My ex and I are having a hard time co parenting our daughter together. I really want to make it better! Does anyone have a counselor they can suggest for this type of help? We need to learn how to communicate better and also how to put our daughter 1st above everything else and not put her in the middle. I'm not perfect and neither is he. Also, after him and I work out some of our issues I'd like to eventually have his new wife come into counseling with us. We are in the Orlando area.
Any suggestions?
Oh ps, I asked my ex if he would be interested this morning and he hasn't responded :( I really hope he is up for it. I am starting to see the effects on our daughter and it hurts me so bad.
**Update, so far he is not into it. He thinks everything is my fault :( and he does nothing wrong. But I am not giving up yet. **
I know how you feel. Whenever my ex and I try to talk we end up arguing. Therefore we don't talk to each other as much as we should. He moved to a smaller town and my son is now telling me he can't work the days he is at his father's house because it's too much gas money for him. How do I teach him to be responsible when his father isn't? I'm glad you are trying to get help. Good Luck!
I agree with the suggestion to look for a counselor that speciallizes in children and/or family issues. I also agree with not looking for a religious based approach, unless that is both you and your ex's approach. I'm in MN, so don't have a recommendation for you.
If your ex won't go to counseling, you can still go. It's still possible to learn techniques to make this better for you and your daughter, even if he won't participate. You can't change him, but if you "show up differently" then he will have to respond differently. Counseling can help your daughter, also, whether one of both of her parents actually are involved in the counseling. And maybe if you start, he will become interested in being part of it. He may just need some time to consider this. Men sometimes feel like they are being "blamed" for the problem and also some feel like they should be able to fix this themselves, without help.
Good for you for reaching out for help!
If he won't agree to family counseling you take your daughter and both of you go. It will be helpful to you to learn new ways and methods and means of communicating with your ex as well as teach your daughter how to handle her feelings in the light of living separate lives with one parent here and the other over there.
My ex goes to counseling to work on issues he neEds resolved....so we go to his therapist/doctor....his counselor I have spoken with on several occasions and says he will always be unbiased and put Emmy's needs first, so he has agreed to be ouir mediator for her for the next 14 years...hopefully he stays in business and doesn't move! I'm not from your area, bt I wouldn't suggest a catholic one unless u both are very religious, I would suggest a counselor that specializes in children because even though u two will be the ones tlaking, you want Whats best for her! My ex's therapist specializes in children and is awesome! Also she may need to speak with the therapist at some point so it would be good to find one you need.
As soon as you both trust eachother to put her first and let go a little control and have faith that each party loves you daughter with their whole heart and soul than things will get eaiser......maybe work on yuor friendship with your ex and his current wife
contact Catholic Charities - they have counselors and a sliding scale (even free) and even though they are associated with the Catholic Church you don't need to be Catholic or religious to attend. My family used their services 20+ years ago when my parents were divorcing and it helped my parents learn to co-parent
Good luck
This is awesome that you are making the effort for your daughter. I hope you ex is on board with you. I also think it is a good idea to get step-mom on the same page. If you all get along and have the same rules it will make it sooo much easier on your daughter.
You can either look up an actual family counselor, or take a parenting class together. Sometimes parenting classes are offered free by your city or county. I applaud you both for wanting to be better co-parents!! Good for you :)
We used Agape. Its Christian based. We went for family counseling for our son when he was young. He had anger issues and needed to learn how to deal with them and we as parents need to learn how to disipline him in a way that he would understand. I wanted to nip his behavior before he got older and was bigger than me! It was very successful and he is a very well adjust young man.
Check with your employer and see if they have an EAP. (Employee Assistance Program) They can help in recommending a therapist and sometimes you get 1 to 3 sessions free. Good luck!
