Hi R..
I understand what the others are saying about not cooking different meals for you and your kids, but I do the same thing because some times it's just not practical to eat all together. We don't eat dinner together because my husband gets home late and also sometimes what we eat isn't kid appropriate - like very spicy foods, fish with lots of bones, etc.
I agree with the others who say don't ask him what he wants, but I would give him options, ie. 'Would you like a grilled cheese sandwich or fish sticks for lunch?' That way, you choose what is acceptable, but he still feels like he has some control over his own meals, which I think is fine. He shouldn't be in charge, but he is certainly old enough to make a choice. Plus, then you have the option of saying, 'That is what you said wanted, so eat it.'
I have 2 1/2 year old, he isn't that picky, but he eats pretty kid friendly food. Here is a selection from his repertoire...
-grilled cheese sandwiches or quesadillas (you can add other stuff to them too - like ham, chicken, slices of tomato, pepper, etc)
-fish sticks (I use salmon for these so he gets his oily fish and make them like the chicken fingers below)
-chicken fingers (I make these by cutting chicken into strips, coating them in flour, egg and seasoned breadcrumbs and then cooking them in a pan with a tiny bit of oil. My son loves to dip so I serve them with ketchup, bbq sauce, ranch, or whatever else I have on hand)
-hamburgers - you said these aren't that healthy. I disagree, if you are using lean ground beef and grilling them then they are healthy, in fact they are full of iron, zinc, B12 and all sorts of good stuff. Of course everything in moderation, but don't be afraid of beef. You can also bulk burgers up with grated carrot, apple, zucchini and other veg that he won't even know is there, but add to the nutritional value. Also try ground turkey or chicken.
-pasta with a variety of sauces. My son loves bolognese, but if yours likes mac and cheese, maybe try adding other things to it, like ground beef, grilled chicken, broccoli, peas. My mother used to make something she called chili mac, which was basically a combination of chili and mac and cheese. I loved it and my son loves it. Google it and you'll find tons of recipes.
-chilli - but not too heavily spiced. This is one that I make for my husband and I, take out a child's portion before I add too much heat, and then serve it to him the next day
- If he likes scrambled eggs, how about a cheesy vegetable scramble or an omelete? There is no end to the lovely things you can add to an omelete. You could even let him decide what to add to it himself. Put out little bowls of cheese, pepper, ham, etc, etc, etc (whatever you have in the fridge), add the egg mixture to a ziploc bag, let him add what he likes, close the bag securely, let him shake it senseless and then pour it all together into the skillet. If he chooses something new, he's probably more likely to eat it.
- tuna sandwiches - always a great way to get kids to eat fish and maybe some lettuce
-smoothies are great for adding fruit to your child's diet. Blend your fruit whole so they get the goodness from the skins and something creamy like yogurt to make it more ice creamy. Frozen bananas work for this too. They make it remarkably creamy and decadent. I was just reading this aloud and now my son is yelling - smoothie, smoothie, smoothie!! They are actually a breakfast favorite around here. I add wheat germ too.
-pizza - again, this is something that has a bad name for itself, but is actually really healthy. You can make a simple pizza crust or just use english muffins, add tomato sauce, mozzarella, and toppings. Again, you can let your son top his own pizza before you put them in the oven or you can make little faces with olive eyes, ham or pineapple nose and pepper mouth.
- If your son likes peanut butter, would he eat satay chicken. I have a super easy recipe, which I won't reprint here because I've just realized my list is getting very long, but if you'd like it I'd be happy to send it to you.
- The last thing I will add, because he eats it a lot is hummus with bread sticks and veg (both raw and steamed). Like I said he loves to dip, so I put some hummus in a little pot and surround it on the plate with carrots, different colored peppers, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, mini bread sticks, string beans, asparagus etc and it looks incredibly fresh and appetizing. This is great for the summer or if you are going out and taking his food with you. I do a fruit version too with a little pot of yogurt, fresh fruit and rice cakes for breakfast.
Sorry this is so long. If you want any more information or more suggestions (I didn't realize I had so many) please just email me. I'm happy to help. I also serve 2 vegetables with every meal because my son is like yours and eats them easily, which is great.
Good luck and enjoy your boys. D..x