Feeling Bad About No Vacation.......

Updated on August 05, 2010
K.M. asks from Angola, LA
28 answers

HI Ladies,
I need a lttle pep talk! I have been unable to take my kids on vacation the last 3 years! Three summers ago I was having a baby and last year we were barely getting by on one income. This year is a no go as well. My husband works ALOT and we just haven't really had the time or money , but I just feel so bad having not taken my older son (7yrs old). He just keeps asking. I tell him that the summer is not over and we still my go to the aquarium later in the month, but chances are we just might not get to. Not to mention we haven't done much all summer long. Am I being petty???????

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

Kids like adults need a change of scenery every once in a while. Can he stay at Grandma"s or a relatives house for a sleepover . I used to visit my cousins for a few days in the summer every year. Felt like a vacation to me:) Also, just try to find free stuff to do or places to go. It really helps everyone's sanity!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Dothan on

My dad was a genius when doing vacationswhen we couldnt go anywhere far.. He would take us to a Holiday Inn somewhere nearby(withint 50 miles) but not a familiar place for 2 days and we would swim, go to resteraunts and to tell ya the truth it felt like a real vacation! Just being in a new place is exciting to them lol You could always give that a shot ;)

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I never went on summer vacations as a kid. It does seem these days though that more families take regular summer vacations. We were fortunate this summer that my in-laws have an RV that we took to the lake for a week. But my kids still want to take a 'real' vacation which we have not done in 4 years. I know you live in Louisiana so it may be too hot, but camping is always fun. One year we rented an RV and parked it on the beach in Galveston - the kids loved it and it wasn't too expensive.

You do what you can around town and just explain a vacation isn't an option this year. He won't remember the vacations in the long run (especially at age 7), he will remember you loving him and having a loving home.

You aren't being petty, but I know it is hard not to feel guilty.

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

No, you're not being petty. I believe very firmly in vacations! You might need to adjust your idea of "vacation," though. Instead of a week, see if you can get away for one night.

Camp out! Kids love camping. Don't worry about tents, sleeping bags and STUFF for camping. Just take your bedding, or sleep in the car. Or sleep in the back yard. Pack food (fruit, peanut butter) that doesn't need cooked or refrigerated. Find somewhere to swim. Take a walk with a scavenger hunt list - who can find a pinecone? A seashell? An animal? Find out about any county or state parks - they usually have free programs led by rangers. Often kids get "Junior Ranger" buttons or certificates.

Make a big deal out of the things you CAN do! Don't say, "I'd love to go somewhere nice, but we have to settle for this." Say, "We are so lucky! We're going on an adventure today!" Go to the library - it's free! They often show movies once or twice a month, or more during summer - find out when. Bring your own snacks. Find a park near you, and spend the afternoon there. Then buy a cheap box of popsicles at the grocery store. What would you do in your own town if you had out of town guests? Go do that!

We never had much money when I was growing up, but my parents took us on a lot of picnics, hikes, trips to the lake, cookouts, camping and anything else free, cheap or just the cost of gas (or a bus ticket). When we went out of town, we stayed at a relative's house or camped. And we did a LOT of day trips and weekend trips, because it's hard to do a week or more! We all have great memories of those times, and we didn't feel deprived a bit.

If you make a big deal about the stuff you do, when your son goes back to school and is asked what he did this summer, instead of saying, "Nothing," he'll be excited to tell about the water fight you let him and his friends have at your house, about video night in the back yard instead of on the couch, about getting goodies from the library reading program, about popsicles in the park or the weekend camping in the mountains and how he's sure he heard bizarre animal calls. If you're excited, the kids will be excited. And hey, free and cheap are now almost status symbols ;p - everyone's looking for those things!

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P.M.

answers from Birmingham on

There are always plenty of things to do locally. Public parks, low-cost movies, picnics, etc. Oak Mountain is a wonderful place to visit and isn't very expensive. Vulcan, Alabama Adventure, McWane Center are low-cost "adventures" as well as the Birmingham Zoo. The Birmingham Botanical Gardens and Aldridge Gardens are free.

Since you have internet access, look up crafts that are age-appropriate for your children. Make t-shirts, paint pictures. The fondest memories my daughter and I share, now that she is grown, were also the cheapest.

