My four year old is very active. She has been since she was very little. We used to call her octopuss because it was like she had 8 hands in to everything at once. As she has gotten older I worry that its a bit more than just being active. She has just now been able to sit still long enough to watch a cartoon. She has not seen many Disney movies because she cant sit thru it. At this age my son could put the dvd in by himself and watch any movie he wanted. I know this sounds like I use the TV to baby sit. Thats not what I am trying to do or say. I am concerned that she will not be able to sit still long enough in Kindergarden to learn. I know they keep them active and entertained but I still worry. She is never usually quite for long. She talks ALL the time or sings or seems to have to be doing something at all times. If I tell her to stop doing something or stop touching something etc... It seems she has an inner fight within herself to be able to stop. Please dont lecture that Im tring to say she is adhd and jumping to conclusions. That is not what I am doing. I just want trying to figure out if I need to be worried or not. I know 4 year olds are active and keep moms busy but sometimes it seems more than that. She will play with her babies alot but I have seen her straighten her baby blankets over and over until they do not have any wrinkles. Just please give me some advice form moms who may have experienced some high strung little ones. Thanks.
This may not be it at all, but I wanted to share that red food coloring used to make my son hyperactive. When we eliminated red food coloring from his diet it helped tremendously.
No one needs to be fussing at you or lecturing you about whether or not you think that she has ADHD. Ignore anyone who treats you like this.
Talk to your ped about getting her evaluated. A child psychologist can do this. Do you have a children's hospital in your vicinity? I'd start there. Tell them everything that worries you.
This isn't about trying to get your child "medicated". This is about starting a process that figures out how you can best help her and manage her. I promise you that this will help her in school as well. If you don't do it now, and she ends up not being able to cope with kindergarten, you will have to do it then, and it will be harder.
Good luck,
Dawn
4 year olds are active. That being said, does she go to preschool? What are their thoughts. That is where kids learn that they have to sit and listen.
My grandson is all over the place when not in school. He is in the 3 year old
group. When he is in school he sits and listens. It took a few weeks for
him to figure out that he has to sit. When he comes homes, he is like a
wild man for a bit. It is hard for little ones to keep it together. To work off
some of his energy, I have him enrolled in a gym program. Structured again
so he has to sit and listen, but the reward is swinging from the rope, rock
climbing wall, ball pit, etc. He loves it. Maybe your daughter needs to work
off her energy.
Trust your instincts. Have her evaluated and be her advocate. This isn't about labeling your child.... It's about understanding her better so you can help her thrive.
I'm a preschool teacher and wholly agree with the suggestion to talk to your pediatrician and request an evaluation be done.
This is for your peace of mind, first and foremost. You say you don't want to label your daughter, and an eval can help cross that worry off your list. A specialist can help you with tools for your parenting toolbox and can suggest activities that will suit your daughter's need for movement.
Some children are kinetic learners. They have a difficult time sitting still to learn. I have a sister who did most of her studying in college on a treadmill or exercise bike. She claimed it was the only way to keep the infomation she was learning "in there".
If your daughter is more inclined to be a kinetic learner, having this documented will help teachers be able to help her. With this sort of guidance from a specialist, you and the teachers will be able to access resources and tools to help your daughter more fully participate in school successfully.
For what it's worth, my son's preschool teachers recently suggested we have him evaluated for some concerns regarding his nonverbal communication skills. So I do understand that you may feel sad or stunned at these suggestions for an eval. As a teacher, I have had to sit on both sides of that table, and I know that it hurts to hear that there might be something to be concerned about.
At the same time, the only way I'm going to be able to either disprove that or get us better information and help is if we follow through, so the eval is scheduled. PM me if you need some support on this. It's hard, I know. (My heart hurts just thinking about it.) But please, if you are worried enough to post about it, get the eval scheduled. Either way, no matter what they end up saying, you'll feel better about it later on.
Hugs,
H.
I have a friend whose 5 yo granddaughter was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder and responded positively to medication. Straightening her dolls blankets over and over could be OCD. Is she obsessive in other ways?
