Feeding Your Baby with Your Finger?

Updated on May 17, 2010
J.D. asks from Philadelphia, PA
16 answers

Dear Mamas,

My husband fed our son rice cereal from his finger because he is not digging the spoon. In fact, he won't eat from the spoon. (My LO is exclusively breastfed.) First, I think this is very unsanitary; second, it doesn't give him the choice of whether or not he wants to or is ready to eat solids. Anyone have experiences they can share or have any info they found on the internet about feeding from your finger?

Thanks as always.

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

I wouldn't recommend it because it doesn't teach the skill of eating with a spoon, which is a necessary skill that all babies need to learn. You're not going to want to finger feed him for ever, right? It takes some babies several weeks to get the hang of spoon eating and it sometimes takes 10-15 times before a child will eat a new food, so don't give up!

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Okay, I am going to differ in response to a few others here; but after doing a little research on your previous post; I want to comment. I wanted to know how old your baby is; it appears he is 7 months. I also see that you and "dad" are seperated and that you are breastfeeding your son. There are several things going on here. Your "Hubby" wants some control right now of your son and the situation. I see that you have said that he has "bragged" about being able to get solids into your son. I think this is feeding his ego. The truth is a breastfeed baby can go without solids until they are 9 months old. There is no rush. I see that a PP's said that it is fine, because the baby does not need to "learn" to eat from a spoon; well this is not exactly true. It is true that it is a skill the baby will pick up, but the main reason for introducing solids is so that the baby PRACTICES the skill of opening the mouth, closing the mouth and taking the solids from the spoon. They then PRACTICE rotating the tongue to swallow the solid food. Ask a pediatric SLP. I never realized the effort ans muscle coordination that goes into this until I attended a medical conference. Just one of those things; the same way we do not process how hard it is for a baby to make his/her way through the birth canal. These skills that are PRACTICED later aids in speech/language development. I really think this is your husband (may be ex-husband's) way of taking some feeding control with your baby. The cereal is not needed; just desired by your husband.
I would follow baby's lead. I would follow baby's lead. I would continue to offer the cereal in the proper way with a bowl and spoon and when he is ready to take it and practice the skill he will. Right now he is learning a lot of other skills. I would stick to just the Rice cereal, making it first real thin then slowly making it thicker and let him take the lead. The control issue with your husband, I do not know how to address that. The need to make him "suck is finger" is not necessary. Unless you have a FTT (failure to thrive) child and you are trying to boost up his caloric and iron intake, I would not worry. I would ask him to stop with the finger feeding. We do this to infants yes when they are in the hospital, but that is because we are trying to exsercise the tongue and pallet and trying to teach them to suck. If you have a breastfed baby, he has mastered this skill, so finger feeding him cereal is not serving much purpose. I guess it is a litlle immune system booster, because sucking on a finger even with washed hands is not the cleanest, due to not being able to clean finger nails. So I guess you are getting a few antibodies, an ego booster for your husband, but not much more than that. So if your relationship is still well enough that things of this matter do not turn into an unneeded argument, I would share this information with him. Your baby will come around to eatting. It appears that at 7 1/2 months he was just developing the skill to sit up independently. Just think many babies at 6 month photos sit nice, tall and strong and these babies are told to start solids; so if yours is just learning and not even a strong sitter yet, give the kid a break and let him master one thing at a time. Good Luck! I know it is hard when you are involved, but the time of nursing will past really soon and you have a lifetime of spoon feeding. (((HUGS)))))

2 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

If I remember right you were posting about your lo not really eating solids right? And now it sounds like your husband is kind of force feeding him by your statement "it doesn't give him the choice of whether or not he wants to or is ready to eat solids" That's kind of disconcerting to me. Eating should be a positive experience when baby is ready.

My exclusively breastfed daughter would gag on solids and wanted nothing to do with them till she was 9 months old! It was no big deal in this house. I feel it's important to follow baby's lead at this stage and your lo is telling you what he does and doesn't want at this point. I think your husband needs to back off and relax about the solids.

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

Based purely off of your Q: there's no problem whatsoever as long as he washes his hands. This is actually a very common into to tasting solids for kids 6-12 months when they're first being introduced.

Yes, using utensils (spoons, chopsticks, whatever... I was only allowed to use chopsticks with my nanny) teaches fine motor control... but you're not really concerned with fine motor control when you're first introducing foods/ tasting. Also... babies don't eat easily... but they DO spit things out easily. The only way to keep something they don't want in their mouths is to hold it and their lips shut. Even things they WANT in their mouths tends to ooze out while they're learning the oral fine motor. So if she doesn't want it, she's not going to be swallowing it.