Most importantly, don't involve your children in your money troubles. They will begin to think it is their fault and that isn't fair to them.

Visit www.al.com and go to the Birmingham Bargain Mom link. She lists all sorts of bargains as well as festivals and other free ot low-cost things to do.

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C.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well I am sorry you can't go on vacation but here are some ideas.
1. check out the prices for local camping sites we just returned from a weekend of camping. The camping sites are usually between $20-30 a night. I got one tent from freecycle and one tent that is big enough to fit a queen air bed in it for $1 dollar at a garage sell. Bring a cooler with simple foods like hotdogs, yogurt, peanut butter and jelly and apples.
I would go to Walmart. Keep your purchase low. They have the metal sticks for the marshmallows and hot dogs. Its called Coleman extended steel fork for $3.88. Buy a bag of charcoal. Bring some foldable chairs. Some blankets, tent,bug spray, lots of water.
2. host a manhunt at your house. We do all the time. My kids love playing this game and get to see all the neighborhood kids
3. Sometimes museums have a FREE day check it out.
4. Visit a different local park every week make it a fun experience.
5. type in free local activites in your area.
6. Join Freecycle. Its a world group. Instead of your items going into a landfill you can give your old shoes or whatever to some that could use them. This is how I found one tent. You use words like "Wanted" "Taken" Offer" Example "Offer" 2 blankets in good condition Sewell NJ.
7. I have great fun ideas to do with kids email me if your interested I will give you more ideas.

Updated

Well I am sorry you can't go on vacation but here are some ideas.
1. check out the prices for local camping sites we just returned from a weekend of camping. The camping sites are usually between $20-30 a night. I got one tent from freecycle and one tent that is big enough to fit a queen air bed in it for $1 dollar at a garage sell. Bring a cooler with simple foods like hotdogs, yogurt, peanut butter and jelly and apples.
I would go to Walmart. Keep your purchase low. They have the metal sticks for the marshmallows and hot dogs. Its called Coleman extended steel fork for $3.88. Buy a bag of charcoal. Bring some foldable chairs. Some blankets, tent,bug spray, lots of water.
2. host a manhunt at your house. We do all the time. My kids love playing this game and get to see all the neighborhood kids
3. Sometimes museums have a FREE day check it out.
4. Visit a different local park every week make it a fun experience.
5. type in free local activites in your area.
6. Join Freecycle. Its a world group. Instead of your items going into a landfill you can give your old shoes or whatever to some that could use them. This is how I found one tent. You use words like "Wanted" "Taken" Offer" Example "Offer" 2 blankets in good condition Sewell NJ.
7. I have great fun ideas to do with kids email me if your interested I will give you more ideas.

Updated

Well I am sorry you can't go on vacation but here are some ideas.
1. check out the prices for local camping sites we just returned from a weekend of camping. The camping sites are usually between $20-30 a night. I got one tent from freecycle and one tent that is big enough to fit a queen air bed in it for $1 dollar at a garage sell. Bring a cooler with simple foods like hotdogs, yogurt, peanut butter and jelly and apples.
I would go to Walmart. Keep your purchase low. They have the metal sticks for the marshmallows and hot dogs. Its called Coleman extended steel fork for $3.88. Buy a bag of charcoal. Bring some foldable chairs. Some blankets, tent,bug spray, lots of water.
2. host a manhunt at your house. We do all the time. My kids love playing this game and get to see all the neighborhood kids
3. Sometimes museums have a FREE day check it out.
4. Visit a different local park every week make it a fun experience.
5. type in free local activites in your area.
6. Join Freecycle. Its a world group. Instead of your items going into a landfill you can give your old shoes or whatever to some that could use them. This is how I found one tent. You use words like "Wanted" "Taken" Offer" Example "Offer" 2 blankets in good condition Sewell NJ.
7. I have great fun ideas to do with kids email me if your interested I will give you more ideas.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.P.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

There's some great ideas here. Here's some more. Check out some house swapping websites. You swap houses with someone for a week and check out the area they live in, saving lots of $. Have a "staycation"...go to familyfun.com or some other websites and "schedule" a week of fun activities at your house. Picnic one day in the living room. Have a movie festival one day. Do "olympics" one day. Have a baking day. Have a craft day. Etc., etc., etc. You don't have to go anywhere to have fun. Or, just book one night in a local hotel or in a neighboring town. As kids, we had a super time just swimming in the pool, eating in a restaurant, and sleeping all together!

