Feelings About 2Nd Baby!

I totally understand your feelings! My son is almost three and I still feel the same. I am now in my second trimester and it's starting to get better (now, I get sad for the new baby, that he/she won't have the time with mommy and daddy like the first!). He's more interested in the baby and what's going on with me. I know your little guy is still too young to understand, but you can start talking to him still. And I have a lot of friends that are really happy with the close ages of their children. They say that they are better playmates. You will feel a little better as time goes on and you get more used to the idea of two. Hope this helps.

congratulations first of all! i totally think i would feel exactly that way at first, too. but i was the opposite where we waited TOO long to have the second and looking back i would have done them closer. my kids are 6 years apart and my older daughter wants next to nothing to do with the baby sister. I think in a year or in a few years for sure, when you see how being close in age makes them so close and they will grow up to be interested in the same things, have the same friends in the neighborhood, they will LOVE being so close. I think you will realize that at your son's age... he will not know life any differently and will not be at all upset for the new brother or sister at this point in his life. he will only know his life this way and it really is only you feeling like he will be missing out on something. dont be sad for him, you are giving him a fantastic gift!! a lifelong pal and playmate... he will do FINE. I think when you wait a few years, the jealousy is so much more, they DO remember what it was like to be the only one and its harder.... especially if one has to go off to school while the baby gets to be with you all day (my issue right now) I think your family will certainly not forget about your son when the new baby comes.. and if you are afraid they aren't "with it" enough to realize he needs to feel special after the baby comes, then share these concerns with them and they will all do great. Good luck to you.... enjoy this, dont second guess it.. it happened for a reason... and was meant to be this way for all of you.

ALSO i was just thinking how you really cant lose no matter what this baby ends up being.... if its a boy... WHOA what an awesome thing for your son to have this buddy for life... and if its a girl... well then you have special boy only things to do with him and girl only things to do with her.. and you will all be so happy. try to think about this... do you know anyone that ever said... man i hate my life, my jerky mom had another baby when i was still so small.. my life was ruined! no, and you never will because kids LOVE more KIDS!!!!

Hi. Congrats!!! I felt the same way about our 2nd and our fist was just over two when we had him and planned that way. The night before I had him I remember saying to my husband "what if we don't like him/what if he screws everything up in our perfect little world with just her?" I also wanted a boy with my first and got a girl and wanted another girl with my second and got a boy - and I wouldn't change it for the world. I always wished I had a sister or brother my age - all my sibs were a lot older...there are a lot of great things about having two so close. AND - they will never know the difference. I find with lots of mom things it's "us" having the problem overthinking things - they will be fine! Congrats again!!!

Hi CK!

Congrats on being pregos again! How exciting... or will be more so when you realize this is a great gift from God for your son and the rest of the family!

I have 17 YEARS between my children and still felt the same way as you are feeling now. I worried how could I love another child as much as I love my son. I worried how would I make my son, even though he was an adult almost, feel like he was still special and just as important as the new baby coming. This is all normal feelings you are having!

With that being said... Your son will still be the center of attention (after the first week or two) because he will make sure he is. He will want to help out, get diapers, help feed, put things in the garbage etc. You will include him in to help him bond with his new sister or brother and give him constant praise for his efforts. That is postive attention he needs as he is growing anyhow but now he gets to be the Big Brother!!!

You are worrying about him being able to have Mom and Dad time... make it happen! Even when my son was an only child we had "date" nights with him. Even just a trip to the grocery store was time alone together. Plus there will be plenty of time where the new baby will be sleeping where you can pull out the story books and just snuggle on the couch reading or tickling or being silly as well as a million other things you can do!

I personally think your son is very lucky, first to have such a loving Mom who is concerned about how he will react, but even more that he will have someone to play with and have as his best friend. You have been truly blessed to get pregnant again so close!

I wish you and your family many blessings!

CK- you are so lucky! Do not worry too much. It is hard on you but remember it is not hard on them. They only benefit from the closeness in age. I have two who are 2 years apart and trust me it is hard having kids close but they LOVE LOVE LOVE it. They are 3 years old and a year and they are at such different stages. Even with being so different developmentally they are close enough to appreciate eachother. Yes, they will fight and yes, they do have conflicts when they are close but it is the best for them. I only wish I had them much closer, if anything. I know we also we 2 years apart growing up (6 of us) and it was so much fun. I have never heard anyone say, I wish my sibling were further apart from me in age. It just doesn't happen (maybe exceptions, but not the norm) Hang in there and feel very blessed. You are so very lucky to be with child and to be able to bring your baby the best gift of all, a new sibling. Good luck and keep that chin up. I know pregnancy can be hard. But there is an end to the madness! :) Hugs, N.

Congrats!!
I know exactly how you feel. When I became pregnant with my second I felt as if I was "betraying" my first, especially when you get so tired and all the hormones!! My first two are 19m apart. I read "the big brother book" OFTEN to him and showed pictures of him as a baby as it got closer to the due date. I think this helped.

First of all, my boys are best friends. They would be lost without each other. Being close in age they have so much in common and are such good friends. I often feel like the third wheel. But it helps to get things done around the house or for doctor's appointments. And when I had my third it was not a big adjustment b/c they had each other. The first year is hard but after that they entertain eachother so well!!

Second, being the youngest of 3, I was thrilled to have two older sibling to learn from, "borrow" from, and go to in time of need. TO this day I cherish how my sibs (one two years older and the other 6 yrs.) played with me and helped me. I would've been lost with out them.

watching my 3 now....it is the best gift.

Also a morbid thought.....we all age and get old and your children will have each other!

I just found out I am pregnant and I have been feeling the same way! My son is 14 months but I just can't imagine loving another baby like I love him. I know I will and I have plenty of time to adjust to it but still... it makes me almost cry when I think about it. I know that the best gift you can give your kids is siblings but I am still a little sad about it. I am glad to know that other people feel this way because I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it yet because I am just 6 weeks pregnant. Good luck to you and at least know there is someone else feeling the same way!

You are not alone! I became pregnant when my firstborn was 6 months old, and I was surprisingly sad. The guilt I felt about what my daughter was going to "lose" by having to share us so young eventually turned into major guilt over the fact that the second born gets a completely different experience (he never gets the same amount of attention the first one did, etc.) There are just SO many ways we can torture ourselves with guilt, isn't there?

What helped me transition from the sadness was continually reminding myself that my husband and I believe that the greatest gift we could ever give our daughter was a sibling. But it honestly took a while before I got excited. Yes, things with our "family unit" changed much sooner than I had liked. But now that they are 18 months and 33 months, I can see how much they need each other. It took a while to get here, but I can't believe how they enrich each other's lives (at such a young age!!) You'll get there too. In the meantime, do NOT beat yourself up for having your feelings. Don't let anyone put you down for your feelings. Give yourself time to accept and everything else will come. If you need to talk more, feel free to send me a message!

I just had my third in 4 years and I definitely felt that way while I was pregnant with my 2nd. It all just "works out". My son (oldest) and I still have an amazing relationship and he loves his little sisters more than anything.

Because my second and third were closer together, I was a little more concerned with how she would react and she's been great too. One thing I was glad I did was to make sure I wasn't the one holding the baby when she came to the hospital. She climbed right into the bed with me and then SHE asked to see the baby on her own when she was ready.

Just enjoy your pregnancy and include him in as much as you can (he's still pretty young, but you'd be amazed at what they understand!).

Congratulations!