Based off of what others have said: this looks like a co-parenting argument? That you're looking for ammunition?

The finger won't be it. However, you can adjust your parenting plan so that no foods other than breastmilk (or milk & formula) be allowed for x # of months. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at things), however, both parties have to agree. My best friend's mum fought for years for over the diet her kids ate at dad's house, but because dad was giving them a healthy diet (just not what her mum WANTED them to eat, and when, and how, and how much) she never won in the courts. She was basically told that her time was her time, and dad's time was dad's time... and that neither were allowed to dictate what happened on the other person's time. The only way she was legally allowed to dictate what happened was if dad agreed in writing, or if she sued and won full custody.

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E.M.

answers from Denver on

I don't see what the problem is, as long as he washes his hands first. Rice cereal basically has no nutritional value. It is just a starter to food to get babies used to thicker and different textures than milk. Learning to eat off of a spoon is not a skill--though learning to hold one himself is and that won't come til later anyway. He will take the spoon eventually and eventually learn to use his fingers and utensils to feed himself. How is he not being given the choice on whether or not he wants to eat solids-- unless your husband is shoving his finger down the baby's throat, which it doesn't sound like he is (and you can force food into his mouth with a spoon too). Your baby sounds like he likes the cereal, if he isn't refusing it off of the finger. The spoon probably just feels a little funny.

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

As long as Dad washes his hands first, no big deal. How old is the baby? He may not be ready for the spoon but can manipulate it easier off the finger. Just go with it and he'll eventually start taking from the spoon. I'm sure Dad and son look cute eating this way!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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A.P.

answers from Allentown on

How old is he? If he's younger than 6 mos, I wouldn't suggest any form of solid. Period. Especially for an EBF baby (exclusively breast fed). But other than that, finger-feeding is perfectly fine & actually a much gentler transition. Obviously, ones hands should always be clean first, but other than that, it's fine. I mean, they generally chew on your fingers (and certainly theirs!) anyway!

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F.H.

answers from Sharon on

Dr Sears recommends this one. Obviously if you take care to scrub your fingers and nails your hands will be sanitary. Dr Sears argues that for breastfed babies it is more natural for them to eat this way. Its soft warm and feels like skin! We now feed with a spoon as we only did it in the beginning to help him transition to a spoon.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T032000.asp#T032005

Scroll down to "how do I start"

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, Green:
How old is your baby?
D.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I fee my 9 month old with my fingers. I've done it with both of my kids. They haven't suffered any ill effects from it. When a baby first learns to eat by themselves, they use their fingers. It helps them with their fine motor skills. They don't learn to use a spoon until they've mastered feeding themselves with their fingers. I don't really get your concern. As long as he's washing his hands first, what's the big deal? What is your specific concern? How is it not giving your child the choice to eat or not? Unless he's holding your child down, he's not forcing him. Whether the food comes from a spoon, a finger or a breast, the baby still has to open his mouth.

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J.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

My first question reading this is how old is he? If he's under 6 months just hold off on the solids- he's probably not ready yet. I had to finger feed my daughter when she was a newborn- it was recommended by the nurses at the hospital and the lactation consultants. As long as the hands are clean it's as sanitary as anything else he's putting in his mouth. That being said, the initial point of solids to get babies used to eating solids- to learn how to move the food in their mouth and eat from a spoon; there is no nutritional value to solids at the beginning since they take so little of it. So, it's important that he learn how to eat solids from a spoon. Just keep trying to offer the spoon, he will eventually get it. But like I said earlier, if he's under 6 months or not showing signs of readiness for solids (loss of tounge thrust reflex, being interested in foods you are eating) he might just not be ready yet.

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I can totally understand your concerns about the finger.... You may want to try this infant bottle/spoon contraption I found by Nuby. My son hated the spoon at first, but he took to this easily...
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?product...

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L.S.

answers from New London on

I think Dr. sears recommends this style of feeding. It actually works well with out 6 mo old. Just make sure you wash your hands.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

I don't see any harm in this. Your child will not feed himself with the spoon at first either. It will not cause a long term effect. How many adults do you know that eat with their fingers only? or 5 year olds? As for the sanitary thing, as long as your hands are clean, the kid is not going to be harmed. I take it this is your first kid... believe me, there will be worse things your child puts in his mouth!

Relax and let Daddy have some bonding time.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldnt do that. It is unsanitary and not teaching him how to eat with a spoon. I would keep using the spoon, eventually he will be ok with it and when he is old enough he will feed himself with it instead of his fingers. I would really discourage your husband or anyone from feeding him with fingers.

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