Hi, Everyone
I looking for suggestions my son is 3 1/2 and for a week and half my husband and I been trying to have my son sleep by himself.
We had a habit of when it was time for bed my husband and and I would take turns laying him down where were would lay down with him, but since we have another on the way we been trying to get him to sleep by himself. We would lay him down and then sit in a room across the hallway and tell him we are right outside but its been a week in a half and still he keeps getting up 3 times a night dont know if we are on the right path or not. I woud love to hear you suggestions.
You just have to be consistant. When you put him down, tell him "mommy and daddy love you, good night," and give him a kiss, then close the door all but a crack and leave the room. If he gets up, you take him back to his bed--saying nothing--and put him back under the covers. If this continues, you keep putting him back in bed, saying nothing and avoiding eye contact. Best of luck to you!
Try to keep to a certian bedtime every night. Laye him in his bed, explain to him you're going to read a book or 2, or say prayers or whatever the routine is, then you're going to leave & he's going to stay in his big boy bed without getting up. Then follow through, don't wait till he falls alseep while you're right there, don't laye with him or transport bed when he's asleep. If he gets up, lead him back to his bed, laye him down, tuck him in & leave. No eye contact, don't talk to him, just do it & leave. Do this every time he gets up, pretty soon hell get tired of the same result & figure he should just not get up because he knows what will happen. That's my suggestion, this works for my children & my foster children, we have 6 so I know the importance of a goodnight sleep! :) Hope you get a good night sleep soon!
If he has a preferred parent, have the OTHER parent take him back to bed. My daughter started waking up and asking for Mommy at night when I was pregnant with our second, and we had my husband respond. We told her that Mommy would wake up with her in the morning, but Daddy was available for any middle-of-the-night crises. She quickly decided it wasn't worth it if she wasn't getting Mommy.
My three year old just moved to a big girl bed and was having trouble going to sleep by herself (although she was fine doing this in her crib for a long time). In the past week I started doing this: after bedtime routine (bath, teeth, jammies, three stories, lights out and one more story "from my mouth" with me laying next to her) then I turn on her CD and walk out and tell her I will go back in and check on her in five minutes. Even if she screams and cries for something (water, one more story, etc.) I don't go in until five minutes are up. Then I check on her two more times (on more after five minutes and one more after ten) and by then she's usually asleep. It has been working thank goodness since we had a rough month after having easy bedtimes for a long long time. Now, with another baby in the house, she started to have the problem going to sleep! But so far so good.
I agree with Erica and Brianna. By doing this you are letting him clearly know what you expect him to do. Tell him ahead of time that this is the new routine. Tell him that you know this is difficult for him but you know he can learn how to stay in bed and go to sleep. Perhaps play up the big boy part a bit.
I suggest that by being solicitous, laying down with him, sitting in a room across the hall and what do you do when he gets up, might be giving him the message that you are concerned that he won't go to sleep by himself.
I think I would offer him the opportunity to have you lay down with him for a set period of time in exchange for him staying in bed when you leave. If he gets up once you leave then the next night you don't lay down with him. If he does stay in bed the next night then you'll lay down with him again. That may complicate the issue. Its an idea I haven't tried or heard used by anyone else.
Supernanny uses this method but she has the added step of you stay sitting down in the room with him or in the hallway so that you can immediately put him back in bed, without talking to him or making eye contact.
I do think it's important to have as little with your son as possible and that the action of putting him back to bed is quick. He will learn thru consistent repetition that he is to be in bed.
Hi, J.:
Now this sleeping arrangement has become a control issue.
How you set boundaries and keep them will be a challenge.
Good luck. D.
I feel your pain. Our daughter is 3.5 and the same issue. I don't have the heart to tell her to go back to bed or put her there while she screams and wakes up her brother (2)... SO we have given her incentives... we went to the store w/ her and picked out stickers and made a reward chart. Every time she goes to bed by herself, she gets a sticker. Then we told her after 5 stickers she could go see Toy Story 3 - worked like a charm. Now we are 10 days in (minor hiccup during the LOUD 4th), but back on track last night.... I guess it's bribery, but it did work. Now we'll see if the habit sticks.... HOWEVER, she does get up at night, and yes (don't yell at me) I let her come and sleep with us. When I ask her why she does this, she says "I'm lonely, I need you, I'm afraid of the dark etc..." so we'll have to deal with that one too!
Good luck.