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Puhleezze...
Our kids never went on a vacation ever until they were in 4th and 6th grade and we took them to Disney. They go to summer camps. They go to museums. They go to movies - When they were little we only went to the free ones on Tuesdays... Basically when they were little, if it cost money, it didn't happen.
We don't take vacations. If we go anywhere, we visit family, but it's not a real vacation. We spend time with relatives - we laugh, we eat, we talk... and then we go home.
You need to find the free stuff that's available to do.
YMMV
LBC

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

We used to go on vacations every year, but times are definitely harder financially for me right now. I feel guilty about not getting to take my son anywhere this summer, but I try not to feel like he's getting robbed. He and his dad just took a 10 day vacation so it's not like he didn't get to do anything at all. Still, I do feel bad about it. What we do is have picnics or just do little things together to make a day special. Fortunately for me, my son is very understanding and just having time with me is what matters to him.
I certainly do miss the days when we could afford to go out of town for a couple of nights but it just hasn't been possible. We used to go stay with friends at their house, but they just lost their home due to foreclosure and they have temporary living arrangements themselves so times have been tough for everybody.
I don't know if it's possible where you live, but if you have a tent, you could always "camp" in your backyard. That way, you can still have some fun but with all the convenience of the house being right there.
Try not to feel bad though. It's hard, I know, but I remember lots of summers after my grandpa came to live with us that we didn't go anywhere in particular and we still had fun as kids. We'd go have a bbq at the park or something for the day here and there or have water balloon wars.
There are lots of things you can do to have fun that don't cost much money and still make happy memories.

I wish you the best.

1 mom found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Austin on

My parents never did vacation trips in the summer, never took us to amusement parks or the beach. We would visit my grandmother but her house wasn't set up for kids. Some weeks we only went out of the house for church. We just had to find our own fun, or go with friends or church groups.
My husband, at the opposite extreme, loves to go on trips all the time. He does work hard to get good deals so that we can afford it. For example, he will pay for a yearly membership card for a park or museum, then go to that park or any others that give a discount with the card, many times in the year to get his money's worth.

You can still do some fun summer things at home. Like have a lemonade stand, play with squirt guns, make smores over the grill, camp in your backyard(or even in the dining room), visit the animals at the pet store, bike at a park, have a picnic, go fishing.
I haven't tried them, but Flylady.net(mostly focused on cleaning) has more suggestions for summer fun, and for summer camp activities you can do at home (search for camp gonnawannafly).

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

vacations are not required. We went this year for the first time since we got married 5 years ago, and it was just a long weekend away. Maybe there are fun things you can do in your area to break things up. We have a children's farmstead, for example, that's only a couple bucks a person and my daughter loves it.

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D.P.

answers from Detroit on

You are not being petty. You are just being a mom. When you feel that your kids are deprived you heart breaks a little. You can still have some family fun with little money but when its hard to find the time that can be a bit more difficult. Make it work somehow even if your hubby will have to loose a couple of hours of sleep and that you have to do it in the middle of the night. -You can lay out blankets in the backyard and count stars or make a whole adventure out of it by sleeping outdoors.

I tend to buy yearly memberships to museums and zoos (specially since it costs about 2 admissions). Pack your snacks and after the 3rd go it's pretty much a free fun day.

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Summers are tight for us. So I take the boys on a lot of day trips. We are fortunate living in the bay area that the beach is 45 minutes away and that is free. We bring our own lunch--it's easier both on the wallet and my mind. Look for places you can go like on trails in the hills, to a mission or some other historic place. A lot of places are reviewed on www.yelp.com and Google. Even going to the closest river and letting them play and explore then having a picnic lunch can be lots of fun. I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe if you can shift you vision of a vacation you can be satisfied with mini ones while taking advantage of the area you live in.

Hope this helps!

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A.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

No you're not being petty, but if money and time are really that tight then dont make empty promises. I hated and resented my parents for that. Either take him or tell him he's not going. If you think you might be able to do it, keep it quite til you know for sure. The dissappointment for him will only be worse then the asking he's already doing. Take a day...enjoy your family!

