Fat Friendly Doctor

Find another doctor - one that actually has a bedside manner and sees the progress you are making, and listens to you. I don't understand a doc that ignores low homrones, especially a fertility doc. Good luck!

I have had PCOS diagnosed about 10 years ago and the first thing my primary doc did was refer me to an endocrinologist. When I got married and we could not get pregnant, they referred me to a fertility specialist. I am overweight as well, which does frequently go along with the PCOS. We did clomid for two months, IUI for two months and then went to IVF. We have a 2.5 year old and are now again pregnant after another round of IVF - don't give up!

PLEASE join http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/OASIS-L/

OASIS stands for Overweight and Seeking Infertilty Support. They'll have support and advice for you. (I found this "family" of groups when I was pregnant-- they're a great group of ladies and I hope you graduate to the pregnancy, breastfeeding and OMOM groups soon!)

I can not tell you how much it pisses me off when I go to a doctor with an earache and they tell me it's related to my weight! REALLY!? All that fat just sitting up there in my ears?!
Listen mama...I am BIG. No two ways about it. I have also had three successful pregnancys..big. I don't think that is the only reason. CONGRATS on losing so much weight, I know that is so hard. Find another doctor and start all over. Make sure that when you go in and interview your doctor you tell him/her exactly what you are looking for and exactly how you feel.
Huge hugs to you.
L.

I would try to find another doctor... if for nothing else a second opinion. But I have never her of anyone having to loose weight to get pregnant and I was over 200# for a long time. My lowest weight in the past 12 years was 183# and I do eat healthy and do go for walks, plus tending to my big family is exercise in it's self. And despite my weight I have never had a doctor tell me to loose weight... yes most of them are suprised at my test results, and tell me they are better then most people my age despite my weight. Sorry but i don't feel we were all made to look like Barbie & it sounds like your doctor does.

Good luck & I hope you end up with a healthy and happy little one someday!

I vote for finding another doctor now - a doctor that specializes in PCOS.

My friend has that and has been trying to get pregnant for the past year. So far, she can barely get her periods to be on a regular schedule. It's so hard for her to lose weight (she diets and exercises as well). She's currently looking for another doctor too. There's more to the story, but I think you get the gist. She is beyond frustrated at this point.

You sound that way as well and deserve a doctor that will listen to you and treat you with respect!

Sounds like your doctor fired you.
Find another fertility specialist.
We tried for 4 years before we went to a fertility specialist and we got pregnant first try with IVF ICSI (I was 200 lbs at the time).
A good fertility specialist will look at both you and your husband (just because he had no trouble fathering kids before now doesn't mean he doesn't have issues now) and should recommend a treatment based on all the difficulties you need to overcome.

Yes, this doctor needs to go. She is clearly not working WITH you to find a solution to your issues...

Find another doctor A. - you don't have to go to one that makes you feel bad. You are working hard to get pregnant, you deserve a doctor that will work just as hard.
God Bless.

You've gotten a lot of good advice...
I just wanted to send you a ((hug)).
Your Dr. is a JERK.
Don't give up! :)

Well, that was rude! You're paying her to tell you off?

Congrats on losing 90 lbs! That's almost my 10y!

My sister has PCOS, so I have some 2nd hand knowledge of it. For her walking on a treadmill and doing some light weight lifting has helped. Also diet wise eating fewer carbs higher protein.

I would also cut back on working out 6 days a week. Add a mid-week day off, or add a new exercise like Zumba. Have you spoken to a trainer? Its possible that your workout is working against you at this point. Esp. if you are at a plateau.

As for your upcoming move, I would probably wait until after your covered on insurance in FL. If you were to get pregnant now, you may not have insurance to cover the delivery because it might be considered preexisting.

Edit after the SWH: 3 years. Wow. Could it be that your body is too stressed? My normal, usual advice to friends that have been trying for a year or more is to stop trying. Let your body rest, and let it happen when it happens. Stop the charting, the temps, the nonspontaneous moments. A few of my friends were obsessed. Sex wasn't about enjoying each other anymore. It was about getting pregnant and angles and timing. Literally, as soon as they stopped trying, and in 3 cases started the adoption process they became pregnant on their own. Good luck in finding your path to Mom-hood. Just remember that there ARE other options to having a family and having a child to hear cry, laugh, walk and succeed. Hugs.