Start with talking to her pediatrician about it. It's good to pay attention to your questions and get answers.
Overall I think she sounds pretty typical. My 4 y/o is also very active, although she will sit still to watch a 30 minute show, but she is constantly talking, singing, jumping, twirling...etc.! I do agree however that if you feel she has some compulsive issues, like the smoothing of the blankets, it's worth a talk with your pediatrician or her preschool teacher. That being said, I'd just watch for it and see if she does this with anything else or if she has any rituals. Even my daughter will get a bee in her bonnet about something that isn't right and will go crazy trying to fix it, smooth it, correct it, fluff it, whatever! She doesn't do it all the time though and the task will vary according to mood. From what you've written, my final judgement would be normal, but if you feel concerned, talk to someone! Good luck!
Most of what you wrote could be describing my daughter - not the straightening the blankets over and over, trying to get them perfect, but pretty much everything else. She is also 4. She can go, go, go all day long. She talks pretty much non-stop too and the only time she really sits and really watches TV is if she is really tired. If the TV is on, she's still doing other things - drawing, coloring, playing with a toy, etc. She would rather go to child care after preschool than come with Mommy - child care is way more fun with all the other toys and kids there to play with! She gets easily distracted when I am trying to keep her on task and almost constantly has to "tell me something" or "show me something." When I ask her to stop doing something, she doesn't always stop right away, or she has to do it "one more time."
Fortunately, she does well in structured environments. She knows how to sit still when she has to (i.e. story time or circle time at school). She knows how to stay in line and wait her turn and listen and follow directions. I've had her in gymnastics just to give her some extra activity, plus preschool at 3 and 4, and she's loved it. She's done pee-wee soccer (just basic learning-how-to-play class) and swim lessons and she's loved that too. She's just BUSY. And she's been busy since she was a baby. When she was born, the nurses couldn't get over how alert she was from day 1, and trying to hold her head up and checking everything out. My mother used to say that she was the busiest little baby she had ever seen. Always into everything.
To me, the question would be if she's ever done any preschool, or done any activities or classes where there are rules to be followed and she is expected to listen and pay attention. Some kids need that to help them burn that energy off, to give them the stimulation they need, and to help prepare them for what lies ahead in kindergarten. Having her enrolled in a preschool program or other activity for kids her age might give you a better idea of where she is and how much you need to be concerned.
i don't know but wanted to let you know i have some of the same worries. my son just turned 5 (his birthday is too late for him to be kindergarten this year) and i am so happy he is getting another year of preschool. they "get" him and he has few problems, other than the occasional time out for being a goofy little boy or not listening. anyway, your comments about when you ask her to stop doing something or whatever, and she has to really make herself stop - my son is the exact same way. it's like there's a delay there, he's so into whatever he's doing he just has the hardest time listening. i can be three feet from him and tell him to put the ball down and he has to bounce it five more times, all the while i am repeating myself and getting more frustrated. i don't know if it's "normal" or not (my son has my husband's temperament, very active constantly, and no one on my side is like that, we're all super laid back, so this is new to me) but i just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. maybe in another year she will have mellowed a bit. that's what i'm hoping for my son. good luck!
Sounds like my daughter. In fact, we only watch videos shorter than 60 minutes because she can barely sit for that long. And occasionally my daughter gets obsessed with something.
I know there is nothing wrong with my daughter. Little kids move around a lot, and while mine talks and dances around almost non-stop, they are suppose to be this active at this age. This is only a problem when people expect them to sit like older kids.
My daughter does do well in classes and things, but for the most part, we are in the thick of a "I'm not going to listen, I am too busy" period for sure.
