products and Dr. Pepper....it's THEIR taste buds, not mine.

I'm REALLY happy for your son!! YAHOO!!! (No, not in jest!! Seriously - you've done good if your son wants to explore instead of just tow the line!!)

We are a conservative family. Yes, shock of all shocks we are members of the tea party. We are not "home grown terrorists" that is silly. Both kids are conservative as well. If they were to become liberal? I would listen to what they have to say and move on. We have several liberal friends and family members. We agree to disagree.

Church? Well, they were christened Methodist and confirmed Lutheran. So, if they wanted to investigate? I don't have an issue with that. We have had several Mormon friends and my aunt is Muslim.

Sorry, Coke is the superior beverage to Pepsi. Dr. Pepper is the true love of my son's life! Mr. Pibb is a poser. Ice Tea is the best!!!

Now, if they came home and said they were Patriot fans, then they would get the boot!!

Excuse me?!! I am so tired of these biased people who don't even consider Dr. Pepper to be a choice. I refuse to answer the rest of your question until you admit you have unfairly worded your survey, giving unfair advantage to the two main carbonated beverages. I hope all other Dr. Pepper-loving Mammas on this site stand strong with me. :0)

O.k., fine. No one in my family cares for parties. We vote for the best candidate, and if one member votes for one candidate and the other for another candidate, then so be it. We might have a good debate over the pros and cons, but no hard feelings at all.

As far as religion, we are a strong Christian family, and I am raising my children to be Christians. Serving God is not an issue one should be liberal about -- God is unchanging. If my children change their beliefs, I will always love them and always have a relationship with them (we aren't Amish!), but I will also always do what I can in a LOVING and NON-HARASSING, NON-NAGGING way to bring them back to Christ.

As long as my kids don't become loggers in the Amazon, we're golden.

I'm hopeful that if your scenario would arise we could just agree to disagree. I hold out hope that my children won't be radicalized to one particular side when it come to religion or politics.

My husband prefers Pepsi. He is wrong but that can be forgiven.

We're Unitarian Universalist, so any religion is ok with us. I can't see my kids becoming tea party members, that would be weird. But if they did I would have to sigh and ask them not to talk politics with me, and I'm not turning off NPR even if they ask nicely.
I'm pretty upfront about the strength of my convictions, but have learned the art of compromise ("let's not talk about that") when I like or love someone with differing views.

#3? Ginger ale.

Your child feels comfortable exploring his own interests? Then M....you are doing a mighty fine job.

Ask him questions about what he is learning and doing. Act very interested. Then he will have no reason to do this out of rebellion but simply from his own honest desire to understand the world around him.

Sounds like you are raising a pretty darn good kid!

(As for #3. There is only one true cola..and that is Pepsi)

I think most kids rebel against or at least question what they have been taught by their parents, it's part of growing up.
Some come back to their parents' values/point of view, some never do.
Sure it's hard when your kids reject what you believe in, but if you have done your job as parent you have raised curious, inquisitive individuals, not sheep!

They should have the freedom to explore their options. How do they know what they believe if they can only go by what you tell them?

They have to find their own way and as long as it's done and handled respectfully, you should encourage these things (even when they vary from your preferences).

There is no debate...Pepsi tastes best. Coke is best for an upset stomach. Both taste best from the can. However, we did have a receptionist that thought Mello Yellow and Mountain Dew were the same because they were "both green" in her words. It had been requested that she get Mt Dew for he office and she bought Mello Yellow and wondered why no one was drinking it. My now ex husband said well are Coke and Pepsi the same? and when she said no, he said "but they are both brown?".

I figure that if I want my son to respect my opinions and beliefs, I need to model that for him. I'm older and can remember needing to find my own way-- I can't expect him to be any different.

Although if he's not a Yankees fan, I'm sure it will break his daddy's heart. :)

I hate politicians - ALL of them - not a single one is any better than the next - they are all 'lizards' (Douglas Adams reference).

Organized religion isn't any better than politics - they are just religious lizards - and I can't stand the preaching (a fair number of them are complete hypocrites and I swear they just make stuff up as they go along).

I go back and forth on Coke and Pepsi - Coke has a vanilla undertone and Pepsi has a citrus undertone - currently I prefer Coke - but I might switch again and I don't drink that much soda these days anyway.

As long as they live at home - they can explore all they want but the kids had better not try converting me.
Once they are on their own they can do as they please.