Even if the weight was the case she sounds very insensitive!!!! I have never been in your shoes as far as infertility, I can only imagine how difficult it is. I would think a doctor in this field would have compassion due to it's sensitive nature. There are good doctors out there, dump her and find another doctor with some bedside manners. Good luck!!

If you feel uncomfortable with this dr, I'd change drs. You really want the person guiding you and going thru all of this with you to be someone you are completely happy with and comfortable with. If you and husband are unhappy, find someone else.

Of course you should fire her. I say of course because if she has just now mentioned the 32 lbs she has set you up for failure. One cannot lose over 10lbs per month in a healthy manner. How dare you question her approach to your health issue? You are moving soon. Use this time for a fresh start in many ways. I agree that continued weight loss can only help you. But you and your husband are both aware that this doctor crossed the line. Good doctors can handly inquirys by their patients. And most will sit and speak with you about why they feel the course that are asking you to follow is best for you. However insecure DRs get defensive quickly when questioned. Most people don't realize that often there is extra incentive to order a certain medication. There can be pressure from an insurance company. It may be that that this does not apply to this situation. But it happens much more frequently than people realize. Good luck!

I would definitely change. She has no compassion!

Is this an ob/gyn or an actual fertility specialist? Clomid doesn't work for many people and you need to move on since after a certain number of cycles, it can cause you problems. Get rid of this quack. I saw a fantastic fertility specialist who never uttered a word about my weight, even though I could lose some. And I saw women of all sizes in that office. Losing 90 pounds is impressive. Don't feel insecure about this. Get to the right physician who is going to help you, not hinder.

Well I don't exactly know what you are going through, but it sounds to me like your doctor is very disrespectful of you. Even if the doctor thinks you should lose more weight, she should be approaching it in a different way. I'd find another doctor.

I'd find another doctor.

Is she an RE or just OB/GYN? My sister (no weight problems but other things) went to an RE and then changed REs because she felt like the doctor was just pushing IVF for his own pocket. One or two rounds of IUI with the new doc later, she has her son. I would find another doctor if this one is unwilling to work with you. Yes, you might still have to lose weight, but you need someone who has a better bedside manner.

I would look for another DR. How long have you been on Clomid? My firtility dr told me after a certain point I was wasting my money taking it. While I now have four wonderful children my first two were concieved with the help of firtility meds. While it was more than just PCOS, which I do have, I had to go on to injectable meds after 6 months of Clomid with no results. Many people with PCOS do not respond to Clomid. I think your DR needs to go and soon.

Switch doctors and explain you will soon be without insurance that covers it.
Also, my doctor gave me progesterone pills to take while pregnant.

Finda a clinic that specializes in a method called Creighton Model Fertility Care. I have posted a link with information as to what this is, and where to find a clinic in your area and where you are moving to.

http://www.fertilitycare.org/infertility-ivf-alternative/

Doctors in Washington: http://www.fertilitycare.org/washington-medical-consultants/

Doctors in Florida: http://www.fertilitycare.org/florida-medical-consultants/

Hugs and ugh about the doctor... I have pcos too.. Can u check on yelp.com and see if there is endocrinologist doctor in your area.. My obgyn referred me to one and was also able to set me up with a dietitian that my insurance covers.. You will want to have an endocrinologist and obgyn.. That way the two doctors can help with fertility. I struggle with my weight too.
L.

Wow - switch doctors. Doctors are just regular people. They don't know everything. Some don't do a good job of keeping up with the newest info. Some are lazy or too opinionated. It's easy - just switch. Find a better doctor. I think you got a bad one! It is hard from some people to change bc they think they need to feel loyal to their doctor or that their doctor "knows" them. Don't worry about that...your records will be transferred (make sure this gets done) and your new doctor will be able to read up and know everything you have gone through so far.

best of luck to you :-)

Yes, I would get another doctor. There has to be a better doctor for you. Congratulations on losing the 90 lbs. That is incredibly impressive. Keep going, but don't let her comment sway you from continuing to seek help NOW. I would suggest you find a naturopathic doctor. They tend to work with your actual root causes, and not merely treat symptoms. If you need progesterone, a naturopath will figure that out quickly enough, and get you on some bioidentical progesterone rather than synthetic. There is a HUGE difference to your body, although most allopathic doctors (mainstream MDs) will not recognize this fact. Best wishes to you. I have had 2 miscarriages this year also. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I understand your pain.