First Communion - Brooklyn,NY

Updated on October 04, 2012
E.T. asks from Brooklyn, NY
5 answers

Okay this may be confusing but I will try and explain as best as I can. I was born Roman Catholic and tried to practice very hard up until my teens when I became very disillusioned with a few bad experiences. At 16 I met some Greek Orthodox friends and started attending their church. At 1st socially then it seemed I had found a home. When I married one of them at 20 I officially converted and was baptized. I absolutely love my religion. I have three wonderful sons and have raised them in the church. Unfortunately I divorced, but I remained orthodox and continue in my faith. 9 yrs ago I fell in love again and I became pregnant with twins. We never married and one of the reasons was my refusal to convert back. He is Irish Italian and I feel that all he wants to do is just the ceremonies. We baptized the boys both 1st catholic then orthodox. They attend church regularly and take communion regularly. I did for awhile, trying to "save" Vic's soul and our relationship attend Sunday mass...at my bequest...but seeing that his a heart wasn't in it and the sermons were lost on him, I decided to go back to my church where all my sons and I feel most at home. Now the boys are 7 and he has " informed " me the are starting catechism and will be doing their 1st communion ...which is absolutely ridicules . My older sons want to wage war, but they don't like him anyway, they feel his treatment of me to be completely disrespect. I don't know what to do. He is going to start taking them from the school to take them to class. Do I stop him and involve the courts and the school? Or do I just let him do it. This is very confusing for the twins because although I tried explaining this to them they are more confused then ever about the different religions. My family is no help because they've been wanting me to convert back since my divorce 10 yrs ago.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

If I followed your post correctly:

1. The father of your twins is Catholic and wants his kids to attend CCD and then the sacrament of First Communion in the Catholic Church.

2. The father of your twins is the man you describe as "Irish Italian"

3. You used to be but are are not currently a practicing Catholic and now are a member of the Orthodox church - where your twins attend services and communion with you on a regular basis.

4. Your twins have been baptized as Catholics AND ALSO as Orthodox?

5. In addition to the twins you have 3 older sons from your 1st marriage (or just 1 older son.... I can't tell, but you say 3 sons and then "older boys" so I'm not sure).

If your question is can your sons be taken by their father to attend CCD and First Communion in His church... the answer is yes.

If your question is can that same man take your OLDER son(s) - who are not his biological kid(s) - to the same religious education and ceremony..... the answer is no, unless he has a custodial arrangement.

It is NOT ridiculous for a parent to want to educate their child(ren) in the religion in which they believe. That happens to be protected by the Constitution. His religion is no more or less valid than yours and, as their FATHER, he has the right to educate them as he sees fit. The same as you are doing.

It's unfortunate that your kids are caught in the middle.

I wish you luck.

6 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

It might really help if you printed out the following and shared it with your family. There are many many places where Roman Catholicism and Orthodox church practices and doctrine are very similar:
http://christianityinview.com/comparison.html

Sit down with your husband and talk to him, without the children present. Keep your emotions out of it, and listen to his concerns. Then, without emotion or accusation, explain your own concerns. The bottom line is that the children should not be subjected to a personal holy war between you two, because it does is make the kids think that God is a big lie, or at least that their own parents, who are supposed to be exemplifying God's love, are wrong/bad and that church is a farce. I would strongly urge you, without the kids, and your husband to go to talk to your parish priest, of both the Orthodox and Catholic churches. If he will not go, go yourself and bring up the issues with a knowledgeable church authority.

BTW, I believe that if one is baptized in the Catholic Church, the Orthodox church is supposed to recognize and accept the person as baptized, and that the reverse is also true. The same is also true with First Communion--if a person has been sanctified to receive First Holy Communion in the Catholic church, then they are also supposed to be accepted and allowed to do the same with the Orthodox church, and vice versa.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from New York on

Roman Catholic vs. Greek Orhodox...It really doesn't matter. Rather than looking at the first communion and preparation for it as being "ridicules" is not a possitive attitude and may just make the kids stray from God completely when they get older. You really need them to feel they belong to both religions and let them decide later on which one they want. The sacrement are extremely important in both churches. Those kids cannot partake of holy communiion in the Roman Catholic church without completing their first holy communion, which includes training so they understand what it is all about. Let him do it. It's not like he's doing something bad to them like making them smoke or take drugs.

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

Well I'm sorry you were disalussioned by the church. Every church is different. I see though you are hurt by this guy so I believe this is more of your reaction than your children attending a ccd class. He is their father. You need to be the bigger person. Its about one year course of sundays (some schools offer it during the week) then they get their communion. As much as you hate the situation I do not believe you should withhold connections these young kids could form with their father. So once a week he takes them spends a little time with them they go to class for bout an hour (sometimes less) and then a little after. Something for the boys to speak to their father about and connect with. You never mentinedd grandparents. I'm surprised the ex's grandparents arent puling for this education If so then even better for the boys to get a connection with his side of the family.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

Have you talked with your priest or with the Catholic priest about this? Maybe even have your husband there when you talk with the priest? Maybe there's a way through this that the priests can help you find.

For what it's worth, speaking as a Catholic mom married to a Lutheran dad (who, unlike yours, is totally OK with me taking charge of our girls' religious ed), I'm with you. If the Greek Orthodox church is where you and your sons practice your faith and find your spiritual home, that is where they should receive their sacraments.

So sorry this is happening. Hug to you --

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