I am an independent.. my son , even at 12 considers himself a conservative.. I am a Buddhist, for now, he says he is too. However, often he has mentioned wanting to explore Judaism, Mormonism and, Muslim and many others.. I encourage him to find out as much as possible about any religion... In a global world, even if you don't convert to a specific religion, never hurts to have an understanding of where someone else is coming from... I think if my son has a better scope of someone's cultural background and beliefs, it will definitely help him find community wherever he goes in this world and since he likes to travel.... the more knowledge he has, the better his experiences will be..

I would hope that I raised my children to where they always felt comfortable to question every idea/thought especially regarding politics and religion with the greatest respect towards those who did not always agree. I think it's wonderful that everyone not believe or feel exactly the same about everything as long as we respect each other as human beings.

Perhaps you and your children will have the best kind of conversations where each can glean something interesting that the other did not know. Frankly I hope to never argue about Coke vs Pepsi as both are same =)

If you look at the studies on this subject, it turns out that conservatives and liberals are wired differently. Their brains are actually structured differently from each other, and it is like this from birth. Here's an interesting article from Scientific American about it: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/calling-truce-p... There's also some evidence differentiating brains vs. brawn in liberals and conservatives: http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,###-##...

All this being said, your son becoming Tea Party probably has more to do with the way his brain is structured than as any measure of your parenting skills. Likewise, I'm fairly certain that being more or less religious follows these same brain development patterns (as some of the studies mention).

ETA: If either of my kids ever become Giants or Niners fans though, I'll have to disown them!

I would ignore the political party, religion, and soda debate when my child came to visit. Religion and politics are two very intimate subjects in my book. They fall into the category of if you don't want to know what I do in the sack, don't ask. In all of my 45 years on this earth, that is where I put politics and religion.

Now, with that put aside, concentrate on the things that bind you and your child. If you enjoy traveling together, then do so. Life is too short to waste on differences. Also, remember, people can change their views many times depending on what is going on in their lives at the time. Our children sometimes like to have views opposite of ours, just to be different or to grab our goat. Then as they become more seasoned with life, they turn into us.

None of these situations would bother me at all. I do not discuss or "raise" my children spouting my political beliefs so I don't believe I "raise" them with my political views. My child goes to all kinds of different churches. I could care less. She can believe in God or whatever higher power she wants or she can not believe at all. Doesn't make any difference to me. And myself and GD don't drink soda so neither of us have an opinion or care about coke or pepsi. SHE decided on her own to not drink soda, so again not my "view."

I would give my child my opinion, but I would ultimately recognize that he/she is his/own person. I don't have the same political or religious beliefs as other family members and I respect theirs and they respect mine. My sks do not give me or DD grief about grace or going to church and I respect that they don't feel the same way.

Personally, we went to a lot of different churches and most of them varied on the order of worship more than the basic beliefs when it came to many protestant denominations. Either your son will find his new faith path or return to the path he grew up in.

As for politics, my stepson is very very liberal and sometimes I have had to shut him down when my views don't quite reach his youthful ideals. I don't enjoy debate and I am not going to ruin my dinner being lectured to. So he debates with his dad and I go do something else.

Hmmm....
I was raised in a very very conservatice household.
There are 5 children and we are all pretty liberal! Even my parents are starting to change their views.
I can't really think of a deal breaker for me.
The way my family avoids conflict (political or religious) is by just not talking about it. There isn't a reason to bring up gay marriage (one brother is VEHEMENTLY against it while I support it) or taxes, or illegal immigration, or any other thing that can cause bickering.
L.

You just have to let them be and let them explore. Even though we tend to think our opinions and choices are the "correct" ones, in reality, we know that it's not all that black and white. Many, many shades of grey. I also try to help the kids see that even seemingly diverse positions still do have some things in common. I think it's important for people on different political sides and religions to recognize the common ground they all share.

I'd rather have my children explore and form their own ideas based on their life experiences, educations, and the values we've taught them. In the end, I realize what they choose, may be different from what we think and do.

My husband and I are both originally from the midwest. He's a Cleveland fan, and I'm a Chicago fan. Our youngest is breaking rank and our hearts (said jokingly----kind of), by starting to like the Seahawks. He'll still wear his Browns and Bears stuff, but he's leaning toward choosing his own west coast team. I guess we'll still feed him--- since he hasn't abandoned the Cavs and the Bulls! : )

J. F.

Well, my siblings and I are all over the map on all these issues, and none of us quite line up with my parents. So, I expect that my kids will be the same.