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L.N.

answers from New York on

are you being petty about what?
can't you really afford a trip to the aquarium?
reason i ask, i see so many people who actually can afford yet don't do things with kids or for kids because they're 'saving.'
then i remember someone who was just like that, saved and saved and saved, barely did anything with children, retired at 65 or something died 6 months later.
so if you can afford, even if it means there will be months when you're not saving by all means take them places. even if hubby cannot go because he's working, take the kids by yourself.

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S.R.

answers from Tulsa on

I've always believed, even when my kids were as young as yours, that "honesty is the best policy". NEVER promise something if you're not 100% sure you can deliver. Rather try and be creative and do fun things with the kids at home or nearby parks etc that aren't expensive. Rather be honest if you can't afford something and say so! (Kids know anyway!). We had our FIRST "family holiday 2 years ago when our children were 15 and 12 respectively! We all had a great time and could afford to be "tourists" in our own country! My best memories as a child was when my dad simply played with me or read me a book. Being on holiday DOES NOT mean having to spend money and actually travel to some other part of the country! A holiday at home CAN be fun!!

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I know it's hard not to feel bad. We haven't had a "vacation" with the kids in years either. It's just a sign of the times. It's hard to see how others seem to be travelling all the time. But I keep thinking that when we can we will have a really great trip that they will never forget! We are both business owners and commission only so we are doing the best you can. We found a water park by the house that the kids love and we have been going to that so they feel like they are doing something other than swimming in our own pool! Just wanted to say you aren't alone and try not to feel bad about it. Kids should understand about economy issues and shouldn't be kept from it. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I feel your pain. My husband works 2 jobs and we still don't have any money! I haven't been on vacation in over 6 years. I have learned about all the free or cheap places in town to take our kid to. In my town there is a Splash Pad and beach that is free. The local museums and zoo's are also affordable. We also went to Walmart and bought a small pool with toys to keep her busy. Sometimes it doesn't take a lot of money or a long trip to make them happy!

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L.H.

answers from Shreveport on

Don't feel bad, you are not alone. My 2nd son is also 7 yrs old and starting to ask why we don't go on vacation. Guess he hears other kids talk about vacation. I have 5 boys to take care of and my husband works very hard (one paycheck like you said) and vacation is costly and just not a priority. Once every 5 yrs or so we do go to Memphis to visit my husband's family, though. Although we stay busy w/ storytime, swimming lessons, movies, and VBS, as you know there is really nothing fun to do in LA. So anyway, don't feel bad about it just explain to your son that we don't have the money for a trip right now and it may be awhile before we do. Certain other things are more important right now. Good luck and God bless.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

No. Ask yourself this...Would you rather give your children the impression that you want them to have "things" or experiences that can only be bought? Do you want them to think that it is OK to go into debt because you want to do "stuff"? We haven't had a vacation with our children. Ever. It's the sacrifice we make so that I can stay home with them until they go to kinder. There is all the time in the world to do "stuff". For now, just teach your kids the worth of being a little bored sometimes. It's great for the imagination.

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J.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't think you have to have a formal vacation to do fun things! Not sure where you live exactly, but where I am, it's only an hour drive to the ocean, there are also state parks/ lakes with beaches even closer. We go to the zoo, or the playground. We are always out and about, but I don't spend a ton of money.
Also, are you waiting for your husband to do things? if I did, I would never do anything either!!! haha! Even when he's not working, he has other things he wants to do, so we do most things without him!!!

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I am glad to know I'm not alone. We never took vacations until last May. We went to go visit my husband's family once, and to my brother's boot camp graduation - but never vacations. Last year we finally had the money and went on three amazing vacations - so our kids got a nice taste of the good life. This year my husband is out of work and we can't even get away for one night. Once he goes back we will try to do something local, but we are also coming up on Christmas, and we all know how expensive that is. We are making a huge effort to do things around town with them. For example, I was off on Friday and I took the kids and a picnic lunch to our local pool, Saturday we went to see a local production of Cinderella, and then to a friends house for a BBQ. Today, we went to church, my parents were kind enough to treat us to lunch, and then we went on base to see a free showing of Nanny McPhee Returns (amazing) and because I used to work there and know the manager very well, she let us stay for the second movie for free also - Karate Kid!! Now we are home and making taco's - which is a family event in my house as well. So I know what you are going through...it is no fun at all, but just try to do things with them every day...even if it's a magic trip to the library. Give your older son a scavengar hunt to go on...maybe certain books to find, a computer game, or a DVD. This economy is horrible...I wish you all luck!! But I was also raised in a military family of 7 = not a lot of money at times!! My parents did the same thing we are doing now, and I have GREAT memories. Enjoy your babies and the summer :).

