Feeling Very Discouraged Not Preg with # 2 Yet!!!

S., I don't know if I have advice, but I am in the same boat. I have a 19 month old son and I am 36 years old trying to have another baby. When I did the ovulation strips, it actually said that I wasn't ovulating, so I am now going to see the doctor about it. I agree that it is almost impossible not to stress, but I try to get exercise and do things to make myself feel better. If you want to talk more, you can email me at ____@____.com

Hello S.:

I am sorry to hear about your problems becomming pregnant with another child. I am 30 and my son is turning 1 in 10 days. I have been reading a lot of articles about this problem recently-- the most recent was in Parenting Magazine (Aug 07) and also in Parents (last month I think) -- both scientific publications and magazines have articles relating to Secondary Infertility (as they call it).

As a scientist, I'd like to know if you (and the other women that have responded) are CAUCASIAN. I ask this because it seems like the trend is higher in caucasian women.

You see, I work in the Health and Safety field (Industrial Hygiene). And, though I haven't been trying for another child, I fear the over 30 Secondary Fertility.

My sister, also a scientist, has had fertility problems. She was on Clomid and then used injections. It came down to the fertility specialist pulling out her follicles and also doing motility testing on her husband. The end result was - did she want to try In Vitro?

She says the best thing she got out of fertility treatment was to know how far to go -- She drew the line at In Vitro and.. . Adoption.

I am considering keeping even more abreast of this issue as I'd like to possibly do a Master's Paper regarding the issue and... be prepared if it should happen to me.

Please keep us up to date.. you wouldn't believe how many women (in our area) are having this problem.

Lots of luck and prayers to you...

C.

I am assuming that you have not talked to your doctor about this. I would definitely start w/ your ob/gyn. You would be surprised at what they can help you with and if need be they will refer to a specialist. It took me 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with my son and that was w/ medical intervention. Don't be afraid to look for "help". It is a hard road sometimes, but as you know its all worth in the end. Good Luck!
D.

Try acupuncture. There's a great one in Philly - Triune at 3rd and Cherry. Ask for Needy. She'll get you pregnant.

You should definitely talk to your doctor to rule out any problems but I think they usually won't even consider you for treatment until you've tried for at least a year. Sometimes it just takes awhile. I know you are having a hard time relaxing and not stressing but have ever thought that maybe your stress is causing your husband to stress. Knowing that it upsets you can cause him to stress which can also cause problems. I'm not sure how to put this..but maybe things have become more like 'work' than pleasure. Maybe he is feeling like you are only doing it to have a baby and that could be causing him stress. I will be 34 yrs old in a few months and I want another child but my husband doesn't...I know how you must feel. I also had a miscarriage before I had my son and I feel like I'm not getting any younger. Maybe you should take a month off to just relax and get yourself back on track. Try to concentrate on the child that you have and remember that there are others out there that can't have any children....it's what I try to do. I just try to be thankful that I have a wonderful son. Hopefully, someday we'll both get what we want. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Have you talked to your docotor about it? Just try to relax, i know that is hard to do. Go get a massage done or pamper yourself. Get some of you time in. Let your body heal. Just don't forget about you. And your body. The more you stress the longer it will take your body to heal.

Best of luck!!!!

Dear S.,
You have a lot on your plate with marriage, a two yr. old and work. If you are that stressed go to Mainline Fertility and tak with them.
I loved the doctors there and the staff. It was very bitter sweet leaving.
It took me three years to get pregnant with my first and I thought I couldn't get pregnant unless I went to the doctors but around her 1st birthday I was pregnant and completely blown away because we were not ready at all.
I do believe the less stressed you are the easier it is. But it will give you peace of mind to just go and get checked out.
Bummer about the office is that you can't bring kids in so you'll need to find sitters and stuff when you have your appointments. They have offices in Bryn Mawr, Paoli and West Chester.
Best of luck and keep me posted!
J.

Wow, Your story is so similar to mine it is scary. I have a son who will be 2 in october also. I've been trying to get pregnant with my second for awhile also. I also unfortunitly had two miscarriages, one in nov. and then the other in july. Both at the 8 week mark. I am still waiting for my cycle to get back to normal. I know exactly what you mean by people offering their suggestion to relax and not stress. It is ridicious advice! My husband is very supportive.... however, he says the same thing....don't stress and we will try again. It just isn't that easy. I am turing 32 in 1 week and I feel the need to have more babies before I get "too old". I know that I am not old ..but with the pressure of fertility and problems with babies after 40 , it is scary to me. I was told to wait at least 3 months after the misscarriage to try again. In this time I am trying to get mentally and physcially better. I am trying to lose some weight and "tryng" to focus on all the positive things in my life...especially my son, who is a handfull by the way. I am also looking into a fertility dr named dr. Michael Glassner who will try to determine why i am having difficulty getting pregnant and then why I am misscarrying. He is located in bryn mawr , pa. I'm not sure where your from, but maybe you can find a fetility dr. close to you. I wish you all the health and happiness for you and your family. I know how wanting a baby and misscarrying can be an emotional rollercoaster and stressful for everyone involved. Keep as positive as possible and keep the faith that you WILL get pregnant again and go on to have a beautifull healthy child.