Preschool is about learning how to sit and be quiet. If you care about teaching your child to sit and be quiet, and she isn't already in a school to teach her to do this, you might want to think about enrolling her.
you just discribed my 8 year old. i knew that she had adhd when she was 2 yes 2. but of course they wont test that early so i had to wait until she was 4 i wanted to do it before she got into kindergarten like you. so we had her tested and of course she had adhd (mommas know :) ) I see you are in my area we go to the bingham child guidance center and see dr peters he is wonderful but give them a call and say you are seeing signs of adhd and you would like to have her tested and if its not adhd they can help point you in the right direction. peters is know around the us for his abilitys with children. but no you arnt crazy ive been right where you are! good luck feel free to message me if you want binghams number they do take passport as well im not sure if you have it or not... good luck!
My granddaughter was also the same way. To this day, she does not sit and watch TV. She might turn it on, but about 10 - 15 minutes in, she's up doing something. She is fine at school, however. If you're really worried about her behavior in school, practice. Start working with her now to learn to write, or cut with scissors or whatever, but do it kind of like in a school way. For instance, don't make it a game; tell her this is something you're going to work on to get ready for school and that each day at X time, you will be working with her on school preparation. That way maybe you can gage better how she will be in school. You might find that she can and will sit because her mind is engaged. Also, tell her she has to practice sitting quietly and listening to instructions. So, perhaps stand up like you're in front of a classroom when you're explaining what you will be doing, and then sit next to her to help her when it is her turn to actually do the assignment. I practiced sitting quietly and following instructions with my granddaughter before she started school and I think it helped. She, at least, had an idea of what to expect in the classroom.
Um, you're talking about my daughter right? Lol. She is so active that even in the womb we called her superbaby! She was holding her head up as a newborn, walking at 9 mos., jumping off the couch at 10/11 mos, etc. She's now 4 and it hasn't quit. She won't sit still in class, is too busy doing her own thing to participate (I teach in-home preschool).
I told my husband that she's going to be "that kid" in kinder who gets her card turned all the time for talking and not listening. She's a great kid, but geez! Slow down!
I'm not worried though. That's just how she's wired.
There are different types of Sensory Processing Disorder. My daughter is on the quiet or relaxed or depressed side, meaning she tires easily (she also has hypotonia, as well as anxiety and OCD.). Her friend Lyndsay is like someone wound her up--she hardly EVER winds down. Her parents can take, like, forever to get her to calm down to go to bed. I mean, hours. Sometimes when she has my daughter over for a sleepover--she doesn't sleep all night. Both of them have various traits of SPD. And they are both highly intelligent children. My daughter has issues with getting herself revved up, while her friend has issues with being able to get herself to rev down.
You might be interested in reading:
Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) by Lucy Jane Miller, PhD, OTR
Director, Sensory Therapies and Research (STAR) Center, Denver, CO
It could be her temperament. There is a book on children's temperaments, but I can't remember the title. If you google temperament and "tiganda tiger," I'm sure the book will pop up. You might be able to find the book at your library (I was).
Anyway, the book describes a bunch of different temperaments. The easy and compliant children (less active, less curious, less intense, less assertive) are typically at one end of the spectrum and the challenging ones (active, curious, spirited, intense, strong-willed, independent) at the other. Both mine are challenging. Our 2nd is like yours. Active, curious, fiercely independent, and into everything. Our house is way more child-proofed with our second than with our first. And the active stuff also shows up at meals. It's really difficult to get our 2nd to sit still long enough to eat.
The book has some suggestions on how to deal with various temperaments. It's not a miracle cure, but it's helpful.
Another possibility to look at would be SPD... Sensory Processing Disorder.
There are some aspects where they crave the extra stimulation.... the extra movement, the fidgeting, things like that.
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...
For example, take a look at # 2...... Hyposensitivity To Touch (Under-Responsive):
It might be worth looking into. Once you have a proper diagnosis, it gives you tools to work with your child and get them the help they need.
My grandson (almost 4 years old) was just diagnosed with SPD... we've seen the signs for quite a while, and his M. finally pushed it with the pediatrician and got the referral for an evaluation. They are now looking into Physical Therapy to help with it.
Another one to look at would be 2. Hyposensitivity To Movement (Under-Responsive):..... these kids are often the ones in constant motion.