Except question #3. Everyone in my family avoids soda all together, and we all drink iced tea just like my mom :)

The only thing I want my son to *BE*?
Happy.

Everything else is ok. Or a phase.

(Please God, steer him clear of evil. And Tea.)

The one thing that would be very hard for me to accept would be scenario #1.

The rest I could accept.

When growing up I found that I did not agree with the church my mom was taking me to. It was the "family religion" on her side so that's where we went.
My dad and then my mom encouraged me to research and find out what exactly it was I didn't like and to explore to find what I did agree with.
The key was that I did my research. I didn't just do something, believe something, follow something because someone said it was right, they were right or because I had to. I made my own choices based on my own research.
I would not have issue if my children did not agree with my view on something. But they better have done the research and have the facts to back that up. Not just well Suzie is so I am now, typical teen age sheeping.
I always encourage them to learn about the world around them already. You have to know about the world around you to live successfully in the world. Even if you don't agree with a particular religion or political party or anything else for that matter, you need to know about it so you can live harmoniously in the world. You can't say you are against something if you don't know the facts about it anymore than you can say you are for something if you don't know the facts.
As for Coke and Pepsi....if they drink anything other than Hanson's they have some explaining to do! ;)

I do not believe in forming the kids opinions on things. I do believe in instilling good values and morals and education so they can choose effectively.

My ex husband and I are liberal democrats. During the election we were extremely against the Republicans of course. But we made SURE not to say anything ugly or offensive about them, and when we would hear the kids say things like "Yuck, a Romney bumper sticker" or "Sarah Palin is a dummy" (which we DID NOT SAY but we have liberal friends and do watch liberal satire at times and the kids were with me when I did some Obama volunteering and fought against the voter ID thingie happening in PA... so they knew whose side I was on.) I would say, well, Republicans are people too with different values and we don't want to be mean about people, who knows, one day maybe you'll be a Republican when you learn what each party stands for...."

My parents were that way. My dad is a Republican (not a right wing crazy tea partier but a normal old school one) and he got me my first subscription to Time Magazine when I was 12. He always encouraged me to keep up on world news news and never once criticized me for turning out "Democrat". We have a blast debating at family reunions. Even he makes fun of Fox News. My mom who is no longer married to him is now a Tea Party Fox Newsie even though she used to be a liberal when I was a kid?!!? Debates are not fun at her house. I can't believe she watches that stuff when she did not raise me that way.

Same with religion. I'm very careful not to insult different religions. I tell the kids everyone's religion is important and right to them. I teach about all religions in a world history curriculum we use. I'm not particularly religious, and it is completely up to my kids to negotiate that when they get older. They have been to church and spent time with Christian relatives and friends of different religions. We also have atheist friends and they understand not everyone believes in God.

I can honestly say I do not care what religion or political stance my kids end up taking. I will still love them.

I think it's wrong to brainwash your kids into being mini-me's. They need to live their lives beyond their early foundation.

Oh, sodas...my kids don't often get them but I have one root beer drinker and two Sprite drinkers-which burns me because I'm morally opposed to soda. Guess I'm not as tolerant as I thought :)

Oh, and STEELERS!!!!

#3 is the most important one. That would be tough. #1 & 2 - it's their life, not mine.

The third is a deal-breaker for me. Off with his head!

I have not had this experience, but I do want to make this point. I have met people online who do not share my beliefs. When we have other important things in common, I can maintain a connection, even when I spend much of my time shaking my head at them.

When I learn of this disturbing information after having known them for years and being close, I might be frustrated and even shocked, but I tend to also allow myself to be convinced that this is happening at this point because I needed to develop a deeper connection before having the relationship challenged. When my husband and I were first married, I chose my battles very carefully when it came to being annoyed about his son and ex, because we needed to get some tiem under our belt. Otherwise, our marriage might not have survived those first couple of years.

I'm hoping that growing a baby inside my body and then loving this human through all the development stages (including the ones that will make me want to wring his neck) will have prepared me to continue to love and be in relationship with him once he figures out that I am not always right and that I, in fact, did not hang the moon.

Hopefully, he'll explain his logic to me, and it'll make sense, even if I don't agree. I just hope that I won't think that he's an idiot.

I'll trip him right to his face if he drinks Pepsi.