S. - My first thought it - What does your Dr. say?

I was a lot older than you when I started having children. I couldn't conceive and went through all kinds of tests. Eventually, a specialist had to go in laproscopically(mis-spelled!!) and remove some polyps from my uterus and clean out some gunk near the ends of my fallopian tubes.

And then that same specialist wanted to have me pay $30,000 for invitro. I went to another Dr. and asked for Clomid, and got pregnant within 2 months. I used clomid again for #2 (who had a birth defect and didn't make it) and #3 who was born just 7 months ago.

I completely understand the feelings of just WANTING AND WANTING to have another child. It is horrible every month when you are disapointed. Many people told me to relax and it will happen. But my feeling is that if you want it, you need to work proactively to make it happen. Start with your Dr. Read some books.

Do you know how to read your body's signals for when you are ovulating? I used to try to conceive (with my spouse's help!! LOL!!) on days 11-15 - (Day 1 being the fisrt day of my cycle).
The clomid just gave me that extra boost of ovulating power.

I have no experience with the m/c, but if you have that history, I would think that your Dr. would put you on a hormone as soon as you become pregnant.

Since I was 'advanced maternal age' and trouble conceiving, I was going in for lab work once per week the 1st 15 weeks after being confirmed as pregnant. When my progesterone levels were low or not increasing as they should have, my Dr. put me on a progenterone hormone to keep the pregnancy going until after I reached about 15 weeks I think?

And one last comment... take your prenatal vitamins. My second baby had a Neural Tube Defect called anencephaly. The folic acid contained in prenatl vitamins will help to prevent this kind of defect (a lessor form of it is spina bifida).

Good luck. W.

Hi, S.,

My daughter was trying for 4 years (she's 31). Finally, it was determined that her body was not producing sufficient progesterone to maintain a pregnancy. She had been having very early miscarriages frequently, but not knowing they were miscarriages since they were so early it was just like a crampy period. Her fertility specialist put her on injections of progesterone sufficient to shut down her own production and she is now pregnant. She had to continue with the progesterone shots through the first trimester and has now, I believe, been weaned off them. She is well into the second trimester with no problems. Maybe this will give you a suggestion to take to your OB-GYN. Good Luck!

E.

Hang in there...it will work out ok for you. My first pregnancy was a m/c and even though I was upset I at least knew I could get pregnant. Had a good friend who couldn't even get there for a long time. Had my first child and then had some trouble getting pregnant the second time. The first two pregancies was on the first try...so with my second child I also went to the ovulating kits and found them to be a great help in knowing when I ovulated but I finally got pregnant when I realized it was a day or two after the kit said I was going to or was ovulating. I think it was detecting the change early on. There is also a ton of info as you know on line and one thing I read about and my friend also mentioned to me was to be on the look out for cervical mucus, sorry kind of gross, but it is an indicator that says the body is ready to accept fertilization. Try reading more that and see if it makes sense.

Good luck!

S.,

I guess the first thing would be to discuss this with your Dr and then possibly speak with a specialist. I went through years of fertility problems. The first couple years trying on our own and then ultimately going to see a fertiliy specialist. I noticed another woman mentioned Dr. Glassner. That was the practice I went to, Main Line Fertility, but my Dr is Dr. Orris. They are wonderful!! I tried for many years, first on Clomid and then injections. We were getting ready to go the IVF route and then I ended up pregnant naturally!! So, all I can say is be patient, talk with a specialist and get as much information as you can and do everything you can. But I also realized sometimes it's completely out of your hands. And people used to always say the same thing, "Try to relax and don't be stressed". People are just trying to help and unless you go through it yourself, it's hard to understand about fertility issues. But after having my son naturally after years of fertility treatments, I can't help believe that when it's meant to happen it does. Good luck and I would definitely recommend the Dr's at Main Line Fertility. They are the best group of Dr's in this area for fertility!

S.,

I started trying to have kids when I was 33 and became pregnant with the help of a wonderful fertility doctor(Dr. Gerald Burke) when I was 34. Unfortunately the first pregnancy ended in a m/c. 3 months later we tried again and became pregnant with my daughter who will be 4 soon. He had me chart my temps to see if I was ovulating which I wasn't and he started with clomid. When that didn't work he switched me to injections for the first 11 days of my cycle and then a shot to release the egg. My husband and I were able to take it from there. I was also on progesterone orally for the last few days of my cycle. I would stop taking it for three days and if I didn't get my cycle I would take a pregnancy test and if it was positive I had to start taking it agin. I took this for the first 11 weeks of my pregnancy.
After my first daughter he told me with my history and age I shouldn't wait too long before trying again. Although having one changes your cycle it doesn't always make it easy to conceive again. We tried for three months and when we had no success we returned to Dr. Burke and he put me on the meds that worked the first time. I was pregnant the first cycle. My son who is 2 is only 18 months younger than his sister.
I would say find a good specialist with the help of your gyn. Godd luck.