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C.R.

answers from Jackson on

Wow - you took the words out of my mouth. I am in the same boat. Im a substitute teacher no pay during summer and now I am 8 mons along and we about drained our savings and my husband has not had much luck with work. I am afraid of us bneing homeless or not knowing where to turn. This summer has been not so good as I thought - thinking of all the times my 7 yr old is out of school we could go do something? I am due 9/15th and wont get paid while I am out on maternity leave either. I am trying to get a 2nd job on w/e's when my husband is not working.

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B.P.

answers from Hattiesburg on

go to the zoo, water park, movies of something elase just for the day. that is what we did this summer, like ever other week we did something fun and out of the house

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Everyone in the Northeast is advertising "daycations" or "staycations". The truth is most people can't aford a traditional week long vacation. Sometimes it helps just to get away for the day or even an afternoon.

There are lots of low costs things you can do. Check out the library in your town and neighboring towns, they have programs. Many towns offer free summer evening concerts, pack up a picnic dinner and enjoy an evening out. Some of our local theaters offer free movies or bargin ones for $1, they show movies that came out several years ago.

Today we took a daycation, planned Friday. We called some friends, loaded up the kayaks and picnic baskets and took off to the state park for the day. Day use was $5 per vehicle and the cost of gas to get there. Food doesn't count because we would have eaten the same at home. Very little cost but it really felt great to get away for the day.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

My oldest is 8 and we've never done a summer vacation. I never had summer trips as a child either. I did spend weeks at a time with my grandparents and that was fun enough for me. And my kids do the same thing. it gives them the chance to spend alot of time with their grandparents w/o mom and dad there.

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A.J.

answers from Baton Rouge on

one thing YOU MUST REMEMBER never make a promise you cannot keep.

We were dirt poor and fortunately had relatives who were also poor but lived in the country and I would spend summers there.

Make sure to get the husband involved when a spare time comes. Gets some marshmellows in weiners. dig a hold in the yard, gather sticks wood make a fire and roast them. If not affordable think about doing the same thing and wrap some affordable food in used foil, if necessary, and cook some meals this way.

THe host important thing is to spend quality time with the children.
Make sure to sit down together, pray, make conversation. No tv
No phone etc. Yes they will complain the first couple of weeks but then you will see a big change in them.

God Bless

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E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

At 7YO your oldest should be able to understand that 1) things like vacations are nice but not necessities, and mom and dad would love to go on vacation too but they need to make sure that the necessities are paid for first; 2) that his parents' love for him isn't based on the amount of money they can spend (and IMO all parents need to remind *themselves* of this too, because it's so easy to get into the mindset of wishing we could show our love for our kids by getting them more cool stuff or going to more cool places - we all need to remember that the most valuable gift we can give our kids is our love and care for them. It's easy to think that the kids whose families can give them all the cool 'stuff' are happy but a LOT of those kids are unhappy b/c their parents don't spend *time* with them, they just spend money on them); 3) that there are fun things that can be done without going "away".

Like the PP's have said - look around for local 'freebie' events - in our area there are museums that have free admission on the first tuesday or wednesday of the month, free concerts in some local parks, even free movies in some theaters. Finishing the local public library's summer reading program nets the kids free passes for two local science museums.
Check your library for books on fun things you can do with recycled materials (cardboard boxes, cardboard tubes from paper towel or toilet paper rolls). Have a backyard campout. Find some classic stories to read together (not sure what a 7YO boy would like - maybe adventure stories like Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn?) - one of the best things about reading the "Little House" books with my daughters was that it showed them a reality where family togetherness was valued more than material things, and joy was found in 'simple' things like gatherings with neighbors and relatives.
My family didn't go on vacation much during my childhood (maybe 3 times between birth and college LOL) but I grew to understand that it was because of things like my parents deciding to live on one income while we were younger so my mom could be home with us, and setting aside money so that we wouldn't need to take out a lot of student loans for college.

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